THE MOST IMPORTANT THING PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE CAPTAIN SWAN "RAPE CULTURE" ARGUEMENT:
If you would be uncomfortable with the things Hook says to Emma or does in her presence, then that is 110% fine.
If you would feel sexually harassed by those things, that is 110% fine.
If you would feel like someone was stalking you because of the things Hook does regarding Emma, that is 110% fine.
If you would feel in danger of being raped by him if you were in Emma’s position because of the things he does/says to her, that is 110% fine.
BUT the fact of the matter is, EMMA clearly does not feel that way.
You might feel uncomfortable, but she doesn’t.
You might feel sexually harassed, but she doesn’t.
You might feel like someone was stalking you, but she doesn’t.
You might feel in danger of being raped, but she doesn’t.
YOUR feelings on the matter, or how you would feel in her position, aren’t relevant to someone else’s fictional relationship.
The creators of, writers of and the actress who plays Emma Swan have all made it 100% clear that the only portion of her that feels uncomfortable around Hook is the part of her that is unwilling to admit her attraction to/feelings for him.
Emma doesn’t ever tell him to stop the flirting or the innuendos because they make her uncomfortable.
Emma doesn’t ever tell him to leave her alone because he is sexually harassing her, or stalking her or because she feels like he might rape her.
If I was in Emma’s position, I would would not feel uncomfortable, sexually harassed, stalked or in danger at all. I like people who are flirty, who make me feel attractive, who make me laugh/smile, who make me feel wanted and who would go to the ends of the earth for me. The way Hook goes about those things is attractive to me.
Obviously, most people are into someone who does the above listed things for them, but it is completely okay if the way he goes about things is not attractive to you.
Some people find overt sexuality attractive. Some people don’t. It is gross and skeevy to some people. That is fine. But there is nothing wrong with the people who find it attractive. Emma Swan is obviously one of those people.
Something cannot be harassment or stalking if it is welcome and even invited by the receiving party. Literally, by definition, nothing he does qualifies because Emma actively wants him around and is happier in his presence. She is actually shown to be upset and annoyed when he doesn’t flirt back with her (Granny’s diner, magic-ing the hot cocoa and his hook, giggling like a school girl). She initiates both of their kisses. Sure, he blatantly asked for the first one. But when Snow asked her “why” she kissed him, she said it was because “[she] was feeling good”, not intimidated, not because he asked her to kiss him, not because she was afraid he would be angry or hurt her if she didn’t. Because she was feeling “good”. She is also seen smiling and flirting before she kisses him, in case her own verbalization of her feelings weren’t enough.
Harassment (/həˈræsmənt/ or /ˈhærəsmənt/) covers a wide range of behaviours of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behaviour intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive. In the legal sense, it is intentional behaviour which is found threatening or disturbing. Sexual harassment refers to persistent and unwanted sexual advances. – Emma does not find Hook’s behavior offensive in nature. He is not intending to disturb or upset her, and it doesn’t (except when she can’t think of what to say back without expressing her own attraction, so she just walks away). She also does not find it threatening. It has been made clear that the only part of this man she finds threatening, is her own attraction to him.
Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them.– Again, Hook’s attention toward Emma isn’t unwanted. It might be a bit obsessive, but she certainly doesn’t tell him to leave her alone. She actively encourages the only thing that could be considered obsessive (When he tells her at the town line he will think of her literally every single day, she smiles at him – while crying because she’s leaving & won’t remember him and the others – and says “good”). She certainly doesn’t consider him to be harassing her and she definitely isn’t intimidated by him (maybe by the depth of his feelings for her, but how is that a bad thing?) The only time he follows and monitors her is when she invites him to dinner with her family and he declines, for her own safety. So he decides to watch over them at the diner so they can have a peaceful diner while he keeps an eye out for the evil witch who’s trying to destroy her family and the town.
So, to sum this up, it is completely okay if you would feel afraid or uncomfortable in Emma’s position. But it has been made abundantly clear that she doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Therefore, your opinion on her fictional relationship is not valid. You cannot decide for someone else how they should feel about people and you cannot tell them their feelings and opinions are wrong. People are allowed to be attracted to whatever they want. For Emma, that is Killian. You do not get to decide how this fictional character of someone else’s creation feels. You do not get to make decisions for her. You do not get to decide that a relationship where she is respected, adored and clearly in charge is unhealthy. You do not get to decide that a man who followed her back into a unknown time when he didn’t have to, actively encourages her in everything she does and gave up his home/the last thing he really had as a reminder of the only other two people he loved is bad for her and puts her in danger. You are literally displaying the antithesis of feminism by trying to take away this woman’s decision and tell her that the way she feels is wrong and that she should listen to you about how she should feel.