Paul Abrahamian & Victor Arroyo from Big Brother 18 make their way into the cast wrap party at Clifton’s in Downtown LA. (Sept 22, 2016)


El Dorado (Goodbye, Utah)

Mi amor, I’m surrounded by mountains.
I’m inside their ring, one never to know

a ring finger. I miss the pueblo of our
nakedness. A magnet pulls at me tonight,

the opposite of the Pacific Sea’s name.
I tire of burying sunsets in this nuevo west,

of turquoise shops selling the wrong sky,
and of the search for El Dorado dwindling

into a hunt for a high; it’s all a bare-bones
version of salvation. This isn’t a tequila

letter or an abstract tourniquet. You may
only hear this as an echo, a cartographer’s

mumble. Sometimes, I travel too far from
myself and need proof that I’ve not died.

How I miss your bed’s golden myopia.
I’m even without moonlight’s silver tonight.

Rane Arroyo