Freeing oneself.

I feel as though I must have a clean environment in order for me to actually sit down and work. 

If I know something is out of place I just can’t work. It’s something in the back of my head ringing over and over again. I cant stop thinking about it. I’m starting to think I have OCD, who knows.

But seriously. I clean before I write. 

It’s a habit I choose to pick up. I believe that if you have a clean room you have a clear mind. It makes life easier… Organizing, sweeping, cleaning… Everything must have its’ place or it has no purpose. 

I am mechanical. 

artschoolreject asked:

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Aww man, this is one good and tough question…

I would rather lose all of my old memories. Although there are those breathtaking memories I’d want to keep forever, I think it’s better to move on than dwell on the past. At least, that’s what we were taught right? To look forward to the future, and not the past? And honestly, losing my old memories and starting fresh would be one hell of an adventure. And I love adventures :)

Plus, I’d rather remember my wedding day, my babies’ first steps, or even growing old.. than remembering my adolescent years.


My dorm isn’t equipped with wifi therefore I must hook my laptop up to an ethernet cable. Let me backtrack..

At the beginning of my semester I had to download this software called Cisco Clean Agent in order access my universities’ network.

Just recently (this morning)..The software fucked up and won’t let me access the internet, Thus I am without internet. 

Luckily, my awesome roommate is letting me use her MacBook. MacBook’s are confusing but sexy.. More so confusing. I got this though.

Halloween is just around the corner and I am waiting for my costume to get here.

I told a few people what I’ll be… But I think for now I’ll keep it on the hush. I can tell you that I’m super excited for Halloween weekend.

All that will be on my mind is fun, candy, and more fun. 

As for this weekend I plan on studying for my Political Science midterm and doing a walk for Breast Cancer tomorrow. Work hard to play hard?

So I'm transferring from FDU

Actually I withdrew from the university completely. lol

Right now I am eighteen, unemployed and not going to school.

Err-actually in between choosing which college I should spend the rest of my 3 ½ years at according to my mom who puts it so nicely.. “YUH SCUNT BETTER CHOOSE A FUCKING COLLEGE OR I AM NOT PAYING FOR YOUR SCHOOLING ANYMORE.”

Again.. I got stuck with a college because Drexel and New School is waiting on my transcripts to finalize their decision..Which is withheld because of my lovely English professor who probably got lost getting coffee never put my final grade in..

So between my mom’s lack of patience and my acceptance to Montclair State University… I think I’ll just call it a day and go to MSU..

It’s my safety school but oh well. I originally wanted to apply for TCNJ but they require that you have at least 2 years at a University before even attempting to transfer. 

I never bothered to finish my application for Rutgers and Temple even though I pretty much knew I would get in.. I just didn’t want to pay the application fee. lol 

$65 is a lot of money in general.. You know what I could do with that money… Get a mani, pedi, and eyebrows done then still have enough money to get a value meal at Wendy’s. Yes, I’m serious.

But back to my story.

Yeah so Rutgers and Temple was out.

I never applied to Kean because it was waaaay too close to home. Literally Kean is 10-15 minutes from my house. If I had a car and a license I would commute there rather than live on campus.

NJCU, William Patterson, Saint Peters, and UCC was a hell no. (For various reason, lest I have to explain and make this post longer than it already is)

NJIT didn’t have my major.

I don’t really care for Rider.

Montclair State was pretty much a winner. Because:

  • Most of my professors teach at MSU so I’m getting the same quality education I had at FDU instead at MSU.
  • It’s cheaper. Like almost $10,000 a year. FDU was $43,000.
  • It’s a larger campus.. I got tired of the smallness of FDU. 
  • The classes aren’t too big like example: Rutgers.
  • It’s close to home. Montclair is only 25 minutes up the parkway. Not that I would shy away from college further away from my parents.. I applied for Drexel (in Philly) and New School (in Manhattan) for jesuit sake.
  • They gave me a decision before Drexel and New School.

That sums it up.

See you later this month Montclair. 

Burning Bridges.

I’m cutting off my ties.

Deleting people off facebook.

Off tumblr.

Out of my phone.

Out of my life.

Maybe once upon a time we were good friends but sometimes you have to live in the now. And I have to stop feeling like a fool chasing the leftovers of what we once had in common. I don’t see any point to keeping people around anymore. Or perhaps it’s my feelings of misanthropy showing, who knows. 

In conclusion: (What I mean to say is…) I am growing apart from people who I thought I had this singular closeness. It sucks.. But I feel that the feelings are mutual. And yes I did make the effort to keep in contact once in a while even though I was BUSY too. 

Here’s to independence and moving on. Cheers. 

I forgot to upload a picture of my first Rave Candy piece.

Ever since I received it from this random Asian chick I never stop wearing it.

I need to go to more raves, hopefully next semester.


I took a seven hour nap

Both my eyes are bloodshot around the iris. I have a weird red ring around them… I’m thinking this is due to the fact I wear my contacts religiously everyday…That and I slept in them a few days ago.  

This is my body telling me to wear my glasses…

As I make an appointment with my optomitirist… I will geek up my wardrobe more than usual with my black and orange rimmed emo-esque plastic prescribed glasses. 

Oh how I don’t miss you glasses.


I took my seven hour nap in preparation for English homework and whatever else there is for me to do.

Because my roommate is conveniently not here, I know I won’t be as distracted as I am every other day. It’s not that she’s loud or annoying..It’s just that I have too much of a good time when I’m around her and I lose track of what I need to do. I need almost total silence in order to study or do homework. I’m thinking maybe I should start making trips to the oh-so-lovely Giovatto Library.

But for now it’s whatever works best. 

Good workout always help me clear my mind

Lately I haven’t taken the time to really sit down and write about my life.

Let me say this… As another year passes there is always another challenge that pushes me to the brink of life or death.

I’ve been shoved but when is it time to shove back?

When is it time to take my life back?

Control what is rightfully mine?

And Simply… Be happy.

I deserve happiness, I know I do but I deprive myself of it like a goldfish slowly suffocating from lack of water. 

These mental shackles keep me a prisoner to misery.