It’s not foolish
to put everything
in his name. For
there are no
I have no property
He sees me
in long dresses,
and calls me love.
I would give him
all my dresses.
All my names.
There are just so
few people that
than love a good man.
“Abandoned but familiar. There was a sense of sadness and calm as I walked around the yard I once played in. It was a strange feeling, knowing those days are over. Lichen had taken the trampoline. The yard was so quiet that I could almost hear our laughs. The wisteria is twisted and growing to become part of the house. I looked at her window, and could remember looking out of it. The brick sidewalk is covered with lovely moss. The flower pots are still under the back steps. I looked for Bella’s grave, but never found it. She was one of the first cats I ever loved. I took two hen and chick plants, just something to keep alive. “
I watched as the light fled from his eyes and his smirk turned to a snarl. I felt the gust of wind as he turned to leave our home.
“What am I supposed to say to that?” I shout before he could reach the doorknob.
“You’re supposed to say it back. Maybe I would be more understanding if I felt you didn’t love me back, but I know you do. You know you do. What more am I supposed to do?” He spits.
“I love you, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I love you so much and that’s why I can’t tell you or let you know. I can’t lose you.” I plead as I stare at the wall behind him.
“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”
“You know that every person I’ve ever let my guard down for has left. Every single one of them. I felt if I never said it, then it wouldn’t be true. But I fell in love with you and I’m sorry. But I love you, but I can’t lose you.”
He walks back over to me and holds my trembling chest close to his. He presses his lips to my hair and presses my head into the crook of his neck.
“You know that I would never leave you. Who else is gonna prove you wrong?”
Excerpt from a book I’ll never write // It’s one of those conversations I’ve had in my head a million times.