as is this show

I just finished my final semester’s presentation in front of real clients!

So our semester was basically just doing job shadowing for 11 weeks until the presentation.

Being the youngest in the class and so little experience was exhausting, but I’ve learned so much in just the intense 11 weeks!

I can finallyRELAX.

anonymous asked:

Okay but have we discussed Adrian and Maggie walking into their apartment and Alex is in a bad place and it's the first time Adrian has seen her that way and Maggie is amazing with her because when is she not?! And Ade realises how healthy communication works and please may you write this it would mean the world?

She forgot Adrian’s coming over tonight.

Forgot because she’s desperate for the bottom of a bottle but Maggie doesn’t keep alcohol in her apartment anymore, and Maggie believes in her, and Kara believes in her, Kara, Kara, Kara.

Kara, who’s on a fact-finding mission with J’onn at the Fortress of Solitude.

So instead of being face-down in a bottle, Alex is face down on Maggie’s couch, just sprawled.

Sprawled and utterly depressed and utterly unable to move.

Almost unable to breathe.

Waiting for Maggie to come home.

Waiting to be able to breathe again.

Her heart leaps – but it feels distant from her body, like she’s hovering over herself, watching herself, not really feeling anything except numb pain, numb agony, numb restlessness and worthlessness – when she hears rustling in the hallway outside.

Maggie.

But she panics because a voice rises alongside Maggie’s footsteps, and Alex remembers.

Remembers that Adrian’s coming over for dinner tonight, that she was supposed to tutor him in physics again tonight, that she was supposed to be put together, on top of things, efficient, Stanford-grad, smart, collected.

Not sprawled face down on the couch, unable to move because the gravity of her pain is stronger than the gravity of the sun.

She scrambles and she jolts and she tries to arrange her body, her face, her brain, into a space that fits the laughter she hears as Maggie’s key scrapes into the lock.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t even like that, Maggie – “

“Oh sure it wasn’t Ade, because you didn’t have a crush on that girl at all – “

“Oh.”

“What – oh. Oh. Alex – “

“Hi guys! Sorry, I forgot to start dinner, I just got home and – “

The laughter freezes on Adrian’s face as he turns to Maggie, because Alex’s eyes are wild, her voice is strained, her body is tense. Her body is about to break.

“Alex, hey, it’s fine. It’s fine, sit… sit down, come on.”

“No, Maggie, everything’s fine, hi Adrian, let’s – “

“Alex.”

“Maggie.”

“Alex. You don’t have to… you don’t have to perform for me.”

“Yeah, Alex, I can leave, you’re allowed to take care of yourself, it’s cool – “

“No, Adrian, I promised I’d tutor you, I – “ Alex’s voice cracks and her knees give because sometimes, sometimes, people being understanding, being caring, is the thing that breaks her hardest.

Because, aside from Kara, it’s the thing she’s been least used to in her life, and now it just surrounds her and she…

She’s in Maggie’s arms and Maggie is cradling her head into her chest and she’s kissing her hair and she’s whispering that it’s okay, it’s okay, come sit down, babygirl, I’ve got you, I’m here, it’s okay, and Adrian is bringing her a glass of water and sitting quietly on the floor because Alex grabs at his sleeve when he tries to leave, so he waits with water in hand and he stares down at the floor and he’s never seen Alex anything but perfectly composed before.

“Did something happen, sweetie?” Maggie’s asking her gently, lifting her chin gently so their eyes meet, and Adrian lifts his own head to watch, because he knows depression, he knows anxiety, he knows breakdowns, but he’s never known a romantic partner to hold it so beautifully, so patiently, so lovingly, before.

Alex shakes her head and her bottom lip wobbles and Maggie nods and draws Alex’s head back into her chest.

“That’s okay, Al. There doesn’t always have to be a reason. It’s okay. I promise you it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex gasps. “Adrian, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to – “

“Al,” Maggie interrupts her softly, carefully, lovingly. “Adrian cares about you. Just like I do. I mean, not exactly like I do, don’t get any ideas, kid, she’s my woman.” Adrian grins and even Alex laughs softly. “He cares about you, and you’re important. You’re important, and you deserve an evening of us taking care of you, if that’s what you need.”

“Yeah. Fuck physics. We can watch sci fi all night – that counts as physics, right?”

Alex turns her face to rest on Maggie’s shoulder and looks down at Adrian, accepting the water glass he holds out to her with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry, Adrian, you just caught me at a… bad time.”

“Hey, I… it’s like Maggie said. I care about you, and…” He looks at Maggie, and she nods softly at him, love shining in her eyes. “And I get it. That whole depression, can’t get up, can’t breathe, but shit other people are here so I have to act natural thing. It’s so hard. But it’s like Maggie said, I don’t want you to have to act around me. If you’re comfortable. You can just be sad. That’s okay. If you like blankets and Netflix and food, I know where Maggie keeps her softest blankets and you can pick the show and I’ll make you both the best dinner you’ve ever had. And if you want me to leave so you can be alone, or alone with Maggie, I can do that too. But if you want me to stay, I… it’s okay if you’re just sad. You’re allowed to be sad. We’re here for you. Whatever you need. Right Maggie?”

And Maggie’s crying now, because how did she get this lucky? She reaches down for his face and pulls him close to her and kisses his cheek for a long, long moment.

“So spiky,” she mumbles when she pulls back, and he grins proudly and sits up straighter. “My little boy becoming a man. And he’s right, Alex. Everything he said. He’s absolutely right.”

Alex smiles through drying tears watching them, her breathing coming slightly easier now.

Gravity, agony, numbed pain that feels like it might never end is still tugging at her, but now? Now it can tug all it wants, and she doesn’t have to hold herself up, because her girlfriend and their might-as-well-be-son and the texts she hears pouring in from her sister?

They’ll keep her steady. They’ll keep her safe.

They’ll keep her loved.

I TRIED

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