family expectations / sirius black
requested. i have finally posted something and it’s probably crap. i apologize if it is x
Your elbows were propped on the table, fingers pressed against your temple as your right leg bounced up and down, brows furrowed in concentration. You kept mumbling to yourself ingredients to a potion, your concentration drifting away every time laughter erupted from a group of what seemed to be second years sitting in a corner.
You were at the library trying to revise for your upcoming N.E.W.T. exam in Potions and it was going well till those disruptive kids appeared.
“Powdered root of Asphodel, Wormwood, Valerian Spri-”
“Thats bloody hilarious!”
Your hands clenched into tight fists, knuckles turning white as you slammed them down on the table and abruptly stood up to make your way over to the group. If Madam Pince wasn’t going to resolve this issue then you were.
All you wanted was peace and quiet but it appeared that no matter where you went to revise, distractions always followed you.
“Whoa! Who are you going to kill?”
Speaking of distractions.
“I’m not going to kill anyone.” You huffed.
“Really? Because your eyes scream murder.” He commented.
You stared at the luxuriant ebony-haired boy, another huff escaping your lips as you ignored his comment. “What are you doing here?” You questioned.
“What? Am I not the type to be found at a library, finding a solid good book to read?”
“You and reading don’t really go hand in hand.” The tone of your voice hinted irritation.
“Ouch.” He feigned, placing a hand over his chest. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m fine.” You lied, your eyes flickering over to the group that erupted into another fit of laughter, your hands clenching against your sides.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at you, silence consuming him for a moment as he didn’t want to press any buttons that would cause you to become more irritated than what you already are, so he studied the look on your face in hopes to find evidence about what’s bugging you. The dark bags under your eyes gave away how restless you’ve been, the pale color that covered your usually rosy lips hinted insufficient fluid consumption, and the sight of your unkempt hair showed that you’ve been far too distracted with something that you were neglecting your appearance. And he knew the reason why had to be that you’ve been relentlessly revising for the exams that were quickly approaching.
“Y/N, baby. I think you should take a break.” He said softly, reaching for one of your hands.
You shook your head, biting at your bottom lip. “No. I can’t rest until I take the exam, Sirius.”
“C'mon you’ve been revising all week. A little break won’t hurt, love. We can sneak out and go out to eat or do whatever you want. It’ll be fun.” He tried to persuade but you shook your head again. “Listen Sirius, I’m fine and just need to study, alright? Please just leave me alone. That’s what I want. Peace and quiet with no distractions.” You explained.
“No buts, Sirius. You don’t understand. I need to study and you’re not helping. You’ll only be distracting me so please go.” You requested as the edges of your lips twitched into a frown, your eyes closing when he leaned forward to place a lingering kiss on your forehead.
“If that’s what you really want.” He mumbled against your skin. “I’m here for you, you know that right?” His hands squeezed yours, his soften eyes fixed on you.
You nodded but stayed silent, a sigh escaping your lips once you watched him eventually walk away from you. You were angry at yourself for responding to him that way, but you knew that revising was far more important at the moment, especially since having received that Howler not too long ago.
“Y/F/N, your father and I have heard a rumor that you blew up your cauldron in class recently. That indicates that you have made a mistake and such things are not tolerated in this household. You should be ashamed! You’re the Head Girl and a top student! You come from a lineage of Ravenclaws and to make such an empty-headed mistake brings dishonor to this family. It will be in your best interest to maintain top marks in your N.E.W.T.s. or else.”
Your mothers words constantly replayed itself in your head and you knew that if anyone would’ve overheard the Howler, they would have laughed at how your mother was plainly overreacting and you would’ve agreed with them. She was overreacting but she never played around when it came to your academics. That’s why you’ve been pushing yourself past your limit these days, you had to achieve top marks. You feared that wouldn’t be the case with your Potions class though. You had always struggled a bit with the class, not being a natural potion maker like one of your friends from Gryffindor. You tend to mix up the ingredients and never actually had the patience to brew the thing.
You had came to a decision the next day that you were going to skip your classes the entire day, spending your time and attention on revising and memorizing the potions you needed to know instead. It was your absence that caused Sirius to worry even more. That following morning after having found you in the library, he didn’t see you in the Great Hall where you usually sat with your friends and throughout the day you never showed up at your usual meet up spots nor in the classes the two of you shared together. He was worried for you and began to ask around if anyone knew your whereabouts but no one could give him an accurate answer because they were just as clueless.
“B-Bowtruckle.” You managed to spit out, the Fat Lady eyeing you for a moment before opening up the entrance to the Gryffindor’s Common Room. You managed to walk through the entrance without falling, the grasp you had on the bottle of Firewhisky tightening. “Sirius?” You slurred, eyebrows knitting together as you tried to get a good look of the boy who was slumped in one of the couches.
Sirius head swiftly turned to look at you, his eyes widening as he practically flew off the couch and was by your side in seconds. “Have you been drinking?” He questioned, his voice trailing off when he caught site of the bottle held tightly in one of your hands.
“No.” You lied.
“I can see the bottle, Y/N/N.”
“What bottle?” You grinned cheekily at him, moving your hand behind your back.
“Give it to me.”
He tried to reach behind your back but you quickly moved, stumbling a bit in the process. “Don’t be stubborn and give me the bottle. I can practically smell the alcohol on you.” He pointed out, grabbing a tight hold of you as his free hand reached for the bottle once more, managing to be successful this time.
“Boo! You’re no fun.” You stuck your tongue at him, crossing your arms against your chest in defiance as you refused to let him drag you to the couch.
“Why are you drinking, love? Especially at this time of night?” He asked.
“Well, why are you up so late?” You questioned.
“Because I was hoping you’d show up with an explanation to why you’ve disappeared all day without telling me or anyone in fact.” He answered.
The only thing your mind was able to grasp though was the Howler your mother had sent, your lips beginning to tremble as your eyes started watering.“I’m so dumb!” You cried, falling to the floor. Sirius couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh, the small smile etched on his lips soon disappearing when he noticed the tears that started to stream down your cheeks. “Ssh baby, don’t cry. You’re not dumb.” He assured, dropping the bottle before sitting down beside you and trying to wipe the tears but you gently swatted his hand away.
Your body was sprawled across the floor, eyes lazily staring up at the common room ceiling, “Yes I am!” You declared. “I’m terrible at potions! I blew up t-that cauldron last week, remember?” Your words were slurred but still understandable.
“Yes, but that doesn’t make you dumb.” He tried to reason.
“Yes it does!” You hiccuped, your arms flailing around as you tried to use proper hand gestures. “It’s a mistake! I made a mistake and in my family that i-isn’t acceptable! I’m in Ravenclaw we’re s-supposed to be the smart ones and I’m terrible at Potions so I’m going to fail my exam and my family will d-disown me and i’ll be homeless and eat sewer rats for the rest of my life because I won’t find a job! That’s why i’ve been studying for that final all day. And oh merlin! I was so rude to you yesterday at the library. I’m such a terrible person! All you wanted to do was help and I’m so sorry! I needed to be alone and to study in peace. I don’t want to be a disappointment.”
Sirius stared at you with wide eyes, not being able to stop himself from smiling at the way you overdramatized part of your reasons. It was clear to him now on why you didn’t show up to class today. You were overly stressed about the exams that were quickly approaching.
“Stop it! You’re laughing at me.” You accused, covering your face with your hands. “I came here to find and talk to you and apologize for being such a mean girlfriend, but you’re laughing at me.”
“I’m not laughing at you, love. I swear. And you’re not some terrible girlfriend. You’re just stressed and I think you’re overreacting a tad bit.”
“No I’m not!”
“Yes you are and do you know why?” He questioned.
“Why?” You whispered, peeping through your fingers so you could look at him.
“Because you’re the smartest girl I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. And don’t say you’re not because you are.” He went on. “So what if you blew up some cauldrons? Peter has blown up twice as many I bet. And if your family is going to disown you because of that then screw them. And that’s coming from the original family disappointment here.” He laughed. “You’re not perfect, Y/N, no one is. So it’s okay if you struggle with a class, trust me. That doesn’t make you any less intelligent. I also don’t think that just because you’re not able to brew up a potion properly it will land you on the streets and cause you to eat sewer rats. Besides, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
You sat up swiftly, elbows propping up on the floor as you felt the blood rushing to your head, causing your vision to blur a bit. “Do you mean that?” You whispered, tears stinging the corners of your eyes.
“Every word.” He smiled. “You’re going to do just fine. And besides, if you do end up living in the streets and eating rats then I know the perfect spell that’ll make it taste better.”
You let out out a laugh, your lips curving up into a smile. “Oh Sirius Black! I love you so much!” You exclaimed, throwing yourself on top of him, your arms wrapping around him as the two of you fell back.
“I love you too, princess. Just remember to take it easy and find some time to give yourself a break.” He murmured, his voice softly spoken as he massaged deep circles onto your back. “And don’t try to live up to some ridiculously high expectations. Like i’ve mentioned, It’s not worth it and it doesn’t make you any less intelligent.”
“What would I do without you?” You mused into his chest, the both of you nonverbally deciding to stay on the common room floor for the rest of the night.
“Dunno, love. Maybe eat sewer rats?”