art school humor

"37 Slogans For College Majors If They Were Actually Honest"

Accounting: selling your soul for money.

Aerospace Engineering: “it actually is rocket science.”

Anthropology: it’ll get you laid, but it won’t get you paid!

Archeology: if you don’t know what it is, it’s probably ceremonial.

Art History: and you thought making art was pointless!

Astrophysics: “Eh, I’m within an order of magnitude…”

Biochemistry: spend 4 years aspiring to discover the cure for cancer, and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo.

Chemistry: where alcohol is a solution.

Communications: “we’ll teach you everything you need to know about convincing your friends that your degree is actually meaningful.”

Computer Engineering: tons of chicks, just not very many.

Computer Science (for a straight girl): the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Creative Writing: because job security is for pussies.

Criminal Justice: we’re here because of Law & Order reruns.

Dental Hygienist: “something to do until you get knocked up.”

Engineering: the art of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.

English: so you want to be a teacher.

Film: forks on the left, knives on the right.

Finance: “accounting was too hard.”

Graphic Design: no, we’re not artists.  We’re designers; there’s a difference.

History: history may repeat itself, but you definitely will.

Information Technology: let me Google that for you.

Journalism: learn how to construct an argument that no one will listen to.

Latin: because useful is overrated.

Linguistics: studied 17 languages, fluent in none of them.

Marine Biology: “I wanted to play with dolphins, but I’m looking at algae instead.”

Music Performance: if you don’t hate yourself, you’re doing it wrong.

Nursing: learning to save others’ lives while struggling not to take your own.

Philosophy: think about it.

Photography: it’s worth a shot.

Physics: “everything you learned last week was wrong.”

Political Science: your opinion is wrong

Pre-med: “I’ll probably switch majors in two years.”

Psychology: good luck doing anything until you get your Masters.

Speech Pathology: we have a way of making you talk.

Statistics: where everything’s made up, and numbers don’t matter.

Structural Engineering: because architects don’t know what physics is.

Zoology: because you can’t major in kittens.

What I learned from my first semester at art school:
  • Everyone is gay
  • Everyone is really hot
  • Everyone has anxiety and/or depression
  • Scholars in the field of art history define contemporary aesthetics as ‘critical reflection on art, culture, and nature’
  • Seriously I know literally one straight person everyone is gay
  • If you lie on the floor in the middle of your dorm hallway nobody will get mad, they’ll just nod and agree
  • Finals week is when you stay up all night and inhale charcoal dust until your boogers turn black
  • Everyone is amazing at art and it feels amazing
  • You scream constantly but you scream together
  • As it turns out, not every building with pillars is the parthenon
  • I made earrings out of teeth but someone in my visual language class has a shirt they bleed on every time they get a bloody nose and they use it for blood splatter references so I fit in great
Shit I do

Me: “Yay, may is mental health month!!”

My mental health: *smirks, packs its bag, flips me off and goes on vacation*

Me: “ Hahaha. Ha. I’m fine. This is fine.*

  • me , trying to make friends : sooo .......
  • stranger : umm...hii
  • me: sooo, do you like.....
  • stranger : like what. ....
  • *heavy breathing *
  • *sweating*
  • me: *licks lips *
  • *leans in and whispers *
  • me: school shooters, serial killers and mass shootings etc...
  • strangers : what the fuck , never talk to me again
  • me mocking them : WhAt ThE fUcK, NevER TaLk tO mE AgAin

anonymous asked:

as per that one text post going around - Bitty with a nose ring!!!!

you’re in luck, anon, because i’ve actually already done this in great detail! 

but hey, this is my favorite headcanon & we never did capture how poor Jacques™ felt about all that beautiful bling, so one more time with feeling