Just then, in that moment, the thought of Gansey leaving for D.C. without him was unbearable. They had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reasons why he couldn’t say it.
“Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you’re really doing it to them,” Amma said, pulling another Blow Pop from her pocket. Cherry. “Know what I mean? If someone wants to do fucked-up things to you, and you let them, you’re making them more fucked up. Then you have the control. As long as you don’t go crazy.”
I’m brushing the corner dust, the carpet fluff from my blister-white tennis shoes. Home-bleached with rubber gloves, pinched nose, smelling dizzyingly of Clorox, and I love them. They make me feel powerful. They were the shoes I bought the day I made squad.
the problem with wanting (is that it makes us weak) | a darkling/alina from the grisha trilogy mix | [listen on 8tracks]
1. skin, blooms2. lose your soul, dead man’s bones3. devil inside, london grammar4. carter (cut), arthur beatrice5. iron (acoustic), woodkid6. night time, the xx7. in the room where you sleep, dead man’s bones8. the wolves (act i & ii), bon iver9. falling, catching, agnes obel 10. no rest for the wicked, lykke li
What a strange, shifting person he was. The Gansey who turned to her now was a world away from the lofty boy she’d first met. Without any hesitation, she stretched her arms around his neck. Who was this Blue? She felt bigger than her body. High as the stars. He leaned toward her — her heart spun again — and pressed his cheek against hers. His lips didn’t touch her skin, but she felt his breath, hot and uneven, on her face. His fingers splayed on either side of her spine. Her lips were so close to his jaw that she felt his hint of stubble at the end of them. It was mint and memories and the past and the future and she felt as if she’d done this before and already she longed to do it again.
Oh, help, she thought. Help, help, help.
He pulled away. He said, “And now we never speak of it again.”