artemis fowl characters

Artemis Fowl II is honestly one of the most relatable characters ever

because in literally every book of the series he’s like “wow I should exercise more… why did I not exercise before I started doing all of this running and jumping??… I NEED to work out… crap the only thing I’ve lifted in the past 12 years is my phone HELP ME… as I run to my death, I think of all the various reasons why working out would benefit me… Butler I promise I will exercise after this pls just let me survive”

but then over the course of EIGHT ENTIRE BOOKS he never actually manages to work out once, and if that’s not some A+ self-destructive procrastination then I don’t know what is

The Artemis Fowl books advocate for the environment, deal with misogyny in the workplace and the need for feminism, and has some of the best character development arcs like ever over the span of eight books. Also, there’s magic and fairies with guns and time travel and a whole lot of sarcasm and really no downside to reading them

I used to hate it, but now I really love the way the first Artemis Fowl book ends, taking away the spark of humanity and compassion we see in him. We’re not going to see an actually grown-in-significant-ways-of-character in Artemis for a while longer. We see him heal his mother. That is, no matter the other reasons, a compassionate act. He is a twelve year old boy who does not believe he needs supervision, but is still trying to keep the remnants of his family in one piece.

The way that book ends takes away the compassionate side we thought we saw of Artemis. “Oh, he only did it for tax reasons, or reputation, or to avoid the nosy government and their child services unit” or whatever else the gnome doctor said. Yes, Artemis is clever, and calculated. But…he’s also a kid. 

We think we see a flash of humanity, and it is explained away. He explains away his own motivations with logic and reason, later. But as the reader, we can see that he is driven by things beyond what logic dictates. He is driven by love in later parts of the series, driven by friendship and understanding when a debt is owed. 

The first book may wipe away the trace of humanity we acknowledge in Artemis Fowl II, but it doesn’t stay that way for long. And as he changes and grows, we can look back and wonder if the first book was when he started changing, or not, and say “either way, look at our boy. Look at Artemis. He is not who he was, and we love him, no matter when we read him.”