army dads

This looks like the beginning of a music video

Kneel Laufeyson By Loki

Featuring the number one hit: You’re not my dad”

Bonus track: I do what I want“

Q: Who do you think will be the best dad?  -  Leeteuk: Maybe it’s me. But I will pick Donghae. Donghae has a lot of thoughts about marriage. He told me once when I asked him about his dream that he wants to be a great father.

Remember when.. Donghae is laughing after he made poor Seowonnie cry. I imagine him as great but a bratty dad xD

My Mess

Woah guys I’ve been writing this for two days. Enjoy some sub!cal smut, followed by some lovely fluffy happy shit. I am so happy about this one guys y’all have no idea. Enjoy.

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You pull into the driveway, parking, then carrying yourself up the front porch steps to the front door. Calvin always leaves the door unlocked for you. You open up the door, assuming Cal was in bed, trying to get some sleep. He works so hard. The house is dark, and the dogs don’t even bother to get up and greet you, they only look up and go back to sleeping.

You hang up your jacket, set down your purse and make sure you lock the door. As you slip off your shoes, you hear it. A small moan, all the way down the hallway, from your room.

“That little shit,” you think to yourself. He was getting off.

He must not have heard you come in, he knew the consequences. He would have stopped. You decide to sneak up on him.

Tip toeing down the hallway, you hear his moans a little louder, and the iconic fake moans of every pornstar ever. The door is cracked, and you peek in. The sight makes you smile, and you honestly want to giggle a bit. He was a mess, his hair sweaty, sticking to his face. Laptop to his left, playing some ridiculous porn. Hand on his cock. Correction, he was a moaning mess.

“Naughty…” You call out. He jumps in shock, and you swear you hear him whimper. There was no getting out of it, no pretending it was something else. It was exactly what it looked like. He pauses the video he was watching.

“I..” Cal starts.

You walk into the bedroom, and you watch as Calvin pulls the blankets up over himself, wearing only a shirt. You turn around, no longer looking at him, and you begin taking off your earrings. You hear the blankets rustle behind you.

“Stop touching yourself, Cal.” You remind him. Turning around and seeing him slowly pull his hand out from under the blankets.

“I..” He starts again.

“Shut up, you’re in trouble.” You snap, pulling your top over your head, unbuttoning your jeans. You slip them off, then sit on his edge of the bed.

“What are we going to do with you, naughty boy?” You whisper to him, pressing your body to his, kissing his jawline.

“I’m sorry,” he squeaks, his voice cracks and you kiss him, silence. You feel Cal’s body tense as you slip your hand under the sheets, tracing your fingers over the exposed skin on his tummy and hips. You bring your hand closer and closer to his cock, then suddenly pull your hand out of the blankets.

“Ooh!” You smile, “I have an idea.”

You get up off the bed, wandering to the nightstand on your side of the bed, opening the drawer and pulling out your little black box. Calvin is staring at you intently, watching your every move.

“You couldn’t even wait for me to get home, could you?” You ask him, teasingly pulling back the covers, exposing his lower body.

Exaggeratedly whispering, “You were sooo horny, that you’d rather hump your own hand than wait.. Oh how long?” You move the mouse on his computer screen, seeing the porno had been playing about 10 minutes. “Ten minutes, before I came home.”

Cal is silent, watching your hands, how your fingers trace over the dips of his hip bones. You dig your fingernails into his thigh, and he whimpers audibly this time.

“Answer me, Calvin.” You snap, continuing to slowly scratching down his thigh, listening to his heaving breaths.

“Yes, Yes! Fuck.” He growls out, arching his back and whimpering as you dig your nails in harder.

You release your grip on him, and he sighs, on the edge of hyperventilation.

“So,” you demand, “You’re telling me you’d rather cum all over your stomach, fucking your hand, than down my throat.”

“No. No- Oh fuck.” He whispers, as you bring your hand to him, giving his cock a few strokes. You let go immediately and he whimpers again.

“Naughty boy.. You have no self control do you? Fucking into anything you can, whenever you’re horny, have you changed at all since the age of 15, Calvin?”

You take his cock in your hand, massaging his frenulum with your thumb, rubbing it across his cock head. He chokes out a moan, and as you glide your thumb over his sensitive slit he moans;

“No, No I ha-haven’t.” You giggle at him, writhing with pleasure from only your hand, only your fingers even.

You open your black box of toys, you two had opted to take the extra security of a second box than letting your toys just sit around in the drawer. You squeeze a bit of lube onto your fingers, loving the sigh Calvin lets out as the cool gel makes contact with his cock.

“Oh, honey, if you’re going to be naughty, at least do it right.” You whisper to him, sliding your fingers along his length, taking him into your fist, and giving him a few strokes. Calvin grips at the sheets as you stroke him. Choking on his own moans each time your hand glides over the head of his cock.

“Fa-aster, please.” He moans. And you comply, sliding your hand up and down his length faster, his hips buck up, his moans more frequent.

“I’m-.” He starts, and you take your hand away from his cock completely. Watching as he bucks his hips in some desperate attempt to cum.

His hands slowly go up, to his head, and he lets out an almost comical groan. You hadn’t bothered to tie him, aside from when he was home alone for too long, he knew better than to touch anything without permission.

“You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?” You ask him, pinning his hips back down to the bed with the heels of your hands.

“Pl-please,” he whines.

“But I have something I want to try,” you smile. “You don’t need to cum now.” Cal whines again, and you trace your fingers down his length.

You begin digging through the box, Calvin looking at you, completely motionless.

“Let’s start on the lowest setting,” you say to yourself. “Anything higher would be too intense.”

You knew he wouldn’t get past the third setting on the vibrator. Not in his current state. As you take the wand from the box, you see Calvin’s eyes light up. He thought he was going to get to fuck you, as you use the wand on yourself occasionally during sex.

Cal attempted to sit himself up against the pillows, expecting sex. You shake your head at him, and he lays back down.

“You will only cum when I tell you you can, okay?” You ask, for clarification. He nods quickly. Whimpering as you stroke him gently.

“Can you control yourself, or do I need to tie your hands?”

“I’ll be good..” He whispers, “What are you going to do?” He asks, nerves making his voice crack in the sexiest way.

You turn the wand onto its first setting. Deciding to go all out with this, you press it against the underside of his cock head, and to your surprise, he doesn’t jump, he doesn’t try to pull away. That was good, you worried the stimulation would be too much all at once. Instead, he melts into the touch of the vibrating head of the wand, moaning loudly. You slide the wand down Calvin’s cock, back up, and under it where the head of his cock laid against his tummy. His moans, again becoming more constant, louder, his hips twitch. You can tell he’s holding back, trying to be quiet.

You’re sitting between his legs, holding this vibrating wand to his cock, denying his orgasm, punishing him. The sight in front of you gives you the power surge you need to switch off the vibrations. Tearing his building orgasm away from him.

“Am I going to catch you touching yourself again, Calvin?” You ask him, in a tone dripping with menace.

Cal shakes his head furiously. Panting, quivering.

“You’re a fucking mess.” You hiss at him, “Do you like the vibrations on your cock, naughty boy? Do you want to cum like this?” You stroke him a few times, just to keep him building on that torturous edge.

“Yes! Please, please (Y/N)!” His voice cracks, and his eyes well up with tears of frustration. His hips bucking frantically on every upstroke you make.

You turn the wand back on, deciding on a whim to go straight for setting three, and press it to the head of his cock again. This time he jumps.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Cal sobs out above you, before his sounds turn into nothing more than an unending moan sprinkled with a few animalistic grunts.

“Please,” Cal moans out.

“Go ahead my naughty boy. Cum.”

Cal’s body goes rigid, and the moans cease. The only sound in the room for a good 10 seconds is Calvin’s panting. Then all at once, his back arches, his mouth opens and his breathing stops as he lets out silent, almost wheezing sobs. He breathes in violently, his cock strains harder against the wand as his body lets go. His hands mindlessly pull at the sheets.

“Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygodohmy GOD!” You feel his cum dripping down your fingers, but you can’t take your eyes away from his face. His eyes squeezed closed, mouth slightly open, sweaty hair sticking to his face. His whole body jerks with each contraction of his orgasm, and he continues to shake long after it actually ends.

Turning off the wand, you rub his frenulum again, eliciting nothing more than an exhausted whimper. You take the head of his cock in your mouth, very gently, you know he’s painfully sensitive now. Cal gives another quiet sob as you run your tongue along him. You come back up. He’s still shaking. There’s cum on his shirt, you toss the wand to the floor. You’ll clean it later.  Calvin still hasn’t opened his eyes.

“Here baby,” you whisper in his ear, he opens his eyes, still teary. And you help him out of his shirt.

You stand, and step to the bathroom to wash your hands. When you come back, Cal’s sitting up, covers pulled to his chest. Waiting for you.

You sit down on the bed with him,

“Are you okay?” You whisper, taking his hand.

“Mhm,” His voice is rough.

“Do you want a shower, baby? Some food?” You ask, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “We have leftover taco stuff from last night.”

Cal nods, softly. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, baby. All of it.” He smiles at that comment, and you stand back up.

“You’re probably cold aren’t you?” It was mid winter, and here he was, completely spent, laying under the flat sheet of the bed.

Another nod, “Very.”

You walk to the dresser again, and pull out some boxers and sweatpants for him, as well as some pyjama pants for yourself. Then to the closet, getting two of Calvin’s shirts. One for him and one for you.

He goes to stand up, and teeters a little bit.

“Easy,” you whisper, holding his arm.

You slip on your pyjama pants and take off your bra, opting for one of Cal’s shirts to cover your chest instead. Calvin gets his clothes on relatively easy, and you walk down the hallway to the kitchen. He follows you, wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder as you open the refrigerator. Dishing up his food, you put it in the microwave, then you jump up to sit on the counter. You pull Cal into a hug. He rests his head on your chest and you rest yours on his shoulder. The microwave beeps, and Calvin looks up.

“Come on babe,” You say, grabbing his plate, a fork and a bottle of water. “I want you to drink this whole bottle okay?”

“Alright, babe.”

You get him settled into bed with his food. Close out the porn on his computer, replacing it with something more wholesome.. American Dad.

“Drink some water, Cal.” You tell him, picking up the clothes all over the floor, making sure they get in the hamper. You clean off the vibrator from earlier, then take his plate to the kitchen and clean up there. You brush your teeth and bring out two of Cal’s melatonin pills, the doctor said they’d help with the insomnia.

You plop the pills into his hand and remind him to finish his water, before switching off the bedroom light. You lay with him in the light of his laptop, watching him giggle at the shows raunchy little jokes, sipping on his water. Oh, how you loved him. You hope he knows how much you love him. You’d do anything for him, and you knew he’d do the same. The melatonin is kicking in and he looks sleepier with every passing moment. His episode ends and he closes his laptop, setting it on his nightstand, like a proud child he smiles, showing you his empty water bottle. He drank it all like you asked.

“I love you Cal, baby I hope you know that.”  You whisper to him in the darkness.

“I love you too, (Y/N). I would die without you, baby I would forget how to breathe. You take care of me when I’m unable to take care of myself. Which is most of the time. Look at me, (Y/N), I’m a mess, you take care of me. I will always appreciate that. And someday, when I’m out of this state I’m in, I’ll repay you. Thank you for always being here for me, (Y/N). I love you.”

Calvin kisses your lips and you pull him into your arms. He lays his head on your chest.

“I’d do anything for you,” you whisper. “I love you too, Cal.”

You lay there, thinking softly to yourself, until his body goes limp and you know he’s asleep. Only then, do you let yourself fall asleep, holding Cal close to you. Just so he knows you’ll never let him go. 

Top 10 British Sitcoms! (In my personal opinion)

1) Father Ted (1995 - 1998)

What’s funnier than a bunch of bizarre priests and their clumsy housekeeper who loves tea? Well, barely anything. Hence why this is my number one.

Father Ted is one of those comedy shows that always seems to be on a channel somewhere, and no matter the episode, I’ll end up roaring with laughter. I adore this show on a magical level, and it’s definitely hard to top.

2) Blackadder (1983 - 1989)

Rowan Atkinson at his finest. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Mr Bean, but Blackadder is just spectacular. Fast paced, sarcastic and hilarious, it’s another show that I can always just pick up and burst out laughing at. One of the most interest aspects of the show though is the different era per series, however keeping the same amazing cast. Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie and Tony Robinson’s characters also having a special place in my heart due to the antics and hilarity. 

3) Fawlty Towers (1975 - 1979)

The quintessential British comedy sitcom. I don’t want to say too much about this, because if you have never seen it, shame on you.

4) Black Books (2000 - 2004)

Quite simply one of the greatest, but shortest, sitcoms ever created. Anyone who has actually seen this show has regarded it as one of their favourites of all time for good reason. Black Books follows the character of Bernard Black, the owner of a shoddy and sticky bookshop, and lacks all regard or care for people. The majority of the comedy is derived from Bernard’s two ‘friends’ who attempt to make his lifestyle more socially acceptable, much to his despair. I truly recommend checking out this show, but be prepared to be annoyed that there isn’t more!  

5) Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em (1973 - 1978)

Probably one of the favourite comedy shows I watch with my Grandfather. Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em follows the character of Frank, a childish, often moronic and insanely clumsy individual who only wants best for his family, although all he does is infuriate and anger people. A show with amazing catchphrases and hilarious situations, I simply adore this show.

6) Dads Army (1968 - 1977)

An amazing comedy focused on the Home Guard during the Second World War, the Home Guard were the volunteer army of those deemed ineligible for military service, usually due to age. The majority of the comedy derives from the pure uselessness of the group, and their lack of contribution to the war effort. The humour is often subtle and hilarious, I’d recommend it to anyone, I love it.

7) Porridge (1974 - 1977)

Ronnie Barker was one of the penultimate lords of comedy, that is all.

Porridge follows the goings on in the prison HMP Slade, following the character of Fletcher and his cellmate, an inmate serving his first sentence who Fletcher takes under his wing. The characters are strong and well written, as well as having amazing comedic timing and execution. The majority of the comedy comes from the interactions between the prisoners, as well as their relationships to the guards. It’s a show with a lot of heart and a lot of fun. 

8) Red Dwarf (1988 - ?)

Sci-Fi and sitcom, a bizarre genre hybrid that was an amazing gamble, but alas paid off incredibly well for Red Dwarf. The show follows the interesting cast of characters aboard the ‘Red Dwarf’ ship, all of whom are odd and interesting in their own ways. Unfortunately, I would not do the show justice if I were to attempt to describe the plot, so I shall urge you to check it out yourself. Trust me when I say this is an amazing show though.

9) Only Fools And Horses (1981 - 2003)

One of the longest running and most popular sitcoms in Britain, for good reason might I add. The show primarily follows the family of Del-Boy, Rodney and their Granddad (who is later replaced by Uncle Albert due to the unfortunate passing of the actor). The show is set in Peckham, a district in the south east of London, known for it’s working class citizens, the comedy mainly deriving from the vast array of occurring characters, as well as Del-Boy’s constant attempts of quick-rich schemes, with his main catchphrase being, “this time next year, we’ll be millionaires”. The show is a lot of fun, and the characters are all well written and performed and it has truly earned its cemented place as being one of the best in British history. 

10) Outnumbered (2007 - 2014)

Literally the most hilarious ‘family’ in Britain. Holy crap, I adore this show. The show is centred around a middle-class family who live in West London, the parents of whom, are ‘outnumbered’ by their 3 children. Jake, the typical teen, Ben, the hyperactive and strange child, and Karen, the oddly sarcastic child with a lot of questions, and a lot of answers. 
In essence, it’s a great show with hilarious situations, Karen and Ben being the funniest and most interesting parts of the show in all honesty. Even though it’s number 10 in my list, it’s amazing and I think everyone should attempt to watch this show.

And that comes to the end of my list, have I missed anything? What are your top 10 British Sitcoms?

5

30 Day Anime Challenge

Day 4- Favorite Female Anime Character

Riza Hawkeye!! (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Compared to the favorite male character choice, this one was a piece of cake. Riza is hands down my favorite because she is a badass woman who doesn’t need no man, but sticks beside her idiot colonel because he’s her idiot colonel dammit  I will go down with this ship.

anonymous asked:

what do you make of alec's soldier pose? Like when maryse unexpectedly came back to the institute or when he apologised to magnus or in 2x06 when jace walked in? =)

You know, I feel like it’s just something Alec falls back into when he’s uncomfortable or things are a bit tense, almost out of habit. My dad was military and because it’s just how you stand when you’re “at ease”, it’s sort of something that he’s comfortable with? even though to civilians it may be a more unusual way of standing. so i can see Alec falling back on it when he’s feeling any tension in the air or if he’s feeling a little nervous for the same reasons, like it’s something he might just be used to especially when faced with someone in a position of authority (like his mother or the inquisitor.)