Left at the altar but never unloved
I know you might hate me for this if
you are still around, but I’m going to change your prompt a little
and only write for Saeran and make it a ficlet instead. I think the
whole prompt just fits him the best with the flowers – since he
knows the language – the silent pining for MC and the revenge!
I really hope you still enjoy it, even if it’s just Saeran :3
Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Rating: Teen and Up
Warnings: A tiny bit of smut at the end but not really
Relationships: MC x Saeran
Word count: 2225
Falling in love had never been something Saeran had considered for himself. In fact, his entire life had been a row of events proving him over and over that he was entirely undeserving of it. Not just being loved, he’d never known what that even felt like, but the notion of falling in love.
Falling in love was something for good and pure people to experience. He was neither. Tainted by his dark past and filled with rage and hate for the world and himself, Saeran didn’t dare hope that he’d ever get to experience such a feeling.
When the pain of loneliness threatened to crush him, he convinced himself that he loved Rika. The symptoms were there – at least from what he read in books – and when he was with her, he didn’t feel like he was drowning within himself. Of course he loved her. Or so he thought.
The moment you stepped into his life, Saeran realized just how wrong he’d been in that assumption. It had taken him years to so much as warm up to Rika and yet all it took you was your sweet, sincere smile and those heartfelt words he felt burn into his chest.
Loving you made him forget what it felt
like to hate himself. It made his steps a little lighter and his
laughter a little brighter. The center of his entire world shifted
onto you and he would have done anything, anything at all, to
be make you happy.
That is how Saeran learned the difference
between devotion and love. He would have followed Rika’s last
command, going as far as to read it from her lips. He would have died
for her without thinking twice about it. For you he wanted to live.
What Saeran hadn’t anticipated, however, was just how all consuming love could turn out to be. All his life he’d mocked V for his blind devotion to Rika, his pathetic attempts to return to her when she’d shunned him in every way humanly imaginable.
It wasn’t until you announced your engagement to another man that he grew to respect V. It felt like his entire world had shattered to pieces, all purpose ripped from him. How V had managed to survive that feeling remained a mystery to Saeran.
It was nothing short of a miracle that he was capable of doing the same. Dreaming about seeing you in a wedding dress, overjoyed to begin a new chapter of your life – even if it was with a man other than him – was his saving grace as much as it was his downfall.
The year leading up to the wedding passed by in a blur. While Saeran was present for most of the important decisions and planning none of them really registered in his mind, not with him around. It felt too much like one of his nightmares he was still waiting to wake from.
The worst part was, he hated no one more than himself. Not even the groom to be. He was charming, handsome and well off. The man could offer you all those things Saeran couldn’t. He’d never been good enough for and it was his own fault for allowing hope to bubble within him.
It wasn’t until he saw you in your wedding dress for the first time, mere hours before the ceremony, that reality sunk in and Saeran felt like he was drowning once more. You were the most beautiful creature he’d even laid his eyes upon and he was giving you away to another man.
Saeran had never wanted to die as much as he’d wished for it in that moment. Until you turned to him, cheeks heated and lip worried between your teeth, shyly asking him whether you looked good or not. Despite how nervous you must have felt you were radiating joy.
The murmured of the guests waiting for the wedding to begin could be heard. You rested your delicate hand on Saeran’s arm, ready to walk down that aisle and marry the man you thought to be the love of your life. For a few short moments, all was good.
All was good…until Zen came rushing
in surprising the both of you. Saeran noticed the strange look in his
eyes long before he was the flowers and that disgusting note he would
have loved to have burned to ashes right then and there.
had always thought he’d experienced all the pain there was to
experience in the world. He’d felt it all, had his entire world
shattered and every hope destroyed. He was wrong. Seeing your
world shattered hurt a million times more.
Your fiancé had decided to leave you and on your wedding day at that. He’d send a bouquet of black roses and short, painful note explaining that he’d run away with another woman. Saeran promised himself that he’d make the dramatic asshole pay.
The events that followed once again turned into a blur, but for entirely different reasons. Saeran made sure that everything happened fast, trying not to draw it out and thereby minimize your pain. Well, minimize it as much as he could in the face of such tragedy.
He told Zen to inform the RFA. Jumin informed the guests and Jaehee escorted them out. Yoosung, Saeyoung and V cleaned everything up and Saeran somehow managed to get you home safely, staying by your side throughout the entire night.
The worst part was how little you cried. It would have killed him to see you cry but he would have gladly comforted you for however long it took you to smile again. You holding back and feeling numb was something he wasn’t equipped for.
You changed after that day. Your steps
became heavier and your smiles dimmed. It was like someone had turned
out the bright light that had shone within you. Saeran didn’t know
how to turn it back on, but he knew how to make that person pay.
And making him pay Saeran did…in every way non-physical and
provable. Technically he could have tortured the asshole, he still
had all the means to it, but Saeran knew that deep in your heart you
still cared for the man and wouldn’t appreciate it.
Instead he opted for ruining his business by leaking the right information to the right people. Saeran also seduced the little wench the man had taken off with, effectively taking her from him as well and then made sure that his fortune was given to less fortunate people.
He took everything from the man and it still didn’t feel like it was enough. Not when you hadn’t logged into the messenger in a month. Not when you barely ate anymore. Not when your smile didn’t reach your eyes anymore. Not when you were still so broken…
He realized, that revenge wasn’t the answer. Not for you, at least. You weren’t Rika. You were good and pure and deserved all the love in the world to make up for everything that scumbag had taken from you. Saeran understood then, that it was time to return the favour.
He visited you every day from that moment on. He made sure that you ate at least two full meals, three if he managed to convince you. He sat beside you as you stared at the wall for hours, expression blank. He hugged you tight when you started to cry eventually.
He brushed your hair when you couldn’t motivate yourself. He helped you clean when you finally suggested it to him. He tugged you in every night and woke you up when the nightmares came. He became the anchor you’d once been to him.
A couple of weeks passed like that and step by step you started to open up again like a flower after a storm. Your nightmares ebbed away and the tears didn’t last anymore. You started to sing in the shower again and eat three meals you made yourself.
Saeran felt so happy his chest could have burst. Seeing you laugh at a joke he’d made after such a long time of sorrow would be a memory he would cherish for the rest of his mortal life and maybe even beyond. Making you happy was truly his calling.
However with joy often came sadness and while Saeran knew such thoughts were selfish, he was disappointed to note that you no longer needed his help. You were finally strong enough again to stand by yourself and he would only be dragging you down.
What he didn’t expect was to find you standing in front of his door a week later, wet to the bone from the horrible rain. You were shaking, skin almost sickly pale. He instantly rushed you in and wrapped a thick blanket around you before getting a towel to dry your hair himself.
You sat there silently, eyes wide as you looked at him as if you were seeing him for the very first time. It was a strange feeling, being stared at like that. Saeran’s hands slowed before coming to a stop still resting on each side of your head with the towel hanging down your face.
“It’s you”, you whispered, slowly reaching out. You carefully cupped his face, thumbs brushing over the soft skin of Saeran’s cheek. You watched in awe as his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into your touch like he was starving for it. It broke your heart.
“The entire time you were right before my eyes and yet I didn’t see you at all”, you continued. “I’m so sorry, Saeran. So, so sorry.” His eyes flew open, surprise written all over his face. He shook his head, turning it so he could press a kiss to your head.
“No, it’s my fault”, he replied, instantly continuing when he saw you were about to protest. “I loved you from the moment you smiled at me for the first time but I was too scared and broken to tell you as much. Well now you’ve fixed me and I am no longer scared.”
Your eyes locked for a long moment, searching for a reason to stop. When neither of you found one Saeran finally closed the distance between the two of you. Your lips met in an agonizingly slow kiss, the sweetest torture Saeran had ever experienced.
Both of you were tentative, slowly allowing yourself to explore each others mouths. You could feel Saeran’s tongue trace your lips and you gladly parted them, inviting him to deepen the kiss. He happily obliged, claiming your mouth in the most gentle of manners.
You could tell he was holding back, almost as if he was scared you would push him away. You did quite the opposite, burying your hands in his hand as you climbed into his lap. You’d doubted many things in your life but not this. Never this.
The two of you kissed for a long time, bodies grinding against one another as arousal began to rise within you. You could feel the beginning of an erection poking against your long wet sex, a low moan falling from your lips only to be swallowed by his.
He stopped the kiss then, only for the briefest of moment, before lifting you up and carrying you to his bedroom. There he put you down on the bed, spreading you out like a piece of art. He hovered over you, devouring you with his hungry eyes.
Never had a man aroused you as much simply by looking at you. Luckily, Saeran wasn’t done. Instead he undressed you, taking his time and admiring every bare inch of you that was revealing to him. He did not take as much time shedding his own clothes.
That night, Saeran took you apart. With his eyes. With his words. With his mouth and his body. He claimed you as his, whispering all the things into your ear he’d never dared to say before. He took you apart, worshipping every inch of you until both of you found your final release.
Hours later he was lying awake as he watched you sleep peacefully, Saeran was utterly blissful. He didn’t want to sleep, no matter how sated his body and heavy his lids might have been for reality had finally turned out to be better than even his wildest dreams.
It was during those tranquil hours of
the night that Saeran realized another thing about love: It is
dangerous. It makes you vulnerable. It opens your heart and your
chest, allowing someone to march in and mess you up.
the person is right, the reward will be worth all the pain you might
have endured beforehand. For every time you felt like you were
drowning you will feel like you are soaring. If the person is right,
you’ll learn what it truly feels like to love and live.