as i suspected gif

My face when the fandom tries to compare a brainwashed, drugged Ray’s crimes to that blonde Marshall Applewhite wannabe’s crimes.

Rika was literally controlling him, y'all. Don’t forget that. It wouldn’t make any difference if she was a man, I’d still hate his cult leader, ‘stabbing my ex cuz he doesn’t love me anymore’ ass. You can’t compare the situations, Ray is Rika’s victim.

She took a boy that knew next to nothing about the world because of his extremely abusive mother who didn’t let him outside, and started giving him a drug that flooded him with dopamine. She convinced him to hate his brother for leaving him in order to make him dependent on her and only her. Ray clung to her because she made him experience happiness for the first time, even if it was fake and drug induced.

The drug is never fully explained, but it causes hallucinations and makes you ill after prolonged use, and Ray has been using it for years. I know from my experience with psychedelics, that if your mind is not in the right place when you take drugs, it will seriously fuck you up. It can change your worldview and personality completely. Set and setting are extremely important, and mentally unstable individuals should not take it.

I was in a terribly depressed mood for hours once after taking LSD, just from watching the first episode of Trailer Park Boys, my mind was stuck on a loop of how truly terrible their lives are. This show is a fucking comedy, and it had me in a bad mental spot for about 6 hours. Just imagine what it would do to a boy who has had the life Ray has.

There’s a reason for the term ‘trip baby sitting.’ Other’s influences are really strong, and if you start to spiral into a bad place, you need someone to talk you through. Rika obviously used this vulnerable state that she induced in Ray to shape his mind for her selfish purposes.

I’m sure there was a trial and error period before they got the dosing to the point where people could function well while on it, so Ray has probably been in the state V was at one point or another. And we all saw how depressed V was after it began to wear off. Ray doesn’t take the elixer regularly because it hurts his stomach. So hes on a constant drug induced wave of depressed followed by a forced high from dopamine. Speaking of dopamine, his ability to produce it naturally is probably completely shot from prolonged use.

The elixer seems to have some psychedelic properties, but it’s definitely mixed with something else to cause physical harm. Psychedelics only cause psychological damage, hence the name, and there’s no known case of overdosing on them. Mixing drugs is very, very dangerous, and I can guarantee that Rika isn’t qualified to do so safely. Take note that we never see her taking it.

Long story short, Rika fucked Ray up mentally. If he stopped taking this drug, or never took it to begin with, I highly suspect he wouldn’t have been so committed to Rika or to ‘paradise.’ Would he be pretty fucked from past trauma? Definitely. But I really don’t believe he would be so far gone if Rika hadn’t lied and manipulated his mind.

All I’m trying to say here, is I’ve seen a lot of people defending her, saying the fans would like her if she was a guy, or excusing her actions because of mental issues, or saying Ray is just as bad, and that’s simply not the case. Ray sympathizers aren’t ignoring his crimes, we’re just aware that he’s been manipulated into them, and that makes all the difference. And its really a disservice to fellow fans to think they aren’t aware of or don’t care about the bad things Ray has done. We want him to be happy because he never stood a chance, because we know that deep down, he’s actually not a bad person, he’s just been used as a puppet for Rika’s selfishness, and that HE DESERVES BETTER.

Rika, however, seems to be truly, deeply malicious. No one is manipulating Rika. This is all her. I would hate her just as much if she was a man, because these actions cannot be excused no matter what. In my book, she’s just as bad as other cult leaders, like Marshall Applewhite and Charles Manson, who are, you guessed it, MEN. I have no sympathy for whose who use the vulnerability of abused people for their own purposes, which is a big reason I don’t like religion in general, but that’s a whole other rant that I won’t get into here.

Sorry for getting so serious, just felt it needed to be addressed. I’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming soon.

I have been suspecting that we’ll get an arc of Sam using witchcraft for a couple seasons, and now this moments kind of hammers the nail - what better than ‘I am brother, not witch, he is witch!’ ironically foreshadows Sam being brother and witch?

This season has been emphasizing Sam’s fascination with magic, he’s asked Rowena for help again, he’s connected with people who are hunters and witches at the same time, he’s told Magda that having powers doesn’t inherently make you evil but it’s a matter of choices - do you also think everything points to an arc where Sam finally uses supernatural powers by his own full choice?

Ok, but can we talk about this???? (Sorry for the terrible gif, but I couldn’t get a better copy of the promo)

Bernie has clearly just opened a package that she’s received that had in it (among other things, I suspect) and nice bottle of olive oil and a note she’s tucking into her scrub pocket.

Gee, who on earth has been traveling and might be sending Bernie a gift?

*incoherent fangirl screaming*

Little Love:

Words 1.6k - First Person

Those days were the easy days. Now my biggest problem is figuring out whether my ex who was sleeping with and got another girl pregnant was the father of my baby or if it was my best friend of years that I had drunken rebound sex with.


My hand shook and so did my chest as I tried to take a breath in. My eyes zoned in on the stupid little plus sign on the stupid little stick that I had to pee on and wait for what felt like forever to get a result from.

“Shit,” I whispered to myself. “Shit, shit, shit.”

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip to fight the sting of tears that wanted to slip from my eyes. It almost seemed that the weather outside was in tune with how I felt as the sound of the heavy rain beating against the window rang through my ears and echoed against the tiles of the bathroom.

Throwing the positive pregnancy test in to the bin beside the counter I take a deep breath and lean against the counter looking at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like shit, as if I hadn’t slept in a week and in truth I really hadn’t but I suspected that my pale, washed out face was more from the vomiting every time I got a whiff of a flower or anything else that carried a strong scent.

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“the suspect has to be a guy , the short brown hair and the force brought to the victims head indicate he was a body builder”
You chuckle , “that was sexist Spencer , I think the suspects a girl. Women can have short hair , and there was chips of paint found imbedded in the victims skin that I think could be nail polish.” You shoot back
“ It’s 2017 y/n , men can wear nail polish , and that doesn’t cover the body builder fact.” Spencer says , deeply offended you opposed him.
“ Yes but this murder looks deeply planned out , this murderer is smart and wouldn’t wear anything that would point him out , men wearing nail polish , stands out. And I’m a body builder Spencer , women can be body builders too”
“Wow boy genius just got out smarted” Morgan says in disbelief

A Terrible Past

(gif belongs to of-badges-and-guns)

Title: A Terrible Past

Pairing: Gibbs x Reader

Word Count: 959

Warnings: implied abuse from childhood, angst

A/N: I hope you are all having a great monday. Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! <3 <3 I love you all so much!

This was requested by anon: Gibbs learning about your abusive past? Possibly while you’re both captured by the very people who abused you when you were younger? #Angst

You and Gibbs were chasing a lead.  It wasn’t much of one, but a lead was a lead.  When you and Gibbs kicked down the door, you were surrounded by masked men.  They had their guns pointed at you and the Marine.  When you looked at Gibbs for further direction, he held his hands up in surrender.

“Nice to see you again [Y/N],” one of the men spoke.  You knew that voice.  It brought back terrible memories from your past.  It was one of your step-dad’s friends.  Your step-dad abused you as a child.  This man knew about all of it, yet he never did anything to help you.  He was the one who set your mom and your step-dad up.  “We’ll have to let the bossman know that you’re here.  He’ll want to see you.”

They escorted you and Gibbs to a small room.  They locked both of you inside, keeping one of the gunmen outside of the room as security.  There was no way out of this small room.  Your leaned your back against the wall as you sat down on the floor.  You couldn’t help but feel hopeless as you started to cry.

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Title: I Can Take A Hit
(gif belongs to of-badges-of-guns

A/N: Hope you all enjoy reading - any feedback is always welcomed and appreciated

Requested by Anon: “86 with gibbs?”
Word Count: 575
Pairing: Jethro Gibbs x Reader

86. “You got hit pretty hard.”

You were laid on the hospital bed with a face like thunder. It throbbed on the right side, your eye was pretty swollen and your ribs ached every time you even tried to move, not to mention the massive bruise on your right thigh. In the grand scheme of things you were okay, you felt a little woozy though it was the ache in your leg and ribs that were hurting the most. It was nothing compared to how embarrassed you felt to the suspect getting the upper hand on you.

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This scene really breaks my heart when you give it a second thought. All the other children in class seemed rather intriuged by the boggart except Draco. Why? He fears what the boggart will be, he fears that within a heartbeat everyone will know what his biggest fear is. Becuase he knows it won’t be as harmless as a giant spider or a clown, his fear will show the world what’s really going on inside of his head and he believes that the boggart will make him look weak. I suspect that Draco’s boggart is perhaps his father, or disappointing his parents. Under the constant pressure he is under with being a Malfoy, a fear of his must be failing. 

Imagine Chris being a supportive fiancé. (Part C)

A/N: Part 5C is here, wooooooo! Oh man, so excited for y’all to read this one. You can read the related mini-series and the previous parts here: (Mini-series - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Unexpected Reader’, ‘Little Ways Away’, and ‘She Said Yes’ - Masterlist; ‘Miss Graduate’: Part 1/Part 2A/2B/2C/Part 3/Part 4/Part 5A/5B)

As you walked out of the Starbucks to wait for Chris’ car to pull up, you spotted a paparazzi across the road taking photos of you. You tensed up and quickly dropped your head, wishing you’d brought your Yankees cap and sunglasses. But no, you just had to look professional for a meeting that didn’t even happen. You turned your back on the paparazzi and glanced at your phone, checking the time. You didn’t know where Chris’ meeting was or how long he was going to take, you didn’t know he was just down the road and was moments away when a car beeped at you. You turned as Daniel rolled down his window, “do you need a ride somewhere?”

“Chris is coming to pick me up,” you told him then scanned the vicinity. Your eyes caught the paparazzi happily snapping photos of you from afar and you felt like throwing up. “But he’s not here yet and there’s a paparazzi across the road and-” You huffed, knowing what kind of trouble you’d get yourself in if you got into his car. “Can you drop me at school?” You asked anyway; you couldn’t say there a second longer. “I’ll walk back to my old apartment from there.”

“Sure,” he nodded and you got into his car. You clicked on your seatbelt and he pulled away from the curb as you started to text Chris. “Tell him about the paparazzi while you’re at it, see if his management team can do some damage control before this car ride hits the front page.”

You were halfway through typing when Daniel beeped his horn and slammed on the brakes. Your body jerked against the belt across your chest and you looked up, smiling when you saw your fiancé’s car taking a park across the street. Chris got out as Daniel’s car pulled up next to the curb, waiting beside his car watching while you thanked your old professor for the help. Chris waved at Daniel as he drove away, raising a brow at you as you crossed the road.

“There was a paparazzi taking photos of me.” You explained and he sighed, feeling both guilt and empathy towards the uncomfortable situation you were constantly put in due to your being with him. “Professor Killian was at Starbucks and he offered me a ride, I didn’t know how long you were going to be.” He shook his head to let you know he didn’t care, then hugged you. “It didn’t go well, Chris.” You thought of lying, but you realized there was no point. “I didn’t even get past reception, they were all so mean.” You mumbled into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist and engulfing yourself in his warmth and comfort.

“I suspected as much,” he whispered when he kissed the top of your head. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he gently drew back, looking down at your face. “I should’ve done some research before I sent you to Geoffrey Davis, apparently he’s a bit of an asshole.”

“His receptionist is a total bitch too,” you huffed then laughed when Chris chuckled, squeezing your cheeks in his hand. “I’m glad you’re calm, I was a little afraid you’d get the Avengers to assemble.” You joked and his lips quirked in a smile. He was glad to see you weren’t taking the rejection too hard, but how could you when you had him in your life? He was perfect and capable of always making you feel better, drawing a smile from you even in your darkest days.

“Oh, I’m plotting a revenge,” he nodded and you giggled. “I’m just trying to think of something that won’t tarnish our reputation, ‘cause I think we’re better than that. But believe me, sweetheart. I am furious right now, I fighting every instinct to go in there and fuck shit up. My hand is itching to call someone higher up to kick him and his receptionist’s uptight, snobby ass to the curb.” You cupped Chris’ growing angry face in your hands, calming him down. “But I am not doing any of that because I am better than that, and like your mom would always tell you- those who whisper are scarier than those who yell.” He said and you nodded, smiling. “So screw 'em,” he grinned. “It’s their lost, you’ve got a better offer waiting.”

“Yeah,” your eyes narrowed in confusion, “what do you mean by that? What did you mean when you texted 'someone wants your story’? What story?” You asked and he bit back his smile, beckoning you into the car with his head. “Why can’t you just tell me now?” You chuckled as you walked around to your side of the car. “Where are we going, Chris?”

“Your old apartment,” he answered, pulling his car away from the curb and making a U-Turn. “I texted Seb and Ava to meet us there, I have a feeling you’re going to want your best friend around when you hear the great news.”

• • • • • • • •

“Oh my God!” Ava screamed, jumping up and down excitedly when the words 'the head of production at Sony Pictures said she’d buy our love story’ left Chris’ mouth. “Y/N!” She grabbed you by the arms and continued jumping, forcing you to do the same jump. You jumped, but there was no excitement as you were still trying to process what Chris had just said. “This is amazing, someone wants to buy your story!”

Chris smiled as he watched your best friend flip out over the news, but his smile faltered when he saw the expression on your face. Or rather, lack of expression, which worried him a little. Were you not happy with the news? Did you not hear him properly, or did you not understand what he’d just said? Were you upset because he went behind your back? Why weren’t you reacting like Ava did? You’d always told him about how you wanted your mini series to become something, and while that particular one wasn’t becoming something- Emilia still wanted a story similar to that; a romance that involved you and him. You should’ve been flipping out too, a big production company basically wanted a spin-off of your mini series; a dramatic, enticing, realistic, life-like experience that you would have no problem writing and nailing considering it was the last three years of your life.

“Oh wow, that is amazing,” Sebastian grinned. “Congratulations, Y/N.” He said and both he and Ava hugged you, you hugged them back with eyes narrowed at Chris. You were still confused as to what Chris had done, though shocked was the more appropriate word. “This must be a dream-” Before he could even finish his sentence, you interrupted.

“Chris, can I speak with you in private?”

“Uh oh. That’s not uh…” Ava pressed her lips together and took Sebastian’s hand; he had his lips tightly pressed together too. “That’s not a tone you want to stay for.” You heard her whisper to her boyfriend as she led him down the hall. The second her room door close, the conversation started with a serve from Chris.

“I don’t understand, Y/N,” Chris looked slightly hurt by your reaction. “I thought you’d be happy.” You sighed and sat down on the couch, patting the empty spot next to you. “I know I went behind your back,” he began, sitting down where you’d told him to. “But I did it with good intentions, you didn’t believe in your mini series and I-”

“No, stop. Stop, Chris.” You hushed him, taking his hands. “Baby, I’m not mad and I don’t need an explanation. I know you did it for me and I am very, very grateful. I just-” You sighed and he tilted his head, brows furrowed with confusion. “I don’t want to write about us,” you explained and his confusion increased; what had you been doing for the past almost three years? “Not with the truth, Chris,” you shook your head. “It’s too personal, I don’t want to share details of our relationship with the public. I don’t want-” You corrected yourself, “I can’t write about us.”

It suddenly dawned on him that you were right. He was so excited about the possibility of you achieving your dream, he didn’t think about the consequences paired with the decision he’d left you with: sell out your relationship for international success. You were right to decline, smart- unlike him. If you were to write about the relationship, about how the two of you met and became a couple and fell in-love- the world would be allowed inside your personal relationship. They would know everything that happened; your whole relationship’s intricacies. He didn’t want to share that with anyone- how you met, your friendship, when you fell in-love, the letter he wrote you, the notebook you wrote him. Those memories created together were yours to keep, not for the whole world to watch, relive, and criticize. It was too special, you were too special.

“I um…” He withdrew his hands and leaned back against the couch. “How did I not think of that?” He mumbled to himself, swallowing. “I am so sorry, Y/N,” he turned to you and you gave him a small smile. “I should have never gone behind your back, we should’ve talked about this before I- I fucked up, I am so sorry.”

“Hey, no,” you placed a hand on his knee. “You didn’t do anything wrong, you were just being a supportive fiancé.” He managed a small smile; he could’ve done that all day. “I know you want me to become something big, but I can’t use our relationship as a step towards that. How we got together, our love story? It is a great story, but it’s ours.” He nodded, playing with your hands. “I knew this would happen, that’s why I didn’t want to pitch the mini series.”

“But then I decided to be a smart-ass and went behind your back.” He pursed his lips and you chuckled softly. “So now you and our love story- you are both on the radar.” You narrowed your eyes and prompted an explanation with your facials. “Emilia wants the story, she thinks it could be an international success considering it’s the kind of love story every fan girl dreams of.” You felt your heart ache; you didn’t want to sell out your relationship, but international success sounded so good. “She’ll want first grabs, but she’s very particular when it comes to telling a story right. If you don’t like her, she’s got a few friends over at Warner Brothers and Twentieth Century Fox and- I don’t know, a few places, that she can get to meet with you.”

“Would she be willing to see my other pieces?”

“Yes,” he nodded and you smiled, then sighed when he said, “but not before she tries to convince you that our love story is the story you need to tell first. Look-” He cut himself off, sighing, because he was conflicted too.

Chris wanted you to find success, he needed you to achieve that dream of becoming a renowned screenwriter so he could achieve his dream of marrying you. But getting married wasn’t the only reason he wanted you to do this, he believed in you and your ability to create and inspire. Your love story was amazing, and if something as unrealistic and perfect as your mini series had the power to touch the hearts of those who read it…Wouldn’t a more realistic love story, one that had flaws like every other relationship in the world- wouldn’t it touch more hearts? Wouldn’t it teach better lessons, like how one should take a chance and not settle when it came to love? Were the two of you being protective, or selfish if you didn’t share that lesson with the world?

“Why don’t we just meet with Emilia and hear what she wants?” He suggested and you shook your head. “Y/N-” he huffed. “I know, I don’t want to let people into our relationship either. But this is a huge opportunity for you, this is a path you’ve been searching for. Are you telling me that now that we’ve found it, you don’t want to walk it?”

“I’m not going to walk it if it means I have to sell out our relationship, Chris.” Both your agitated tones meant that it was starting to become a bit of a fight. “I want success, yes. But I don’t want success like this,” your eyes started to sting as tears filled them. “I told you, I don’t need to be a famous screenwriter to be happy. I have you and-”

“What are you so scared of?” He reached for your face and brushed away the tears rolling down your cheeks. “We’re just meeting with her, we can discuss how we want to go about it. You’re the writer, the creative director- you can change it, you don’t have to write our relationship word for word. She just wants a story like ours, not our story exactly.”

“No,” you shook your head, sniffling.

“What are you so scared of, baby?” He asked again. After two and a half- almost three years of knowing and being with you, he knew it was fear stopping you for taking up the biggest opportunity of your life. Fear of what, however, he couldn’t tell. It was more than just not wanting to sell out your relationship with him because like he said, as the writer- you had control over what you wanted in the story. “Talk to me,” he gently urged. “Let’s work it out.”

“What if it becomes too much for you and you don’t want to be with me anymore?” You asked and started crying even harder. Chris frowned then chuckled softly as he hugged you, stroking your hair. “I don’t want you to hate me, Chris. This is our relationship I’m going to be writing about, you are an incredibly private person and-” You choked on your tears, sniffling. “I don’t want to lose you,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms tightly around him.

“You are not going to lose me,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “Never ever,” he drew back and cupped your face in his hands. “Do you hear me? Never ever, not even if it becomes too much because you are the person I need when it becomes too much.” You managed to chuckle even through your tears. “I want this for you and I trust you to go about it the right way, you are just as private as I am- I have no doubt you’ll write carefully and brilliantly. International success, Y/N,” he reminded you and a small smile played on your lips. “I can’t ask you to give that up, what if it becomes your biggest regret and you don’t want to be with me anymore?” He teased your concern, dragging your smile wider.

“My biggest regret will be not marrying you as soon as possible,” you leaned forward and kissed his lips. He smiled, thumbs brushing your wet cheeks as he kissed you back. In the hallway, Ava and Sebastian high-fived because they’d heard the whole conversation after pretending to enter her room by closing the door loudly.

“So?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up for you. “Are we doing this? Are we going to call Emilia?” You nodded and he started to dial, only to have you stop him. “What?” He narrowed his eyes when you took it from him. “I thought you said you wanted to do this?”

“I do,” you nodded, smiling. “But not before I marry you.” Tears welled in both your eyes simultaneously; Ava and Sebastian silent screamed at each other in the hallway. “It’s June now, and we’ve always said we wanted a September wedding so…” You trailed off, hoping he’d catch your drift. “I know it’s a lot of work to do in a fe-” He pounced on you, kissing you as you both fell back onto the couch.

“WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!” Sebastian and Ava jumped out of the hallway, cheering. You and Chris broke the kiss and turned to them, laughing. “We have so much to do,” Ava told you. “Holy crap, I’m the maid of honor so I have so much to do. Oh my God oh my God, Y/N-” She started towards you only to have Sebastian catch her wrist in his hand. “What are yo- No…” She breathed when Sebastian descended to one knee, pulling a small black box out of his back pocket.

“Oh my God,” you gasped, feeling your smile reach your eyes.

“Fuck yes, Sebastian Stan!” Chris whooped, chuckling when he brushed your gaze.

“I know I haven’t exactly been vocal about marriage, but I think we both know I didn’t have to be because everyone knows you are the love of my life and marriage was always in the picture.” Ava chuckled nervously, vision blurring as she looked down at the love she thought she’d never get. “These two years- they’ve been life changing. Every day I spend with you, I realize there is no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” He opened the little box, revealing the most beautiful princess cut diamond ring from Harry Winston. “I told Chris I’d propose when he decides to get married, so thank God he decided today because- I don’t think I can wait any longer to be engaged to the most amazing, beautiful, and talented girl I’ve ever met. So will you-”

“Yes,” Ava nodded vigorously. “Yes, Seb, yes.” Sebastian smiled wider than he’d ever smiled before as he slipped the ring onto Ava’s finger. “Oh my God,” she helped him to his feet and they shared a very lovely, post-engagement glow kiss. You and Chris both smiled at each other; he got off you and onto his feet, pulling you to yours. “I love you, Sebastian Stan,” Ava whispered, resting her forehead against Sebastian’s.

“Oh my God, here comes the tears.” You said as you and Chris walked over to the newly engaged, hand in hand. Chris chuckled, squeezing your hand; he was trying not to start crying himself. “We’re getting married,” your shaky voice reconfirmed with Ava when she turned to you. “Oh my God,” you both pulled away from your partners to hug each other, “congratulations, babe. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

“This happened because of you,” she reminded you and you chuckled. “Thank you for everything.”

“Thank you for finding me on Tumblr four years ago,” you smiled at her as the two of you broke the hug. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t. I wouldn’t be here, that’s for sure.” She smiled, squeezing your hands. “I love you,” you chuckled, hugging her again. “God, I love you.”

“Save that love for Chris,” she chuckled when she saw Chris roll his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “Or should I say, your husband in three months.” You pulled away from Ava and rejoined Chris’ side, smiling at him when he wrapped an arm around you. “Speaking of,” she turned to Sebastian. “It’s our turn to have a long engagement, I don’t how long but definitely way after their wedding.” Ava said and Sebastian nodded, chuckling in agreement. “There is simply too much to do,” both their gazes fell back on you and Chris, smiles on both their faces, “for the lovely future Mr. and Mrs. Evans.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @imaginesofdreams  @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @heartblackerthancoffee @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname  @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @rileyloves5 @buckys-shield @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @castellandiangelo @edward-lover18 @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @aekr  @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @camerica96 @thestarlighthotel @sf0206 (I’ve kept the original taglist which I will utilize when I’m back on one shots, but seeing as I’m working on the series now- I’ll just be tagging those I notice follow the series. Let me know if I left you out and I’ll add you back in.)


HEY remember this:

Mess Is Mine:
Part 1 - The Wolf On Your Doorstep
Part 2 - The Person in the Pitch
Part 3 - The Blood in the Bathtub
Part 4 - The Ravens on the Windowsill
Part 5 - The Truth in the Tales
Part 6 - The Shoe in the Suitcase
Part 7 - The Voices in the Vision
Part 8 - The Bench and the Boy
Part 9 - The Home in the Hide-out
Part 10 - The Chains in the Cold
Part 11 - The Head in the Halo
Part 12 - The Truth in the Nightmare
Part 13 - The Wicked in the Witch
Part 14 - The Blood in the Bunker

That’s right! It’s the Sammy series Mess Is Mine, complete with warm fuzzies and eepy creepy feels (wtf did I just type? …whatever. moving on…)

I’ve been working on this series for approximately 9billion+1 years and I just wanted you all to know, that I have officially starting writing Part 15. 

Like, my fingers -> on the keyboard, tippy tapping. Tap tap. There’s dialogue and shit. And Sam. There’s Sam. And Dean. And some Crowley. And a whole lot more. So though I can’t promise it will be out immediately, I suspect I will find time to finish it prior to the official end of the blog hiatus (end of May).

SO. Stick that feather in your cap and go re-read everything! Or read it for the first time! Or DON’T read it (but actually do). 

Love you guys!

I’d like to bring a bit of attention to Gimli’s last shot (see: Figure 1) in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). It’s lovely, it’s joyous, it’s brief, but it’s also terribly clever. 

“Why” you’re probably wondering, “is a shot of Gimli in awe of falling petals… clever?” 

It seems strange, I know, but with the help of The Silmarillion (1977), and a bit of patience for long text posts, all will become clear! 

To those who have not read The Silmarillion, which is entirely understandable because of it’s admittedly Biblical writing style and swift pace, I’m going to provide a summary of relevant points. You can read the bolded lettering and understand the basics of what I’m conveying, but try to read the unbolded bits as well if only to further your understanding.  

  • Eru Ilúvatar (God) is the all-powerful being who creates , or existence. This means that he is the only one who can create other beings without answering to a higher power because he is the highest power. 
  • He creates: the Ainur, the Maiar, Elves, and Men, respective to time of creation and power. 
  • The Valar, the fourteen Ainur who shape Eru’s into Arda, the world of which Middle-earth is only a continent (see: Figure 2), can create other beings only with Eru’s consent. 
  • Eru keeps secret from the Ainur and Maiar the dates he has set for Elves and Men to “wake”, or come to be, in Arda
  • Note: Eru doesn’t create the Dwarves.

“Then who does?” you’re likely wondering. 

  • Aulë - the Valar known as the Smith for his dominion over the “substances of which Arda [i]s composed” as well as his ability to forge those substances - is intrinsically creative

This is an excellent trait for making the Two Lamps or Melkor’s Chain, Angainor. However, Aulë grows impatient of waiting for the awakening of Elves and Men because he simply wants “learners to whom he [can] teach his lore and his crafts” (Tolkien 49). 

  • Thus, Aulë is driven to create dwarves, an unauthorized creation of sentient beings, upsetting Ilúvatar.
  •  In order to appease Ilúvatar, Aulë nearly destroys his beloved creations via hammer-blow. (see: Figure 3 below)
  • Luckily, Ilúvatar has mercy on both the Dwarves and Aulë. Seeing that the Dwarves are independent of Aulë because they cower in fear of destruction via hammer-blow, Ilúvatar deems their destruction unethical.

Of course, everyone is not so forgiving. 

  • “[F]earing that the other Valar might blame his work”, Aulë makes the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves “in secret” (Tolkien 49).  Secrecy - which indicates a lack of trust - is how he upsets his wife Yavanna Kementári, who holds dominion over all living things, including all flora and fauna. The latter of which involves trees. 

Let’s play: “How mad is she?”! 

  • Yavanna is not as mad as she could be, but upset enough to inform Aulë that “because [he] hid[] this thought from [her] until its achievement, [his] children [the Dwarves] will have little love for the things of [her] love” (Tolkien 51). 
  • She also says, “[Let] thy children beware! For there shall walk a power in the forests [Ents and the trees they protect] whose wrath [the Dwarves] will arouse at their peril” (Tolkien 53). 

Let’s play: “What could be the worst possible response?”! What Aulë says, of course: 

  • “Nonetheless they [the Dwarves] will have need of wood” (Tolkien 53).

This powerful familial and marital conflict is why Dwarves and organic beings - such as trees and Ents - are not fond of one another in any way. 

  1. Trees do not appreciate being felled by Dwarvish axes. 
  2. Consequently, Dwarves do not appreciate being physically destroyed by the same timber they need to fuel their forges. 

Recall: the very pillars of Moria are hewn into the shapes of trees because Dwarves, unlike Elves and Men, cannot walk through a forest safely. Therefore, imitation is the closest Aulë’s folk will come to experiencing a walk through the woods. 

Indeed, we can use Gimli himself as an example of the result of this hatred, for in The Two Towers (1954), he claims that it is madness which drives Merry and Pippin beneath the boughs of Fangorn Forest, home to - you guessed it - trees and Ents! He has been taught by Gloin that one must be psychologically disturbed if they desire to willingly interact with trees outside of exploitation. 

This is a hatred deeper even than that which divides Elves and Dwarves because it is caused by mutual fear.  

Now. Hopefully, I haven’t lost you, because we’re returning to the original point I was attempting to enforce: the above shot of Gimli the Dwarf (see: Figure 1) is terribly clever. 

If you are a fan of Tolkien’s works - as I suspect you are if you have reached this line of my incredibly lengthy text post - you are aware that Gimli undergoes a plethora of character development. 

The distrustful, bigoted, and materialistic Dwarf we first encounter…

…becomes the Dwarf who would willingly die fighting beside an Elf in battle. 

Indeed, Legolas of the Woodland Realm becomes Gimli’s dearest friend. The two explore one another’s worlds after the War of the Ring concludes. 

  • Legolas visits the Glittering Caves at Helm’s Deep at Gimli’s request, and Gimli visits Fangorn Forest at Legolas’s request. 
  • Even more so, when Legolas sets sail for Aman, Gimli is permitted to come with him. 

This is possibly the largest light-hearted middle-finger that has ever been given to Aulë, Yavanna, or any of the Valar. Permission for any race besides Elves to visit Valinor has never been granted before to a Dwarf. 

“But Leah…when do we really start to see this change?”

Evidence of this change is conveyed in The Return of the King via Gimli’s last shot, or Figure 1. 

Peter Jackson may have cut out the scenes showing Legolas and Gimli defying social norms by experiencing one another’s worlds, but he implied that it happened in a single shot: 

Gimli son of Gloin, a Dwarf, is shown appreciating the petals falling from a tree. And just like that, it is implied that an Ages-old conflict between Dwarves and the natural world…may be coming to a close. 

Really quite pleased with the plot for this one. The request presented a unique challenge that was kind of meta, but I think a slightly longer plot has worked in its favour. Enjoy, everyone!

Prompt[s]: I just woke up so I can’t really form any proper comments that this deserves but just know that I love it. And I can’t wait for part two.

How can you write so many great things? Stop, I can’t take so much thrill T-T // jokes aside, can you please tag me? I want to read part 2 as soon as it comes out.

‘Shock Factor’ (Part 2)

Part 1

It had been three weeks since your escape. You’d been on the run with Loki ever since, despite what you now knew. You’d not let a day go by without demanding to know what he insisted was the secret to your past. It hadn’t taken him long to tell you.

Once you were a safe enough distance from the facility, you had set up camp in a nearby forest cave. Whilst both of you were sat on logs around a fire, Loki let spill what he knew.
“I’ll admit, I don’t know everything,” he muttered, poking the flames with a stick.
“I swear, if you’ve made me a felon for some sort of half-truth, I’ll end you right now.”
“In my defence, you were a felon anyway, but fear not, it’s better than that.”

You rolled your eyes. Though it might not have been the most ideal situation, you did at least have some semblance of feeling at home in your cage. Regular ‘visits’ from the Avengers reminded you of something and it was closer than you’d ever come to answers, in all your years of searching.

“You’re from Midgard, but you’re also… not from Midgard,” he said, trying to figure out how to explain such things to someone with an intellect he considered lesser than his own.
“You’re not making any sense.”
“I suspected as much… Consider it this way,” he said, using his poker to draw two parallel lines in the dirt.

“This line is our universe, our timeline. You are from this other line; a different one of both. I don’t know how, but I suspect that your consciousness has been transferred from one timeline to another. Perhaps by some sort of machine, or perhaps your own mind has taken you there. The latter would certainly explain why you have neuro-electric powers in this universe.”

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The moon is presently eclipsing Skaia. From your fanciful dream room atop your golden tower, you have seen many remarkable things in the clouds. Things which you cannot explain. 

But against all better judgment, you have a feeling that what you are fondly regarding could very well be some sort of miracle.

The miracle of a new beginning.

Given the context of that line, that’s somewhat ominous. I suspect this “new beginning” involves Jane “ending”.

Dean/jensen meeting readers family? - This is crap. I’m so sorry.

You Don’t Know Me

“Fuck!” You yelled, throwing your phone down on the bed. Immediately, Dean and Sam both gave you confused looks and you sighed, then grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a chug from it, then slammed it back down on the table.

“Well don’t drag it out any longer, Y/N,” Dean laughed and stood up. “I know for a fact this time that I didn’t do anything. Sam, was it you?” Sam just glared at him and you rolled your eyes.

“My brother just texted me,” You sighed and put a hand to your forehead.

“Your brother has your phone number?” Dean tilted his head to the side.

“Yes, Dean. For emergencies only. He knows the drill.”

“Wait - your brother knows you hunt?” Sam stood up as well. “Does he know about us?”

“Yes and no,” You sighed again and started pacing. “But that’s besides the point. My parents found out I’m in town. They want me to come over for dinner.”

“So don’t go,” Dean laughed like it was nothing.

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