I hate to know that the only way for me to see you smile is to pretend that we’re just lovely friends who don’t feel anymore than our friendship. That I wasn’t someone who could give you and make you feel everything you ever wanted. It’s the fact that I was a single star hoping for you to notice—among the brightest ones in your galaxy. That we wouldn’t be able to create one single spark once we collide. It’s not sad knowing—that the only way for me to love you—is to let you go—to stay away from you. And for me to feel this thing freely I need to be out of your sight. It’s not sad. It is something that was more than that. It was something that made me search for words that weren’t enough.
A little context - i am part of a group of a Goliath, an elf, a dwarf and a half elf (me). I tended to keep everyone in check, as I’ve played with this group of people before and they’ve done some rather….odd things. I left for about 5 minutes to search the rest of a war camp for survivors.
DM: After Liberating the prisoners of the war camp, Goliath, you start to look through everything, see what missing and forgotten possessions you can find, you find some things of value but the very last thing you find is a small bundle of cloth, you go to leave it but then it starts kicking and crying
Goliath: (Without a second of hesitation) I’ve always wanted to be a dad
Dwarf: Look. Buddy. I’m all about finders keepers when it comes to loot, i really am. but you can’t keep the child.
Dwarf: we’re planning on fighting a dragon in a few weeks! you really think we can keep a baby? it’s parents are probably right here.
Goliath: Fine. I hold the baby up lion king style and yell “DOES THIS BELONG TO ANYONE?!”
DM: Everyone immediately looks to you as you shout, holding this baby which now up close looks to be a half orc child. As everyone looks, nobody owns up to the child belonging to them.
Elf: Looks like you get to have your dream to being a dad after all
dwarf: don’t encourage this!
The Goliath not only kept the baby, but it’s a re-occurring character in our story, the Goliath learnt to write so that he’d be able to write is half orc daughter letters from where ever we go, when we’re out adventuring it stays with the Goliath best friend, a halfling and her gnome girlfriend.
<b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>sirius:</b> remus<p/><b>sirius:</b> hey, remus<p/><b>sirius:</b> have you ever noticed that dog spelled backwards is god?<p/></p><b>sirius:</b> do you reckon that means something?<p/><b>remus:</b> i don’t know sirius but if you keep me from sleeping any longer you'll be able to ask god in person very soon<p/><b>sirius:</b> really? how come??<p/><b>remus:</b> because I'll bloody murder you<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
ok so, usually even for my big pieces, i tend to only spend about 4-5 hours on them, BUT GODDAMN I’ve spent like….15+ hours on this?? I’m exhausted. I feel like it really paid off though???? I mean I’m really happy with it. I’m also trying to be more art positive, so I’m forcing myself to like it (ง'̀-‘́)ง
you don’t know what you did to me.
you think that you left and that i’ll be okay eventually.
but that’s not true.
i look for you in every man i meet.
i always check if their hand fits in mine as yours did and if it feels as sweet around my neck as yours.
i always wait for them to tell me how much they love my laugh and how adorable they find it.
they never do.
i kiss them just to find out if my heart beats faster and my knees get weak just as they did with you.
that doesn’t happen.
so, do you see what you really did to me?
you spoiled me for every other man because all i’ll ever be able to think about is you.
i’ll be with another man and i’ll think about you.
it’s always going to be you.
i. I know I told you this, but I haven’t heard from you in a while and I just wanted to remind you that I left the ball in your court. That I will sacrifice my happiness and give you another chance, all you have to do is reach out and tell me you don't want to throw this friendship away.
ii. So by the looks of it you are having a lot of fun with your new friends, don’t get me wrong I’m happy you found happiness. But I just want to make sure that this isn’t you escaping your past and letting these new friends be a band-aid for old wounds. I am here if you ever want to talk.
iii. I miss you. I can’t believe this happened again, that after reconnecting you chose to put me second again. You hurt me more than I thought. And I know I told you that you were hurting me, and you said you were sorry; but are you?
iv. Do you miss me? Or have you replaced me enough to forget me? Because I worry about you every day, your state of mind and if you’re being kind to yourself. But when I picture how you’re spending your day, I can't imagine you missing me.
v. I am no stranger to the notion of people leaving me. I have been told ‘forever’ only for 'forever’ to expire later on. This isn’t new for me, missing people is almost routine for me. But you linger more than others. You creep up on me.
vi. I thought I would be able to move on, because you hurt me so bad. But turns out you too are a bad addiction of mine that I just can’t shake.
Texts I would text you if I ever got drunk enough and brave enough.
My heart is pounding as you walk towards me, you gently slid your fingers betwe mine, we binded so perfectly together. My heart races out of control as you pressed your lips against mine, so delicately. That was your way of telling me not to worry anymore, you’re real, you’re here and you won’t ever abandon me, I’m safe, I’m home.
Tenari Ioapo // Dear Handsome
Words will never be able to describe the way I felt when I saw you for the first time and how incredibly lucky I feel to call you mine.
I’ve learned that life is a tidal wave. Sometimes it flows and carries you smoothly, but other times it comes crashing down on you so hard and fast that you’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to make it up for air. And sometimes it’s just still. And there’s nothing you can do about it besides letting it take you and hope that you’ll come to the surface and be at peace in the end.
Remember where you were the day Lairport happened?
Remember where you were when Louis went to Barcelona and Harry showed up with a Barcelona coin bracelet? Or when Harry took fan pics at Selfridges and Louis showed up with a new shirt from Selfridges the very next day?
Remember when RBB made his glorious return and how we’d wait for pictures of him and SBB before every show?
Remember when Liam started reading all of the signs that were obviously Larrie signs, when they’d show the ones with rainbows on the big screen?
Remember when Harry started running with rainbow flags, and how proud of him Louis was? Remember how respectful Niall was of our flag when someone threw one on stage?
Remember when they first sang No Control to a sold out stadium and the crowd erupted like a volcano and the whole stadium shook because everyone was losing their minds, including the boys, with how happy we all were?
Remember when they first sang Eighteen and how Harry and Louis couldn’t stop turning to look at each other?
Remember the fan book in Sweden that said “only turn the page if the following statement is true: Larry is real” and Liam opened it and the looks Harry and Louis gave each other?
Remember Wheel Larrow? And when they did it again onstage during a show and Louis let Harry win like he always does?
Remember where you were the night they hugged each other on stage for the world to see, and the arena erupted into frantic screams of joy at seeing these two boys being able to publicly embrace again?
Remember what it’s like to be a Larrie? And to believe in the love between two boys who met when they were sixteen and eighteen and fell in love and have been fighting side by side ever since?
And I wish you could. For my sake and for yours, I wish you could. But you can’t. You can’t kiss his previous lover off of him or love her out of him. And I’m sorry because I really wish you could. I wish you could erase every last damn trace, but you can’t. And maybe that’s okay though because maybe that means his next lover won’t ever be able to erase you either. You’re permanent.
Note that when Maui talks about his abandonment, his voice is very controlled. A forced sort of controlled, the kind of slow speech someone trying not to cry would use. Specifically "did not" rather than "didn't". Just thought you'd be interested in that. :)
oh my god you’re totally right though
and not only is his speech very forcefully controlled but he’s also talking in a very carefully controlled volume and tone too like if he spoke any louder his voice would start cracking/breaking?
I’m also going back and watching it and right at that line you mentioned, he does something else, too. Right when he’s saying “and they decided-” he kind of pauses and makes this little sound right on “decided” that I had for the longest time thought was him kind of laughing at himself like some people do when they’re upset, but now that you mention that it almost sounds more like he’s….choking up at the words?
this is. this is the most upsetting concept I’ve ever heard though because Maui is overall really collected and can kind of hide his emotions well and the fact that this is the thing that kind of makes him drop that collectedness or the kind of thing that can make him cry? That’s illegal. You stop that.