artemis's life

Remember Hellenic Polytheists...

Aphrodite wants you to be nice to yourself and your body because she thinks it’s beautiful

Apollo cares about your mental health

Dionysus wants you to relax and enjoy life

Hermes appreciates your puns and pranks and silly antics 

Hephaestus thinks you’re hella talented and inspiring as is

Artemis believes you’re strong enough to fight off the bullshit people throw at you

Ares wants you to keep fighting 

Athena believes in you - your intelligence and capability

Poseidon knows that you can be as calm as a lake’s current or as fearsome as an earthquake

Hestia wants you to be safe and comfortable

Persephone wants you to stop and smell the roses

Hera has a beautiful future planned for you

Hades doesn’t want you to kill yourself tonight

and remember, if all else fails,

Zeus would totally start a shit-storm over you

  • Newt: I made this sling to cradle the egg and keep it at Chinese Fireball temperature.
  • Jacob: How do you take a Chinese Fireball's temperature?
  • Newt: Very carefully.

Does anyone remember Artemis Fowl’s report card from Saint Bartleby’s School for Young Gentleman? That one day he answered all of his professor’s questions correctly and the next day he answered all of them wrongly, telling the professor that it was the chaos theory and Artemis was only preparing him for the real world lmao

Newt isn’t just a Hufflepuff Badger, he’s a Hufflepuff Honey Badger.  

Everyone:  Newt you can’t bring all these illegal magical beasts into New York.  You cannot set them loose.  No stop trying to pet that it’s dangerous NEWT.

Newt:  *literally doesn’t give a shit*

The Artemis Fowl books advocate for the environment, deal with misogyny in the workplace and the need for feminism, and has some of the best character development arcs like ever over the span of eight books. Also, there’s magic and fairies with guns and time travel and a whole lot of sarcasm and really no downside to reading them

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take a look 👀👀👀 at this! that ➡️right ➡️ there is a good tag. ✉️✉️ can we talk about artemis ✉️✉️ please, @macdenniss ? i’ve been dying 🤒🤢 to talk about artemis ✉️✉️ with you all day, okay 👌🏽? glenn 🐸🐸 howerton. this name keeps coming ⬆️up ⬆️ over and over again. every day, posts ✉️ about glenn are getting sent 📪 all over my dash . glenn 🐸🐸 howerton. glenn 🐸🐸 howerton. i look 👀 on my dash ✉️, well ALL THESE BLOGS 📦 ARE GLENN 🐸 HOWERTON !! so i say to myself, i gotta 🔎find 🔎 someone else. i gotta get ⬆️over⬆️ this guy 👨🏻 i gotta put someone else ✉️ on my goddamn blog ✋🏽otherwise i’m never gonna get over it. he’s gonna keep coming ⬆️up⬆️on my dash . so i sit ⬆️back⬆️ and think . and what do i 🔎find🔎 out, mac 🍔? what do i 🔎find🔎 out? thes best solution is to pretend that THE 👨🏻MAN 👨🏻DOES NOT ❌❌ EXIST. okay, so i decided ohhh 💩shit💩buddy. i gotta ⚒dig⚒ a little deeper📉. there’s no 🐸glenn 🐸 howerton? you gotta be 😂kidding 😂 me. i got a dash 📝 full of 🐸glenn🐸. alright, so i start 🏃🏽marching 🏃🏽my way ⬇️down ⬇️to the artemis tag . and i 🔎look🔎 for blogs about her 🚪 and i say “💁🏽💁🏽ARTEMIIIIISS💁🏽. 💁🏽💁🏽AAAARTEEEMIIIIS. 💁🏽💁🏽 i gotta use you to get over glenn 🐸.” and when i open the 🚪door, 🚪what do i find? 🤔🤔🤔there’s ❌not ❌a single goddamn 🗄blog 🗄about artemis🏢! THERE. IS. ❌NO. ❌ARTEMIS 💁🏽FAN💁🏽 BLOG. 🍔mac💻, half the posts on this 📌tag 📌have been mistagged. this tag is a goddamn 👻ghost👻 town.