as backup

anonymous asked:

Does Tony let you have any pets in the tower or does he threaten to take all of you knives and guns away if you bring it up?

(You can find this ask and the two previous here on AO3 with correct punctuation, if you’d prefer it in that format. -Mod Hell)

when i moved in, he had a hard ‘no pets’ policy, and then a month later, he  brought the bots over from california, and all of us smelled weakness. tony’s got a soft spot the size of the hulkbuster.

 nat was the first–her girl liho, a little black sootstain from hell, turned up in the kitchen one day, and none of knew where she’d come from. she’s just as quiet and sneaky as nat is, with a creaky little meow and claws like a tiger. we have no idea how long nat had her before the rest of us found out. it may have been years. and tony’s a genius, so he made complaining noises but did not actually threaten the black widow’s cat. 

clint knows a good shot when he sees one, so as soon as tony had gotten over the cat thing, lucky turned up. and lucky loves everyone, grouchy billionaires included, and if that wasn’t enough, he met nick fury and they instantly bonded over one-eyed badass things, so now tony can’t kick lucky out because 1. nick fury would kill him and 2. tony secretly loves lucky back.

recently, tony also acquired a cat. his name is mr. stank. don’t listen to tony on this one. 

sam has an undetermined quantity of pigeons. sometimes they come inside, which is basically like having a hurricane of feathers come blasting through the common room. tony hates it–he always winds up with down in his beard, but somehow a state-of-the-art pigeon coop wound up on the roof anyways. it’s self cleaning. sam literally took a bullet for tony a week later as thanks. (it was in his arm, he’s fine)

backup showed up one day, and through a really complicated series of events in which 1. he was tangled up in a captain america tee shirt 2. steve vanished for a high-stealth mission without warning, and was incommunicado 3. backup is really really good at frisbee, we mistakenly assumed steve had somehow gotten turned into a dog. 

i know it sounds ridiculous, but this is how we live. it could happen. 

backup is a smart dog. like, suspiciously smart–im still not convinced he’s not a shapeshifter who got stuck. but we only realized he wasn’t steve when steve himself showed up in the tower, back from the op. and even then, we had to show tony both steve and the dog together to convince him that backup was just a regular dog, and by then we had no choice but to keep him. 

(i have some really great footage of tony getting into an argument with backup-as-cap. it’s incredibly one-sided, and somehow tony still lost.)

2

Last night dream. Allura and Coran discussing with Paladins how they should start keeping in mind of choosing potential substitute pilots of their lions and then..

Hunk: Like, we can choose anyone we think has potential?

Coran: Yes Hunk, like I sai-

Hunk: *slams hands on table* SHAY

8

the darkness comes closer and closer

sam cant actually fly, hes just so annoying the earth repels him