aromantic spectrum

Shout out to the aromantics

-The aromantics who always have people saying that it’s so sad they’ll never get married

-The aromantics who are told that it’s just a phase

-The aromantics who have people telling them they just haven’t found the right person yet

-The grey aros who feel like they were faking it if/when they do find the right person

-The demiromantics who are told “that’s normal”

-The quoiromantics who don’t know if they even experience romantic attraction

-The quoi-___romantics who constantly get told they’re invalid because “if you cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction then how do you know that its only ____”

-To all the lith/akoiromantics who are told that they just have attachment issues

-To the cupioromantics who are shit on by the alloromantic community for not loving people romantically and by the aromantic community for wanting a relationship anyway

-To the mentally ill aromantics who are told its just because of their mental health

-To the autistic quoiromantics who are told that they’re confused because they’re autistic

-Just… here’s to all the aromantics out there who are constantly ignored, even by supposedly inclusive blogs/posts.

Squishing

Explaining a squish is so hard like you don’t feel romantic attraction towards them but you feel something more than just wanting to be their friend. Like you kinda feel a pull towards them and it’s so hard to explain but you know that your feelings are there.

You know what? There are a lot of things I don’t understand about the LGBT community as a binary trans mlm. I don’t understand how trans people can be non-dysphoric, because my experience with dysphoria is very different. I don’t understand why there are so many MOGAI labels, or why xenogenders and things of the sort exist. I don’t understand how some lesbians can use he/him pronouns. I don’t understand why some nonbinary people use neopronouns when they can just use they/them. I don’t understand why there are so many ace/aro spectrum labels, because frankly I myself don’t like labels that much.

But guess what? I’m not an asshole.

I respect trans people and acknowledge that they are trans even if they don’t have dysphoria, because I know being trans isn’t an universal experience and is different for everyone.

I respect MOGAI labels, even if I think they are ‘cringy’ and unnecessary, because if they make you happy then what’s wrong with them? What’s wrong with using more words to describe yourself?

I respect he/him lesbians and use their pronouns, because even though I don’t fully understand why, it’s obvious that these pronouns make them more comfortable and as a trans person I understand that.

I use and respect the neopronouns for my nonbinary siblings even though I may say them wrong sometimes (I don’t have a lot of experience with them) because I understand what it’s like to be referred to as the wrong pronouns.

I respect ace/aro identities, regardless of ace discourse, because they are valid, and I don’t need to understand why or how someone chooses to identify. I myself would technically be demisexual, but I don’t choose to identify that way because it feels unnecessary. But if you feel like it fits? You do you.

Here’s a thought: you don’t need to understand something in order to respect it. Just let people keep identifying how they identify, they aren’t doing anyone any harm. And guess what? Even if they do turn out to be cishet, that’s fine too. At the end of the day, all we have done is earn an ally to the community.

So in class this week, I was wearing my asexual flag bracelet like I usually do, and I was talking to some kid about taking my final. I was really nervous and was asking him what exactly we had to do for the final, it was a spoken german final. He said “It’s really easy! I did pretty okay, but I’m sure you’ll ACE IT!” and pointed to my bracelet with a huge grin.

That was literally the first time anyone had actually noticed my bracelet and I was so happy.

Plus I did ace the test, which is a bonus ;)

Daily reminder that you are not obligated to seek romantic love in your life. You are not broken, you don’t owe anybody anything. You, just like everybody else, are capable of living a happy, satisfying life without needing or wanting romance or romantic relationships. You do you. There’s no rulebook to romance, or lack thereof.

We need more aro-spec postivity

For those who do not feel attracted towards anyone yet wish to be in a relationship thus felt lonely (and maybe still do) until they found out they were aro

For those who think they are attracted towards someone but then end up with their attraction fading away

For those who are attracted to someone one day and not the other and feel like they’re living on a roller coaster

For those who enjoy romance in theory or in the media but don’t feel it towards others and have a hard time explaining their experiences

For those who can’t tell the difference between the various types of attractions and are unsure of themselves

For those who think they might be aro-spec but don’t know where exactly they fall on the spectrum which leads them to doubt themselves

For all the aro-spec people I failed to mention in this post because there are so many different kinds of us, all unique and beautiful and valid in our own ways.

We need more aro-spec postivity.

Hi I’ve been awake for a long time…

And I was thinking… I really want Disney to create a character on the ace/aro spectrums. Ya know? A character who can show kids that “hey, it’s okay if you don’t feel these things towards other people. It’s normal, not everyone does. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Cause it would save so many kids so much confusion and fear and just… pain and hatred towards themselves.

Like, I get that people are discovering themselves at younger ages and learning what these things are sooner, which is great. But it’s so hard to find representation in “big” media that a lot of young people look at and enjoy that says that this is okay. Everything is about relationships and finding your one true love, and for some that’s not what it is… I just wish Disney, or any platform that caters to kids shows, who have a main character on the spectrum… give the kids someone to look up to and to help them know that they aren’t broken.