I present this scenario: any of the FAKES being able to go into a grocery store on a Tuesday morning and not get the police called on them. Not because they're better disguised or because of better behaved (neither of those could ever happen fully) but because the employees don't give a shit and don't exactly wanna die because a hungover Mogar Jones decided he wanted a metric fuck ton of pop tarts at 8am
Bless everything about this fucking post.
I don’t really know what to add except the mental image of three exasperated employees watching Mogar Jones wander around their little store at like 7:30 in the goddamn morning. They think they’re going to be robbed, at first, but it looks like he’s not interested in the cash register, so they just sort of … watch?
And he comes up and he’s bleary-eyed and his jacket’s not done up and he really just looks like shit. And he throws like sixteen boxes of pop tarts down on the counter and a box of tampons, muttering something under his breath about “fucking gavin” and “goddamn jack” and just bitching and swearing.
The employees have no idea what to do except ring him up. And he actually fucking thanks them and throws a twenty on the counter and wanders away without waiting to get change.
They end up telling the story for months.