as i am loving alfred

Four rich fathers go golfing.

One of them stays behind to pay the bill and the other three proceed to the first hole. While golfing, the three fathers start bragging about their sons.

The first father says, “I am very proud of my son Arthur; he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel and now he is at the top!  He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second fathers says, “My son Ivan is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third father says, “Well, well, well - congratulations! My son, Ludwig, is also my pride and joy and is also very rich. He became an engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He built a mansion especially for his best friend.”

Then the fourth father catches up and they ask him how his son is doing.

The fourth father replies, "Oh, my son Alfred is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends shake their heads and say, “What a shame, you must be so unhappy! How tragic.”

The fourth father replies with a bright smile, “Oh no, I am not ashamed at all! Alfred is my son and I love him just as well; he’s my pride and joy. And he is much loved by his friends too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a Mercedes Benz, a brand new jet and a huge mansion from his three suitors?”

I bet aph america says things like “oh man!” and “oh boy!” a lot, regardless of the severity of the situation.

drops his papers? “oh man!”

sitting down to watch his favorite show? “oh boy!”

gets kissed by his s/o for the first time? “golly gee!”

Alfred Headcanons
  • Alfred likes to hum as he works, but only if he’s alone.
  • He sometimes pauses whilst dusting/cleaning when his eyes catch the portrait of Bruce with his parents.
  • He often smiles at the portrait.
  • When he feels lonely, he talks to the portrait.
  • Sometimes when Bruce is gone for too long, and Alfred doesn’t have a good feeling about it, he falls sick.
  • But when Bruce returns, he doesn’t let it show that he’s ill.
  • Sometimes when he’s alone (well, mostly), he apologizes to Bruce’s parents for not raising Bruce well.
  • When he has to stitch Bruce up, he doesn’t complain in front of Bruce, but then when he’s behind doors he breaks down and cries. Every. Time.
  • The one thing he’s very fond of is taking care of the plants outside the mansion. He trims them, waters them, and gently caresses them because plants have feelings too. (Ivy would be proud lol)
  • Alfred watches horror movies with a poker face
  • Bruce goes without eating for days. Whenever that happens, Alfred also starves himself.
  • Alfred admires Sebastian Michaelis

one day I’m going to be able to post a Gotham gifset without Alfred/Bruce shippers reblogging it but not today I guess :))))

Surprise!

Hi! There was a similar request for this so I simply decided to put these two requests together so I hope the requesters don’t mind! I love writing about Bruce, it’s always so fun to write him. Anyways, thank you for sending in your requests and hope you enjoy this!


“Are you sure you have to go back?”

The frown on Bruce’s face deepens as he continues to watch you pack a few of your clothes in to your luggage. You have been doing this for the last half-hour and the more clothes he sees you pack, the sadder he becomes. You are now slowly and methodically rolling each of your clothes, stuffing them in your luggage.

“I haven’t been home in a while, love and I really miss my parents too.” You tell him when you finish putting in your necessities in your luggage. You still need to pack the presents you have gotten for your parents – having been away from home for about three years, you are really excited to go back home to see your parents and to eat your mum’s food! That’s one of the thing you missed the most about being at home.

Bruce definitely does not pout. He wants to but he doesn’t so Bruce ends up crossing his arms instead, leaning against the headboard. He feels a little bit conflicted. He wants you to spend Christmas with him but he also wants you to go meet your parents and he mulls the option he has in his mind.

“I’m not going to spend Christmas without you, Y/N.” Bruce finally confesses but the moment you turn to face him, you steal his breath once more with nothing but your smile. You chuckle before leaning forward to press your lips against Bruce’s lightly, chuckling.

Bruce gives you a sheepish smile. “Must you go?” He asks once more even though he already knows your answer. He knows how long you haven’t visited your parents but Bruce doesn’t really want to spend Christmas without you and he’s wondering what he can do to try and not let you go off to visit your parents.

You nod your head. “Of course! Like I said, I really miss my parents and I also miss my mum’s food – no offense to Alfred’s because his food is delicious too but I really do miss my mum’s cooking.” You tell him, pressing both of your hands against his cheeks, laughing to yourself at the face Bruce makes.

Bruce sighs before he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you against him. “Then what am I going to do with your present?” He asks, looking at you. You release his face and raise one of your eyebrows. “I ordered them specifically from your hometown and they are going to be here by Christmas Eve.” Your eyes widen when you finally realize what in the world Bruce is telling you.

You gasp, pulling back to stare at him with your jaw hanging. “You didn’t!” Your hand flies to your mouth and you continue to stare at Bruce. He gives you a very cheeky smile. Your eyes are tearing up by this point, not really believing your fortune.

Bruce nods his head. “Although if you happen to not be here in Gotham, I suppose I can hang out with your parents instead.” He teases you and you let out a teary laugh, throwing your arms around his neck, hugging him, sniffling slightly. Bruce chuckles, rubbing your back delicately.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier!” You almost whine, using your hand to wipe away the stray tears that manage to fall down your cheeks. “What if I actually had gone back home?” You pull back to look at Bruce once more.

Bruce shakes his head. “Alfred knows not to let you leave without me around and my pilot also knows if you manage to step on to the private jet, he will probably will fly in circles for a bit before landing and bringing you back here for your surprise.” Bruce presses his lips against your cheek. “Besides, this was supposed to be your Christmas present.” He rolls his eyes at you, causing you to poke him on the ribs, making Bruce chuckle slightly.

Your eyes sparkle with love and the smile on your face widens. You lean forward, placing your hand on his chest, pressing your lips on his. The kiss is gentle at first but when Bruce puts his hand behind your neck and pulls you closer, the kiss immediately turns heavy and heated as he deepens the kiss. You run your hand through his hair before you pull away from him.

“Thank you for the early Christmas present, Bruce.” You whisper and Bruce shakes his head, rubbing the back of his hand on your cheek. A smile appears on your face. “I really am so lucky to have you in my life.”

“I’m the lucky one.” He corrects you and you roll your eyes before pressing a chaste kiss on his lips. “So, tell me you are going to stay and spend Christmas with me?”

You laugh and nod your head. “Of course! I will spend my Christmas with you, the family and my parents.” You correct him and he nods his head. “I am so excited; I think my mum will absolutely love Alfred!” You can already imagine the chaos your mum will make with Alfred – your mum is honestly a very open and fun woman and they will definitely hit it off together! Your Dad will most likely enjoy going through the books in the library too because he absolutely loves reading books. But then you freeze for the slightly bit before turning to look at him. “Will they be taking the private jet?” You ask him.

Bruce nods his head. “Yes, I’ve taken care of everything so don’t worry, Y/N. Your parents will be here for Christmas.” He assures you and you nod your head, satisfied with his answer before turning in his hold, getting comfortable in his hold. Bruce presses a kiss on your temple.

gUYS I finally watched Gotham 3x14!!!  The episode with all the best gifsets!  The face-off between Bruce and Jerome!!! (pun absolutely intended)  There are SO MANY WONDERFUL THINGS

I CANNOT EVEN

  • Every single interaction between future Bats and future Joker (we all know it’s him, come on)

  • The way Bruce thinks so quickly, manipulating Jerome into postponing his murder till there is an audience, and how proud Alfred is of him, and how Bruce has to leave thinking that Alfred is about to be killed.  The way Bruce’s jaw clenches and he growls “I will see you again” to the only family he has left, the man who has been a father and teacher to him, whom Bruce probably believes he will NOT see again in this life.  Yes, I’m pretty sure Bruce thinks he is going to die, no matter if he plans on fighting to the last breath
  • Bruce’s thick turtleneck sweater.  If it was anyone else wearing that thing, I would not be able to take him seriously.  But Batman can wear what he wants.  And he actually makes it look good…well, okay

  • Bruce’s glorious tangled and curly hair.  GLORIOUS

  • Ya know, going back to the scene where Bruce tells Alfred he will see him again.  The look in that’s kid’s face is INTENSE.  He just stares/gazes/burns with the ferocity of a thousands suns in his eyes.  That’s Bruce Wayne for you, communicating all the emotions of his heart in his glance.  Or maybe it is more than just the communication.  Maybe he is staring at Alfred so intensely, not just to convey his love for the man or to give and receive strength, hope, or courage, but also because he desperately needs to memorize the face of his father figure.  Who is probably about to die.  Ugh.  AND THEN Jerome grabs his ear and pulls him away, and it should be humiliating, like that’s something an adult does to a little kid who has done something bad, but Bruce burns with such anger and ferocity and fire that the whole thing is ridiculous in how clearly Bruce is above Jerome…even if he is momentarily forced to go with him

  • ugh the carnival is just absolutely depraved.  and the things Jerome does there, in front of Bruce and to him, would scar me FOREVER.  Maybe I would be brave and fight back, maybe I wouldn’t.  But I wouldn’t bet against me also just freaking out.  Because this stuff is intense.  But Bruce manages to hold it together, and yeah, sometimes he shakes and squirms and maybe he is afraid but also I think he is about ready to eXPLODE IN RAGE

  • ok YES the carnival.  horrid place that it is, it has some of my favorite scenes of Bruce Wayne in the whole show.  I absolutely live for the moments when older Bruce/Batman shows up in flashes, the moments when someone says or does something and you just see Bruce click and his mind levels up just a step closer to being the Dark Knight of Gotham

  • “That’s not true.  There are good people in Gotham.”  Cue Bruce Wayne standing up for the little guys, for the normal people, for the citizens, the men, women, and children who are just trying to live life and not get caught up in corporate greed, mob warfare, and crazy psycho villain schemes.  THIS is what Bruce fights for.  THIS is what Batman will dedicate his life to.

  • “Face it, kid.  Gotham has no heroes.”  *cue music that is faintly reminiscent of the Batman Begin’s soundtrack, all while Bruce stares at Jerome and no doubt screams internally VERY WELL I WILL BE THAT HERO!!!!!*  I mean watch the kid’s micro-expressions, you can see the words hit him, you can see the thoughts flash through his head as he blinks and his eyes twitch this way and that.   And then he just gazes downward for a moment.  AND THEN HE SHOVES JEROME IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE THE GUY ABOVE THE TANK.  YES.  He DELIBERATELY ATTACKS THE GUY WHO WANTS TO KILL HIM IN THE HOPES OF SAVING SOME RANDOM PERSON HE HAS NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE.  THIS IS BATMAN.  “YOU WANT TO KILL SOMEONE, LET’S GET ON WITH IT.  COME ON!”

  • David Mazouz is A FREAKING GOOD ACTOR

  • THE STAPLES.  MY GOSH THE STAPLES.  Okay so first of all Bruce is ticked off at the one guy’s murder, not scared, mind you, just ANGRY and so he is all biting and “did that hurt?” when Jerome staples his face back on.  So then Jerome STAPLES HIS ARM.  OW.  But Bruce just flinches.  Doesn’t make a sound.  And I think it took him by surprise, too, which makes his lack of a verbal response even more amazing.  Jerome is clearly taken aback, and then he staples him AGAIN and Bruce just flinches quietly AGAIN.  Like, dude, THIS is the type of kid who will grow up to haunt Gotham’s streets and take kicks, punches, bullets, and whatever else you throw at him every single night of the week.  BUT THEN.  In one of the most gut-wrenching things of this episode so far (and there have been plenty and will be still more), the third time Jerome shoots a staple into Bruce’s arm, Bruce cries out and begs him to stop.  And this KILLS me, because sure this is Bruce Wayne, future Batman, but the key word is future.  Bruce is still a KID.  A freaking teenager who should not have to go through this but is because he is the bravest, most caring kid I have ever seen.  He is GOOD and he is in PAIN and he can’t help what some might consider a moment of weakness and it breaks my heart.  I want to give him a hug so bad…  (side note there was more of the cool Batman Begins music playing during this sequence)

  • DID I MENTION DAVID MAZOUZ IS A FREAKING GOOD ACTOR?!

  • HOW ABOUT BRUCE FREAKING WAYNE PULLING THE STAPLES OUT OF HIS OWN ARM AND USING THEM TO FREE HIMSELF FROM HIS HANDCUFFS BEFORE HE COULD BE SKEWERED BY A CANNON BALL AND SOME KNIVES?!?!  BADASS SON

  • okay, so once he has escaped the handcuffs, Bruce slips out of the circus and makes his way home to the manor where he has a complete breakdown and then sleeps for the next twenty-four years NOT!!!!  NOPE.  Instead, Bruce lures Jerome into the mirror house where he proceeds to stalk the guy.  “I didn’t come here to hide.  I wanted you to follow me.  You’re going to pay for what you’ve done.”  INTENSE BRUCE IS INTENSE

  • Bruce proceeds to beat the HECK out of Jerome and nearly kills the monster BUT HE DOESN’T.  AND THEN HE LETS OUT A VISCERAL SCREAM

  • (side-note like I am literally shaking at this point, that’s my bby Batman I love you so much my son)

  • the look on Bruce’s face when he sees Alfred alive…and you realize that he fully believed that Alfred was 100% dead, and even believing that Jerome killed the last family he had on earth, even then, he STILL didn’t go through with killing Jerome.  BBY BATMAN IS HERE GUYS I CAN’T I AM SO HAPPY 

  • BRUCE AND ALFRED HUGGING GAH

  • HOLY HECK THAT LAST SCENE WITH BRUCE AND ALFRED!!!!!!  Like, we have Alfred being his wonderful self, patching Bruce up and trying to cheer him up, distract him, give him advice, help him open up.  And Bruce is there just staring and staring, and he looks so thin and a little traumatized but also filled that Bruce Wayne/Batman intensity, and his hair is GLORIOUS and his jaw is SET and GUYS this is a mOMENT.  

  • “I almost killed him, Alfred.” “Oh, but you didn’t though, did you.  You controlled your anger.” “It wasn’t just anger.  After everything Jerome had done, after all the pain he caused, the idea of killing him, it felt…” “It felt right.” “Yes. It felt like justice.”  GAH  JUST LIKE.  BRUCE DOES HAVE WRATH BUT HE RECOGNIZES IT.  HE KNOWS THAT KILLING JEROME IN THAT MOMENT WOULD HAVE BEEN WRONG.  EVEN WHEN IT FELT RIGHT.  THE WHOLE FINE LINE THING.  THAT’S MY BOY

  • ALFRED TELLING BRUCE THAT HE IS GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE RULES FOR HIMSELF!!!  “Rules that you cannot, and will not, break.  Never mind the reason.  Never mind the circumstance.”  

  • “I will not kill.”  OMG YESSSSS!!!  JUST!  THOSE WORDS! THAT PROMISE TO HIMSELF AND ALFRED!  ALL WHILE HE IS GAZING DOWN SO INTENSELY.  AND THE MORNING SUN RISES GOLDEN IN THE BACKGROUND.  HE JUST HALF-WHISPERS THOSE WORDS, AND IT IS A PROMISE, A VOW, AND I WANT TO CRY EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS WHOLE FREAKING SHOW I LOVE BRUCE WAYNE WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL I HAVE CHILLS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY SPINE AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH  AND THEN ALFRED MAKES HIM REPEAT IT AND BRUCE LOOKS UP AND JUST FORCES THE WORDS OUT I KEEP USING THE WORD INTENSE BUT THAT WORD WAS MADE FOR BRUCE HE IS SO FREAKING INTENSE AAAAAAHHHHH

  • DAVID MAZOUZ WAS BORN TO BE BATMAN WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM WHAT A FANTASTIC ACTOR

Alfred F. Jones is an oblivious happy-go-lucky son of a bitch who just wants to be happy and make everyone else happy but doesn’t realize that his way of doing so is annoying and attention-seeking and he needs someone who is PATIENT and KIND and will CALMLY explain to Alfred the problems with his choice of actions and who will also listen to Alfred’s own explanations and emotions and let me tell you that person is Ludwig Beilschmidt and he will treat Alfred right and in return Ludwig receives so much love and support from Alfred I am telling you right noW this relationship is HEALTHY

Rusame headcanons <3

fuck correct grammar and capitalization am i right or am i right
/人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕ 人\

russia lOves to tease alfred about being underaged
alfred gets v salty about it and russia thinks “o sHiT!!! wHat a cUtiE!!!”

when they argue and throw insults back and forth everybody gets lowkey scared but then they start hugging and cuddling with “im sorry” being said over and over again

they have 0191827263629109182737493010198237 cats

america gets v sad when he’s alone for a while (bc once he’s left alone for awhile he starts thinking about the revolution n shit) and then russia is like “o sHit!! im back” n russia runs to his sides w/ lots of hugs and comfort

even tho i tHINK it was confirmed that al is “big boned” i still imagine him with a flat sTOMACH YA KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN- *intense coughing*
and ivan is like “hot”’

everybody is confused about them bc like one minute they’re arguing and the next cuddles and flowers

when they confessed their love for each other it was kinda accidental

*i’ll make more soon and probably make a nsfw one next and i’ll most likely will write a fanfic about the love confession and probably a proposal fanfic along w/ that so stay tuned ;)))*

this looks… interesting

[Submitted by @skye–walker–walker, thanks friendo]

(Warning: light mention of assault.)


Eclipsed

Boisterous laughter came from the Bowman & Arms tavern, and the sounds of hoots and hollers that followed could be heard echoing throughout the small village. 

Inside, a ruddy faced knight received many a clap on the back after having downed his fourth mug of mead that night. His butterscotch blonde hair flew wildly in all directions, cowlick protruding proudly from his head, bobbing and weaving with every action he took. He was the perfect knight - heroic, obnoxious, ruggedly tanned and a strapping body simply screamed chivalrous youth. Freckles spread across his cheeks and nose, the backs of his hands, down the side of his neck. He was the golden child of the gods. With a surprisingly low alcohol tolerance.

The staggering Cavalier caught many hooded leers as he tried to make his way to his room in the inn across the street. It was only when he was outside did one take action - some nameless man slammed his tipsy form to the wall and began a messy and painful assault on his mouth as he pawed at his clothing, scraggly beard scraping his chin, leaving a greasy mark. Alfred, while he was extremely drunk, realized this was not what he wanted and tried to shove the man away, but the man simply pinned his arms above his head and ran a dirty and calloused hand up his shirt, filthy nails scraping pure and untouched skin. Alfred squirmed uncomfortably, upset. He wanted to leave, and quickly. Much to his drunken alarm, the man began to drag him to the ground, sitting on top of him and pinning him to do as he pleases with-

-before he was thrown off in an incredible display of force.

Alfred glanced up groggily, immensely thankful that the man was gone, only to lay eyes on a Necromancer.

He was the exact mold of a proper Necromancer, too. A simple dark cloak billowed around his wide form, tied together by a rope binding and a few silver clasps. Long platinum hair framed his incredibly pale face, violet eyes flashing and deep creases forming between his eyebrows as he spat something angrily in a language Alfred didn’t understand. High boots were laced to his knees, trapping billowing pants and a simple undershirt beneath his cloak. He was, Alfred allowed himself to admit in his drunken haze, an extremely handsome man.

The other man scampered away quickly, muttering dark words and wiping away blood from where the Necromancer had heartily punched him in the jaw. Alfred swallowed dryly, dreading what came next. He had never been fond of their kind. 

But much to his surprise, the man turned to him with concern alight in his eyes and sprawled across his face.

“Can you stand?” He said softly, offering a hand. Alfred tried to clasp it but missed, his hand falling and slapping the wall behind him painfully. The man winced. Then, before Alfred’s hammered mind could process what was happening, he was lifted into bridal style by the mysterious stranger as he began to walk. Alfred blinked a few times, confused. He was A) not dead, which was strange considering the man holding him was of such a dark breed of wizard, and B) being held with a strange gentleness he had not received since he was young. Desperately, he tried to form words. They ended up a garbled mess.

“Wuss yer nahm?”

The man glanced down at him, face alight with moonlight. He yielded a small smile. 

“Ivan.”

Ivan… it suited him.

Ivan continued his brisk pace and arrived to the inn Alfred was originally headed to. Once he checked the smashed man in, he brought him to his room and gently lowered him onto his bed. When he turned to leave, Alfred gave a warped yelp. Ivan turned around, alarmed, and started when he noticed Alfred was crying.

“Why do you cry, маленький? Did he hurt you?”

Alfred sniffled pathetically as he raised a hand and pointed towards his chest clumsily.

“Stay wi’ meh, Van.”

Ivan’s face went from alarm and melted into a strange mixture of sadness and… love?

“I am sorry, but I cannot.”

At there words, Alfred began to cry harder, clutching his stomach. Ivan tsked and walked over to him, gathering the boy in his arms and pressing him to his chest gently.

“Hush, дорогой. It will be all right.”

They stayed like this for a few minutes more, Alfred calming down, cradled in his arms as Ivan pressed his lips to Alfred’s ear and cooed comforting words in a language Alfred did not understand. When he finally detached himself from the heavily intoxicated knight, he pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek to clear a tear that had fallen. Then, he rose and left to exit the room, stopping before opening the door.

“Perhaps we will meet again one day, маленький цветок,” he murmured. When he received no response, he turned to look at Alfred, only to find that he had fallen asleep. Ivan smiled sadly. Perhaps this was better.

And the two parted ways.


Translations:

маленький - Little one
дорогой - Darling
маленький цветок - Little flower

It was the morning of Alfie’s birthday, and he planned on partying for the next twenty-four hours. Sure, twenty-seven wasn’t a huge birthday, but he was too depressed about his boyfriend leaving to think twice about it.  “Come on the nights only begun…” he laughed, before shoving his bottle of jack which he’s been nursing for a good thirty minutes. “Hold this I’m gonna run up tha’ wall there.” the Englishmen snorted. “Gonna touch the ceiling.” he giggled, he didn’t even have to make a bet. No, instead the short man ran and just barely grazed it before slipping back down and giggling again. “Pay up, bitch.”