art homework is fun when i can think of something to draw

During my first year of college, I tried many new things to get out of my comfort zone and learned many life lessons throughout the year.

In high school, I mostly focused on school, running, drawing, my blog (which I started during the middle of 11th grade). I was not really “social”, and only hung out with 1-2 friends at a time. I did really well in all, and I was very happy.

In college, I decided to branch out, since I would describe myself as introverted in high school, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and be more social.

I’m a bioengineering major, entrepreneurship minor, runner for a division 1 cross country and track team, freshman representative for the Chinese Student Association, write articles and take photos for Spoon University, and work in a bioengineering research lab. I was also posting 3 times a day on my blog, and also made sure to post on my food art Instagram every day, and my personal/running Iinstagram every 2-3 days. I barely had time to draw, which is one of my favorite things to do.

I attended a bunch of events first quarter to try something new, and learned that all that social activity took away my time to do things that I am passionate about. I and found myself looking back in high school, and living in the past because I wasn’t as happy. However, that was an important learning experience for myself.  

Here are some life lessons I have learned during my first year of college that I hope helps you.

1. Most important: Never take anything personally. The more people I met, the more I started to realize that you’re just not compatible with some people. Think of it this way: If you know that you are only trying to be friendly, but the other person doesn’t seem to like you, then that is their problem because they’re obviously blind and can’t see your awesomeness. They are not worth your time. Same thing with getting rejected from something. Once you stop taking things personally, I promise you will feel happier because it’s not your fault if you’re just trying to be a good person.

In high school, I never had the desire to branch out and meet new people from my school, therefore, the people whom I hung out with share many similarities with me.

You don’t have to get along with everyone, and you’re not limited to anyone either. Be nice to everyone, because you don’t have time to make enemies and/or deal with drama.

2. People are worried about themselves. I personally don’t think it’s necessary to try so hard to present yourself. People don’t judge you as they may seem to in high school. Everyone’s mostly minding their own business.

3. Find your own method of time management. In college, no one is going to tell you what to do. You can have class from 1-9 hours a day, and you need to plan the rest of your time well.

4. Realize your limits. Everyone has a different limit, and it’s something I believe you should experiment with early on in life to find out.

In high school, I was very successful in running, so everyone seemed to know who I was. I came into college feeling like another face. I was injured, and not doing as well in everything as I would like because I was involved in too many activities. I do believe in trying new things to explore, but realize that you have a limit. Learn to prioritize.

5. Learn to say no. I like to be a nice person, but I also believe that in order to be able to help people, you must take care of yourself first. By spring quarter, I started to feel tired of having to do so many things, so i worked up the courage to say no to some of the things, so I could have more time to study for my test, finish homework, or simply because I need to go run.

Missing a party to study is ok, in fact, no one seems to really care. I never party because I rather study and do quiet activities in my room such as drawing on weekends when I have a little extra time, and my friends understand that. Don’t feel weird if you are not into things that everyone else seems to be, and you don’t have to make yourself do things that you don’t want to (unless it’s school work because you’re here for a degree), either.

6. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something. I don’t party or drink. But that doesn’t mean I don’t isolate myself from people who do. I have friends that like to party, but they never force me to do something that I’m not comfortable with. You’re not “weird” if you chose not to drink because your true friends will accept you for who you are.

7. Appreciate your parents. Don’t take them for granted and become friends with them. 

8. Get to know your professors. Don’t be intimidated, they want to help and it’s fun to make friends.

9. Don’t be shy. That’s not how you get what you want. Plus, don’t be afraid to speak in class, and someone probably has the same question.

10. Make friends in classes. You can make great study buddies and share notes when either of you are absent.

11. Use a planner (paper or electronic, whichever you prefer) because physically writing helps you remember things more.

12. Take advantage of your resources such as interlibrary loans, databases, writing centers, tutoring, friends, professors, gym, and anything else.

13. Don’t buy your textbooks from the bookstore since they usually cost more. Get them from a friend, or find them online. 

14. Be confident. Fake it until you make it. That’s how you get many things in life.

15. Prioritize your health. Without it, you have nothing.

16. Make a list of things to always carry with you. For example: Food (quiet food in class), headphones, planner, phone, laptop, gum/mints, chargers, notebooks, etc.

17. Learn to adapt to change. Don’t expect it to be easy. I thought I was a very independent person in high school and that I would love college, but so many things change. I struggled my first quarter, then I got used to the routine. It will be hard at first, but you will learn and grow and become a better and more mature person than you were before.

18. Don’t be afraid to try new things. The more you know about yourself, the better equipped you are to make decisions about what you want in your life.

I have more life tips here!

How to Study Effectively

How to be Happy

How to be Productive and Achieve your Goals

How to Start a Healthy Lifestyle

How to Start Running

BTS Scenario- Suga x Reader: Good Day

Requested by Anon and @senpoimei​: Can you do a scenario where, reader is looked down a lot by other people especially one girl and her friends. They like Suga a lot but Suga likes the reader because she’s unique please!

Author’s Note: I had fun writing this! The song I used to get some inspiration and the title of the story is Good Day by BTS a song I randomly came across one day and thought was perfect for this scenario! Two people requested similar scenarios so I mashed them together! I hope you all enjoy~<3

**Warnings: Some Swearing**

(Y/N) Your Name

(B/N) Bullies Name


It was yet another day at school, senior year just couldn’t finish fast enough. You stood out among the others at school and though your parents thought it was great that you didn’t conform and you were your own leader, it caused issues at school. Many of the other students weren’t fond of you, probably because they were jealous, or at least that’s what you told yourself. But there was one girl who especially didn’t like you, (B/N) was beautiful, smart, and most importantly had lots of money. She walked with purpose and attitude as she practically ran the place, everybody seemed to just follow her lead and since you never did, she’s never liked you.

You took a deep breath, straightened your posture, and lifted your head high before walking into the dull front doors of the school. Today was going to be  a good day. You tried your hardest to have good days and no matter the struggle the other students may put you through, you walked with grace and your chin up which seemed to make them even more frustrated. You had your backpack on and your sketchbook in hand as you walked through the halls smiling at a few of your friends and others who passed by,  while you made your way to homeroom. As you got closer to your destination you noticed (B/N) standing next to the door with a little posse who all noticed you right away and gave you a swift glance up and down with what seemed to be lazers darting from their eyes. You, being the sarcastic and sometimes not so smart person you are, smiled and nodded at the group walking passed them not the classroom. You sat down at your desk dropping your bag beside you and opened your sketchbook finding comfort and solitude in your art. You suddenly felt a presence creep up beside you as their shadow blocked the light from your book.

“Whatcha drawing?” The sing-songy voice ask, knowing the voice immediately a shy smile crept onto your face as you turned to face the kind-hearted boy who had your heart in his hands from the moment you met him.

“It’s kind of complicated…” You said, “I’m not sure where I’m going with it yet, it sort of resembles flowers but if you turn it this way it kind of looks dark and scary so I’m not sure what it is…” you explained and smiled wider when he chuckled.

“Well I like it!” He exclaimed, “you’re very good at drawing, your unique personality shows through, I really like your style.”

“Thanks Suga, I’m glad somebody enjoys it.” You smiled at hm and he nodded smiling back.

“So, (Y/N)…” His tone become low and serious, you heart immediately speeding up unsure of what was coming, “do you possibly have… The homework finished from last night?”

Your mouth was slightly open as you processed what he just did and tried to slow your pounding heart down.

“I, um, yeah-” You couldn’t respond, (B/N) stormed up to your desk and grabbed your sketchbook.

“OH SO, you think you can be this little sassy bitch and talk to Suga? I’m sorry Suga I should have come in earlier to save you from her weird, I hope you didn’t catch anything from her…” She exclaimed, she flipped through your drawings, and pouted as she rested her head on Suga’s shoulder, continuing to flip through the pages, “These are weird and don’t make any sense…” She grumbled tossing the sketchbook to one of her minions with disgust slather on her face. You stopped watching her and sat, stunned, as two of the girls opened the book and page by page started ripping the drawings out and tossing them to the floor. You were shocked and emotionally hurt you felt paralyzed and couldn’t help but watch as your drawings gracefully fell to the floor, some of them torn into pieces.

(B/N) turned to Suga, “Well, let’s go for walk and maybe go get a coffee or something!” she tried linking her arm with his. He quickly pulled away looking at her as if she had just vomited on him, “Don’t touch me, (Y/N) is kind and nice and has never done anything to any of your guys,” he shouted gesturing to the entire room, “She has a sweetheart, she’s different, and unique. She doesn’t need to follow you and your dumb-ass posse because she’s her own leader and does her own thing! Just leave her alone and grow the hell up! AND YOU TWO, DROP THE BOOK NOW!!” He shouted, shooing everyone out, and ripping the book from the two girls’ hands.

Still stunned you hadn’t realized tears had begun to escape from your eyes. You stared blanking ahead, your breathing irregular, and disbelief plastered on your face. You heard Suga shuffling the many papers on the ground and he let out a deep sigh as he stood up.

“(Y/N)… I’m so sorry..” He whispered as he took a step closer to you. You didn’t say anything you only nodded, your voice stuck in your throat.

“(Y/N)… I’ll fix these drawings. I’ll fix them, I promise.” He assured, trying to make you feel better, again, not confident in your voice you just nodded and looked down at your hands that fumbled with the hem of your skirt. He walked closer and set the papers and what was left of the book down on the desk in front of you. He kneeled down to match your height and gently grabbed one of your hands, softly caressing your knuckles with the pad of his thumb.

“Here, come on, I’ll walk you home, you should get some rest and calm down.” He decided and guided you to stand. He grabbed your sketched and put them in his bag before grabbing your bag and placing ti on his shoulder. He grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers and walked you out of school. You could feel the hot glares and stares as everyone watched the two of you but you were so glad you going home, you just needed a break.

Throughout the day you got texts from Suga asking how you were feeling, reminding you to eat, and prompting you to take more naps. It was about 6:30 at night you had just finished eating dinner with your parents and explained today’s lovely outburst that occurred when your doorbell rang. You were confused but stood up to answer it, as you opened the door your eyes were met with a giant picture frame filled with your drawings. All of the ones that had been ripped up and ripped out of the notebook were taped back together and neatly placed together framed by a dark wooden frame. Slowly Suga emerged from behind the frame as he brought it down from in front of his face. Again you felt tears about to escape from your eyes but this times you were so touched from his incredibly sweet act of kindness.

“I promised I would fix them.” Was all he said as he chuckled and smile forming on his face so wide to reached his eyes. You smiled wide to grabbing the picture and resting it up again the door. You quickly turned back round and wrapped Suga into a tight hug.

“Thank you so much!” You whispered burying your head in his shoulder, “I can’t believe you did this…”

“I made a promise and I kept it… I hope you had a good day today (Y/N). I want to make sure you have a good day every day…” He said, pulling away just enough to kiss your forehead before hugging you tight again.

Something I wanted to get off my Chest.

This is something I really want to get off my chest and I don’t know how else to start since I usually am not very good with introductions in general but I think I’ll start with how I felt over the years and the events that transpired yesterday and a few days ago.

Over the 26 years of my life, I’ve always been the usual kid you see in the block but I think I’m just like any kid who really loves entertainment just as much as everyone else does. Over the course, I grew up loving sci fi and many various stories that really invigorated me to go on adventures together and meet new people. Like I was your stereotypical kid who loved Star Wars, Star Fox, Super Mario Bros and of course anything that was made by Nintendo.

However I really wanted to join within the communities that had a similiar interest as me. Just like any other kid who wanted to be a part of the community for anything. I’ve tried sticking with them but more and more as I grew older I found so much negativity within them. Instead of expressing how much I love this genre, games or make fan made content, all I ever got was hate, troll responses or just plain negative downvotes. Many of which of course made me really sad and felt like I will never contribute anything to any fan community. So i felt isolated.

Soon afterwards, I just went in the dark, rather than talk or discuss with anyone online, I just sat there just playing games all day, do the usual homework from school but at the same time, I felt kind of isolated. Even if I joined any school clubs I usually stick to it for one day and kind of leave. So even though I was glad I didn’t have to deal with the amount of negativity, it also made me sad and lonely and I felt very isolated from many people who already have connections.

When I first saw Xenoblade X back in 2013, I thought ooh cool, mechs and regular on ground ARPG combat. Can’t wait to try it. Little did I know this would change my life around.

When I finished beating the game for the first time, I loved it so much. The story, characters, the world of mira, the cutscenes and the amount of fun sidequests that were available. I didn’t expect to fall in love with it so much. At first I thought man I should see what others think of it. Of course, to my big surprise it was a very mixed reaction from most people I noticed and it had tons of excessive bashing that I felt was unnecessary or it’s one of those it doesn’t cater to my specific niche case scene. It honestly made me feel sad and I thought I would never join back. However there was something I did that I never thought I would do to get people to notice me.

During my playthroughs, I did a lot of video recordings of moments that I loved from the game. I created a bunch of gifs, webm videos, commission artists for drawing Xenoblade X fan arts of my favourite characters and people started to notice this pink shirt meme mim that seems to circulate around. Although I had the usual it’s that guy again, some of them took notice to me and I felt I wanted to meet these people. We quickly became friends and soon I started posting these to tumblr and I feel as cool as the game is, there aren’t enough fan contents cause it’s a niche series. I asked various sources and helps from my friends and I went on to compile stuff like the Party Member banters, making hacks, screenshots, emote gifs of characters that don’t normally have emotes, cross interactions etc.

It of course felt great and I felt very satisfied with the amount of things I’ve contributed but at the same time, it still kind of felt lonely especially when I had to find work and I can’t stick with doing these things all day. It wasn’t until around Feb 17th 2017 when my birthday happened. So many art gifts kept pouring into my feed and I just could not believe it. I just have no words to express how happy I was. I was literally shedding tears at work while doing whatever task or projects my boss wanted me to do but of course I finished them all really early and he let me off early. Something that burst in me, I started crying. 

I just don’t know. It was such a wonderful feeling like I’ve accomplished something in my life. It felt like I helped bring a community together and as someone who loves art in general, it just blew my mind. All my friends that I got to know through discord, tumblr, twitter and now even the people from the Japanese Xenoblade X community. It was soooo overwhelming and I can’t thank everyone enough!!! You guys are amazing!! I’m just an ordinary programmer just trying to make a living and I think all you guys together are one amazing people and the Xenoblade X community is such a wonderful community. And of course your love has also motivated to get back into drawing. Something I never thought I would attempt to do again after 15 or so years of not doing because I felt I would never improve but now I’ve been thinking positively about it.

So I would like to say once again thank you to the Xenoblade X community and for giving me back so much over the years. I really hope you’ve guys enjoyed the content that I’ve created and the amount of hours I’ve put into it to make them possible.  I don’t want to name specifics as I feel that would be very bias but for those that I’ve DMed with on my personal time you know who you guys are.  But I would love excessively say thank you to those and the community. You guys are the ones that motivated me to do all these things and I really mean it. So thank you! You guys as a whole are the most wonderful people I’ve ever known and I want to continue to supporting all of you as much as I can. I just…..

Thank you!!!

jackscrutchie  asked:

“You make me feel so happy just to be around you. The way you smile, your beautiful laugh, the way you look at me, It brings me such joy.” With JackCrutchie. ❤

I was going to write some nice, short one-shot. And now we’ve got this 6,000+ behemoth. Whatever, it was fun. Hope y’all like this one!

Also, shout out to one of my greatest friends up at college, who sat me down and helped me come up with a realistic plan for Crutchie’s life–which, is basically a combination of her plans and her friend’s plans–and then proceeded to threaten me if I didn’t let her read this after it was finished.  


Crutchie had a plan. It was the perfect plan and he wouldn’t allow anything to get in the way of him achieving his dreams. Nothing would stop him; he wouldn’t let it. When Crutchie had started college, he had fallen in love with the anthropology class that he had taken to cover some liberal arts requirement that his adviser had informed him was mandatory. Crutchie had immediately changed majors and never looked back. Suddenly, Crutchie knew exactly what he wanted to do: he would major in anthropology and he would find a way to work and identify bodies, in order to connect them back to their families.

He knew exactly how he would get to that point. First, he would graduate with his bachelor’s degree in anthropology and two minors in biology and chemistry. He would get his masters in biological anthropology at, either Michigan State or UT Knoxville. Through that degree, he would be able to pursue either contemporary mass grave excavation, or stable isotope identification methods. Both would allow him to work with mass graves. After studying their programs, Crutchie had felt as if those schools offered what he needed to achieve his goal. Once he had gotten his masters, Crutchie hoped to work or volunteer, either through the UN or an NGO to excavate mass graves. Ideally, he hoped to work in Afghanistan, but he knew that he would be content anywhere. As long as he was helping these people, long dead, be connected to their posterity. Maybe Crutchie would even get a job at the Smithsonian or the Museum of Natural History in New York. He was open to that avenue, as well, so long as he had worked with mass grave excavations, in the end.

Really, Crutchie had everything planned out, and he could not afford to be distracted from his goal and life-long pursuit.

Which was why Jack Kelly’s appearance into his life was not initially welcome. 

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swim au

im on a fucking rolllllllllll 

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

ao3

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FFXV College AU Fic || Character Notes

Some notes/headcanons for me to keep track of as I begin to write a college AU. c: It focuses around the idea of Ravus being the new roommate for the Chocobros. Drama and hilarity ensues as well as scandals.


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Glued and Tattooed

Summary: Soulmates are considered as sacred to them all apparently, even though it happens to everyone everyday. It’s a public thing now, where it even becomes a game to everyone to find out who their soulmate is, especially when it comes to guessing the celebrities’ soulmates.

She thinks it’s all very disturbing and that they wouldn’t have any personal space to themselves.

A/N: HOLLER HOLLER TIME TO HEARTRATE @caprette @sadrienagreste

Soulmate AU, when you write on your skin, your soulmate is able to see it.


Alix isn’t particularly having a great day.

As if to spite her, the sun shines brightly onto her face the moment she wakes up, where she’s forgotten to draw the curtains close last night when she’s doing her homework on her desk. Drool pools onto her hand as she tries to pry her eyes open through her sticky eyelids that she thinks she probably glues them together when she’s been asleep. Her body groans with protest as she straightens herself up while she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

And when she finally, finally, sees clearly after rubbing her eyes, she realises she’s late for school.

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Stolen Glances

Pairing: Claire x Reader

Words: 1422

Includes: Bi!Claire, Dadstiel, Destiel (not a huge part, really), High School AU

Note: First time writing Claire, please let me know what you think and if you maybe want a part two? :)))

Tagging: @ddean, @pada-ackles, @perfjensen, @wrennotren , @sextydean ,@warriorclairenovak 

(not my gif)

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samrosesamrose  asked:

Hey there Dana. I'm going off to college for art soon, and i really admire your work. I was wondering if you had any tips about art college life as well as critique for the art I have posted to tumblr thus far (I'm fairly new to it). I'm not asking for a mentor or anything, but I really do hope I could get in touch with an amazing artist like you so that I can ask for tips from time to time about commissions and pricing and art and life and stuff. Thanks!

(Hey samrosesamrose, I wrote this answer as a general Tips post, send me an email and I can give you a more personalized response!) 

Disclaimer: All my advice is coming from my personal experiences in college.

Hey there, future or current student! Congratulations on getting into whatever art college you get into! It’s probably very expensive, unfortunately. Here are a few tips that could help you make the most of your money! 

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anonymous asked:

Hi there! I'm going to be a freshman at RISD in a few weeks and I was wondering if you could say a bit about your experience there (likes/dislikes?) and any advice you might have for incoming students? Your artwork is so beautiful. Thank you in advance!

Hey, congratulations!!  I’m happy to offer any advice that I can.

Entering RISD as a freshman is entering like a fantastic bubble of inspiring (and often intimidatingly beautiful) people.  Here is a long long long list of some tips:

1. Bring any art supplies that you currently use/want to use.  The RISD art store is expensive, and although there are alternatives, it’s really irritating to re-buy something you know you already have at home.

2. That said, there will be a time when a teacher mandates that you purchase a specific expensive brand of something.  You will feel pain as your card slides through the machine and the receipt says $60 for three tubes of paint.  Try not to worry too much about this–just use it to make the best work you can.  If you really can’t afford something, don’t be afraid to talk to the teacher about it!

3.  RISD SECOND LIFE.  It is a used art supply store located at 204 Westminster street (walking distance from College Hill).  CHEAP ASS SUPPLIES AND IT HAS EVERYTHING

4.  Don’t hook up with people in your class sections.  You will be with that same group for 12 weeks straight for literally all your classes.  You will end things.  It will be awkward.  You will see them hitting on someone else in the class.  If you’re really into the person, just wait things out until first semester ends, and then see where it goes–there’ll be much less pressure.

5.  Make friends with your instructors!  While some actively reach out to give advice, others wait for you to go to them.  Never hesitate to talk to the faculty or the teaching assistants.  They’re there to help!

6.  THERE ARE NO RULES IN DRAWING THERE ARE NONE I swear if you go in being all “rendered drawings are the best conceptual art SUCKS” you are gonna be stifling your own growth.  Be open to trying new things out, even if you don’t think you’ll like it.  Trying new processes will not undo the skills you already have; it will only enhance them.

7.  Everyone around you will be dying their hair and getting piercings and changing their look in general.  In my freshman year it was the era of soft grunge.  Do whatever makes you happy, yo.

8.  Don’t procrastinate your homework.  Honestly.  Don’t do that to yourself.  RISD Foundation Year is the year of learning how to manage time–a skill that will be necessary for basically the rest of your life.  Just do your fucking homework.  I’m not saying finish it the day it’s assigned, but at least start sketches and write down ideas when you get home from class.  A little progress each day prevents the night-before “I DIDN’T DRAW ANYTHING” meltdowns.

9.  You can go to the dining hall with your unlimited meal plan without ever setting foot outside.  This is handy in the wintertime.  Eat well.

10.  Bring shit like safety pins, a mending kit, glue, scissors, tacks, tissues, rubber bands, paper clips, and all the other random stuff you didn’t think you’d need.  If you can bring it from home, it saves a trip to CVS.

11.  RISD offers free STD testing, OB-GYN services, and free condoms.  Be safe.  Use consent.  Use protection.  GET TESTED REGULARLY.  Regularly does not mean once a year.  Your health is important.

12.  SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP GET ENOUGH SLEEP OH MY GOD JUST GO TO BED

13.  Your health really is the most important thing.  Whether you feel a cold coming on or your mental health is suffering, don’t be afraid to take some extra rest!  RISD offers free counseling services; if you feel drained, it can be helpful to meet with someone regularly and discuss your thoughts.  Not every RISD counselor will be right for you; try out different appointments until you find one that you’re comfortable with.

14.  Join clubs!  RISD boasts a plethora of activities including basketball, hockey, bicycling, theatre, fencing (I think we still have fencing), and many cultural clubs.  Pursuing creative or fun endeavors aside from your studio work is healthy and balancing!  

15.  If a hungry upperclassman asks you to get them food with your free unlimited meal plan please just do it.  We are poor and so so hungry, and it won’t cost you anything, please feed me.

16.  Don’t smoke in the dorms.  People get suspended, punished, and even kicked out for doing this.  Like, there are ways to be more discrete, but honestly, the risk of getting caught breaking a rule that RISD takes very seriously is just not worth it.  Drinking is punished, too.  Just be aware of yourself and don’t do anything excessive and loud and stupid.

17.  Don’t trash upperclassmen apartments at house parties.  We live there.  We have to clean up later, and chances are we don’t even know you because you’re freshmen.  

18.  IF SOMEONE IS INTOXICATED OR DRUGGED TO A POINT THAT ENDANGERS THEM, CALL RISD PUBLIC SAFETY IMMEDIATELY.  RISD has a policy that “forgives” both the caller and the victim for partaking in illegal underage substances.  Safety is the most important thing.  Don’t keep someone in danger for fear of getting caught.

19.  Participate in critique!  One of the most important things you’ll learn at RISD is how to discuss both your own and others’ works.  Always speak up when you have something to say!  Practice speaking for everyone’s piece during a critique.  Steer clear of simple “I like” and “I dislike” statements; instead, analyze what different elements of a piece actually do.

20.  “Have fun” is a really tacky final tip but it’s so true.  Foundation year comes with a lot of stress, but remember that above all else, it’s a time for you to learn and grow.  Your skills will improve rapidly and your confidence will, too.  A bad crit is not the end of the world, even though it may feel like it.  You are at RISD for a reason–they saw something in you, and they want to help draw it out so that you can develop into the best artist you can be.  

BTS - Reaction - Drawing Homework

hey guys! This actually a re-done reaction that was requested / done quite a while ago on my blog when i was generally quite new. I’d like to think I’ve improved since then, so i wanted to re-do some of my work (original)


Jungkook

Jungkook liked to draw with you, seeing as how he’s pretty good himself when it comes to art. While he drew, however, his gentle gaze was moved upon to your drawing; smiling to himself, he became lost in the gentle and careful way you sketched every line. Soon after his eyes began to move from your drawing to your face. Catching him looking out of the corner of your eye, you turn to him.

Y/N: “Jungkook, why are you looking at me? I thought you said you were drawing. I don’t know how you can look at me and draw at the same time!”

Jungkook: “I was in the middle of drawing a flower, and it was going pretty well, but I’d prefer to look you, my flower!~”

Originally posted by jibeom


J-Hope

Being an artist, it’s only natural that you receive criticism and critiques for what you’ve done. You were okay, for the most part, to show others your work, but when it came to the rest of the members of BTS, you were a little shy. It took a lot of convincing from Hoseok, but eventually, you gave in so that he could take a photo of your work to text to the rest of the members. Before long, the positive comments came rolling in.

J-hope: “See? I told you they’d love it, just not as much as me!” He proclaimed, pulling you in for a kiss.

Y/N: “Thanks… My Hobie~”

Originally posted by jhope-shi


V

He’d be in awe, and he liked to praise you so that you would feel good about the work you’ve done. With such a strong interest in your work, to him, it was only fitting that he could be a model for your next drawing project. You chuckled when he suggested this idea to you, but taking his thought into more consideration, you agreed with his idea.

Y/N: “That could be fun! I always thought I needed to improve my portraiture skills… Just give me a little longer, then I promise to draw you.”

V: “Alright, I’ll try my best!” He kissed the top of your head, and let’s you get on, while he goes off and practices posing.

Originally posted by mvssmedia


Suga

Sitting upon the bed, Suga was trying to pass the time with his phone; you had been drawing for the past couple of hours, unaware of Suga’s boredom. He didn’t want to outright say it, but he was craving for your attention and affection. You didn’t want to admit it, but you were clearly overworking yourself. Silently, Suga got up without you noticing. Taking the pencil from your hand, he set it down, and picked you up in his arms.

Y/N: “I was almost done! Yoongi!~ I wanna draw~…”

Suga: “You can work later, let’s just sleep for now. It isn’t healthy to overwork yourself, trust me, I would know.” Moving back to the bed, Suga flopped down with you, arms securely around your waist. “… I love you.”

Originally posted by yoongijae


Jin

Engrossed in your work, Jin watched you work, yet he felt a sense of uselessness from not doing anything to really help. You had been working all day, and Jin hadn’t really seen you eat or drink much since you were so absorbed in your work. Exiting the room, Jin made a little something in the kitchen just so you won’t be working on a completely empty stomach.

Jin: “I know you’re working really hard, Y/N, but maybe you should take a break? Health is just as important as work, if not more. Also maybe you shouldn’t lean forward so much. Doesn’t it hurt you back? I mean-”

To stop him from going on and on, you grab his face and place a kiss on his lips. He stared at you, completely surprised, before a smile graced his lips.

Y/N: “Thanks Seokjin, I love you~”

Jin: “I love me too I love you too~”

Originally posted by xingorjin


Rap Monster

With interest, Namjoon looked between you and your work, struck by awe. He respected your passion and dedication for art, even if you gave more attention to your art than him, from time to time. He doubted that he’d be that great at art, but he didn’t mind. The only thing that he did mind about was how much stress you must be under after receiving so much work all the time.

Rap Monster: “How long did it take for you to learn to draw like that?”

Y/N: “To be honest, I’m still learning, but I suppose it’s been a fair few years that I’ve been drawing. I can still get stressed out, but you definitely help me to relax.”

Hearing this, he lightly pecks you on the cheek.

Rap Monster: “I’m glad I can help Y/N.”

Originally posted by jiminrolls


Jimin

Catching the drawing from the corner of his eye, he moved his face closer to the art in order to get a closer inspection on the details. Smiling, he rested his chin upon your head and wrapped his arms around you from behind.

Jimin: “Working hard as always?” He gently pecked the top of your head.

Y/N: “Yeah… I’ve been working all day though… Maybe I should take a break, whatcha think?” Wordlessly, Jimin slowly pulled you out of your chair to face him, and kissed you.

Jimin: “A break sounds like a great idea.~”

Originally posted by bwipsul

cabeswarren-moved  asked:

adansey adansey adansey

yeS YES Y E S 

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa

  • PLEASE IMAGINE THIS HAPPENING TO GANSEY 
  • he’s got his nose in his journal or some book or something bc he’s a loser 
  • and the door v clearly says “PULL” on it but he’s not looking 
  • so he just sort of holds his hand out to push it and it doesn’t work and he gets hit smack in the face
  • and adam laughs for about 6000 years and gansey sulks for like. twice that time 
  • so adam kisses his stupid nose. no

Who doodles little hearts all over the desk with their initials inside them

  • G AN SE Y
  • except not on the desk so he doesn’t “deface school property”
  • but like. theres about 6 pages in his journal that are just “<3 <3 <3 richard parrish <3 <3 <3″ doodled when he can’t sleep 
  • he has them covered up with maps but one day adam almost saw it 
  • so now he has a lock on his journal like an 11 year old girl 
  • what a loser 

Who starts the tickle fights

  • aDaM
  • bc he knows gansey is like ridiculously ticklish and he isn’t so he’ll always win
  • he does it at night when they’re sleeping together at st. agnes
  • and gansey will always try to tell him how childish he’s being and how they’re too old for this
  • before breaking off into uncontrollably high-pitched laugher 
  • and trying to get his revenge by tickling adam but it ends in inevitable failure
  • its literally just gansey giggling and being like “STOOO-OOOP” 
  • eventually he does. and then they makeout
  • plEASe

Who starts the pillow fights

  • ok SO 
  • gansey is up just sort of doing whatever in bed beside adam 
  • he thinks adam is asleep but he’s just pretending until he can STRIKE
  • at first its like the tickle wars and gansey is like “oh this is so dumb” 
  • but then he gets way into it and they get like super tactical and competitive 
  • gansey draws a floor plan of St. Agnes or something and steals all the pillows from Monmouth for a blockade 
  • and they have like a seCRET CODE so that people at Aglionby won’t know they’re two 17 year old boys having pillow fights in a church attic/old abandoned warehouse
  • “Parrish. The Attic at 19 hundred hours?” 
  • “Code Green, Dick”
  • “Yo WTF are you guys doing? Street rumble?” - Jealous Tad Carruthers who wouldn’t mind a rumble or two w Parrish u feel me
  • *gansey and adam look at each other and laugh uncontrollably*
  • I NEED THIS 

Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile

  • i think about gansey doing this w adam every single day 
  • i am serious. not a day passes 

Who mistakes salt for sugar

  • GANSEY, THE DWEEB W ZERO PRACTICAL LIFE SKILLS
  • he probably tries to make adam cookies and accidentally dumps like 2 cups of salt into it
  • and also burns them 
  • (adam wouldn’t have eaten them anyway bc they were made like 3 feet away from the toilet. gansey honestly what the fuck)
  • blue gives him one of those gold stars that say “you tried” 
  • gansey sulks for like a week
  • he keeps finding “you tried” stickers in Monmouth and the Pig courtesy of his boyfriend 

Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1am in the morning

  • gansey whines bc he’s so busy reading and he doesn’t want to get up
  • even though he probably left it open in the first place this loser 
  • and then he’ll see adam smile while still pretending to sleep 
  • so he’ll be like “oh no!! whatever shall i do?? how could i POSSIBLY awaken adam parrish at this late hour?”
  • and adam will purse his lips while still sort of giggling
  • so gansey rolls his eyes and kisses him
  • and adam gives this big exaggerated jolt awake like “oh hey what’s happening? i didn’t hear u i was sleeping!” 
  • and then he’ll go to close the microwave while hearing gansey’s laughter
  • no help m e 

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines

  • courtesy of my love kinza: this is ADAM
  • “hey gansey do your feet hurt”
  • “no, why” 
  • “because you’ve been running through my mind all day”
  • gansey: *various sounds of mild pain* (x)
  • blue has flashcards of terrible embarrassing puns adam can use on gansey to publicly embarrass him
  • theres no topping this okay. its just not possible 

Who rearranges the bookshelf in alphabetical order

  • both of them are fuckign ridiculous about this 
  • if blue/ronan/noah takes a book from the bookshelf and puts it back in the wrong place u can bet your ass adam/gansey will RUN
  • eventually they (esp blue and noah cause they’re shits) will put it back in the wrong place on purpose just to watch the look of pure terror on gansey’s face 
  • adam just stares them down while calmly plotting revenge 
  • honestly i bet u these two could spend three hours in chapters not even reading 
  • just arranging 

Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies

  • gansey
  • provocatively bc he flirts like a 6 year old boy
  • and noah told him to
  • adam just frowns and tells him not to contaminate the batter
  • gansey: [looks into the camera like he’s on the office] 
  • honestly i need a whole book of noah and blue deliberately giving gansey terrible flirting advice and adam being Unimpressed 
  • and it all goes on ronan’s snapchat 
  • i s2g 

Who buys candles for dinners even though there’s no special occasion

  • adam never buys them bc they’re impractical but he loves them, he thinks they’re old fashioned and soothing 
  • gansey loves them too so he DOES buy them, bc they’re nice and the electricity in st. agnes is shit, esp in bad weather 
  • pls imagine these two sitting on adam’s bed at night during a thunderstorm doing homework or reading by candlelight and thEN
  • gansey: “oops oh gosh all my clothes are wet! i guess i should just…take them off…so they can…dry….”
  • adam: “oh…well..when u put it that way…this isnt gay no its not not even a little…”
  • YES IT IS PARRISH. OH MY GOD 

Who draws little tattoos on the other with a pen

  • adam gets his art-hoe ways from queen sargent
  • they’ll be chilling in the Pig or something and adam will draw curling vines or planets or phrases in Latin on gansey’s arms and shoulders 
  • gansey tries to ignore the cool dry touch of adam’s elegant hands on his skin and the look of careful concentration between his eyebrows but he has. 0 Fucking Chill
  • one time he wrote “cubitum eamus?” on gansey’s wrist and he CHOKED and would not stop BLUSHING for 3 HOURS
  • blue/ronan/noah kept asking him if he was sunburned. adam just SMIRKS
  • the answer was yes btw

Who comes home with a new souvenir magnet every time they go on vacation

  • GANSEY HAS ABOUT 6 BOXES OF SOUVENIR MAGNETS 
  • HE STICKS THEM ON A MAP ON HIS FRIDGE WITH EACH MAGNET STUCK ON THE PLACE IT’S FROM 
  • tbh this is exactly the kind of cheesy “aesthetic” thing gansey would do 
  • adam makes fun of him for it all the time 
  • but after gansey dies adam is packing up his things and he finds this on the back of the map 
  • “places to take adam parrish: by richard gansey” 
  • and its a list of all the places gansey wanted to take adam
  • sor RY

Who convinces the other to fill out those couple surveys in the back of magazines

  • omg noah would do this 
  • they both have an undying scorn for these things like they will literally not touch them 
  • but noah has cross-referenced about 16 different love calculators, 30 different quizzes from 25 different issues of Teen Bop, an astrology chart down to the exact time of both Adam and Gansey’s births and 3 different “What Fictional Couple Are You?” quizzes 
  • i swear 

send me a ship for headcanons

Asks~

Anonymous said:Hey there Ms. Kie!! I LOVE YOUR ART!! YEAH!! I WOULD REALLY REALLY… want to know about the brushes you use for your art, specifically the “strands” (lmao i have no word choice sorry) they are really cool af. and sorry if this was a bother to you… really sorry if it is. <33 keep up the cool art 

 If you’re talking about the little lines my coloring has I do them by hand,but if you’re talking about my brush settings in general here they are,tho I change the mixing and persistency all the time(marcador means marker,BTW):


rest of the questions under the cut as always uvu

Keep reading

I Got a Boy - Chapter 29

IGAB tag / FF.net / AO3

~

Annabeth was stunned into silence.

Her mind went blank. If she was a computer, her brain would be the spinning wheel of incompetence. Nico’s words clanged around her head like an echo in a canyon and heat slowly rose up her face as his question dug in.

Would you like to go out with me sometime?

That was the absolute last question she expected at that very moment. Even asking if she’d be up for a kidney transplant sounded more logical than this.

“I’ve got these tickets for an art show,” he continued, pulling them out from between the pages of one of his books. He was using them as bookmarks. Somehow that detail made Annabeth feel ten times worse. “Its focus is on ancient architecture blueprints and design structure and I figured, since you like architecture and I like drawing, it’d be kind of fun.” He slid the tickets over on the table toward her.

“You -” she swallowed, thickly. “Wait, what?”

Nico smiled, bowing his head shyly. “I’m happiest spending time with the people I like so…”

Annabeth’s stomach plummeted.

Keep reading

I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory

(Also at the Medium.)

I’m in my therapist’s office, talking about friendship. I’ve been struggling with emotional intimacy and honesty—my whole life, actually, but it’s caused some more acute problems recently, which is why I’m back here now. In more practical terms, I’m here because my therapist is willing to schedule appointments via e-mail; when I’m fucked up, phone calls are insurmountably challenging. 

Last week we talked about how hard it is for me to articulate emotions, and how much I obsess over precision of language, and how closely that’s linked to how scared I am of miscommunication, of lying by the sheer act of trying to name something so personal and subjective and dependent on factors more complicated than any sentence or word or idiom can every convey.

I’m a professional writer.

The irony is not lost on me.

___

My homework this week has been to look at the very few relationships in which I feel comfortable talking about my feelings—especially negative feelings—and find common factors.

The answer, once I stumbled across it, was so stupidly obvious that I cracked up, and then I spent half an hour writing it down and tweaking the phrasing so I could be sure that when I told him he would hear what I meant.

The common factor, I tell my therapist, is cultural frame of reference. The only way I am consistently comfortable communicating feelings is via broad fictional allegory. The friends who know me best—not just likes-and-dislikes-and-interests, but things more fundamental and less articulable; the friends I’m willing to let see me fucked up; the friends I text at 3 AM when my world is falling apart; are the friends who read the same comics I do.

I tell him that I have a folder on my desktop labeled “feelings” that is mostly panels clipped from comics and Community gifs.

I tell him that I think maybe we should talk about Autism Spectrum disorders.

He tells me he’s been meaning to bring that up for a while now.

___

The Lady-Friend and I have been binge-watching Community. We love it a lot, for a lot of reasons, but Troy and Abed are our favorites. We have the kind of romantic relationship that is substantially goofy and involves a fair lot of best-bro grade-school-slumber-party nonsense; and while Troy and Abed are about ten years our junior, we are tickled as hell to see our very specific demographic of “adults who are still pretty into blanket forts” reflected in popular media.

Abed is my favorite character because Abed makes sense to me in a way that the other characters don’t. Abed is simultaneously exceptionally perceptive and exceptionally dense. Abed celebrates his interests in an obsessive, minutiae-focused way. Abed talks in pop cultural references and parses his experiences in general and interpersonal dynamics in particular by drawing parallels the structure and terms of fictional storytelling—although when he does it, there’s an extra layer to the joke because he is, of course, a committee-written fictional character on a sitcom.

In the pilot of Community, early on, there’s this exchange: Jeff, the leading man, who’s kind of an asshole, says, “Abed, I see your value now,” and Abed, genuinely excited, answers, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

I thought for a long time that the joke was that Jeff only saw people’s value when they were of direct use to him; that he thought he was being snide but actually saying something pretty nice. It turns out that the joke is that Abed interprets it as a compliment.

It’s often hard for me to tell when people are joking. It’s usually hard for for me to tell when they’re making fun of me.

I can’t imagine a more reassuring compliment than being told that someone sees my value.

___

I don’t tell my therapist this, but I do tell him about the Season 1 episode “Contemporary American Poultry,” in which the study group takes over the school as a chicken-fingers-themed crime family with Abed at the top.

Jeff likes being in charge, so he goes off to try to get Abed to stop. “The mafia movie is over,” he tells Abed.

And Abed, who has an organizational chart behind him listing everyone’s likes and needs, says, “I’m not doing a mafia movie. In fact, I don’t need to use movies or tv shows to talk to people anymore. Before, I only needed them because the day-to-day world made no sense to me, but now, everyone’s speaking the same language: chicken. I understand people, and they finally understand me.”

I thought, Yes. That makes perfect sense.

And then I thought, Man, that sounds so nice.

___

I like fiction, because fiction makes sense in ways that the real world doesn’t. Because in fiction, I have as much—more, often—interpretive resources as anyone else; because we’re all working from the same basic data set.

“I wish I were a fictional character,” I tell The Spouse, over and over, year after year. Fictional characters are fundamentally functional. They serve a purpose. If I were fictional, I would be of use. I could be everything anyone needs or wants me to be, with no self to get in the way. I could have a world with rules. I could be distilled into language, not lost again and again in imperfect translation.

___

The Spouse is extremely emotionally fluent. He’s all about those tight personal connections. He falls in love often and easily. He’s a feelings dude, and he uses words broadly and evocatively. He doesn’t get why I’d rather write about feelings than talk about them in person—to him, the personal contact and the connection are inseparable.

When I try to talk about how I feel—about things that matter—spontaneously, I trip over my own tongue. I drop out mid-sentence, go silent, trying to parse my thoughts. Eye contact distracts and panics me.

I’m fascinated by the way people interact, by the subtle languages of movement and physical cues and word choice and contact. I study it obsessively without ever quite managing to bridge the theory-practice gap.

I write out notes for important phone calls.

I write out notes for important conversations.

I practice facial expressions in the mirror.

I practice inflection in the shower.

I have never not done these things.

For a very long time, I assumed everyone did them.

___

I tell all of this to my therapist, and I also tell him that I’ve realized over the last few months that the experience I’ve always characterized as empathy is not, in fact, the same thing most of the people around me mean when they say “empathy.” Mine is more like very, very well-honed pattern recognition. I am a good listener. I give very good advice. I am very good at noticing and articulating patterns and motivations people don’t recognize in themselves.

I identify with very few of them.

___

It’s not that I don’t care about other people. It’s not that I don’t have feelings, or that mine are somehow different. I think they’re probably the same as anyone else’s feelings, but I don’t interact with them in ways that make sense by the rubrics I’ve grown up learning, or the ones the people around me seem to apply.

___

I have trouble with relationships in which I don’t feel like I’m of use—in which I don’t have something concrete to offer. I am much better at the explicit economy of professional relationships than the more nebulous territory of friendships. When it’s not explicit, I find it immensely difficult for me to eke out what’s expected of me.

Social rules don’t come instinctually to me; I look for patterns and cobble together crude rubrics based on them. In school, I got teased a lot, often under the loose pretense of friendship; as a result, I don’t really trust most people who seem to like me unless I can also discern a concrete reason that they’d value my company.

__

This clip is from Season 3, Episode 16 of Community, “Virtual Systems Analysis”:

They’re in the Dreamatorium, which is where Abed and Troy and now Annie play make-believe. The Dreamatorium is Abed’s territory—he’s the one who comes up with scenarios, makes the rules—but Annie, in a fit of pique, fucks with the cardboard engine so that instead of his mind, it’s filtered through other people’s feelings and needs.

Abed interprets the result as a world without Abed.

___

This is a theme that will come up again. In Season 5, Episode 6, Abed screws up his budding relationship with a girl named Rachel (whom I mostly think of as Coat Check Girl because the fact that a character I identify that closely with is dating a character with the same name as me messes with my system). Near the end of the episode, he offers a “third-act apology”—complete with a pal providing the trope-requisite rainstorm via a watering can and stepladder. It’s a pretty recent episode, so I couldn’t find embeddable video, but here’s a screencap of Abed being sincere and damp:

And here’s the dialogue:

Coat Check Girl: Abed, this is adorable.

Abed: Just because it’s adorable doesn’t mean it’s not important. Listen. I’ve been accelerating our relationship because I’ve been worried I wouldn’t pass a lot of the tests. I wanted you to move in because I thought if Annie was around, I’d have less chance of screwing things up.

CCG: You’re not screwing things up, though.

Abed: That’s good to know.But the problem with me will always be that I can never know for sure. There’s not a huge amount of people in my life that haven’t eventually kicked me out, and I don’t always see it coming. I don’t want it to happen with you.

CCG: Well, don’t manipulate me and don’t keep secrets from me and we’ll probably be okay.

Abed: Cool.

CCG: It stopped raining.

Abed: Yeah, it sure did.

___

The pop-culture characters with whom I most closely identify—the ones in the panels and screencaps I employ as emotional surrogates—are Scott Summers, post-death-and-resurrection Doug Ramsey, and Abed Nadir.

Here are some things they have in common:

They’re outsiders. They don’t really—click—with the people around them, even when they’re central to organizations or storylines.

They’re bad communicators; or they’re good communicators in ways that serve them well under only very specific circumstances.

They’re bad at feelings and overwhelmed by intimacy.

They’re pedantic and precise.

They’re often demanding and difficult, and as often paradoxically socially naive.

They’re utility-oriented. They have trouble adjusting to or relaxing in scenarios in which they don’t fill a specific function.

They bond hard and fast. They’re fiercely loyal and protective—

—and they’re rarely the ones to leave.

__

Like Abed, I have trouble imagining a place for myself in any world not of my own making. I see other people’s tolerance of and interest in me as a finite resource, one I can renew to a limited extent by being of use, but which will eventually and inevitably run out. I have a long and serial history as a flavor of the month. I assume—based on precedent, although the individual countdowns can vary significantly—that most of my friendships are running on borrowed time.

I am aware of the things that make me an appealing companion. I’m very smart and passionate. I can be fun and whimsical and weird and wildly creative. I’m generous and loyal.

I’m even more aware of the things that make me difficult to tolerate in more than limited doses. I’m too intense. I fixate: if we both love the Wachowski Speed Racer, I will be baffled when you don’t want to watch it again immediately, and again after that. You will realize that the eclectic-but-surprisingly-in-depth frame of reference that first impressed you is both badly uneven and the product of a compulsive tendency to get swept away in minutiae. My enthusiasm will go from charming to smothering. That smart, incisive analysis you admired will get in the way of your ability to just fucking enjoy things. What looked like whimsy will turn out to be weird and sometimes weirdly hostile compulsion and pickiness. The appeal of passion and conviction will be offset by extremely rigid ethical rubrics and a tendency to be ruthlessly judgmental and dismissive. I’ll goad you into arguments, and I won’t trust you unless you push back. You will realize that I am not scintillating when I don’t have the luxury of a delete key, or pithy without a forced character limit.When we talk, you’ll notice how often and how long I pause mid-thought. That I don’t really make eye contact. You’ll try to hug me, and your feelings will be hurt when I flinch.

You’ll realize that you don’t really know me as well as you thought you did, and you won’t really see a clear path from where you are to where you think the next landing ought to be. You’ll try to understand me, and I’ll push back, hard, like you’re trying to take something away. You’ll try to comfort me when I’m hurting, and I’ll either lie or run.

Many of these are not things I’m capable of changing. I know this because I have tried so hard, over and over, in every way I can find, nonstop, for thirty-one years. I can fake it, sometimes, but if you value genuineness and emotional intimacy, that’s going to get old, too.

Eventually, you’ll get fed up. You’ll leave. It’s okay. I probably would, too.

That’s why I keep you at arm’s length.

___

Well, it’s part of why I keep you at arm’s length. I’m not a people person.

People interest me. I care about some ferociously and passionately. I care about most in at least an abstract humanitarian sense.

But people also baffle and exhaust me, and I don’t trust most of them. They generalize and assume based on very limited data sets. They touch me. From behind. In crowds. They ignore the words I have so carefully arranged to say exactly what I want them to say and project their own insecurities and needs and prejudices. They treat me like an extension of them; they subsume who I am and what I say into whatever role they want or need me to fill and then punish me when I fail to follow a script I can’t see.

I wish I were better at being what people want me to be. I wish they’d tell me what that was.

I wish I knew what the rules were.

I wish there were rules.

___

“What you’re describing sounds a lot like the experience of someone with Asperger’s Syndrome,” my therapist tells me. I point out that according to the DSM-V, Asperger’s Syndrome no longer exists as a discrete disorder.

He laughs.

__

I’ve been reading about AS, and what I read resonates with eerie specificity. This makes sense in ways that attempts to parse myself almost never do. It’s like I had a huge volume of conflicting and confusing data, and suddenly, somehow, stumbled across the equation into which most of it plugs: Einstein making the connection between the transit of Venus and the theory of relativity.

Under the circumstances, the idea that there is a system that makes sense, even one that’s still theory at this stage, provides an intense but very tautological sort of relief.

___

We talk about diagnosis, and decide there’s no real reason to pursue an official one.

My therapist doesn’t do diagnostic testing, and it’s not a process I trust anyway: my last experience, in college, was grounds-for-a-complaint-to-the-APA horrific. An official diagnosis wouldn’t confer any real advantages: it’s not like AS is medicable; I function on a level that makes it highly unlikely I’d ever seek the kind of services that require an official diagnosis; and I’m self-employed, so reasonable workplace accommodations are kind of a moot point—my career is basically a reasonable accommodation. It’s also really, really expensive. And while I’m acutely aware of the cliche of semi-self-diagnosis, and the attendant baggage, it’s kind of a drop in the waterfall when it comes to social awkwardness.

Ethically, my therapist can’t say “probably” or “I suspect” in context of anything that sounds like a diagnosis, but he says that it seems like it would be a good idea to proceed as-if, which is good enough for me.

___

This is how I explain it to The Spouse:

“Imagine I’m a computer—I know, I know, just embrace the cliché—and we’re in a world where the overwhelming majority of computers run Windows, and we’ve all kind of always assumed that I’m just kind of buggy, because while a lot of things function the way you expect them to, some things don’t or require weird workarounds, and some things just don’t run at all.

"And then, imagine figuring out that oh, shit, I’m not a Window’s box. I’m a Mac with a Windows skin. And there’s enough UI overlap that people who go in assuming I’m running Windows will just assume that I’m buggy. And, again, there’s overlap—a lot of the functions and skills translate—but not all.”

My therapist likes the operating system analogy because it implies deviation more than dysfunction, which also fits with my read. The catch, though, is that disorder and dysfunction aren’t just intrinsic qualities: they’re also contextual. It doesn’t really matter how well your OS runs if you make up less than a tenth of a percent of the software market.

___

This is what scares me: If this is real and right—which I’m fairly certain it is—there are probably things of which I’m fundamentally incapable.

I mean: there are plenty of things of which I’m fundamentally incapable. I am not ever going to be an elite athlete or the CEO of a fortune-500 company. But those are exceptional things. These are normal things—things most people assume to be universal. Things that are supposed to be universal.

I always assumed that if I tried harder and longer, if I approached those problems from enough different angles, someday something would click.

It’s frightening to realize that fake-it-‘til-you-make-it may not apply. That there might be functions I can’t replicate. That there are gulches that can’t be bridged.

I’m not usually a very jealous person, but the idea that there are common terms on which the Spouse and the Lady-Friend can relate to their other partners but not to me fucking wrecks me.

That I’ve come to terms with the idea of people leaving doesn’t mean I’m not also scared of being alone.

___

The Spouse and I have known each other since we were eleven. We’ve been together, in some form or another, for more than half our lives, and we’ve grown up shaped by that mutual proximity. We speak a common language of decades of shared experience and inside jokes; of the books over which we first made friends; of movies and games and comics; of our shared sense of humor, which is weird and oblique and so deadpan that other people sometimes have trouble picking up on it.

The Spouse is a sysadmin; when I tell him the operating-system analogy, he thinks for a minute. “No,” he ways. “They’re Macs, and you’re running Linux.”

Oblique approaches and elaborate metaphor aren’t that intuitive for him, any more than feelings are for me—but he understands how much the precision of the analogy matters, even if he doesn’t quite get why.

This is how he explains: “You’re not something totally foreign to other people: you’re based on the same core. Maybe your interface isn’t intuitive for most users, and you can’t run all the same software, but for someone willing to put in the time, you’re more versatile and better oriented for a lot of specific advanced functions and customization.”

This is what I hear: I see your value.

It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

A broken cookiez (。•́︿•̀。)

and what if it was today?

Don’t worry, i’m physically fine.

( also, if you don’t want to read, i won’t force you. )∑(;°Д°)

_________

i’m crestfallen and completely exhausted.  (。•́A•̀。)

You need to know that i genuinely hate talking about myself or my life on social networks.it’s none of your business but today ,i can’t hide it anymore. i reached an high level of sadness/tiredness .i’m also angry and artistically not satisfied. It’s clearly not an artblock or a depression. i kno’ how to handle the first one very well and the second would be childish towards the situation.

However, there is the problem: I am naturally an hyperactive person.I love doing so many things at the same time. However, i’ve been drawin’ almost only youtubers related stuff for the past 2 years . it’s not possible anymore.

1 /2 years ago,when i joined this art community,i had time to waste. Through the months, i’ve been a lot attached to Tumblr and all of you. I decided to impose myself an healthy and creative schedule.Something that could  push me to draw instead of being a lazy couch potato. Thanks to that,I’ve been extremely productive ( popularity or not,i was not expecting anything.i genuinely had fun . ) 

However, i almost lost this way of thinking. 

For the past months,i’ve been drawing for you and only for you. Since that,my life was conducted by the regularity of my posts and not by my creativity .

Who cares about eating,sleeping or working while i could draw for tons of people who claims for some doodles.  Few minutes per day ? i could give it to you. 

Months passing and these doodles became real artworks and these artworks became game concepts and now..you know the situation. i’m making a youtubers related game with an entire team. So,what was i expecting? i could handle my schedule, school+personal life and everybody would be happy? i’m not naive, i knew it was impossible buuuut  i love challenges , i love being extremely active. So where was my limit? i could finally find it .Finally. A real challenge.Something that my school was not giving to me . ( i hate competitions ,but i love personal challenges.Accumulating work and work under pressure is something i personally like.revealing your potiental through the small amount of time you get. That’s extremely difficult and challenging .)

I just want to make all of you happy and i won’t regret it. But today,the situation is different, it’s ruining my creativity and i have other IRL projects to manage. 

Right now. I need a break.

i need to draw less for you and more for me. I’ve been imposing to myself everyday new things and new challenges. At the end, the pressure was too high. 

i will now  concentrate my trashy mind on few things: My personal projects/school and S&P.  Of course, i won’t stop drawing youtubers. I love them way too much and this project is too important for me and the team.

From now,daily doodles/artworks will be COMPLETELY optional. i’m tired of this schedule. Maybe you’ll see 1 doodle per week or 5 in a row?! who knows.

I love practicing so much. I can’t believe i’ve been standing still on my old art skills  for so long.i’m a real shame, a real trash . i should not even call myself an artist. my art style have not evolve for almost one year. i hate me .oh boi.i hate myself so much.

I hope you’ll understand my choice. I need to practice and create again.

Never fear the unknow. look at me ,if i can do it, you can do it as well. you have nothing to lose. 

what i told to everyone through the months is happening to me today. PRACTICE. DRAW. AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU RE DOING. Never regret your choices and let your creativity flow.  

φ(゚ ω゚//)♡  BUT DON T WORRY ! An infinite cookie neveh die ! i’ll be always there for answering to all of your awesome asks and share your art! i will enjoy every single thing but i’ll be artistically less active ! 

Thanks for your support ! 

I will certainly upload more stuff on my other personal account @expensivebrowniez

anonymous asked:

can you make KBTBB headcanons? the bidders know mc well since high school and now they want to propose her, not confess? sorry if hard question, thank you :)

I will assume that they know each other so well that it become nature for them to part of each other life.

Eisuke
Eisuke and you are close friends since high school. Both of you help one another with homework and always hang up together. Even after graduation, you end up being a secretary of his. You know him so well that you can basically know what he is thinking most of the time. Whenever there is any company function, Eisuke will invite you as his dance partner.

The relationship has become so close that people already mistook you guys as couple or even newlyweds. One dinner function, both of you end up so drunk and eventually have raw sex with one another. That sex was so passionate and satisfying that both of you agree to continue to have more raw sex to satisfy each other sexual desire. With that you start to keep track of your menstrual cycles.

One day in his penthouse suite, Eisuke suddenly propose to you with a diamond rings. You are shock as both of you never really starts dating with one another, although you can’t deny that you do have some feeling for him. However, you do not want to feel it like an obligation because you two start having sex with one another.

“I know we did not even go for a date, but we basically know each other so well that I don’t see any reason that we need to follow the usual process. I just know that when I feel stress up, you are all I can think of and needed by my side.” He proclaimed seriously.

You are touch by his words by still can’t decide on your decision. Seeing that, Eisuke sweep you up from the floor and carry you to his bedroom.

“I know today is your ovulation day. I will impregnate and there will be no way you can reject my proposal.” He smirks.

“You are a jerk. You plan on this day on purpose right?” You protest.

He laughs and ignore you. He strips off your dress immediately, remove his shirts and pull down his pant together with his boxer. He climb on top of you and make love passionately with you that night. You have lost count how many rounds of sex that you have done with him on that night. You have lost count how many times he has cum inside you. The hot liquid is overflowing that it dirty the bed linen, but both of you do not care about it and continue to make love until morning. You only know that you need him and he need you as well.

Soryu
Soryu and you are close friends since high school. Your parents passed away in an accident during that time and Soryu invited you to stay with him since you are left all alone. Therefore, you are so use to see him in his Ice Dragons activities, even seeing him hurt himself.

You never ask him to stop because you know he got his reason. So you just help tend to his injuries whenever he got himself hurt. You also tend to his daily needs to repay his kindness. Both of you are so close that everyone think of you as his woman. Soryu never bother to correct them and neither do you.

When both of you graduate, you even help him with his administrative works which make thing a lot easier and paperwork is something he hate most. So he is glads that you are helping him with that. He trusted you with all his secrets.

Tonight, the Ice Dragons is having a party and they invited you as well. Everyone was having so much fun and drinking a lot. After the party end, you help a drunken Soryu back to his room. As you help him to untie his tie, he suddenly grabs you and pushes you down on the bed. He kisses you passionately and making you feel dizzy with his kisses. He slips off your dress easily and quickly strips himself naked. You did not stop him and give your body to him. That nights both of you make loves until you fall asleep in each other’s arms.

When you wake up the next morning, he is gone. You are disappointed but you have no regret. However, when you open door to leave his room, you saw him standing in front of the door. He presents you a diamond ring and tell you to marry him. You though he just feel responsible for sleeping with you and thus you did not agree.

“They always say you are my woman and I never deny. There is no other woman can understand me except you. Last night I was not drunk. I have sex with you is so that you will not reject my proposal. I need you by my side. Anyway I am not taking a no for an answer. In other words, I telling you that you must marry me and not asking your permission.” He declares and pull you in for a kiss. You return his kiss as you do know yourself that you need him too.

Ota
Your relationship with Ota is complicated. Both of you know each other since high school and both of you never seem to stop argue. However, when either of you needs helps, you will definitely help one another. Ota always go round telling people that he is the only one that can tease you.

You love his artwork and it never fail to surprise you each time he complete one. You even pose as a model for him sometime. You just love it when he pain out your internal beauty that only Ota can see.

After both of you graduate and Ota become famous artist. He even invites you as his partner to attend any of his reward ceremony. He claims that you are inspiration of his art and thus it makes sense for you to be around. With that, you soon become his manager and assist him.

One day after party, you are at his art gallery. He suddenly asks you if you are ok to let him draw a nude picture of you. Without any hesitation, you agree since you trusted his skills. Once you strip yourself naked, you are not sure how to pose your position since this is the first time you pose for him as naked.

He walks over to you and help you, but the moment he touch your naked skin, he can’t stop himself. He starts caress your naked body and move his hands to your inner thighs, before slowly moving upwards to your clitoris. The sensation from stimulation of his fingers on your body, make you feel dizzy. You move your hands to unzip his pants and pull out his member and move it to your clitoris. He pushes it in as if he can’t control anymore. That night, you have your first sex with him and it was so passionate that both of you wanted more.

Subsequently you have more sex with him even though he never asks you to be his girlfriend. One day he just pop up the marriage certificate in front of you and say that both of you just make it official since there is no way he can have sex with other. You laugh at his honesty and you agree to his proposal. You don’t think anyone can satisfy your sexual desire except him.

A True Masterpiece

I was wondering if you could do one where y/n is an art nerd and one day shes sitting in the court yard drawing and a bunch of slytherin come over to grab the book and making fun of the pictures. Then Sirius [young] comes over to her and stands of for her. Then he makes her feel better and tells her about his crush on her, like really fuffly

Warnings: Bullying

A/N: Characters from the potterverse belong to J.K. Rowling

Masterlists Here (x) (x)

The warm air of spring drew you onto the beach. At first, you thought you would get homework done outside, but when your eyes caught a glimpse of the picturesque landscape, you couldn’t let the scene escape your paintbrush. The sun was dancing along the water as it reflected off the waves while the air spun around the trees, the perfect ballroom of nature. Setting your books aside, you summoned your paint supplies and started capturing the scene. Your brush moving rapidly over the canvas, as if the scene was fleeting. You were adding the final additions to the painting, when you heard a cold voice behind you,

“Oh look it’s trying to paint again.” You froze in place. Of course, the one time you were enjoying yourself, the slytherins would ruin the fun.

“What do you guys want?” you asked through gritted teeth. You knew they always liked to antagonize you, but the least they could do is wait until you finished your painting.

“We’re trying to help you not embarrass yourself. How on earth does a hideous person like you think they can pain beautiful things?” the boy taunted. “My sister is six, and her scribbles look far better than your blobs of color.” You looked at your painting. It did look like blobs of color, but that was only because you hadn’t perfected the shading yet.

“Perhaps if you gave me some time I can fix this to be up to your high standards,” you scoffed and turned back to your painting. You were just about to add some details to a tree, when someone smacked the paintbrush out of your hands.

“We don’t have time for your sass Y/N. I think you need someone to teach you a lesson on painting,” the boy smirked as he grabbed your wrist. “We can start by painting your face black and blue.” You tried to get away, but the boy held you in place. You looked around frantically; no one was around. Why did you have to choose the one area without students nearby? You closed your eyes. It would all be over soon, you thought, it always was.

“Hey, get away from her!” another voice shouted.  You opened your eyes up just a hair and saw the voice belonged to Sirius. His wand was pointed at your tormentor. “Back away from her or I will hex you.”  Your bully dropped your wrist immediately.

“I don’t see why you bother protecting horrible art such as her face,” he sneered as he walked away. Sirius raised his wand to hex the boy, but you placed a hand over his,

“Don’t encourage him by adding to the violence Sirius.” Sirius looked at you, the anger still burning in his eyes and slowly lowered his wand. When your bully was far enough away, you backed away from Sirius and started to gather your things when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Why are you putting your stuff away?” Sirius asked. “It’s safe to paint here.”

“I’m not much in the mood to paint. I can’t take the critique I suppose,” you shrugged.

“I don’t think you’re a bad painter. I’ve seen you paint many times from start to finish,” Sirius replied. “You’re really good at this.” You were shocked; you didn’t believe anyone noticed your paintings.

“I didn’t know you watched me paint. Most people tell me to get out of the way,” you smiled. “You never struck me as an art guy.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” Sirius laughed. “How about you get to know me over dinner?” You blushed wildly in surprise. First, he rescued you and now he was asking you out. Was he tricking you?

“Are you asking me out?” you wondered. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Absolutely. I’d be honored if the masterpiece of Hogwarts would go on a date with me,” Sirius winked. You were always the wallflower, never the apple of anyone’s eye. It was such a shock to you that Sirius wanted to get to know the real you, something no one at Hogwarts tried to do.  

“I’d love dinner,” you grinned. “Hopefully we’ll go somewhere that isn’t full of jerks.” Sirius nodded in agreement,

“ I think I have an idea where we can go, but I have some business to attend to first.” Sirius turned away to walk back up to the castle. You knew that determined look in his eye. He was going to hex your bully. You placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him, and he let out a loud sigh.

“You know I’m going to hex him when you aren’t around don’t you?” Sirius laughed.

“I figured you promising me you wouldn’t hex him was too good to be true,” you rolled your eyes.  Much to your relief, Sirius sat down on the ground. He had put his quest of hexing your tormentor on hold for now at least.

“You’re the one that’s too good to be true,” Sirius replied causing you to blush. The sun had moved in the sky, but the scene from earlier was still embedded in your mind. How could you forget, the day that your knight in shining armor saved you.

Video Game Club

Read on AO3

Rating: PG
Summary: Michael and Gavin try to figure out a way so that they could spend a lot more time with each other without it seeming suspicious around the school. Gavin comes up with the idea of making a Video Game club (called Achievement Hunter), where all they do is “play video games” (it’s really just several make-out sessions). Gavin was sure that no one would want to join–that is, until someone actually wants to join.
Word Count: 3075
Prompt

ExcerptThey didn’t hear the door open, but when Michael opened his eyes for a brief second, he quickly pushed Gavin away—Gavin fell to the ground and he yelped with pain.
“Ow, Michael! That wasn’t nice. You little bugger, I would have easily just moved off of you–” Gavin noticed that Michael’s eyes were wide and staring at the door. Gavin turned around and squeaked when he saw a person standing there, his own eyes popped out. He pointed at the door.
“Should I just leave, or…?” The guy started, his voice a little quiet. “Didn’t mean to intrude on your guys’ moment.”  

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