around the serpentine

You would have been 11 today. You would have curled around me like a serpentine thing and fallen asleep within minutes. Do I say I miss you? Is it enough? We are creatures built to love, you and I, and the price for that magic is loss. The price is this ache. Know that I will pay it, know that I will gladly feel the hole in me that you left. Do I say I miss you? Know that you saved my life, more times than I could count, in ways I cannot begin to mention. Happy Birthday my perfect Hobbes. I will celebrate you this day, as I do every day, and I will feel you near me as I look for you again, for I know you are here now, I know you chose to come back, even though you did not have to return. You are here, within me, and you are here, saving someone else’s life, one piece at a time, while I type these words. Happy Birthday Hobbes. I love you.

how to win in jumpers (with steps)

1. groom horse
2. put your Ogilvy set, CWD saddle, running martingale, and bellyguard on horse
3. strap on the pinch boots
4. put on figure eight bridle (even if your horse doesnt need it you have to sorry i dont make the rules)
5. make sure to use the most unnecessary bit possible
6. step into your weirdly shaped/colored stirrups and get on
7. head to the schooling ring
8. once you’re there, start warming up
9. make sure to almost crash into other people multiple times to assert dominance
10. once you’re ready, go to the ring
11. go over the course
12. go over it again
13. draw it in the air
14. once you’re sure you know it, go over it again
15. walk into ring. or trot. or gallop. its the jumpers, who cares
16. while waiting for the buzzer, do a deformed serpentine around the ring
17. show your horse “scary” jumps even though they could care less
18. when the buzzers sound, head to the first jump
19. the entire purpose of the jumper division is to make the spectators have heart attacks. if you dont hear gasps at every jump, you’re doing it wrong
20. when jumping, remember distances don’t matter. neither do strides. just go clear
21. ignore your trainer’s desperate pleas to slow down
22. after your last jump, lay on the horses neck and kick them. galloping through the timers is key
23. if by some miracle you manage to go clear, draw your jump off course in the air
24. in the jump off, think of the jumps as speedbumps
25. go as fast as possible and rip off your horse’s face through the turns
26. remember step #19
27. make those weird sounds/grunts over some jumps that you think make your horse jump better
28. after last jump, repeat #22 and slap horse’s neck as hard as possible while smiling
29. try to go straight from canter to walk when exiting, as your horse is probably dead lame at the trot now
30. congratulations, you are now a successful jumper

some serpentine variations >:)) yea

  • low-class: most common serpentine. they stay on homeworld, but if needed (they usually are,) they are brought along on missions!! they’re pretty useful, and trained for almost anything that requires intelligence.
  • middle-class: strictly reserved for missions. they can range from squads of 3-10. their purpose is to discover useful planets for kindergartens. you’ll most likely never see a middle-class serpentine wondering around. (unless it’s our serpentine…)
  • high-class: rarest serpentine… EVER,, they’re usually enhanced with limb extensions and blasters and what have you. they’re powerful and demanding, and lead the pack of their much weaker field scientists along the planets. there is one of these leaders for each squad + spacecraft.

serpentines are a gem of fortune and wealth huh,, this is how homeworld rakes in the dough LMAO,,