around the globe in less than a week


We live in a world where a man, hated by many around the globe, announcing his first book resulted in people crying  ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘neo-nazi’, ‘white supremacist’, ‘censor this book’ and ‘boycott the publisher’.

The result of these attacks? The book tops the Best Seller list on Amazon within 24 hours of going on sale, more than two months before it is even released, and it is absolutely glorious to watch. Meanwhile, Hillary’s latest book sold less than 3000 copies in its first week.

I thought that people would have learnt their lesson after the US election, but apparently they still hold faith in the “throw generic insults and attempt to censor anyone with a different opinion” strategy.

Well played to Milo and his publishers Simon and Schuster. You have made all the haters look like fools and will profit nicely on the back of their ineffective tactics.

Better With You By My Side

prompt: Dan and Phil are both sons of rich families and are sent to ballroom dancing lessons. Because there is a shortage of girls, Dan and Phil end up as partners. Phil really doesn’t want to be there and Dan doesn’t either, but is so frustrated by the fact Phil doesn’t want to dance with him he is determined to get him to.

a/n: jm so sorry about this idk im really not happy with this chapter but i hope it’s somehow okay also shit happens in vienna cool goodbye 




ryan: dan it’s been 4 days

ryan: how long are you planning to keep this ignoring thing up?

ryan: daaann

ryan: daninator

On the bright side, it’s the most response Dan’s ever managed to get out of Ryan for about three months, although the hypocrisy and borderline fondness of his words make him want to retch.

No. He tells himself. He’s managed four days. He can’t crack now.

He distracts himself by visiting the neglected group chat, and to his surprise Ryan’s chatting perfectly fine to their other friends as opposed to going into hiding until Dan expects another inquisitive message from Max about his whereabouts. He can’t tell if he’s relieved or not by this.

jake: lads

jake: can we all meet up soon

jake: i miss u

Dan’s heart leaps into his throat, coming to the realisation he’d willingly throw himself into the Sun if it meant never having to face Ryan ever again

dan: if it’s before friday then yea

jake: why

max: our old dancing buddy’s off to the other side of the globe that’s why

dan: it’s austria not new zealand

max: smh aren’t they right next to eachother anyway

dan: omg by austria I don’t mean a typo of australia

dan: I mean austriA as in that country near germany

ross: geography wizard as well as a dancing queen

ross: they should pay you double

dan: thanks

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