arnold-judas-rimmer

8

Monkey meets boys
Boys turn monkey into Girl
Girl helps boys
Boys avoid catastrophe
Girl likes Boy
Boy likes Girl 
Girl trips on conveniently placed box of safety forms
Boy watches as Girl is sucked out of airlock
Any chance of booty goes out the window
Boy laments
Boy scraps overhaul of safety protocols 

10

Red Dwarf 30 Day Challenge (by @rosandguildensterns​)

Day 1 - Favourite Crew Member: Arnold Judas Rimmer BSC, SSC

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Fear not, I’m the bloke who used to clean the gunk out of the chicken soup machines! Actually, we know sod all about space travel - but if you’ve got a blocked nozzle, we’re your lads!’”

If you’re in trouble he will save the day
He’s brave and he’s fearless come what may
Without him the mission would go astray
He’s Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer

Without him life would be much grimmer
He’s handsome, trim, and no-one slimmer
He will never need a zimmer
He’s Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer

More reliable than a garden trimmer
He’s never been mistaken for Yul Brynner
He’s not bald, and his head doesn’t glimmer

Master of the wit and the repartee
His command of space directives is uncanny
How come he’s such a genius? Don’t ask me!
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer

He’s also a fantastic swimmer
And if you play your cards right
Then he just might come round for dinner
He’s Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer

No rhymes left now apart from quimmer
He’d better fade us out before we get to schlimmer
Fade out you stupid plimmer

Tales Of The Rimmerbank...

Call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit the bankers hard and hit them fast with a major - and I mean MAJOR - leaflet campaign… while they’re reeling from that, we follow up with a whist drive, a carboot sale, some street theatre, possibly even some benefit concerts… OK? Now if that’s not enough, I’m sorry, but it’s time for the T-shirts… “Bankers Out”, “Gambling with the entire economy - NO THANKS…” And if THAT’S not enough, well I really don’t know what will be…