as though no one else exists

10

Atlanta is unlike anything else on TV. It exists in a surreal, alternate reality. In Atlanta, Justin Bieber is black (though still a privileged jerk), black kids show up to class in “whiteface” and when an NBA player claims to own an invisible car, he actually does. It shatters archetypes for its characters, and gives everyone time in the spotlight. And its season one arc wonderfully defies logic.

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First of all let me just say I know what you mean when you say you can’t live without him, I know how much it breaks your heart to think about him sleeping next to someone who isn’t you. I know how much it makes your soul bleed to have to picture your life without him, trust me, I know. And I know that right now you’re utterly convinced that he is the one for you even though deep down you know he isn’t, but right now the idea of him feels so right and you don’t want to start over with somebody else. But let me tell you that your heart beat way before him and your lungs could breathe way before you even knew of his existence and they’ll continue to do so way after he’s gone. Life has no pause button, it goes on with or without you. You cannot continue to force something that is out of your control. If it isn’t right anymore you have to be able to admit that and walk away from it even if you think it’ll burn your life to the ground because you don’t think you can breathe without him, newsflash: you can and you will, because sometimes you have no other choice.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write

I’m in love with ancient philosophers and I find salvation in empty galleries. I get high off the smell of old worn out books and the only solitude I’ve ever known, I’ve found in paintings inspired by my broken heart at 3 a.m.



I’ve learned that there is no hurt that can’t be soothed by poetry, and there is no religion more effective than love. There should be no race beyond humanity and the only war you should be fighting is the one to be a better person today than the one you were yesterday. Beyond all I’ve learned to never make a home out of another person, though their heart may be big, you were never meant to live there. Fall in love with your existence, flirt with your passions and search relentlessly for your nirvana. All else in this world is temporary and irrelevant.

—  indieluhv

this just in: it’s homophobic™ to be a poc and be tired of white lgbt rep even though white lgbt rep is all that people seem to care about and will gladly rally together to save a show that shows white lgbt rep but when a show like the get down exists no one seems to care about it except to make articles about how it’ll probably get cancelled while not doing anything like watch it and show support for it to keep it around

I once asked the stars how they love when they know it’ll end in goodbye, how they can kiss the night, and leave with no words. though I want to leave my loneliness, I’m afraid I’ll have no one else. my smiles have cracks that match where you last left your knuckles. I want to be more than an emotion you sleep on, more than lips you photograph when the sun catches the snow. I want to exist past a label you pour when silence says your heart is too loud, past prayers on the curbside when the only road drives comfort up your spine. darling, I left you on the tip of my tongue to quiet these thoughts whenever you speak a nightmare. tell me why the moon is afraid to get closer to the earth, and I’ll tell you how sadness held me instead of your words. I’ll tell you how my pillow has memorized your name. I’ve been trying to forget this - the fingers curled around every sunrise I write about, the lips talking to every song writing out the ache I’ll always be, the days coming to be in your sigh. I know I said that I would be okay when I should have said it hurts… it hurts - if I wasn’t supposed to love you, why did our hearts meet? I’m sorry baby, you were the sun and moon to me. I’ll never get over you and you’ll never get over me. Those are some of my favorite lyrics, now I’ll cut them short and ask you why the sun always leaves an hour right before we cry, people cry every night– you just can’t see the tears, that’s why pillows exist. I used to believe in always and forever, but the liquor you’ve been drinking tends to blur the lipstick poems left on that mirror– some days look like we’ll make it work, other days I’m almost certain that we won’t. i once asked my cigarettes if they loved me, can just hand me the lung cancer before the next puff. i’m smoking to kill myself or maybe to just kill time, i forgot the when and the why, i do remember the who though– you used to know when i’d be down, a simple text and i’d know, a simple touch and i’m home. our hands remember more than our brains do and that’s the saddest thing about you. i want to hug my depression, because the only one sleeping next to me is usually a bag full of regrets that i never get around to open… when the world wants to break you, that’s all you’ll ever get– so break with me. you used to say that the honey phase is the best– lately we’ve been hanging onto the last drop in every bottle, the cabinet feels sorry for us. you used to do drugs to get high, or did you do drugs to sleep? wait, see i’m confused again, those were things that i did when you looked like you didn’t care– was it how i’ve treated you lately? or was it just too misty outside for you to recognize us? you just wanted an I love you, I just wanted to believe you. like if it really meant something to you, why didn’t you stay? although the poetry has traces of you, you’re just fucking residue and dust. i still miss my heart, you’re still holding it. you’re oblivious to the feelings, so i’m still writing to get over you. they say some people take years to get over, i’m just finally starting to see the truth. you left more blue on my lips than the rain, you left more red in my body than passion– I’m still wondering if we meant anything, some days I just pop another pill in hopes that it’ll give me an answer. You know you’re fucking up your life when you’ve bought over 200 pills the last three months. You know you’re fucking up your body when you cough to wake up instead of waiting for the alarm. You know you’re not okay when you’ve had plenty of sleep and you’re just needing to sleep some more. It’s a stalemate, love is a chessboard– some days we’re just pawns waiting for the right move– we always checkmate ourselves into another reason. Why didn’t you just call me? Was a simple text that hard? Give it to me straight, do you love us at all? Your silence gives me all of the answers. You can say hello to my New Year’s resolutions.
—  The Ate & The Bunso

God what’s really blowing my mind about Yuri on Ice and what Kubo has recently said regarding the relationship between Yuri and Viktor.. is that I’ve never actually seen an anime (or, really, any other form of media) that is set in a world exactly like our own, but where homophobia does not exist, where it’s just not a thing

So many LGBTQ+ stories I see are (at least in part) based around the existence of homophobia. Like it’s an inherent and automatic aspect of any world containing LGBTQ+ people - if we exist, naturally ‘everyone else’ has a problem with us. Because those stories are written as if LGBTQ+ people are not the ones reading them - they often show the ‘harsh realities of being LGBTQ+’ as though they could only be writing for an audience who has no idea what those realities are. And as such they tend to perpetuate the ‘LGBTQ+ Is Suffering’ idea, as much as they try to do good by writing LGBTQ+ characters.

And this story just doesn’t have that. The gay main characters were shown to be open about their relationship in this most recent episode and all of the characters were cool with it. That is not something I’ve seen before.

And of course I’m not saying Yuri is some sort of champion of LGBTQ+ media, because it’s not LGBTQ+, it’s just G, but still… It’s a story where non-het people are normal, where we’re not an other. This is a story that feels like it’s for us, rather than about us and for someone else.

It’s a step in the right direction and oh man will I take it.

10

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Chapter One: The Worst Birthday
 
“Happy birthday to me … happy birthday to me …”

No cards, no presents, and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed miserably into the hedge. He had never felt so lonely. More than anything else at Hogwarts, more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. They, however, didn’t seem to be missing him at all. Neither of them had written to him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay.

Summer Memories - Part I: Breakfast

Stan didn’t recover his memories all at once-it took a full week of intensive scrapbook therapy for him to get them back. It’s been one heck of a summer, that’s for sure, and she’s been there through all of it. This weird, kind, excitable little girl who calls him Grunkle Stan and who brought him back from the blankness in his head. This girl who trusted him when no one else could.

Ao3

Thanks to Scribefindegil for betaing!


You’re our hero, Stanley…

The old man shifted in the space between sleep and wakefulness, feeling the firm couch come into existence underneath him. The heartbroken face in his dream, in his memory, was slowly replaced as light leaked into him and filled his vision with another face. A soft, apple-cheeked one with eager brown eyes, and a smile big enough to swallow the sun.

“Good morning, Grunkle Stan!”

He’d been told his name was Stanley, though he still felt more comfortable with the name Stanford, but there was something warm and just right in that name, Grunkle Stan. He blinked up at the girl leaning over him. He knew who she was. Mabel. His niece–no, his grand-niece. He knew who the man pressed against him was too, still snoring, with one arm slung across his chest. That was his twin brother. The true owner of the name Stanford Pines.

By now he had lots of memories of Mabel. He remembered letting her wind her yarn around his feet while he was watching TV so she could knit one of those big, crazy sweaters she loved. Remembered holding a bowl of pancake mix while she added in gummi koalas and toffee peanuts and everything else she’d found in the cabinet. He remembered driving his car through the town while blindfolded with her sitting on his lap shouting “Right turn! Now left! Hit the brakes, Grunkle Stan, you just ran over a stop sign!”

The image that stood out the most in his mind was what he still thought of as his first memory, even if he knew it must have come sixty-something years into his life. It was the image of her running up to him and leaping into his arms to hug him. And the look on her face when he didn’t know why she’d done it.

He didn’t want to see that look on her face ever again.

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Then deaths began to accumulate, though still scattered: sudden deaths, entirely unexpected deaths, as well as deaths which were fought long and hard, to the very last breath. Many now have quietly prayed for many friends to die. Many have marvelled at thestrength of young hearts in prematurely aged and emaciated bodies. Deaths overlap. Sometimes the death of a comparative stranger is felt more deeply than that of an old flame. Names disappear, and surely few have time to honour all the anniversaries of deaths. Many weeks and even months would be packed with little else. Sometimes entire groups of friends are swallowed up as if they had never existed. Looking through old photos one becomes aware of a growing army of the dead. You learn to avoid certain streets, certain towns, certain cities. Often bars and clubs feel intolerably thick with ghosts, though they usually encourage one to have a good time. To avoid ghosts it is necessary to find new social haunts, but nowhere remains ghostfree for long. Then you learn to stop trying to avoid them, for their messages are important.
—  Simon Watney, Imagine Hope: AIDS and Gay Identity.
Uncomfortable

Request: Hey, I love your writing so much 💗 Could you maybe write something about Y/n looking through fan accounts & fan fictions of Shawn & Shawn gets home & gets really uncomfortable 💗 it would mean a lot :))

It wasn’t often that you stalked your boyfriend’s tag on tumblr.  It was a quick and easy search: Shawn Mendes.  Thousands upon thousands of search results would come up, and with nothing better to do, you decided to see what his fans were up to.

On your own tumblr, you followed about two or three blogs about Shawn, you know, just to keep up with him when he wasn’t answering his phone.  The ones you followed only posted pictures of him though, nothing else.  So when you came upon a few pieces of writing, you became interested.

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E.E. Cummings for the Signs
  • Aries: "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
  • Taurus: "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
  • my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
  • I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
  • by only me is your doing, my darling)…"
  • Gemini: "Existing’s tricky, but to live’s a gift."
  • Cancer: "Someone asked me what home was and all I could think of were the stars on the tip of your tongue, the flowers sprouting from your mouth, the roots entwined in the gaps between your fingers, the ocean echoing inside of your ribcage."
  • Leo: "The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
  • Virgo: "The mind is its own beautiful prisoner."
  • Libra: "Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense."
  • Scorpio: "Trust your heart
  • if the seas catch fire
  • (and live by love
  • though the stars walk backward)"
  • Sagittarius: "Your head is a living forest full of song birds."
  • Capricorn: "His lips drink water but his heart drinks wine."
  • Aquarius: "You are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing."
  • Pisces: "For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)

  • it’s always ourselves we find in the sea."
I never knew that true love exists, I always get my heart shattered, people always leave and get tired of me. I only knew true love existed in fictions and movies. Every so often those couples I admired from afar that I thought would have a happily ever after ends up breaking up too, I’ve always thought that it’s too good to be true. But then, you came into my life. I was hopeless before you even knew my name. You made me realize that true love do exist. You gave me this feeling that I never felt towards someone else before. Ever since you came, there’s no one worth thinking about. I ended up believing in faith, destinies and fantasies about love, you made every love story written in this world all worth believing and you changed my point of view, it’s all because of you. True love is even though we’re far away from each other, our hearts knows that distance can’t rip us apart. True love is acceptance, I accept all your flaws, including your past and mistakes. All the things you hate about yourself but, I still find them beautiful. True love is patience, I am willing to wait with you, I’m willing to wait no matter how long it takes, even if it takes a lifetime because I know everything will be worth it in the end. True love is selfless, I will always put you first rather than myself just to make you happy, I will always choose what’s the best for you. True love is assurance, I trust you with all my heart; no doubts, uncertainty and suspicions. True love isn’t found, it’s built, our love will grow as time passes by; it will be stronger. True love isn’t easy, there will be ups & downs; there will be challenges & sufferings, I’m willing to face them all with you, I will never let go & I will always hold on. I never knew what they meant by true love until I met you. True love is rare and I found it with you.
—  S.L // A message #15

Ohhhh, here’s an idea.

Yuri, being the person he is, gets curious one day and, somehow, hacks into the Professor’s computer system and learns about the existence of other dimensions and dimensional counterparts(though Leo doesn’t have files on the specific counterparts themselves).

So he takes a trip to Standard.


Early season 1 Yuya is feeling down about the whole ‘someone else has Pendulums’ issue and goes for a walk by himself. 

He finds himself cornered by Yuri, who, since arriving, has caught a few of his duels on tv and has become /very/ interested in Yuya. He can tell Yuya is strong, but he’s holding himself back. And no counterpart of his is going to be that weak. ANd that Pendulum Summoning is promising.

They duel and Yuri wins easily enough, because Yuya is distracted and not fully invested in this duel. He doesn’t use Starve Venom though, that dragon is special, and the duel hardly worth bringing him out.

Yuri uses Yuya’s vulnerable state to plant the first seeds of doubt in him. Flashy and fun won’t win you duels, especially when your opponent isn’t taking you seriously. He uses Yuya’s self confidence issues to his advantage. Yuya doesn’t believe him, much, but the seeds have been planted and Yuri is patient.

Yuya can’t understand why this guy who looks like him has such faith in him, why he’s taken such a vested interest in him. And he certainly can’t understand why he vanishes when Yuzu came running to look for him(Yuri was not sent back to Fusion, but teleported across the city much to his immense confusion and annoyance).

They meet a few more times, though Yuya never learns where this new friend of his is from, and his qualification duels means they don’t see each other that often, though Yuri keeps an eye out for him.

The Yuto subplot happens pretty much the same, and Yuya ends up absorbing him.

After the Kachidoki duel he freaks out and runs off, running into Yuri. Now Yuri is positively enthralled with him, the power and ruthlessness he displayed was simply fascinating to him(and DR called out to SV, which excites him though he’s not sure why, even though the idea that all that power was wasted on an Xyz summon is disgusting to him).

But he can tell Yuya’s still holding back, Yuya refuses to embrace that power and darkness. So Yuri takes Yuya’s moment of weakness to pounce.

You tried duelling your way and look what happened, you almost lost. They were laughing at you, not with you. If you want to win you have to show them your real strength, no holding back. After all, isn’t that more entertaining? How can you smile when you’re being beaten while you’re down?

And the worst part is, he’s right. And Yuya hates it. He wants to cling to what he’s been taught, yet it seems like no one ever takes him seriously because of it. And the words stick in his mind.


By this point Yuri could give two shits about what Academia wants anymore, and will duel against them as easily as he would anyone else. In fact he has, several small groups were dispatched to bring him back, he defeated and carded them with ease. Yuya doesn’t know, though. Nor does he know about how Yuri later tracked down Kachidoki, both for shaming the name of Fusion users (’You lost to an Xyz? Pathetic’) and for his treatment of Yuya. it’s the last time Kachidoki’s ever seen.

Bringing back Selena and Yuzu is the least of his concern, in fact he’s unaware of her escape until Obelisk Force starts turning up during the tournament.

Yuya doesn’t see Sora’s initial return with Obelisk Force, or their carding of the Knights of Duels, he was with Yuri at the time, in a different part of the city, trying to decide what to do. Yuri wants him to just try it once, to not hold back, this is a tournament after all, you can’t afford to waste time trying to make your opponent smile.

Yuzu and Selena are captured by Obelisk Force and taken to Academia. Yuya is insistent on rescuing her. So Yuri obliges. Oh he doesn’t care about rescuing Yuzu, no, it’s Yuya he’s interested in. Yuya’s fired up, teeming with rage, and he wants to see what happens when it’s let loose. Yuya never has the duel with his mother, Yuri spiriting him off to Fusion before that.

With Yuya’s power, Yuri supposes he can let it slide that he keeps using Xyz’s(though he doe try to coax him into using the Fusion monsters he does have).

Duel Academia and Leo never knew what hit them.

Teen Wolf 6x02: Superposition

Previously on Teen Wolf, Stiles was “erased” by the Ghost Riders, meaning no one remembers he ever existed, ever. Even though Stiles isn’t there in flesh and blood, his presence lives on in the memory of the characters that remain. They are still thinking about him and hearing his voice, even if they don’t know it’s him. Stiles isn’t gone, for good. He’s just invisible, for now. He will be back, count on that. It’s just a matter of when and how. It’s not like he’s dead. He’s just somewhere else, in another world. He will be back. He’s a main character, he has to be. Give the show time. It’s only episode two.

For those wanting to see Dylan O’Brien’s face every week, he’s still in the opening credits!

When Stiles does return, he and Lydia WILL tell each other they love each other in a nice, cute, sweet, normal moment, without some impending doom or dark music.

Then the series finale, 18 episodes from now, will see them married, with children.

Until then, enjoy Lydia missing Stiles, realizing how she feels about him, and her keeping her promise to remember him.

Before Stiles was erased, he begged Lydia to remember him, to do whatever it took to remember him, and she’s keeping her promise, even if she doesn’t realize it. Her last moments with him, before the Ghost Riders took him, keep playing in her head like a broken record. She hears his last words on loop. His voice wakes her up, screaming, from a waking dream. (She hasn’t woken up screaming in years.) She visualizes being back outside the school with him. She gets so lost in her hallucinations, her memory of him, she almost walks into oncoming traffic! (Lydia would die for Stiles, pass it on.) The audio is there, the visuals too, but not the other person.

Lydia remembers Stiles and she doesn’t even know it. She spends all day looking for him, trying to find him at school, but she can’t. She doesn’t even know who she’s looking for. All she knows is someone’s missing.

She tells Scott, “I came to school this morning and I was sure I was supposed to meet someone, but I couldn’t remember who it was supposed to be. I have been looking for them all day. Whoever it is, I think I loved him.”

So close to figuring out who’s gone, she follows that feeling of love to Deacon, who has her use her Banshee powers to write down the name of the person who’s missing. Lydia, in a possessed/animalistic state, writes the letters S-T-I-L-E-S out of the word “mischief.” She reads what she wrote and, in a call back to season one, asks, “What the hell is a Stiles?”

Holland,

Why did Lydia write “mischief”?

& why is she hearing trains? Did the Ghost Riders take everyone, including Stiles, to a train station?

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this is a PSA:

disability porn is real. by that i mean writers using a disability to stimulate tragedy in the lives of characters. frequently this is through acquiring a disability, though it may be one that already exists. 

please stop doing this. disability can be an enormously complicated state of existence, especially in our ableist culture, but what it is not is a tragedy. disability is also contextual, some d/Deaf, autistic and many other disabled people do not actually consider themselves disabled, and for good reason. 

why? you might ask. IF YOU CANNOT ANSWER THAT QUESTION YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS WRITING FIC ABOUT DISABLED CHARACTERS.

if you are going to write fic about disability, make headcanons about it, or anything else, you need to be prepared to do research. weeks of it, if you’re writing a fic. you need to reach out to people who have the disability you want to write about and see if you’ve gotten it right. 

disability porn is not representation. in fact, i’d argue it’s the opposite. stop writing it. 

{Zero Escape} Character Aesthetics - Akane Kurashiki

Perhaps humans are the same, with our minds and thoughts existing separate from our bodies. Our “core” is in our head, of course. We all have individual brains, think individual thoughts, and act according to individual wills. That makes communication difficult, though. So, we’re forced to rely on inefficient mediums like language, photographs, non-verbal cues, etc, to transmit information. Each one of us is an individual, and we have no direct connection to anyone else. But… is that really true? In the dimensions we are most familiar with, yes, it is. If we look at things from another, higher dimension, however… We may all be connected after all. Like the branches of a tree… Or a rhizome…

Kuroo Headcanons
  • Kuroo seems like the kind of guy who would be the best for going on a road trip with because he would keep the driving friend awake with random conversation or hardcore rock
  • But he also has a soft spot for bubblegum pop
  • He jokes around a lot but he’s also the type of person to have super meaningful conversations with those close to him
  • That doesn’t mean that he’s always talking though; while he enjoys conversing with those around him, he also appreciates silence and those silences are rarely awkward
  • Like one minute both (probably Bokuto who else would agree) have chopsticks in their noses and are imitating that one scene from Mulan and the next they’re discussing beliefs/disbeliefs about greater deities and if there’s life after death and what the point of existing is in such a huge universe
  • We know that he is a nerd in canon but not only is he book smart, he’s also super resourceful
  • But he’s also a nerd nerd so he’s your go to guy for help in chemistry or physics or any other complicated science
  • He’s also great at math, and he’s the unselfish kind of great because he’ll help anyone
  • He’s that really smart chill kid that’s only ever really loud around his friends/teammates
  • Honestly he’s probably one of the most respectful people ever
  • Whenever he goes to any of his friends’ house their mom love him because he is the sweetest kid and everyone wants their sons to be like Kuroo
  • Kuroo doesn’t really have that many friends outside of volleyball but he tries to create meaningful relationships versus many
  • He’s all about quality not quantity in everything
  • He’s also a perfectionist which is one of the things he struggles with the most because he tries his best in both school and volleyball and balancing those two isn’t the easiest thing to do
  • Even though finding balance is hard he rarely complains because he doesn’t want to burden anyone, which is why he’s such a great captain
  • Kuroo prefers to stay home versus going out but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy going out occasionally
  • He’d just rather hang out and play videogames with a friend, usually that friend is Kenma
  • Kuroo is truly a great kid and he’s the biggest nerd please love him with me

anonymous asked:

talking about disgusting scott/posey stans and their pro-scott anti-everyone else propaganda, does anyone know tumblr user shitpostingsterek? cause there are some scott/posey stans and sterek haters who reblog her edits and purposely erase sterek from the tags to make it about their fave scatt mccall, even though the author made it clear that they are all sterek works. they deserve to know someone is shitting on their work

They know, which is why they keep making awesome sterek edits. She’s the one where those two Scott stans made it about scerek and the fandom collectively rolled their eyes and forgot they existed.

I'll never stop

I’ll never stop loving you,
I’ll never stop caring about you,
I’ll never stop wanting you,
I’ll never stop…and that’s the worst part.

I know you don’t love me like that
I know that “we” are impossible
I know, I know, I know the truth-
But it’s so hard to accept.

It’s hard to accept that one day you’ll walk down the aisle with someone that isn’t me.

You would think that after all this time,
I would have moved on, but here I am.
I don’t think I’ll ever fully let go.
Cause I’ll always love you; even though you have broken my heart more than anyone else.

I didn’t you tell I loved you until it too late and here am praying to the gods-
That maybe i am wrong,
That maybe there is still hope,
That maybe, just maybe “we” could exist.

Just know…I’ll never stop.

The new upd8 was hella nice, but this slide in particular bothered me a lot when I stopped to think about it

Like, we always knew that people in doomed timelines went to the dreambubbles, right? But these ones are not doomed selves, these are versions of characters who didn’t die in that moment: that John is the one who ascended, those Rose and Roxy were the one who revived when their dreamself were kissed, and so on. 

This means that these people died even though an exact “clone” of them, of their personality and memories until that point, lived on somewhere else - the John that was stabbed on his questbed didn’t survive through ascension, he died and a copy of him went on.

This is some creepy The Prestige level shit, these people got robbed of their existence and their copies are not even aware of it

Daaaaaaaaaamn