arran price

Criminals walk free at Horde Gathering - attendees dumbfounded

The representatives of the most important Horde organisations met again this Wednesday for the monthly Horde Gathering. But attendees were shocked by the unexpected presence of the orc warlock Goodwill Godsgrief, a savage creature known best for his association with the notorious Arran Price, a powerful undead mage who bamboozled the Venomspine Pariahs for a period of several months. The warlock Godsgrief was condemned to death by the Horde Gathering in a previous meeting.

Goodwill Godsgrief, associate of the nefarious Arran Price

So flabbergasted were the attendees by Godsgrief’s attendance that it did not occur to anyone to apprehend him, and the Gathering proceeded as normal. The Venomspine Pariahs were in attendance, represented by Morsteth Blightreek. Mr Blightreek started his address by mentioning a recent assault on the dwarves of Thandol Span, and he complained that the Pariahs did not receive assistance from the other members of the Gathering. Some readers will find this unsurprising, as the Venomspine Pariahs have long been unpopular with other Horde organisations, no doubt due to their incompetent diplomats and general villainy.

Mr Blightreek also tried to describe recent military action against the worgen in Gilneas, but he was repeatedly interrupted by other members of the Pariahs as he struggled to keep his delegation under control. The lack of discipline and decorum among the Pariahs forced Mr Blightreek to give up on describing the Pariahs’ actions in Gilneas, and he quickly moved on. He commented on the attendance of the warlock Godsgrief, wondering out loud how he happened to be walking free. However, Mr Blightreek did not have the imagination to simply capture the warlock, nor did any of the other attendees. One wonders how he manages to tie his shoes in the morning.

Morsteth Blightreek, incompetent representative of the Venomspine Pariahs

The Red Reach Raiders were in attendance, an organisation known for their bloodthirsty piracy across the Eastern Kingdoms. However, the Raiders were not represented by the notorious pirate captains Nakris or Crankbot, but rather an attractive blood elf woman who did not introduce herself.

The Red Reach Raiders’ representative described the Raiders’ most recent activity as including “improving the trade supplies of the Horde in the Eastern Kingdoms” and “moving key supplies along the land”. She made no mention of raiding or piracy of any kind. It appears that following the Raiders’ bloody internal leadership struggles, they have now become a legitimate shipping and logistics company. The Glamour Gutter wishes them the best of luck under their new sensible, prudent, blood elven control.

Who is this mysterious representative of the Red Reach Shipping Company?

The escaped criminal Godsgrief claimed to be attending the Gathering on behalf of an organisation called the “Underdark Brotherhood”. He stated that they were an organisation acting in service of the Horde, although when questioned he refused to disclose what exactly they do. Asked for a broader description of the Underdark Brotherhood’s intent, Godsgrief stated that one of their goals was to seek out traitors within the Horde. One wonders if the members of this nefarious organisation have ever investigated a mirror.  Readers are advised to steer clear of this suspicious organisation, and to report any agents to the local guards.

Godsgrief condemned the Venomspine Pariahs for having attempted to ambush him a total of three times. At this point, it is astounding that an organisation can be so incompetent as to fail to stop a simple orc after three separate ambush attempts. Mr Blightreek later asked Godsgrief how he had managed to escape the Pariahs after their latest failure. Under other circumstances this might be regarded as desperate, but it is clear that the Pariahs can use any help that they can get, even if they have to resort to soliciting advice from their own captives.

The Venomspine Pariahs have failed repeatedly to apprehend the orc, Godsgrief

The orc Godsgrief claimed to have been given a pardon for all his past actions by a high-ranking Horde official. This seems highly unlikely, as such a pardon would have to overrule the previous judgment of all the members of the Horde Gathering, and as such would only be warranted in truly exceptional circumstances. Readers would be well-advised to still regard Godsgrief as a dangerous fugitive.

In a dramatic diplomatic insult, Godsgrief tossed a necklace made from human fingers at Mr Blightreek. Godsgrief claimed that the fingers were from members of the Venomspine Pariahs. He also threatened the Pariahs by boasting that he had spies embedded within the Pariahs’ ranks. Presumably, informing your enemies of your spies is standard operational security protocol within the Underdark Brotherhood.

The Gathering ended on a whimper, as the other attendees were too cowardly to apprehend Godsgrief. The attendees were interrupted on their way out by an unaffiliated pandaren woman who took the stage in order to tell her life’s story and ask the attendees for aid. She would be unremarkable if not for the fact that she was a pandaren death knight. How unusual! Godsgrief offered the services of the Underdark to aid the pandaren, which made it clear that at least Godsgrief and his cohorts are not as despicable as the Venomspine Pariahs, who offered no aid.

Although nothing of substance was achieved by this month’s gathering, the reemergence of Godsgrief is certainly troubling. It is our hope that some more competent enforcement organisation can finally do away with this savage in order to put an end to the embarrassment of the Venomspine Pariahs.