do you ever just get hit with a truckload of inspiration from reading a fic because????? i have
this is a gift for @adreamingsongbird!! THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING FIC!! and for answering my questions about their clothes lmaoo
(you could read this beautiful fichere!! that’s right read it >>here<< and you should definitely read it right now at this moment because it’s great and i’m in love and did i mention that it’s beautiful???)
Do NOT let a man make you feel guilty for “acting like a prostitute”, I.e demanding compensation upfront. Ive had 3 situations in my life where the man didn’t pay me upfront, in cash. Each time he has a bogus ass reason, I.e. it makes it feel less genuine, he doesn’t like how the girls act after he pays them, etc…EACH of these 3 times (note I see men multiple times a week over the last 2 years…so, LOTS of experience)…I was cheated!!
1. I was a senior in college. This man sent an electronic bank payment while we were at the hotel. The payment WAS sent, but never went through, I.e the bank denied it the next business day. He never paid up.
2. The man (stupid me, thought I could trust him), said he’ll pay me after. Well after he suggested we go to the bar, then have another round. We go downstairs. I turn for one second, this motherfucker RUNS away.
3. The man convinced me that he’d give me $ after, which he did, but during the act, made me feel like I had to succumb to doing things I didn’t wanna do, so that I’d get paid. He ends up NOT using a condom against my demands and I had to take a plan B and actually considered filing a lawsuit for a long time. FUCK him. Really. I wish the worst on him.
I recently met with a man off SA who just refused to give it to me upfront. We legit argued for 10 minutes. He tried to kiss me as if I was there to play with his saggy azz and give in, I pushed him away and left. Honestly just typing these stories makes my blood boil so Ima stop right there.
Moral is. Of my 100s of tricks I’ve turned, never has it gone well when he refuses to compensate you upon your arrival. Stay safe ladies. Don’t let these disgusting delusional trouts finesse you. Learn from my mistakes. Xo
I created the sugar list out of need. I needed to songs to get ready to, to boost my confidence to, to remember why I had decided to go pro in the first place. Once I started the list, I found myself listening to and discovering new songs to add to the list. It’s an ever growing monster that I hope you enjoy. There are some songs that would be perfect on this playlist that I avoided because I had exhausted their appeal to me and others because I didn’t like the artist or the message they were providing. This list is just a jumping off point. Tweak it to your hearts content.
Whatever You Like- T.I.- Perhaps one of the first songs I ever heard that talked about sugaring. It’s still a dream. A man that will look me in the eye and say I can have whatever I like? Please, sugar gods, please.
Can’t Tell Me Nothing- Kanye West- This is my reminder that I’m not sugaring for accessories. I’m trying to better myself. To get certain things that will advance me towards my goal. To build a business that will get my money so right, I’ll only have men around for giggles.
All N My Grill- Missy Elliott- To the men who want to text and email and date the women they met on SD sites but don’t want to do the one thing that the site says they should be doing. Why aren’t they paying bills?
She Wants to Move- N.E.R.D. - When it’s time for me to leave you, when it’s time for me to dance, you don’t need to come with me, daddy.
About the Money- T.I.- His second feature on this list and perhaps one of the more obvious songs. If it aint about the money, why are we speaking? What else could you possibly offer?
Mascara- Jazmine Sullivan- Perhaps the song that speaks the most blatantly about life as a sugar baby on this list and the song that I think should be the sugar baby anthem, it’s a reminder to always stay well dressed, always stay ready for more.
askdjf im doing a request for Cosette’s wedding bouquet and I was like “hm fleur de lys is ‘flame or burning’ that could work” but then I remembered it’s a symbol of the French monarchy and I just pictured Enjolras’ ghost knocking the bouquet from Cosette’s hands cause “GODDAMMIT MARIUS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”
Petition to make a set of Yuuri!!! On Ice music boxes, like those old-fashioned ones with a spinning ballerina. Except that it’s yoi characters in their costumes, spinning to the corresponding song to the costume. Just imagine that for a second guys. Imagine Yuuri and Viktor spinning together in their beautiful matching outfits, to a music box arrangement of Stay Close To Me. Just imagine it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging to bring you even more of my ridiculous obsession with the arranged marriage royalty AU. You can blame @operaticspacetrash for this monstrosity. THE HYPE IS REAL and I am trash.
(P.S. click for bigger version, I think it looks best like that.)
Last night I met Mr. Banks for the first time. I picked the restaurant since he’s not from my city. I walked into the restaurant wearing this sexy burgundy dress, and made sure to wear the diamond earrings I bought with the money he sent me. So I told the host his name and she shows me to the table. He saw me walking towards the table and stood up and gave me a hug, pulled out my chair and whispered in my ear that I smelled so good. His voice is so smooth and sexy. I’m so glad he’s attractive. He definitely looks better and younger in person too. So we talked about life, what my goals and aspirations are, if I plan on moving out of Ohio, do I like traveling, what my nationality is etc. He knew I was mixed but wanted to know more because he said I looked very “exotic”. (I’m Dominican and Black so a lot of SD’s in the past have actually given me more money since I’m exotic). He said he loves my curves, and loves the way I dress. Mr Banks made me feel very comfortable. I thought it was going to be awkward but it wasn’t. After we had a few more drinks we began talking about what kind of arrangement we both wanted. He know’s I have experience and I’m intelligent. I’m not going to let anyone “try” to take advantage of me. At the end of the day it’s a business. So Mr. Banks comes to my city on the weekends. We had already agreed a few days ago to seeing each other when he’s here for $1,500 a weekend. If he wants to see me more, which I know he will, then I told him it would be more during the week due to my work and school schedule etc. which is reasonable… (Aim high ladies!) I thought he was going to try to negotiate but he didn’t he just smiled and said ok and he completely understands. Omg his smile is perfect lol. I told him that he has no idea what he’s getting himself into lol. He literally had his hand on my thigh the entire dinner. He wasn’t trying to go up my dress or anything he just kept his hand on my thigh… The waitress looked at his hand then looked at me. I just smiled and so did he. He didn’t even look at her but he could tell she was looking at him. He clearly didn’t give a fuck who saw and I didn’t really care either. I’m guessing he’s going to be the type that loves some type of physical contact because he kept his hands on my waist while I was standing up also. It’s like he’s letting everyone know that I’m his. Which is sexy to me. So I’m walking a head of him and I look back and he has a black bag in his hand. So I’m getting ready to get into my Uber and he kisses me and gives me the bag. I was not expecting that at all, he completely caught me off guard. He told me not to open it until I got home and to call him when I got home. When I got home I opened it and called him. He gave me an envelope with $1,500 in cash and a black Gucci mini chain bag which is $1,400! I told him thank you probably like 10 times lol and told him that he didn’t have to do that on our first date and he said he knows and he was only going to give it to me if the date went well. I’m so thankful it went well.
10. Laziness is not your friend. I was lazy and lacked perseverance. I believed that the bare minimum of effort would yield high results. I thought there was a man willing to give me everything I wanted while I amused myself by not giving him anything he wanted. I completely ignored the mutually in “mutually beneficial arrangement”
9. Don’t be a selective reader. Part of the reason why I thought my laziness was okay was because I was a selective reader and peruser of the SB tag. I read all of the success stories and liked the glam photos but ignored the few sugar babies that said this was really hard work
8. Read the books. I didn’t read any of the suggested books. There are several reading lists floating around. It wasn’t until I’d quit the bowl for the second time that I took a moment to read any of the books on them. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes, and Simply Irresistible by Ellen T White are my personal favorites and I practically have them memorized I’ve read them so many times.
7. Don’t be conceited- especially if you don’t have a reason.I didn’t. I thought that I deserved a $10k allowance (well at least $5k) because I’d read a few posts about knowing your worth. But knowing your worth has nothing to do with the dollar amount you receive. And I didn’t know a damn thing. My experiences in the bowl got easier once I admitted I was clueless.
6. Money does not make a person better than you. I thought that because these men had money they were better than me. It made me accommodating. Once I remembered that money was common and was not an indication of character or intelligence, I remembered something else: this was sugar dating and dating wasn’t new to me. On a date, you’re simply a man and a woman. Being a woman having dinner with an interested man was much easier.
5. An SD can come from anywhere. There is a general consensus that most, if not all, of the sugar sites are trash and the men on them are salty but I still believed that was the only place to find an SD. Tinder proved me wrong. Twice.
4. Be clear on why you joined the bowl. I wasn’t clear on what I wanted to accomplish as a sugar baby. I had the pictures of pretty things planted in my mind but they didn’t sit right with me. They weren’t enough. Once I decided I wanted a business of my own, things began to fall into place.
3. You won’t win them all. I thought I could/had to convince every man to be my SD. I drove myself a little crazy trying to figure out ways to make myself universally pleasing. That is impossible. For a brown sugar baby, the truth is you won’t please most men. So we have to change our mindsets. We aren’t going to please every man but we will please the right men. We will attract the right men. And that’s who we should focus on.
2. You can’t do this alone. I tried to do this without a support system of sugar babies. Ho friends are great but they still don’t get it the way a fellow sugar baby does. I know that having sugar babies reach out to me when I first started meant the world. Know that when I want to quit writing, reading your messages and anons have made me sit down and write. And knowing that @lustington and @brownstatuesquesugarbaby are just a message away? It’s one of the only reasons why we aren’t discussing my quitting the bowl for the third time. Please don’t do this alone. I’m not the best at messaging as poor @lustington is learning (thanks for being patient with me!) but I’ll be here to talk. No one understands the way we do. My family is supportive but still… Build your support system. You WILL need them.
1. Be yourself. I thought I had to be the sugar baby that Tumblr said I had to be. I thought I had to follow all of the rules Tumblr sugar babies told me to follow. But they weren’t me and I wasn’t good at not being myself. Once I became more selective about the advice I took and determined to be myself the only thing that changed was everything. Your safety is paramount. That advice should be followed. But don’t feel that you have to change your personality because of what you read on the internet. Trust yourself and your intuition.
*Bonus*You’ll never feel 100% ready. And you won’t be. You won’t learn until you do. Take as many safety precautions as you can. Get your life in as much order as you can and dive in.
*Bonus* Don’t ever be afraid to let a man go. If they’re leaving it’s to make room for something or someone else. If keeping them will compromise you or your happiness, let them go. It’s raining wealthy men. You just need to know where to find them.
What did I miss? Is there something you wish you had known when you entered the bowl?