aris tho :)))

Frank Oceans Blonde album

Aries: Pretty Sweet
Taurus: Skyline to, Close to You
Gemini: Futura Free
Cancer: Ivy, Godspeed
Leo: Nikes
Virgo: Good Guy
Libra: Ivy
Scorpio: Self Control, Nights
Sagittarius: Solo
Capricorn: Siegfried, Good Guy
Aquarius: Pink + White, Nights
Pisces: White Ferrari

girls like u

“Give me your forever, or at least just for a while” : Cancer, Libra
“Give me never ending, or at least give me a mile” : Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio
“Give me happiness, or at least give me a smile” : Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius
“Give me serenity, or at least just peace of mind” : Capricorn, Aquarius
“Give me closure, or at least a phone call” : Leo, Pisces

The signs as things my mom said
  • Aries:Well he's probably sucking on her titty
  • Taurus:Hey lemme show you this picture of this guy with genital worts
  • Gemini:When I had my first kiss I threw up afterwards and thought I was a lesbian
  • Cancer:I wanted to name you after this stripper name I heard of
  • Leo:They call me Lucy, Lucy Loose *winks*
  • Virgo:Damn they're like honey badger they don't give a fuck
  • Sagittarius:I swear to god Nana, I'm gonna kick this girl's ass
  • Capricorn:I remember I had to watch about Ronald Reagan getting shot in school and I didn't give a shit
  • Aquarius:Did I ever tell you the story of when I got arrested on your sister's birthday?
  • Pisces:Oh my god this lady came in and I had to pull this old black soap out of her vagina
the ultimate tagalog false friend

so in spanish, derecha means “right (direction)”

but in tagalog, deretso means “straight ahead”


now imagine a spanish person inviting a filipino person to his house, and he gives him directions through the phone. the filipino would never arrive because he did not turn right



                it wasn’t like this was what he had E X P E C T E D, he was supposed to take her home &&. just keep her there till he FIGURED out how to make her be quiet on what she saw BUT days had turned into weeks &&. weeks into months &&. now here he was, walking BEHIND her. hands wrapping around her small PETITE waist ‘ what you doing ? ? ‘ 


I gotchu covered anon

my relatives are gone which means I get my room back :’)