as if i had just learned the truth

Evermore is the most gorgeous song that rips your heart out and makes you feel all the FEELS!!

- Josh Groban’s version is absolutely wonderful 

- I literally can’t comprehend how he stole an angels voice and made it even better 

- You can really appreciate the depth and strength of his voice like damn 

- I get Phantom of the Opera vibes and can totally see the song in both 

- Thank you my enchanting siren 

BUT HEAR DAN STEVENS VERSION WITNESS OUR BEAST SING 

- This one literally makes me clench my heart in pain 

- At the end of the song I’m on the verge of tears 

- You can truly feel how much she has affected him and he can never let her go inside his heart 

- But he does because he is selfless as fuck and wants her happiness before anyone’s 

- It just has so much emotion especially the last lyrics like I’m bawling just writing this 

- Forever in love with you my Beauty 

- READ THESE DAMN LYRICS AND LISTEN TO THE SONG SO YOU CAN FEEL YOUR HEART BREAK!  

I was the one who had it all
I was the master of my fate
I never needed anybody in my life
I learned the truth too late


I’ll never shake away the pain
I close my eyes but she’s still there
I let her steal into my melancholy heart
It’s more than I can bear


Now I know she’ll never leave me
Even as she runs away
She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me
Move me, come what may


Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in
And be with me for evermore


I rage against the trials of love
I curse the fading of the light
Though she’s already flown so far beyond my reach
She’s never out of sight


Now I know she’ll never leave me
Even as she fades from view
She will still inpire me, be a part of
Everything I do


Wasting in my lonely tower
Waiting by an open door
I’ll fool myself she’ll walk right in

And as the long, long nights begin
I’ll think of all that might have been
Waiting here for evermore!

Originally posted by partofyourtaleasoldastime

Originally posted by poissonxquad

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: I was the one who had it all. I was the master of my fate. I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth too late. I'll never shake away the pain.
  • I close my eyes but she's still there. I let her steal into my melancholy heart. It's more than I can bear. Now I know she'll never leave me. Even as she runs away. She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me. Move me, come what may.
  • Wasting in my lonely tower. Waiting by an open door. I'll fool myself she'll walk right in. And be with me for evermore.
I learned more about love in those few months than I leaned on my entire life. Not the kind of love you have for your family, your friends, the people you look up to. The kind of love that makes you go “oh, i kind of want to spend my whole life with you”. I also learned the hard way what “heart pain” is. Most of the days were fine, even great I would say, it was good to feel everything, it was good to feel a love I never felt before, it was good to have someone. But truth is I never had her, she was never mine but I was hers. Oh I was truly hers, I gave her every piece of me and I would give her more if I could. I learned that that’s a funny thing about love, you give, you give everything, you give everything until you are left with nothing. The day I realized she was being happy with someone and doing just fine without me, that was the day it hurt and from that day on I could only hear my heart breaking and breaking every time. This is a part people don’t often tell you. Sometimes your heart is not gonna get broken at once, it’s not gonna be fast, it’s not gonna be easily over. Sometimes your heart will slowly get broken, you will start to know what words you want to avoid to not listen to your heart cracking one more piece. And sometimes, sometimes even when you know all of that, even when you know this is bringing you pain and this is slowly breaking you, you won’t leave, you will choose to stay. What a weird thing humans do, we stay and we let ourselves get hurt. Sometimes we choose love.
—  G.P.
Oh, you had me living a lie for a year? Maybe I'll just go ahead and dismantle every aspect of your life.

Well I was had! I been took! I been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok!

This is a trailer trash roller coaster. All aboard!

The Lies

I thought I was in a slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship for a year. I had gotten out of a 12 year relationship when I met Fuckboi, he was so charming and handsome I thought I won the lottery! He was super pushy about saying “I love you” first and defining our relationship. He introduced me to his family. His niece started calling me Auntie. He tells me about his 3 children and their mothers and lies about how the mother of his oldest hates him and is keeping him away from the kid.

But then things started getting weird. His “ex” started calling all the fucking time, multiple times a day. They had children together, but the grandmother had custody the lie I was told to make it seem normal was that both of them had jobs where they traveled a lot, so they signed legal guardianship over to the g-ma to make schooling & emergency issue easier. Then she moved down to the city we were loving in for “work training”. Then she was moving down permanently without the kids. When I asked why the kids weren’t coming, the lie I was told they need to stay in the same school Um, they are 6 and 4 I’d say staying with parents is more important at that age than their peer group. It was weird, but I’m the cool girlfriend and it wasn’t my place to tell them where their daughters should live.

His “work” was in the cannabis industry, kind of. He worked with the “ex” brother in law going to legal states, buying pounds at a time and trafficking it via USPS. So, when he tells me he’s going to Oregon I think nothing of it.

After a week in Oregon, a lot of stories aren’t adding up, like his phone is always dead even though he carries a power bank with him. THEN one of his “friends” starts posting cuddled up selfies with him. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and dump him for cheating on me with this chick in Oregon.

The Truth

After I dumped him I made a messy facebook post on his wall, which the mother of his oldest child sees and she contacts me and lays out the truth!

He never contacts his oldest daughter, even though he has her cellphone. No one is keeping him from her.

  • He owes $20k in back child support for her, as he has never once made a payment and he moves around a lot & works under the table, so the mother was never able to collect garnishments or anything.
  • He has a huge criminal record starting with rape he committed at age 15, and then a lifetime of fraud, larceny and drug charges I knew nothing about!
  • His “ex” who moved to our city was his girlfriend of 9 years who was very much still in a relationship with him
  • They willingly gave up the 2 children because they preferred to use drugs; him - heroin, her - pills
  • There is a FOURTH child!?!?!?! He and the mother conspired to pin the paternity on another poor sap and it’s been 17 years now that this other man has been paying for a kid that is not his
  • I was his side chick
  • His family knew and played along in the lie and included their 10 and 16 year old children in the lie!
  • His chick in Oregon is actually his starcrossed lover from childhood! And every time they would try to be together one or the other would end up in jail!
  • The Oregon chick ALSO has a criminal record highlights include criminally negligent homicide from a DUI where she killed her passenger, fraud, larceny, drug charges

This shocked me, so I paid for a criminal background check which is how I learned of their records.

The Revenge

I PROFUSELY thanked the ex for telling me the truth about the situation. I mulled on it for a bit trying to convince myself to simply consider myself lucky and just walk away with my dignity intact. But then he’d be winning and I knew I had everything in my power to come down on him like Thor’s hammer.

  • I gave the ex ALL of his info - SSN, State ID#s, current and past known addresses. With this she contacted her state’s Child Support Services.
  • He now will have his Drivers license revoked and can’t get one no matter the state he moves to until he is current with his past payments.
  • If he ever gets a real job 25% of his wages will be garnished
  • He now has a warrant for his arrest in the state his oldest kid lives.
  • He’s trying to play house with his new GF and contacted the mother of his oldest to arrange a meeting with his kid and his gf’s child. The mother is “playing nice” and pretending it’s a-go and he is planing a trip to visit the daughter. He will not see her, at the “meeting” he will be seeing the police and they will arrest him for failure to pay, and he won’t get out of jail until he pays a sizable chunk of the $20,000 past-due PLUS bail!
  • I gave the ex his info THE DAY BEFORE his federal tax refund was set to go out, She was fast enough at getting his info to CSS that they INTERCEPTED his full tax refund and now he has for the first time paid for something for his child.
  • His past due child support is also going on his credit report
  • I know the name of the business his ex brother in law owns and uses to launder his drug trafficking money, I dropped a dime to the IRS. So, he’s losing his only steady income soon and can’t get a job a Walmart due to his criminal record, and if he DOES manage to find someone that hires without criminal background checks he will lose ¼ of his paycheck.
  • I told this story to two of my “hacker” friends and they got into contact with hackers more talented than themselves and are now going to “take care of” a few more things for me, like finding the guy who was conned into paying for a kid that’s not his.

heres a thing i hadnt noticed till just now. we all know this bit

(buchanstan)

he lies about remembering Steve, and its clear why. the blink thats almost a twitch. that  hard swallow. the way he looks up after he says it, like he’s both terrified he wont believe him, and bracing himself .

in WS, he asked outright who he was, and admitted to remembered. because he had no idea what happened when he did. which is altogether just one more horrific thing Hydra did, they took the memories of them hurting him when he asked, he couldnt learn to lie to protect himself; he didnt know he needed to be protected.

but here he is, remembering things…like what had to be dozens of times he remembered something, Steve probably most of all, and finally saw the full scope of what was done to him. what happened when he said he remembered Steve.

that there, i dont think he was lying to Steve, i think he was asked a question where the honest answer got him tortured. now he’s gotten the chance to learn how to protect himself. i think this was just so terrified being asked that, he answered instinctively.

itd be the case fo ra lot of things. like say, the truth=torture. the Hydra base=torture.and captivity. i would think being threatened with pain or death, in that place, would be just as terrifying for him

(n-barnes)

and wouldnt ya know, theres the hard swallow, the twitch-blink. the only major difference is in the second one, when he blinks, his whole body shudders..as id imagine it would being threatened in that place.

on an unrelated note, i always found it interesting that, while terrified of being hurt, especially there, and being threatened…he lowers the gun

SHOOT Reunion Panel

Sarah and Amy had lunch together a couple weeks ago - they are good friends and they have a lot in common so keeping in touch is fun.

Sarah’s favorite things about Shaw: her eating food with knives.
She also says Shaw’s foreplay would have been cutting each other and punching each other and biting.
Shaw was masculine and always equal to the boys - never portrayed otherwise. That was her most favorite part - how tough and violent.

Amy’s favorite part about Root? “I think Sarah should answer.”
Amy loved getting to flirt with and annoy Shaw, because Sarah is good at portraying the anger. “But I knew she loved me.”
“Both the characters kind of ran things - the girls in charge” - Amy on Shoot

Sarah’s fave ep was 6741!
Sarah took the role because it went to dark places you don’t get to go to on TV.
Sarah’s fave scene: end of 6741 by the carousel! It was very challenging but will always be the 1st thing she thinks of when thinking of POI
Sarah says “I only look good because Amy makes me look good.”

Amy says she liked the part (in 6741) “was when Sarah was biting me”
Amy says she loves their first meeting - the iron and all the sexual tension.
“Was this relationship always meant to happen?” Sarah: (shouting) YES! F**K YEAH!!

“How do you prepare to do a different version of the character, like in 6741?” SARAH: Acting is a lot of human psychology and we are all more than just one thing. With actors you find the closest part of you to the character; she tried to tap into herself there.
Sarah: “There were plenty of times when I was playing Shaw that I didn’t know if I was doing a good job.”
Sarah: I wasn’t supposed to emote much, but we aren’t like robots.

SS: “Kissing Amy is like biting into the most succulent peach. It’s sweet & juicy & just a little wet. It’s better than your dream, sister.”

Someone asked them to improve a scene and Amy says “Hasn’t someone here written some fanfic? … We’ll do a stage reading of anyone’s fic.”
Sarah and Amy acting out Root coming back alive.
“Root.”
“Did you miss me?”
“Is that you?”
“Are you ready for this?”
“I’ve never been more ready”
“Look behind you”
(They [fake] kiss)

Someone asked about SHOOT kinks and Amy just said “we’re gonna keep things ziptied.”

Sarah says Shaw definitely realized she loved Root back in s4; that at the beginning she didn’t have a thing for Root & took her by surprise
“In an alternate universe the two of them were together and made little SHOOT babies.” - Sarah
Sarah says in s4 the flirtations started working, like when Root picked her up on the bike & when Shaw realized she needed Root to help her
Sarah says 6,741 was a result of the fans feedback on Twitter.

Amy says that Root got her hacker skills from playing Oregon Trail.

Sarah said kissing your friend is like kissing your sister.

Amy says the weird part is the audience of the cast and crew when shooting, but she was glad Sarah was there.
Amy also said that there’s not a person she’d rather have that experience with than Sarah. (About shooting 6741)

Amy says Root made the decision in s5 she did because if she chose Shaw, there would be no world anyway.
Amy also says that being The Machine was the closest Root could get to having both.

Sarah likes doing films because you can take more chances and move at a slower pace.
Amy likes TV because you gain a family in the crew & the characters get to evolve and change. “But I guess shows can be cancelled.”

“In canon we see Shaw has a PD, and Root probably does as well, how does that change the way you approach the characters?”
Amy says that’s where you got a lot of quirks of the characters, but you just play them as truthful to what’s on the page.
Sarah says she remembers she had to look up Axis II disorders to learn how to play things accurate.

Sarah loved working w/Bear b/c the takes were different because you had to work w/what he wanted to do. “You’re not gonna out cute the dog”
Amy telling a story about how they were shooting outside and it was SO COLD they were both getting frostbite but they had to keep shooting. But then the animal handler came & had to take Bear because it was too cold for him, so she was jealous.

When asked, “Did Root have a crush on Hannah?” Amy said, “She was before your time, you don’t have to be jealous.” To Sarah.

Talking about new projects- Sarah: It’s kind of like a TV version of Inception. She goes into people’s subconscious to help them.
Sarah also did an Amazon pilot called “Halfway House” where she plays a meth addict.

Amy says she’s afraid to talk about her new project.

Sarah closes the panel by acknowledging the support of fans and is thankful because they’re why they are where they are.

Thank you to starrymag

Lana Del Rey says Donald Trump helped shape her album ‘Lust For Life’ — and the world needs feminism more than ever.
The singer has returned to the world of music with her fourth studio album in five years.

By Jacqui Swift for The Sun (UK).

LANA DEL REY’s latest album glitters with an all-star cast.
On ‘Lust For Life,’ her most impressive album yet, Lana teams up with heavyweights such as The Weeknd, Stevie Nicks, Sean Ono Lennon and A$AP Rocky.

They are the first collaborations in her career so far, which spans five studio albums, including four in the past five years — an impressive work rate for the Los Angeles-based star.

Keep reading

Lie to me? Steal my work? Have fun going from 52K a year to minimum wages.

(warning: long story)

Takes place back in 2014, long read with a lot of buildup to revenge. I was about a year into my job and was being recognized for my talents and promoted pretty regularly. I was constantly being used as the liaison between my company and the client companies we had business and contracts with, and literally have saved our contract companies hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Then I was approached by Amy, who was in another department, for a job opportunity in the next month or so. She was going out on medical leave and was going to train me to take over her position in the interim and then fully take it over once she came back and moved into a new role. I was ecstatic because I knew she had a salary position and that’s what I really wanted. Most of the salaried positions in the company were the kind you had direct reports and in my industry there is a lot of stupid and handholding so I was not looking forward to have to deal with that stuff, but here was this angel offering me the salary I wanted and the stepping stone I wanted to get further in the company, all without having to deal with stupidity on a daily basis! So for the next 3 weeks I’m pulled from my current duties about twice a week to train in her position. In the beginning it was really menial stuff to get aquatinted with her department but then we started getting into the bigger Excel stuff. Now her job was 90% Excel based, but in having her teach me her job and the duties and deadlines for certain things I realized she was basically flying by with basic Excel knowledge (I’m taking formulas to do math and VLOOKUPs were the majority of what she used in EVERYTHING). Now I was really okay with it and knew I could bring a lot more to the position with my knowledge and really help out the management team and showcase my expertise to them.

Keep reading

In the AU when Galra!Keith learn that Altean!Lance is the prince

(Just a tiny scene i had in my head.XD might end up drawing it.:))


Galra!Keith- HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE PRINCE OF ALTEA!!! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME?!

Altean! Lance- I TOLD YOU THE FIRST TIME WE MET!!!

Galra!Keith - I TOUGHT YOU WHERE JUST FLIRTING!!

Altean!Lance - OMG! do you know a lot of white hair altean THAT LOOK JUST LIKE THE PRINCE?! OF COURSE I WAS SAYING THE TRUTH! YOU SHOULD KNOW! YOU ARE PART OF THE EMBASSADOR CREW!

Galra! Keith- I… I WAS BUSY! I don’t follow the news that much, its normally just a bunch of gossip!! AND I DIDN’T TOUGHT THE PRINCE WOULD BE THE KIND TO GO FLIRTING AROUND LIKE THAT!

Altean! Lance - FIRSTLY, I DON’T “FLIRT AROUND” AND SECONDLY , YOU….er….you looked cute thats all. *pout*

Galra! Keith- WELL….erm…i tought it was kinda cute that you said you where the prince when you…hrm…flirted…with me….

Altean! Lance- ….

Galra! Keith-….

McPriceley Fanfiction Recommendations

McPriceley fanfiction that I absolutely adore~! Not mine.

McPriceley Fanfiction Recommendations

1. Turn It Off
“"Where’s your ‘nifty, little Mormon trick,’ now? What good is it if you can’t use it when you need it most?”“

2. Little Syncopations
"Five times Elder Price made matters terribly frustrating for Elder McKinley…well, sort of.”

Keep reading

this is just a reminder to take some pressure off of yourself. you don’t need to act a certain way or be around certain people if you don’t feel like they are helping you be your best. you don’t need to guilt yourself or hurt yourself in order to improve. things are hard. and sometimes other things make already difficult things even harder to accomplish. i know this is vague but i rlly just wanna make this universal. forgive yourself. for anything you’re feeling shitty about right now, i want you to hold your own hand for a second and realize that anything that you feel bad about doesn’t make YOU bad. take any rough experiences you’ve had and realize maybe you weren’t your best then. but you can grow from that if you allow that hard time to teach you something. YOU ARE SO CAPABLE. i have learned to let go of a lot of the anger and frustration i used to hold so tightly that it started to eat me up. but i am a different person now. and i was never bad to begin with. its just my truth then is different than it is now. LET YOURSELF GROW FROM DRY SOIL. WATER YOURSELF. we are all immensely flawed. that’s okay! we just all have to accept it and strive to be the best we can be because in the end thats really one of the few things that actually matters.

2

I’m proud of who I am
No more monsters, I can breathe again
And you said that I was done
Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come
‘Cause I can make it on my own
And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known
I’ll bring thunder, I’ll bring rain, oh
When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

You brought the flames and you put me through hell.
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”.

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’.

Secrets- Riverdale X Reader chapter 1- The rivers Edge ((Jughead Jones))

Originally posted by betty-and-jughead

Fandom: riverdale

 Warnings: none

 Word count: lots

notes: let me know if you want more of this! is anyone actually interested?

_____________________________________________________________

 You studied yourself in the bathroom mirror intently. You still looked the same.

Same (E/C) eyes, same (H/C) hair. But you weren’t the same, not after what had happened over the summer. 

After that summer, nothing could ever be the same.

 The girl in the mirror was you, but you had no idea who that was. On July 3rd of this year, your mother had told you a closely guarded secret about the circumstances surrounding your birth, the reason your mom had left riverdale, and who your father really was. She felt you finally needed to learn the truth.

You were a Blossom…well, sort of.

When Cheryl and Jason’s mother was pregnant with the twins, their Father, Clifford Blossom, had developed a wandering eye…and it had wandered straight to your mother. They had been together 2 months before your mother had found out she was pregnant. 

So, your father had taken immediate action. He had paid your mother two hundred thousand to take you and herself far away and to keep her mouth shut.
But when your Grandmother got sick, all bets were off. 

So your Mother had sat you down and told you everything. Including that you were moving back to Riverdale within the week, a town you had both left behind you, and for good reason.

The next day, Jason Blossom had gone missing.

-
-
-
Nearly 3 months later and here you were, getting ready for your first day of school at Riverdale High. It was terrifying having this huge secret weighing you down, especially when your newly discovered half sister went to your school. 

You ruffled a shaky hand through your hair and walked out of the bathroom. The last thing you needed was added attention from being late on day one.

You left your house and stepped out into the warm September air.

You walked towards the school, the slight breeze making the residual summer heat a little more bearable.

When you got to the high school, it was swarming with teens. Each one in their own little world, greeting friends they haven’t seen in months with warm smiles and thankfully, ignoring you.

You wandered in to the school caught up in your thoughts and anxieties, before running smack into a blonde girl, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail.

You lost your balance and went tumbling, taking the blonde girl with you. You hit the ground with a thud and she landed next to you right after. Face flushed red in embarrassment, you jumped up and started apologizing rapidly “Oh crap are you okay? I’m so sorry!“ 

The girl just waved a hand, dismissing your frantic apologies, “It’s fine, I’m alright. Don’t worry about it.“ 

Even with her reassurances, you still stuck out a hand to help her up, which she took and got up on her feet. You knew you had to be somewhere, but you still felt kinda awful.                                                                                                 

"Hey, are you new?” the girl was looking at you with curiosity.

You shrugged, “Yeah I guess I am. My names (Y/N) (L/N)”                                       

The blondes face instantly lit up in recognition, “I’m Betty Cooper, your peer mentor!” Betty gave you a warm smile, which you hesitantly returned “Guess it’s a good thing I ran into you then, huh?” you laughed nervously.

 
Betty nodded at you with a smile. “I guess it is. Anyways, now that I have you, just follow me. I’m also mentoring another new student named Veronica Lodge.”

You knew that name, everyone did. Her father had been in the news for months, but you decided to keep your mouth shut. It wasn’t any of your business who Veronica’s father was or what he had done. You hoped the sentiment would be a two way street.

You caught up to a raven haired girl at the office. Her and Betty exchanged pleasantries. You didn’t really listen to the small talk but you figured this was Veronica. 

Betty and Veronica started walking. You quickly caught up and walked alongside them.

 "Soooo…I usually start off my tours with a little history and context” Betty began, “Riverdale High first opened its doors in 1941 and–”

Veronica cut Betty off mid sentence. “And hasn’t been redecorated since, apparently. Honestly, I feel like I’m wandering through the lost epilogue of our town.” you smiled at Veronica’s comment. The school seriously did have a ‘vintage’ sort of air.

Veronica was talking again, “So whats the social scene here like? Any nightclubs?”

Before Betty could answer, a new guy with brown hair and a green sweater came up beside you, before moving in front, walking backwards to be face to face with the 3 of you. “A strip club called the Ho Zone, and a tragic gay bar called Innuendo.” Your lips quirked up at the edges at the ridiculous club names.
Green sweater continued his list of social activities.

“Friday nights, football games. And then tailgate parties at the mal-mart parking lot. Saturday night is movie night, regardless of whats playing at the Bijou. And you better get there early because we don’t have reserved seating in Riverdale. And Sunday nights? Thank GOD for HBO.”

Betty smiled as the boy wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulder, “Veronica lodge, (Y/N) (L/N), Kevin Keller. Veronica and (Y/N) are new here, Kevin is–” Betty started to introduce the three of you but was once again cut off by Veronica, “Gay. Thank god. Let’s be best friends.” She stuck a hand out for him to shake. 

You gave him a smile and a polite “Hello” but Kevin’s attention was on Veronica.
Kevin took her hand and gave it a quick shake, before leaning in conspiratorially. 

“Is it true what they say about your dad?” he said in a semi hushed tone. Betty shot him a warning glare and you inhaled a sharp breath. But Veronica just took it in stride, a noticeably more guarded expression on her face. 

“That he’s the devil incarnate?…I stand by my father.“ 

She crossed her arms and gave Betty a pointed look, "Does everyone here know?” Betty and Kevin were silent, refusing to meet her gaze. “Judging by the looks you’ve been getting? I think so.” You blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Veronica gave an annoyed tight lipped smile, “Wonderful. Ten minutes in and I’m already the blue jasmine of riverdale high.”

Veronica stormed off and Betty gave Kevin another pointed look. Kevin shrugged and shook his head. 
"What?” Kevin asked, but instead of answering, Betty just followed Veronica. You followed Betty, Kevin close behind.

By the time you had caught up to Betty, she and Veronica were already back to chatting about Riverdale Highs social calendar. So you just fell into step beside them.

“So there’s everything Kevin already told you and- oh, of course, there’s the back to school semi-formal dance this weekend–” Betty was yet again cut off by Veronica who grabbed her arm and stopped Betty mid stride with a little gasp of excitement. “There’s the hottie you were with last night. The red-headed Ansel Elgort.”

You leaned over to Kevin “If the boys all look like that, I’m going to love Riverdale.” You joked, Kevin responded with an amused snort. 

Before you could continue your jokes about the attractive Riverdale male populace, Veronica was talking again. “Is he your boyfriend?” You were pretty sure the question was aimed at Betty but Kevin answered too,

“No we’re just friends” was Betty’s answer and "No, he’s straight.” was Kevins.
The three of you looked at Kevin, smiling in amusement at the mix up.

Veronica had an intrigued smile on her face as she watched Archie, “In that case, mind putting in a word? I’ve tried every flavour of boy but orange.”

By the look on Betty’s face you immediately knew that was a touchy subject.

“Actually, to clarify, Betty and Archie aren’t dating, but they are endgame.” Kevin informed Veronica, causing her to immediately switch gears and give Betty a matter-of-fact look. “You should ask him to the semi-formal then.”

“She should, but I heard it might be getting cancelled, because of what happened to Jason. They’re going to tell us at the assembly." 

Your breath caught at Jason’s name, a bit of paranoia gripping at you. Did he know? There was no way he knew, nobody did.
"Who’s Jason?” you rushed out in a slightly too high tone. You figured asking who he was would let you play dumb about the Blossom family as a whole. Veronica added on, “and what happened to him?" 

Betty and Kevin shared an awkward silent look, their mouths open like they were looking for the right words.

Betty was quiet as Kevin explained the July 4th incident, You knew already. You had googled the Blossoms two days after your mother had told you the truth of who you were. Just in time for you to learn of the fatal accident that took the life of an older brother you would never meet.

After Kevin was finished explaining, everyone was quiet as you walked to the gym to attend the assembly. A heavy silence hung over the four of you.
When you reached the gym you stopped dead.

 Cheryl Blossom would be in this room. As Kevin reached to pull open the doors you managed to speak. "It’s awful what happened to Jason. I hope Cheryl is going to be okay…” three pairs of eyes were immediately on you, “None of us mentioned Cheryl (y/n), how do you know who she is?” Kevin asked, his and Bettys expressions were confused and Veronicas was suspicious.

You swore internally. “I heard one of the students talking about her earlier, I just put two and two together at the name Blossom.” You lied with ease. You had always been quick at thinking on your feet…even if you hated lying.

Betty and Kevin nodded accepting your answer, but Veronicas suspicious gaze lingered on you. You were going to have to be a lot more careful around Veronica Lodge.

Your group filed into the crowded gym. Pretty much all the seats were taken except 3 near the left bottom corner and a few singles scattered around. The four of you eyed each other awkwardly.
“You guys go ahead, I’ll be fine by myself.” You smiled at them. Betty looked relieved, and then a little guilty, “Are you sure (y/n)?” You nodded “Totally sure.”

Kevin grinned. “Catch up with us after, I’ll continue to be your designated Riverdale guide.”
“See you after.” you replied, before wandering off to find a seat.

You ended up sitting next to a guy with black hair and an odd grey beanie up in the back corner. He made no acknowledgement of you when you sat down, typing away at his laptop. He was definitely interesting, you could tell that. But before you could say anything, a girl with striking red hair had begun talking.

What she said next was lost to you, all you could hear was blood rushing through your head and your pulse pounding. That was Cheryl. It was so surreal, her being 40 feet away from you, with no idea who you were. You were strangers to each other, but still siblings. Still family. But she would never know. No one could ever know. You registered her asking for a moment of silence to reflect on how Jason had touched each of the students lives, as you tried to push away the onslaught of new and powerful emotions.

The boy next to you was watching you intently, silently observing your odd reaction to Cheryls speech. The way you were gripping the seat so hard your knuckles were turning white. When you looked back and him he diverted his gaze and went back to typing.

You managed to get a grip on yourself and calm down, the earlier aura of panic, switching to bored and collected with practiced ease. You bottled stuff up, always had. That was something that hadn’t changed. 


Cheryl was speaking again and you immediately turned your focus to her.
“Thank you for that moment of silence. Many of you were lucky enough to have known my brother personally. Each and every one of you meant the world to Jason.”
Cheryls voice was calm and collected, which you thought was impressive for someone who had just lost her twin.”

But maybe Cheryl Blossom was just like that. You had no frame of reference.
“I loved my brother. He was, and always will be, my soulmate. So I speak with the confidence only a twin could have, Jason wouldn’t want us to spend the year mourning.”

The boy next to you fidgeted as Cheryl talked. You bounced your leg and tried to remain stone faced beside him. You glanced at him to see he was already looking at you. You figured it was just because you were the new girl. But his eyes seemed like he was seeing something more, trying to figure you out instead of just looking.

“Jason would want us to move on with our lives. Which is why I’ve asked the school board not to cancel the back to school semi-formal. but rather to let us use it as a way to heal collectively.–”

People all around you were cheering enthusiastically at the news about the semi-formal. Cheryl had a smile on her face that seemed genuinely warm and sincere.

“–and celebrate my brothers too, too short life on this mortal coil. Thank you all.” Cheryl walked off the small makeshift stage and exited the room.

You grabbed your bag and left through the side door as soon as the assembly was over. You had a spare block and decided to just get some air. You needed the distraction, the break.                                                                                   You sat down under a giant tree with, just enough shade to block you from the lingering summer heat. You grabbed your sketchbook and a pencil from your bag and flipped to a blank page.

You had no idea what you were drawing, you just let the pencil flick across the paper, creating lines. Pretty soon there was a familiar face staring back at you.

Cheryl.

Oaper Cheryl looked like she was scared and upset, angled away like she was running from something. You had no idea why you had drawn it.

You immediately ripped it out of your book and crumpled it up, setting it beside you to be thrown away later.
You had just started scribbling a quick sketch of a little bird that was flitting around on the ground in front of you when an unfamiliar voice startled you out of your bubble.

“So you’re an artist?”

You whipped your head around, looking at the boy from the assembly leaning against the tree.

You brought the sketchbook close to your chest defensively, “I’m drawing, so I guess I must be.” You eyed him apprehensively. “Who are you exactly?”

He shifted his laptop bag on his shoulder. “Jughead Jones. The Third. I sat next to you at the assembly.”

You raised an eyebrow in curiousity, “Jughead Jones the third. That’s…unique.”

He nodded once, looking at you expectantly.

“My names (Y/N) (L/N)–” you paused, a hint of a mischievous smile on your lips. “the first.”

Jugheads lips quirked up for a split second, before switching back to the calculating look he wore at the assembly.  

“So (Y/N), you had a pretty strong reaction to cheryls speech. Did you know Jason?”

You instantly went on the defense. Your arms crossed against your chest and your expression became guarded. “No. I didn’t know anything about him before today.” you lied.

Jughead looked like he didn’t quite believe you, his eyes searching your face for signs of deception, and his expression was hard to read. You can almost see a little press cap and vintage camera. He reminded you of a reporter and that put you more on guard. “I just lost my best friend who was part of a pair of twins. I guess it just hit home.”

Another lie.

Jughead still looked a bit suspicious, but seemed to accept your lie for now. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Betty calling your name.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” Jughead remarked dryly before turning and heading in the other direction.

Betty walked over to you and greeted you with a smile. “Hey (Y/N), we didn’t see you after the assembly.”

“Yeah, sorry I just needed some air." 

Betty nodded, her ponytail swishing behind her. "Well, do you want to join us for lunch?”

You smiled, one of the few genuine smiles of that day, “I’d actually love that.”
You packed up your stuff and reached for the balled up sketch from earlier, but it was gone. You hadn’t thought the wind was enough to move it today, but you figured you had misjudged. Not that it really mattered, people didn’t exactly inspect trash. You grabbed your bag and stood up to follow the two teens.


Betty and Kevin made a Beeline for the Red-headed boy from earlier, who was sitting alone at one of the picnic tables scattered around the courtyard. When the three of you sat down he looked up and greeted Betty and Kevin with warm smiles. His eyes were filled with confusion when his gaze landed on you.

Betty quickly introduced you, “(Y/N) meet Archie Andrews.”
Archie gave you a nod of acknowledgment “Hey”

You gave him a small smile and short wave in greeting.

Archie turned his attention to Betty and pulled out a laptop. He started talking but you weren’t listening.

Jughead was staring at you from across the outdoor seating area. You ended up staring right back. His eyes were locked with yours, both of you daring the other to look away. After about a minute Betty’s voice snapped you out of your weirdly intense staring contest.

“(y/n) are you okay? You’re kinda spacing out.”

You blinked a few times to clear your head. “Yeah sorry. Just daydreaming, I guess” You glanced back over to where Jughead had been but he was gone.

Betty nodded and looked at Archie, “Alright, now that (Y/N) is paying attention, you HAVE to play your song for us.”

Archie looked a tiny bit apprehensive but you didn’t think that has anything to do with you. It was the same feeling you get when people ask to see your drawings.
Archie sighed in resignation and hit play, a soft melody pouring through his laptops speakers. it was actually really good, something you hadn’t been expecting.

The song had only been on for about 30 seconds when Veronica walked up to the table,

“Can I join?” Veronica asked with a polite smile.
Archie closed his laptop, and Betty smiled at her “yeah.”  

Veronica moved to sit down with the rest of you, “What are we doing?” Veronica asked.

A proud grin broke out onto Bettys face. “Listening to one of Archies songs.” She leaned closer to Archie.

“I thought we were gonna have to pretend to like it, but its actually really good.”
You grinned at Kevins comment. You actually had been dreading the possibility of pretending to like Archies song, you honestly didn’t have the energy.

“Yeah I actually really really liked it.” You smiled at Archie. You had really liked his song, and hoped one day you guys could actually hear the rest.

Veronica looked kind of confused as she shifted in her seat, “Wait, that was you singing something you wrote?”

Archie looked away “It’s rough.”
Betty, who was starting to sound like Archies personal cheerleader, contradicted him. “No, it’s great.” she said, that huge grin still on her face

You glanced away. Jeez, Betty had it bad for this guy.

“It’s incredible, actually. The little snippet I heard. Is that your thing? Music? Are you doing something with that?” Veronica asked Archie while Betty watched her with a weird expression.

Archie nodded and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, that’s the plan.” He immediately changed the subject. “So, how’s your guys first day going? good?” this seemed to be directed at you and veronica. You didn’t really have an answer so you just let her answer as you shrugged.

“Not to be a complete narcissist, but I thought people would be more–”
Kevin cut her off, “Obsessed with you? Any other year you’d be trending number one for sure. This year though, its all about Cheryl trying to win the best supporting psycho Oscar for her role as Riverdale Highs bereaved red widow." 

You bristled at this,
"She just lost her twin brother, Kevin. I think you’d be a little messed up too, especially in an accident like that.” Your tone was cold and a switch from the tables previous friendly banter.


An awkward silence fell over the table. Everyone looked a little uncomfortable at your comment and gave you curious looks. After a few moments Archie grabbed his bag “I should go. Meeting with Grundy, then football tryouts.”

Veronica smiled “You play football too? What don’t you do?” she quipped as Archie walked away from the group.

As soon as he was out of earshot you wiggled your eyebrows at Betty, “That right there is a damn good pick Betty.” She ducked her head in embarrassment.
Kevin looked at Veronica and you, “Before you guys ask, no she has not invited-”

Betty suddenly looked kind of panicked and shot the three of you warning stares, “No, not yet. and don’t talk about Archie.” then she quickly went back to nonchalantly eating her food as Cheryl Blossom herself approached your table.

Cheryl walked up to the table and put her hands on her waist, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. The shock and panic from earlier had worn off for you, now Cheryl’s presence was just a fact.

“Veronica Lodge. I’d heard whisperings– I’m Cheryl Blossom.” Cheryl had that off-putting smile on her face the whole time she spoke. “May I sit? Betty, would you mind?”

Without waiting for a response, she sat down as Betty frowned a bit and slid down to the seat directly across from you and Kevin. You shot Betty a sympathetic look as Cheryl turned her attention to the rest of you. You noted that she hadn’t bothered to introduce herself to you, even though you were new as well.
“So, what are you four hens gossiping about? Archies efron-esque emergence from the chrysalis of puberty?” Cheryl had a conspiratorial smile and Betty shook her head as a warning for you and Veronica.

“Extracurriculars. Weatherbee wants me and (y/n) to sign up for a few.” Veronica switched the focus off Archie. At the mention of your name Cheryl finally acknowledged you, looking you up and down with a judgmental stare. You shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Cheryl seemed to deem you not totally offensive and flashed that fake smile at you as a way of acknowledging your existence.
“Cheer leading! You must. I am senior captain of the river vixens.” Cheryl moved her hair to her other shoulder and watched Veronicas reaction intently.
“Is cheer leading still a thing?” Kevin said before Veronica could answer. You stifled a laugh at the statement and the almost genuine look of confusion on his face.

Cheryl fixed him with a cold stare, annoyance lacing her tone. “Is being the gay best friend still a thing?” She then turned back to Veronica and switched back to cheer leading.“Some people say its retro. I say its eternal and iconic.” She wore a proud smirk.

“At Spence, I sat at the top of the elites pyramid. I’m in.” Veronica said, then looked at you and Betty. “Betty, (y/n) you’re trying out too.”
You just nodded, you had no intention of trying out for cheer leading but weren’t going to say anything in front of Cheryl.

Cheryl looked at you and Betty, once again with that judgy stare, “Of course! Anyone’s welcome to try out.” Cheryl looked down at Bettys plate of food with disdain, “But Betty’s already got so much on her plate right now…And being a vixen is kind of a full-time thing, but open to all!”

You clenched your fists at your sides, your temper getting the better of you. Any sympathy you may have felt for Cheryl was rapidly fading.

Cheryl got up from the table and addressed you and Veronica, “Follow me on Twitter and I’ll do the same. my handles @CherylBombshell” and with a smile she turned and walked away.

Veronica smiled in relief as soon as Cheryl was gone. “Okay go ahead and hate on cheer leading but if Hipster prince Harry–”
Betty interrupted veronica, “Oh, I’d love to be a cheerleader. It would look good on my college applications. But, last year when I tried out Cheryl said I was too fat.”

“Too season 5 Betty Draper. It was a great line.” Kevin the looked guilty and amended with “But not all all true.”

Immediately your already flaring temper got the best of you, “Seriously? Is that what that plate crack was about? that was so rude and uncalled for.”
Kevin hummed in agreement and Betty nodded sheepishly.

“I agree with (y/n), that was a total bitch move. But you’re a total smoke show now, I mean it. As hot and as smart as you are…you should be the Queen Bae of this Drab hive…look, if you want to be a River Vixen, I’ll help you prep. I have moves. You too (y/n), we can all tryout together.”

You vigorously shook your head, “Thanks for the offer, but cheer leading isn’t my scene. I’m going to have to pass. I’ll totally come and provide Moral support though.”
Veronica looked a tiny bit disappointed but nodded in acceptance, “Alright (y/n) is out, how about you Betty?”

Betty looked deep in thought for a few seconds before smiling broadly at Veronica, “Okay, you know what? Show me your moves.”
You grinned at Betty, “I bet it doesn’t hurt that Archie will get to see you at the game, in your cheerleader uniform.”
Betty flushed a deep red and Kevin and veronica both laughed light heartedly. The rest of lunch period was passed in good natured teasing and friendly banter. 


-
-

On the day of the semi-formal you were a lot more adjusted to riverdale, Cheryl was just the schools resident mean girl and Jason was just some boy who had passed away over the summer essentially they were strangers to you. It didn’t matter that they shared a common parent anymore, It was a secret that would be kept, and hopefully completely ignored.

You were walking home from the nearby 7-11 when your phone chimed with an unread text notification. You unlocked your phone and a text from Betty filled your screen.

’(y/n) do you need a ride? we’re going to the dance at 7’
You grinned at your phone.

‘we? meaning you and Archie? ;)’
a few minutes passed with no response before Betty finally answered,

‘We meaning Veronica, Archie and me.’
You frowned at the message, Betty had apparently lost her nerve.

damn :( but no, I don’t need a ride I live like 2 blocks from the school.’
You waited for a response but Betty never answered, You figured she had been caught up in some pre-dance prep or something, and continued on your walk home.

You arrived at your house a few seconds later and unlocked the door. An empty silence greeted you, your mom was away on a business trip.  Your mother worked as a freelance consultant for big corporations and had to travel alot because of it, so you were usually alone in the house.

Growing up you had a housekeeper that would take care of you, but she had died a few years ago. And by that point you were old enough to take care of yourself, so most of the time it was just you.
When your mother was home she would generally be with your grandmother at the retirement home, your grandma had developed dementia and wasn’t usually lucid as of late. But you weren’t close to her so it was harder on your mother than on you.

You shook the depressing thoughts from your head and wandered into the kitchen and put your bag down. It was around three and you still needed to do some homework before getting ready for the dance.
You grabbed the books from your bag and plugged in your headphones, starting on your latest English assignment.

-
-

Four hours later you were all dolled up and headed to the school, your heels clicked on the pavement as you walked, your hair was down and jostled lightly in the cool breeze.

You walked up to the schools front doors and could already hear music pouring from the gym. You walked in to see Betty standing alone.
“Hey, wheres Veronica and Archie? aren’t they your companions for the evening?”
Betty smiled a little sadly and opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Kevin.

“Betty, (Y/n), You will not BELIEVE who just propositioned me in the bathroom. Give you a hint, his name may be moose…But I’d describe a certain appendage of his as as horse-like.”
You choked on a laugh at the description and put a hand over your mouth, “Oh man I knew one of the football players had to be gay, the small town gods demand it." 

Betty was just speechless her mouth open in shock.

Veronica showed up a few seconds later, "Hey (y/n) when did you get here?”
You shrugged, “A minute or so ago.”

She nodded in acknowledgement and turned to Kevin.
“I need a dance partner.” Veronica Grabbed Kevins hand with a grin and led him out to the dance floor. They passed Reggie and Moose on their way while the two boys were filling a flask with punch.

Kevin gave Moose an awestruck look as they passed and Moose quickly averted his gaze, which made you start laughing all over again. Your laughter caused Betty to start giggling too. But your laughter was cut short when Cheryls voice came through the loud speakers.

“Good evening, friends. are you all having a good time?”
The crowd around you clapped and cheered.

“As honorary chairperson and de facto Queen of tonights semi-formal…it is my great pleasure to introduce this evenings main entertainment. To know them is to be obsessed with them. Though they usually perform their own material– tonight they’re making an exception…And debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived, this ones for you, JJ.”

You raised an eyebrow at the song choice, it was a little odd to pick something like that. But before you could comment Archie came up to you and Betty.“Sorry about that…oh hey (y/n)”

“I give you Josie and the pussycats!” Cheryl finished right after Archie spoke.
More cheering erupted around you at the mention of the bands name.
Music filled the gym as a slow song was played by the girls on the stage.

Archie turned to Betty, “Wanna dance?”
Betty broke out into a wide grin and happily accepted, leaving you standing alone at the edge of the room.

You watched with a happy grin on your face as Betty and Archie Danced, smiles on their faces. But your smile was quickly turned into a frown as Bettys face grew serious and she removed her arms from around Archies neck. You couldn’t hear what they were saying but you knew it couldn’t be good as Archie looked away from her uncomfortably.

Betty looked upset as the song came to an end and her and Archie stood stiffly beside each other.

You caught up to Kevin and Veronica by the snack table.
“did you guys see Archie and Betty? That really didn’t look good.”
Kevin and Veronica nodded and shared your worried look but before you three could discuss further one of Cheryls friends came up, and invited Veronica and you to an after party at Cheryls

-
-

You were sitting on a couch next to Betty kind of uncomfortable and lost in your own thoughts as you stared intently at a picture of Clifford Blossom, yours and Cheryls father. It was surreal thinking about it, thinking about him, being in this house.

But Cheryls voice interrupted your thoughts.
“It’s game time at chez Blossom, kiddies. We’re going old school tonight Seven minutes in heaven. Who wants to tryst in the closet of love first? My vote is ‘A’ for Archie. Anyone care to second it?”

“Wait, actually–” Archie started to protest but Reggie cut him off.
YES! Andrews. yes.”

Cheryls smile was the sickeningly sweet one as she gestured for everyone to come closer. “All right, gather round kids. Lets see whos riding the ginger stallion tonight.”
She flicked her wrist expertly and the bottle began spinning, Betty and Veronica leaned in intently and you looked on gripped with fear for your friends, you knew Cheryl was up to something and it wasn’t going to be good.

The bottle came to a halt, pointing right between Betty and Veronica. You swore under your breath.
Oooh no way!” Reggie laughed, oblivious to the deeper problems at play.

Betty and Veronica shared an awkward look and Cheryl smirked triumphantly.
“Its clearing pointing to…the new girl. this should be fun.”

Veronica shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “Um, Im not doing this.”

“Thats up to you, but if you don’t…house rules decree the hostess gets to take your turn.” Cheryls tone was antagonistic, she knew exactly what she was doing to those three.

Instead of answering Veronica just looked defeated and Betty looked at Archie looking like she was about to cry.
They walked into the closet and shut the door, You put a hand on Betty’s shoulder and she just stared at the wall, her green eyes glistening.

10 minutes later they were still in the closet.

“Betty its okay, I’m sure Archie and Veronica would never do anything to hurt you.” You tried to reassure her.
Betty was silent and still.

Cheryl watched her with a predatory gaze, her tone was mocking and cruel “(y/n) is right Betty, I’m sure nothing is happening between them.” She smirked as a tear escaped Bettys eye and she ran from the room.

You glared at Cheryl. “Seriously?” your voice was sharp with anger, and you wanted to wipe that stupid triumphant smile off her face, but Betty was more important.

You ran out the front door into the cool night air, but Betty was nowhere in sight.
“Betty?”

No response.
You groaned in frustration and started searching for the blonde.

-
-


Nearly half an hour later you were out of options and everything in this town was closed, except a diner called pop tates, with a resigned huff you decided to check here too as a last ditch effort.

You walked in the building and were instantly hit with the overwhelming smell of food cooking and something sweet. But food wasn’t why you were here.
You walked up to the counter and were greeted by an older man with kind eyes and a warm smile.
“Welcome to pop tates. you new in town?”

You nodded and your gaze darted around searching for Betty.
“Yeah I am listen, have you seen Betty Cooper?”

The man chuckled, “No, not tonight. but you are the second person to come in looking for her.” He gestured towards Archie who was sitting in a booth talking to Jughead. You stormed over to him.

“Archie Andrews I am going to kill you. Do you know how much you hurt Betty going into that closet? You could’ve refused! It’s not like Cheryl had a gun to your head! Or at the very least you could have have come out after the 7 minutes! You knew Betty liked you! You knew and I’m guessing those extra minutes in there weren’t filled with an innocent chat.”

Archie opened his mouth to respond but you cut him off.


“Betty doesn’t deserve this crap. And with Veronica!

way to rub salt in the–”

Archie cut your angry rant off.



“I know I messed up okay?” he looked defeated and heartbroken. “I’m going to go talk to her. I’m going to go fix this.”

“You better Andrews.” you crossed your arms and fixed him with a protective glare, but let him pass.

Jughead was staring at you with a peculiar expression on his face you couldn’t tell what was going on in his head, you didn’t care, not at the moment.

“What?” your tone wasn’t accusing or angry, just tired.

He stared at you like he was seeing you for the first time. 

“How long have you known Betty?”

You looked away and sighed, “I don’t know…a week?”


He nodded once and turned his focus back to his computer. You sat down in the seat across from him without asking and fixed him with a cryptic stare.



Jughead broke the silence, “Why?”

His question surprised you, and you just blinked.

“Why defend a girl you’ve only known for a week?” He pressed.


You sighed and looked down at your lap, your gaze refusing to meet Jugheads.

“I don’t know. people like Betty, she’s so kind and welcoming…Are so rare She accepted me and Veronica immediately. Even though Archie and Veronica had that spark, and she’s so head over heels for him…She still welcomed her welcomed us both treated us like friends. Then Veronica and Archie did what they did and hurt her so badly.”

You paused.



“This town already has enough hurting people.”

Jughead searched your face for a lie, or the hidden meaning behind your words. His Blue-green eyes met yours and you just stared right back, your face was neutral but there was a hint of sadness and Heaviness in your gaze.



You could tell he wanted you to explain further, and again you were reminded of a reporter. Digging at things that maybe should be left alone. And maybe you wanted to tell him…but you couldn’t.

You couldn’t tell anyone.



So, before Jughead had time to ask anything else, you stood up from the booth.

“I’ll see you around Jughead.”


And you left the diner, you walked home, and you went to bed.

-

-

but for the town of Riverdale, the night was far from over.

Of Mice and Vets.

A few years ago when I was a fresh faced, ready for anything newly graduated veterinarian I was working in a mixed practice when I discovered one of the simple truths that every new grad vet should know.

Your bosses will make you see every exotic animal that they don’t remember how to deal with.

Consequently, new grads often end up seeing most of the rabbits, guinea pigs, birds, rats, mice and reptiles that the good ol’ boss just feels ‘a bit rusty’ on. After all, that book learning should still be fresh in your head, right?

Which is why very early on I had a little patient called Mouse, who was a mouse, who was presented to me in a tissue box (that he very nearly ate his way out of in the waiting room) by a nearly 7ft tall sausage fingered man who very well could have been Lenny from 'Of Mice and men’.

Mouse had a problem. Mouse was going bald and looked pretty poorly, despite being bright and eagerly looking for a bolt hole. Mr Mouse Owner loved Mouse. Friend of Mr Mouse Owner, who may have been his carer or a relative, did not quite share the same level of affection, and thought Mouse should probably be put down.

There was only three things I remembered about mouse medicine from uni: respiratory disease, mammary tumors and mouse fur mite.

So despite Mr Mouse Owner’s companion strongly hinting that he thought the mouse should be euthanized, I talked them into spending a whole $6 on a skin scraping to try to identify mites.

For those of you that don’t know what a skin scraping is, you basically put a little oil on the skin and using a sterile, sharp scalpel blade scrape away the superficial and deep layers of skin. This is difficult enough on a wriggly dog, but on a wriggly little mouse was nearly impossible without damaging it. The mouse was barely bigger than the blade. Nevertheless, with help from a slightly confused nurse, we got our sample.

And we found our mites!

Hooray for a treatable diagnosis! Gosh, you wouldn’t believe how smart I felt at that stage.

The next step was finding some ivermectin to treat the mites. Our ivermectin only came in 1 liter bottles for dosing sheep, with dosages given in 50kg increments. It took a lot of maths and double checking to dilute the ivermectin correctly down to a fraction of a drop for little Mouse.

So after all the fuss, the test and the maths, I carefully administered one fraction of a diluted drop to the back of his neck, watched curiously by his owner, his friend muttering that they probably could have bought 30 new mice for the same price as this visit.

But Mouse got better. He was properly furred a month later.

So pay attention to your exotics notes if you’re about to graduate as a veterinarian. The older vets who feel they are 'out of practice’ will fob these patients off to you, and they’re equally as loved as their more common counterparts.

I’m a little caught up with myself lately. Won’t you take my most sincere apology? I’d stretch these arms just to hold you tight, but even I know that it wouldn’t do us any good. There’s so much more out there. There’s a million new things to learn within a day. You’re an artist, right? You’re into the night, right? You love this tiny blue dot, right? There’s so much more than love. There’s so much more than just us. I’m a little caught up with myself lately. Won’t you hold your head high for us? I’d stretch this heart an extra mile just to hear you laugh a little louder, just to see you smile a little bigger, and just to tell you that you’re more than enough for anyone to love. There’s better people out there for you to meet. There’s better people out there for you to fall in love with. You’re a painting, right? You’re made from watercolors, right? A burgundy rose waiting to be dipped into the horizon– you’re a sunrise waiting to happen. We’re a little caught up in the fleeting moments of just more than another us. We’re a little too good to be true, so it comes with a price. We’re alike, so I know what’s best for us. We’ve got plenty of time to explore each other, so we should analyze our reality. Long distance relationships are a test that we shouldn’t be taking– not in our current conditions at least. I’m a little distressed about myself. You’re still figuring out the world and who you are as a soul that loves to paint with just more than colors. We need to learn a little more. What is love to you? I’ve asked this many time before. Your answer is always me. That’s the thing, there’s plenty of right answers, but I’m just not one of them. How can I love you if I don’t know the first thing about it? Failed relationships are like dull pencils that we’ll want to sharpen every second– you were never boring, you were interesting to the shoreline and back. That’s the thing, isn’t it? I would give you the world if I knew how to. I would give you a meaningful promise if I knew how to. I could love you for an eternity composed of my heart twisted into your chest if I knew how to let go of the past. I should, but I still haven’t figured out how to do such a feat. I’m still stuck in my feelings like how you’re stuck onto me. I’m still lost at sea with crew members composed of younger versions of myself. How can I love you if I’m still figuring out how to love myself? How can I devote my passion to you if I’m still in trouble when I hear her name? How can I ruin you just for another shot at love? I wouldn’t do that to you. Alas, maybe I already have. Love is such a simple word. Four letters and the crowd cheers. Three words and there’s world peace. Afraid to open up and longing to be more of myself– I had to tell you every truth about who I am to myself and who I am to you. We’re always spinning ourselves to bed, we were smiling and hoping. You’re so much like me that it’s scary. They say that opposites attract, so how do we explain this? I guess we’re stuck in a fairy tale again and this is just another page. You’re a chapter that I can’t flip past, you’re a positive thing in my life and I don’t think I’m ready to accept that. I’ve got much to learn and maybe this was just a part of it. I’m a little caught up and into you– and this is the part where I have to pick what’s best for us. And the fact that you’re just like me… means that you already get it. You’re already in my head and you’ve made yourself comfy. So I guess an I love you will never start to sound like an apology between us.

“I love you.”
—  This is for you and only you.

The Snow Globe

by reddit user NP-CO

“Janie honey,” My mother said as we left the funeral. “That lawyer gave me a key.”

“A key?” I said.

“It seems that Aunt Tabitha left you something. Locked in a safe deposit box.”

“Really? I asked turning to my mother. “But wasn’t she poor?”

Keep reading

“I’ve learned things about you, things that you wanted to keep secret. You had Nighteye as a sidekick who knows about One for All and who believes Togata senpai would be a better candidate for your succession. A successor I didn’t know about. And you didn’t tell me.

And while you’re keeping all these secrets, I’m left to be denied the truth about everything that involves me! I have no idea of your intentions and that’s just leaving me all confused and you’re just…running away from your problems!!

I finally know the truth! I know who you are! You’re a liar!!

I thought you wanted to help me become a hero, wanted me to be your successor because you believed in me! How could you not tell me all of this?! I don’t know what to do without you guiding me! Maybe it doesn’t matter to you to think I needed to know as much as hiding from the past mistakes you made! And that’s why I’m here isn’t it?! Did you give me One for All just so you don’t have to deal with your past mistakes?!

…Is that all I’m here for?”

So an idea struck me after re-reading chapter 130 to crossover the moment that broke my heart from SU with the Father/Son relationship from BNHA that has my heart.

Now I’m not saying this will happen, but I think it could after how Izuku was at the end of the newest chapter and I don’t know whether or not I want him to snap and yell at All Might outta frustration and anger in the next chapter, but I mean I kinda sorta wanna feel the feels if it does happen ya know. 

anonymous asked:

hi! i really liked your meta on the recent chapter and i wanted to know your opinion on why levi chose armin instead of erwin? im not trying to start drama but i just keep thinking about what flock said on chapter 90 and i dont know how i feel about it still. what are your thoughts on the subject??

Ahh. I understand, anon. I’ve given my thoughts on this before but, not since the original spoilers came out. After rereading the entire arc, I definitely have a few things to add. So, get comfy because this answer will be a really long one, and also best read on a computer because this will contain a lot of images.

DISCLAIMER:

This is my personal opinion. In no way am I stating what I say here is entirely canon or completely accurate. if you disagree with my opinion, that’s perfectly fine! Everyone has a different point of view, but if you are going to send me messages trying to argue point of views with me, tell me I’m wrong, or send me hate messages; do us both a favor and please just don’t even bother.

Let me start this out by saying that I’m positive a lot of people will not agree or even like my opinion on this but, I will be completely honest in my statements on the matter. 

Flocke’s little speech made a lot of sense to me. Especially when it comes to Erwin but, it also pissed me off for a couple of reasons, and no, not because of his tone. It’s because of his ignorance. However, I am fully aware that I, as a reader of the story, get a first hand view of everything that happens. Flocke is a new recruit who was, up until recently, completely unaware of a lot that has gone on with the Survey Corps. 

Regardless though, he still slightly pissed me off and you asked so therefor, I will answer lol. The first thing I want to touch on is how he complains about being a coward who didn’t understand the dangers of the role he was playing in the Wall Maria reclaiming mission because people weren’t honest with him. 

BRUH…

For seventy years it has been no secret that at least 60% of all Survey Corps soldiers die on missions. Erwin point blank stated this when the 104th took to their ranks during his little joining speech. The dangers of fighting titans wasn’t something anyone tried to hide or keep tucked away in the hopes that soldiers would ignorantly join their ranks, and I doubt VERY highly that the dangers of the BIGGEST MISSION THE SURVEY CORPS HAD EVER PLANNED TO ATTEMPT was some massive smoke screen.

This dude knew his chances of survival were slim, and he also knew that his chances of having to sacrifice his life was very, very high. Especially since he originally refused to join to SC in the first place! Truthfully, this part right here just read off as someone who joined their ranks in the hopes of gaining some glory to me, and that made me salty. 

I did agree highly with his last question though. They all have every right to know how much their sacrifice is worth. I had this feeling deep in my gut the first time I saw the female titan arc. No one knew the dangers they were actually being put in, save for the veteran soldiers in the legion. Granted, it’s entirely understandable as to why but, at the same time, hundreds were lost without knowing why. That was a sad, and unfair thought, and a move I didn’t entirely agree with. So, I can understand Flocke’s viewpoint here. However, as I stated above, IT WAS NO SECRET PEOPLE DIED ON MISSIONS. 

Which leads me to the second and final reason his speech pissed me off:

That statement right there made me want to strangle this dude because he just outright undermined Levi to a severe degree. Not just Levi but, his bond with Erwin as well. As if Erwin wasn’t important to Levi too. Like Levi didn’t threaten to break this mans legs to try and keep him alive. Plus, he undermined how hard it was for Levi to ultimately make the choice he made. He shat on all of that in one sentence, and to make it worse, he called the choice an irrational one when he point blank states just one panel above this that he doesn’t know Armin well at all. 

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF IT’S AN IRRATIONAL CHOICE IF YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE PERSON YOU’RE BITCHING ABOUT?! 

Ugh, anywayssssss, let me lower my salt intake here and get to the point. 

I understand why people would question Armin’s survival over Erwin’s. I get it. Erwin was The Fucking MAN™ . He got shit done. Changed things in the walls for the better. He was the man with a plan and someone who sacrificed everything he had to learn the truth of the world. This leads me to why I think Levi ended up ultimately choosing Armin. 

Let me start off with this panel here and then work my way up.

Some of Kenny’s parting words to Levi. These words played a massive factor in Levi’s final decision. 

Erwin’s main goal, his dream, was to learn the truth of the world. He wanted to know what was beyond the walls and where the titans came from, and he wanted to learn all of this for the sake of his father. His goal was a worthy one and I am sad that he did not get to see it through but, his dream would have ended in Shiganshina one way or another. Whether he died, or whether he saw the basement; that was as far as his dream reached as far as Levi was aware at the time. [

Then we have Armin. 

Armin’s dreams would start outside of the walls. They stretched far beyond one end goal and one thing to fight for, and his dreams were ones he wanted to share with close friends. Much like how Levi had a dream he wished to share with his close friends back in the day too. Armin wanted to see the world. To explore and learn everything their was to know about life and land outside of their walled prison. This was Armin’s reason for becoming a Scout. 

So here we have two different people with different goals. Both of which Levi cares about and doesn’t want to see die. Both could help humanity. Both were brilliant and extremely intelligent. So, why Armin and not the seasoned commander?

Levi’s last words to Erwin are for him to let that dream go and to trust him to carry it out instead. I’m sure that Erwin was full aware that Levi had every intention of saving him if it was at all possible but, even knowing the risk towards his own life; Erwin accepted Levi’s order’s full on and with a relieved smile. Thankful to not have to burden himself under the guilt of wanting to abandon his post as Commander simply to learn the truth. For no longer having the chance to consider betraying all of those that were lost for a selfish goal. 

In the end, Erwin was absolutely selfless. and rid of the desire plaguing his heart. He was at peace with the position he was in and chose to ride with his men into the fray. All because Levi took the burden of their lives onto his own shoulders - something he never does - and because he trusted Levi to succeed. 

So, after this is said and done, we are left with Levi having to make a choice and duking it out with Eren and Mikasa on a rooftop for who will get the serum. Levi seems entirely hell bent on saving Erwin but, I believe what shook his firm resolve was this moment right here:

Ironic that Flocke is so quick to shit talk Levi’s choice when his comment right here is most likely one of the reasons Levi ended up choosing Armin.

Levi’s expression says a million different things in this one panel. The idea of reviving Erwin as a titan, to still lead and sacrifice people for a goal that Levi isn’t even sure exists at all breaks his determination. As far as he could see, Erwin just wanted to learn the truth. What Erwin would do after that was a mystery, even to Erwin himself. So, would it have been fair, after choosing to take his burden from him, to bring him back into the hell they scrounged in? All so he could continue to live as a “demon” even after achieving what he set out to accomplish? 

Levi still seemed to think so to some degree. Though, his intensity on the subject wanes just a bit after Flocke’s comment here, and a lot more after what Eren had to say:

Eren speaks of the dreams Armin lives and fights for. The very same dreams Levi had overheard the young boy ranting and glowing about the night before. Armin had something left to fight for, Eren was sure of it. Levi was too because he saw it for himself. 

Would Erwin have something left to live and fight for once he cleared his goal? Once he saw what was inside that basement and finally learned the truth? 

Would he have something to be drunk on to keep him going?

Would he make Erwin remain a slave to his inner demons in the hopes that he could continue on torturing himself?

The answer was no. In the end, Levi chose to let Erwin have his peace. Just like Kenny chose to finally lay down his desires and trust them to Levi for the sake of peace with a smile, Erwin did exactly the same and thanked Levi for doing so. Instead of betraying that trust, and possibly breaking his friend in the process; Levi let the “Demon Commander” rest, and gave the boy with so many dreams left to live and fight for a chance at making his dreams a reality. Levi made his choice out of care, experience, and what knowledge he had. Just like he always does. At least that is my opinion on that matter. 

Thank you for the ask, anon. I hope this answer is satisfactory for you. I apologize for the length and the lack of a Read More but, for whatever reason, that feature isn’t working on my laptop right now TT_TT