argh been at this for too long

flairblood  asked:

It may be super late when I decide to post this. I thoroughly apologize for that. I have fumbled around trying to find the right words to say without sounding too awkward. Nonetheless, your art is such a unique treasure and I am always astonished by the pieces and characters you make. I have been a fan of your art for a long time and have simply been too nervous to say it. I would love to make fan art for you in the future. I truly hope you feel happy and content during your birthday.

Thank you so much for your kind words! Every year I tend to feel a bit downcast during my birthday, but then I get messages like this and feel so loved (weird thing to say?) and remembered. It’s bewildering that there are people on the other side of the world that seem to be interested in what I do and the things I draw, some even set aside a moment from their day to say something nice. That’s pretty surreal if you ask me. I’m humbled and thankful for all the support that I get ;v;

You’re not alone with your nervousness, I often (most of the time really) feel extremely awkward when talking to people because I fear that I’m going to sound weird, overly personal and accidentally reveal way too much information that no one asked for. Try not to worry about it too much, I absolutely know the feeling and appreciate it a ton when people risk sounding a little awkward and talk to me genuinely.

Bidders Cheating on You - KBTBB Headcanon

Requeted by: @itsmeecupcakelove

“Heyy can you please dooo a story about the kbtbb cheated on MC?and do a good ending? Eisuke and soryu and baba”

I hope you enjoy it sweetheart!! I’ll answer the others requests soon! Let me know what you think, love you all xoxo ~Gabi

You haven’t seen him much lately, but when you do, he treats you as cold as the first time you meet and always have an excuse to avoid you. After your double sift was over, you headed to the penthouse to rest and maybe try to spice your relationship. The penthouse lounge was awkwardly silent, not even Baba was there or Mamoru taking a nap on the sofa. A strange feeling started to overwhelm you. You started to sweat cold, your throat was burning and your stomach was churning. You didn’t know why that feeling suddenly hit you. Reluctantly, you started walking upstairs. You went straight to the room where you and Eisuke shared. When your hand touched the doorknob, you understood your bad feeling. ‘Eisuke, you were wonderful as always!’ 'I know that, hope we can meet again.’ 'Yeah! If you break up with that filthy maid we could do it all the time.’ 'Quit that for now. Now how about put this pretty mouth of your in a good use?’ You lose your ground after hearing that. Your heart ached and you couldn’t believe it. You entered the room and saw him, on the bed you both shared every night, kissing one of his groupies. They hadn’t noticed you yet. You wanted to cry, scream, smash things, curse them and break down, but you couldn’t. You needed to be strong and better than them.

“Working as hard as I’m, Eisuke?” You said with the coldest tone you could do. He quickly broke the kiss and stared at you with widened eyes. “Nothing to say, uh? I expected that. I’ll provide my resignation letter soon, excuse me.” You said taking the ring he gave you off and placing it on the nearest coffee table. You turned and prepared yourself to leave.

“(Y/N)!” You heard him calling. You looked over your shoulder and saw him desperately putting his pants on.

“Bare you from more shame. You have no honor to say my name.” And with that you left the room.

“Leave her, Eisuke. She’s not as worth it as I’m.” You heard the woman’s voice behind you.

“Shut up! Get the fuck out of here! NOW!” He barked. “(Y/N)! Wait!” You tightened your pace and left the penthouse.

A few days later…
You sent your resignation letter to Mr. Kenzaki and started packing. Lately you’ve been trying to avoid any kind of contact with Eisuke. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t shocked, broken and that you could only fall asleep in tears. You tried your best not to show your sadness so no one would ask why you were sad, but no matter how hard you tried there was no use. You were finishing the last box when you heard a knock at your door. It could be Baba or Mamoru trying to cheer you up again, so you didn’t think twice before opening the door. But when you did you felt a cold in your spine. All you could do was stare at Eisuke standing in front of you. Before you could react or understand what was going on, he wrapped his arms around you. God you missed his touch so much, but it felt… Strange. After all that happened.

“(Y/N)… I missed you.” His confident and strong voice faded away. It sounded weak and sad, you couldn’t tell if it was him anymore.

“Mr. Ichinomiya I’m busy. Now please, I need to finish packing.” He tighten his hug and walked inside your apartment. You didn’t stumble or fall because your were in his arms. He closed the door with his feet. “Mr. Ichi-”

“Eisuke… It’s Eisuke.” He whispered in your ear. He let you go his eyes stared deeply into yours. “I know that an apology won’t fix anything, so please, let me show you how much I regret it, please.”

“Mr. Ichi-… I…” You were speechless. Deep inside your heart you missed him, you wanted him, but you still had an open wound in your chest. He stranded in front of you in his most vulnerable state as he held your cheeks.

“What have I done to you…?” It sounded more like a whisper to himself. “You look sad and broken. My only wish and duty was to always keep a bright smile on your face. I was an asshole and I was too blind to see the treasure I had in my hands. (Y/N), reconsider please. I want you to stay beside me. Forever. I can’t find a reason to what I’ve done. I can’t be something without you. I can’t… I… Please.” He let tear after tear drop from his eyes. You were shocked. You’ve never seen or heard about Eisuke crying or begging like that to anyone. You knew it was his heart speaking to you. “(Y/N)…” More tears started tracing his cheeks.

At that moment you knew he was being sincere, that he really regret it. And if you wanted to accept or not, you still had feelings for him. You closed the distance between you and wrapped your small arms around his big figure.

“It’s ok now, I’m here for you… Eisuke.” He hugged you back, promising to never let you go again.

It’s been an hour since you finished your sift and Soryu wasn’t there, waiting for you to come home like he always do. You you thought he had serious business to deal with. But your boyfriend was a mobster, you couldn’t help but worry about him. Within one hour a lot could’ve happened, he could get arrested, shot, betrayed. Or worst, what if he was dead? It was a possibility you couldn’t ignore, you felt nauseous just to think about it. You couldn’t hold back anymore, you put your shoes on and headed straight to his office as fast as you could. The atmosphere was the same as usual, men walking around and welcoming you to the building. You walked to Soryu’s office.

“Princess! What are you doing alone here?” You heard a familiar voice behind you. You turned around to see Inui.

“Inui, Soryu didn’t come home. I was worried and came to check if he’s doing ok.”

“Oh! Princess, he’s fi-” A sharp and cold voice cut Inui.

“No need for that. We are over (Y/N).” You felt nauseous again and a cold ran down through your spine. You turned around again, but you regret it. Soryu was standing in front of you with his arm wrapped around the waist of a foreign women and he looked at you with the same cold gaze he looked at you the night you first met at the auction. The woman looked amused with the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes. She placed a hand in his chest.

“He’s mine now.” You were confused. Everything was happening so fast! A day before you were both laughing and kissing and then you were being humiliated. You looked at Inui asking for help, but he was as shocked and confused as you. You couldn’t stay there any longer. You ran away with tears tracing down your face. Inui called for you, but Soryu threatened him if he moved to go after you, breaking your heart even more. In a few minutes you were back to your staff dorm apartment, it was the only place you had left to go. You felt broken, alone, ashamed, you threw yourself on the bed hoping to cry until you fall asleep.


You weren’t healed yet. Ota and Baba tried to cheer you up, but unfortunately nothing was enough. You still loved Soryu, how can you take the person you loved the most out of your heart that easily and in such a short period of time? You were preparing yourself to sleep when you heard a knock at your door. 'It might be Baba wanting to talk or check on me again.’ You thought. You opened your door and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Soryu standing there. You were frozen and could only stare at him.

“Can I come in?” You still couldn’t believe your eyes. Only a week ago he had another girl around. You looked up and down at him and a red stain caught your attention.

“Soryu! You’re hurt! Oh my… Come in, I’ll get the kit.” He stepped in.

“It’s nothing. I just came to ex-”

“Of course it’s not nothing! Sit there, I’ll be right back.” He sat on the chair you pointed and you quickly found the supplies to take care of him. He flinched when you cleaned his wound. “What happened to you?”

“(Y/N)…” He grabbed your wrist and you stopped in your track with his touch and looked up. His gaze was calm, warm and loving like it was when you were dating. “I’m sorry. I’ve never cheated on you.” WHAT? He can’t be more confusing! “It was a plan. She was a mob boss of one of our rivals and wanted to take the Ice Dragon’s power. I suggested to link the groups, but I wanted to take her down. And I couldn’t put you in the battlefield. I couldn’t bare to lose you, if that happened I’d have never forgiven myself. As soon as she found out the plan… Well, she did this.” He pointed to his cut. “But it was too late for her. I’m sorry I had to do that, but I love you too much and couldn’t put you in danger.” Before you knew it, tears dropped from your eyes. He placed his large hand in your cheek, ripping the tears off your face. “Please accept me back. I love you, (Y/N).” You nodded and kissed him. God, you were craving for his kisses. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. “Argh! Careful there.”

“Sorry!” You smiled at him and he chuckled. “I love you too, Soryu.”

'Business might take a little longer, my princess. My partner got injured. I love you my lady. ~MB’

That was the last thing he text you, the last thing you’ve heard of him within weeks. You call and he never pick up, your messages seems to never arrive. Is he dead? Did he got arrested? You couldn’t answer any of the questions that were flowing through your mind. The bed has been empty for so long, so cold to sleep. You tried to sleep, but you couldn’t, you even counted ships to call your dreamland. You had bags under your eyes, you were tired, worried and sad. You were lying on your bed and it was 3am when you received a call from Mamoru.

“Mamoru? Why are you-”

“I can’t take it anymore, I tried. I tried to not get involved, but now it’s too much.” His voice sounded sad, but angry at the same time.

“Mamoru, calm down! What happened?”

“Meet me at the hotel lobby. Now.” He hang up.

Millions of thoughts started to flow in your mind. It could be a problem with the auctions, Baba could be into trouble. You knew Mamoru wasn’t like that, he needed your help. You quickly got up, dressed into casual clothes and went where he asked to meet you. He looked nervous, walking around, puffing his cigar. Once he noticed you, he rushed toward you and you saw him holding a paste.

“I’m sorry, kid. But if I don’t do this, he’ll keep hurtin’ ya.” He handed you the paste that had called your attention. He looked concerned. You were afraid of what was inside that paste, but you reluctantly grabbed it and when you opened it your eyes filled with tears. Photos and more photos of Baba and another women in a beach, restaurant, parks… Always sharing kisses, hugs and touching their bodies. You let it fall from your hands and you broke down. Tears started falling nonstop. This is what he have been doing? You were begging for it to be a prank, but you knew it wasn’t. You loved Baba more than yourself, always tried to be the best girlfriend so why did he do this to you? You felt Mamoru wrapping his arms around you, ruffing your hair. “Sorry I needed to do this kid. I-”

“Since when?” You created courage to ask.

“Three weeks.” You tried recomposed yourself and nodded. “It’s fine, you’ve shown me the truth.” You stayed in his arms a little longer until someone forced you apart.

“Mamoru, you can hug my princess like that.” Mamoru opened his mouth to talk, but you talked first.

“I’m not your princess, you jerk!” Baba turned to you surprised at your reaction. “As I could see your work was worth it, right?” You pointed to the photos and his eyes widened. He looked back to you, his hands tried to reach you but you backed off. “Is there something you want to say? Not even 'oh it’s not how it looks like, (Y/N)!’ I thought you stopped playing the womanizer route?” He stayed there speechless. You turned around and walked away from him.

He didn’t go after you, Mamoru did. He was the one that supported you in that hard time, he tried to keep you away from Baba, but as an expert thief he knew where you were hiding and in the middle of the night he broken into your new apartment. He put his hand in your mouth, your heart stopped and you woke up in a jump. Your eyes met Baba, he put his index finger on his lips and slowly took his hand away from you. You thought you were still dreaming.

“Hey princess…” You said nothing, you still loved him, but no way he came back after you. “I know what you’re thinking. I came here to say that I still love you, I know what I did was unforgivable, but my princess I… Still love you and if you feels the same… Please come with me again. If you don’t I promise that I’ll disappear from your life forever.” He smiled sadly at you. You knew he was a master to hide his feelings, but his sad eyes said everything. He didn’t want to let you go, but didn’t want to hurt you even more either.


“Yes or no, my lady. I’d make you mine forever if you accept me back. I know I don’t deserve it, but you’re the only woman that really loved me and I can’t understand why I brought shame to you. I…” He looked down and finally broke down. Tears started to get your blankets wet. Even after all you’ve been through, seeing him cry gutted you so much, as if someone had craved a knife into your heart. Your tiny hand lifted his chin and you coupled his cheek, ripping off his tears. You smiled at him and hugged him tightly.

“I know the true you, Baba. I know the enormous heart you have. I love you too. We can work this out, like a real couple.” He wrapped his arms around you and cried even harder.

“I won’t let you go anymore. Never. I love you so much, (Y/N).”

anonymous asked:

I read the Sole gets Amnesia react, and it absolutely crushed my heart with feels. Could I request a react of how the companions react when Sole's memory suddenly returns?

Here is the first part, would recommend reading that one first as this one is a follow up. Sorry for the long reply on this one Nonnie, I hope you Enjoy <3


“Come on Sole…” Cait muttered at Sole, who was currently sat on the floor, sobbing into their hands trying to remember anything from before the accident- it had, after all, been four weeks since they woke up.

Cait sat cross legged opposite Sole, wanting to reach out a hand and touch them, but not wanting to set them off like she did the last time she touched them (It was a couple of weeks after Sole woken up, and upon being lightly touched on the shoulder, Cait had ended up pinned down to the floor with a knife being held to Sole’s throat).

In all honesty, Cait’s heart broke for Sole the second they woke up with no memories. It was easy for Cait to reintroduce herself to Sole (as a nicer, better person), but for Sole? No memory of the life they lead before the bombs dropped; no memories of their dead spouse; or their missing son; or the help they provided for the minutemen or the brotherhood or the railroad; the three months in the Commonwealth leading up to Sole meeting her.

The Brotherhood doctor- Cade- came rushing into the room that Sole had been assigned and sent Cait on her way, telling her that Sole needed time alone. No one aboard the Prydwen had been expecting what would come next.

Since Sole had been moved into their own private room, Cade had been making regular check-ups on Sole throughout the night, and on his midnight check, he found that Sole wasn’t in their bed- or in the room. Cade (followed by a frantic Cait) ran to tell Elder Maxson, who found out from one of the night duty Knights that Sole had left on a vertibird. Maxson dismissed the Knight (poor sod, how was he to have known), and contacted the Vertibird Lancer that had taken Sole wherever they told him to go.

It took two days to relocate Sole- the Lancer told Maxson that he had taken the vertibird and docked at Cambridge Police Station, and then Sole had ran straight through the old polie station, completely dropping off the face of the earth.

That was until they were found by a patrol team unconscious by the river side. The Knight- who feared the worst- threw down a vertibird signal grenade, and helped Sole on board once it landed. They headed straight for the Prydwen, greeting Cade, Elder Maxson and Cait (among a few others) as soon as they docked.

Once Sole was in the infirmary (with Cate once again waiting outside- she swears that if they weren’t helping Sole she’d have put a bullet in his head), Cade injected them with a new serum that he’d been developing- one that tries to undo memory loss. With the serum running through Sole’s blood, they could only sit and wait and hope it would work.

It took three days before Sole woke.

They remembered everything- their pre-war life, the bombs, Shuan, Cait- from before the accident with the Super Mutants, but could remember nothing during the six week ‘recovery’. Cait was happy with that- she’d rather have the old Sole back than the one that couldn’t even remember her name.


The rock that caused Sole’s amnesia was still stained red from Sole’s blood. They’d tried so hard to remove the stain- abraxo cleaner, rat poison mixed with water, acid- but it refused to come off, preferring to stay on an taunt Sole every time they walked past.

Whenever Sole went ‘missing’, they’d always be found sat staring down at the rock- as if the small stain of blood would give Sole all the answers to their memory loss. For the first three weeks after Sole woke up, they would always end up at the rock at six in the evening without fail.

Curie watched and worked, trying to keep Sole safe (Sole seemed intent on going and finding some trouble, meaning all their friends and companions needed to be on constant guard) but also trying to find some way of reversing Sole’s memory loss. She read through hundreds of pre-war medical books, trying to find something, anything, that would provide the answer.

After that evening’s dinner- a feast of radstag meat with roasted tato and corn, Sole made their way to the medical room where Curie would be waiting to administer the next round of drugs.

Sole took a Med-X once every two days, hoping that it would bring something back, however it would just somehow make them more ill.

Curie watched as Sole walked in the room, rubbing their stomach from the food (but Sole always seemed to complain about the food, it was as if their pre-war palate had returned and refused the food from the Commonwealth), ready for today’s injection.

Curie injected the Med-X into the back of Sole’s neck, just above their spine and then watched as the Med-X started running through Sole’s body- Sole’s body began to slacken and relax, and before long Sole fell asleep on the bed that they had claimed in the medical centre.

Curie reached down to the floor and picked up the knitted quilt that Sole used to keep warm and covered them up, before walking across the room and taking a seat at her desk opposite Sole. Curie reached over to the bookcase containing numerous medical books that had been found across the Commonwealth, before she set herself up with a few books for the night, wishing the answer would jump out from the pages.

The red hues of evening soon disappeared, and under candle light, Curie found herself reading through books (and re-reading through books), hoping that something that they hadn’t already tried would help regain Sole’s memories.

Sole had never been a quiet sleeper, so Curie had to listen out for Sole’s different noises; Sole tossed and turned, threw the quilt down on the ground, snored and at one point, even began speaking- something that they had never done before.

The next morning, Curie had just picked up a new book to begin reading when Sole woke up. There was silence- just the heavy breathing coming from Sole, and Curie looked up, slowly beginning to realise that there was something different about them. Something within Sole had changed.

“Curie…” Their voice was different- it was how Sole sounded before the accident (Whilst Sole was recovering their whole demeanor had changed, and the way they spoke was slower and more precise). Curie’s mouth opened wide in shock.

“Argh, Curie…” Sole moved their hand up to cradle their head- the spot that came in contact with the rock- and grimaced at the scar they found. “Why does my head hurt so much?”


When Cade told Danse that Sole’s road to recovery would be long, he hadn’t been lying (as much as Danse had hoped he had been).

Danse had given up his private quarters whilst Sole was recovering- living in the main quarters with numerous other people would be far too stressful for Sole whilst they tried to recover. For once, Maxson had agreed that Danse giving up his quarters was a good idea- not only was it easier access for Cade to reach, but Maxson usually spent most of his nights in his own quarters, and as the walls were so thin (so very thin, but that’s a story for another time), Maxson could hear Sole during the night.

Most nights, Danse would end up in Maxson’s quarters at night, sharing a bottle of Whiskey. Danse told Maxson of how he was feeling- if only he’d lifted his gun and fired sooner rather than waited for the larger Deathclaw to hone in on Sole’s location.

Being so close to Sole at nights broke his heart- the first couple of weeks Sole tried to cover up the volume level of their sobs, but as time went by, they no longer cared who heard. The idea of Sole lying on his bed sobbing onto the pillow that he’d scavenged from the Capitol broke his heart in numerous places. All he wanted to do was go in there and take them in his arms, reassuring them that they are safe and everything is and will be all okay.

A month after Sole woke up Cade asked for a meeting with Elder Maxson, Sole and Danse (as he was still their mentor). Maxson called for the meeting to be held in his private quarters rather than the command centre, so at midday, the four were sat around the table in Maxson’s room, the door firmly shut and guarded.

“So I called this meeting to discuss a few different things…” Cade began, once everyone was comfortably settled down around the table, each person with a can of purified water sat out in front of them.

“The first was informing Elder Maxson over your progress Sole. Since the accident happened a month ago, the injuries have repaired themselves and the majority of them are now fully healed. Aside from the amnesia, there are and will be no long lasting injuries…” Danse let out a sigh of relief at hearing this for the first time.

“However, the amnesia seems to be long lasting, something that we were hoping we could avoid. As per protocol, we have two weeks left before Sole will be demoted down from Knight to something out of danger on board the Prydwen. We can only hope for a miracle now”

After the meeting Sole’s crying got louder at night, but throughout the day there would be absolute silence from Sole. Danse had told them one night about all that they had done (the stuff that Sole had forgotten), and Sole so desperately wanted to remember.

On the second week, Cade had all the paperwork ready for both Sole and Maxson to sign. Danse had been sent to wake Sole up, but before he could open the door the Prydwen was silenced by a scream.

Scrambling to open the door, Danse nearly had a heart attack fearing the worst. Throwing the door open, he was met with Sole barreling into his arms, wrapping themself tightly around him.

Cade and Maxson stood out in the corridor watching as Sole sobbed into Danse’s shirt, muttering about this, and that, and about how they’ve finally remembered. They remember, they know. They have their memories back.

Sole turned, glaring at the paper that hung from Cade’s hands.

“You can burn that…”


The day that Sole fell down the stairs because he patted them on the back was a horrible day, but at least the fall didn’t cause any memory loss. Deacon would always feel so guilty about it, being as he was the one that practically pushed them.

That night, after Carrington giving Sole the once over and all clear, Sole settled down on the mattress opposite Deacons, and as soon as their head hit the pillow they were out like a light. That was the first clue that something was wrong, Deacon realised- it usually took Sole hours of tossing and turning to get to sleep.

And it was proven the next morning when the only recognition of the last several months after being defrosted was Deacon.

Deacon was a light sleeper (as were most of the agents in HQ), but Sole’s scream the next morning could wake the heaviest sleepers. Sole had woken up and spotted Glory and Desdemona lurking nearby, wanting to talk to the vault dweller- Sole had no recollection as to who the two were, or where they were.

As Deacon stared with wide eyes, he felt guilt crash over his body. He’d caused this.

He watched from his bed roll as Sole backed up into a corner (he’d later realise that Glory- for some unknown fucking reason, was stood their with her motherfucking minigun), eyes frantically searching the room for something familiar- or an exit- before they landed on him.  

Within seconds Sole had thrown themself across the room, landing on Deacon’s lap with their arms wrapped tightly around his neck and shoulders.

With wide- and very uncomfortable- eyes, Deacon looked up to Des. Glory had run off to get Carrington, dropping her gun near her bedroll on the way. He watched Carrington talk quietly to Des before he walked back to his area, coming back with a needle.

Unable to speak- for fear of frightening Sole- Deacon glared intently at Carrington, daring him to take a step closer.

And yet the doctor did, within seconds ending up standing just above Sole. He raised the arm holding the needle up before bringing it down on Sole, inserting it in their skin just below the neck.

Sole screeched, before dropping in Deacon’s arm like a dead weight- unconscious. Deacon stared at Sole’s face, not quite believing what had just happened, before talking in the darkest voice he could muster.

“Carrington, you better fucking run…”

It turned out that Carrington had- in pre-war terms- put Sole in an induced coma. It was highly uncommon in the Commonwealth, but apparently it was safe and would hopefully bring back Sole’s memories.

Carrington had hoped the coma would last a few days- three at the max- but it was a week after and Sole still hadn’t come too.

At nights Deacon would bring Sole’s body close to his, resting his head on their chest and listen to their heart beat (reassuring him) and slow breaths, never once allowing himself to fall into fitful sleep. During the day he would sit against the wall opposite staring, hoping they would wake soon and try and steal his sunglasses.

It was on the ninth night when Sole finally woke. They buried their- very cold- nose into the crook of his neck and allowed their hands to wander up his body, slowly reaching his face. Once, he promised himself as he allowed them to remove the sunglasses from his face, revealing his eyes to them.

Staring into his eyes, Sole brought their lips down to meet his in a slow kiss.


“Hey handsome… What’s your name?”

The words that Sole woke up and muttered milled around in Hancock’s head day in day out. It was his fault that Sole was in this mess and couldn’t even remember their own name- he was after all, the one to both give them the drug and the person that helped the needle find the vein.

Curie revealed that Sole would have to go through some intense shit to get their memory back, and Hancock couldn’t help but feel immense guilt for it.

Sole’s other friends and companions helped in every way they could- but they also looked down their noses at the ghoul mayor- it was his fault, after all.

“Hey handsome… What’s your name?”

He’d told Sole his name repeatedly- every time they asked he replied. He’d thought about pulling a Deacon (in more ways than one) and either giving Sole a fake name or flaking and getting a face change- he’d thought intensely about that one… would it work?

But he stayed, because Sole needed every single person they could get, and even though it were his fault, he’d still be there whenever they needed him.

The recovery was hard. It had started with two inhalers of addictol- Sole had an addiction that no-one (including Hancock) had recognised, and the first part of the recovery was the addiction. Sole was locked away in their room whilst the drugs slowly left their body- the addictol needed time to work.

After Sole was clean from the chems, they needed to start regaining memories. Deacon suggested the memory den, but Curie had outright refused- all the data and memories at once could be potentially more harmful than good.

“Hey handsome… What’s your name?”

They started giving Sole items that should bring back memories. Before the accident, Sole had found a small box that contained pictures of their pre-war life; Curie gave them a new picture every day to study, hoping that something within the picture would work.

A pre-war book had suggested yoga- that had just made Sole look silly, but it was something that happened daily around the settlement now- it was apparently also good for stress.

The same pre-war book suggested eating lots of vegetables- Sole was now fed a diet of tatos, corn and carrots, which they didn’t seem too happy about.

Curie also made Sole exercise a lot- meaning they ran laps of Sanctuary until their legs felt like they were going to fall off. The only thing it did was make Sole really tired.

That was a good thing, Hancock concluded as he snuck in Sole’s room and curled his body up against their sleeping figure. He felt himself fall into a deep sleep, the first in a long time that wasn’t plagued by guilt and hatred for himself.

He woke the next morning with a hand gently caressing his cheek, the thumb softly rubbing beneath his eye.

“Hey Hancock…”

The words slowly registered in his mind… Hancock… not Handsome. His eyes flew open and he found himself staring into Sole’s eyes.

“Say it again…” He murmured, bringing his lips down to meet theirs in a kiss.

“Hey…” They’d kissed before numerous numbers of times- the first time had been Sole wanting to know how Hancock’s lips would feel pressed up against their own. This was different however. It was a kiss filled with promises of the future. “…Hancock”


“Bond… James Bond”

When Sole woke up and MacCready held out his hand, he hadn’t expected them to reply in such a way. He’d briefly heard of James Bond before- Deacon was a big fan of the pre-war super secret spy, and loved talking about him at any given opportunity.

At least Sole remembered something, Mac thought to himself, even if it was in the wrong era.

Sole had woken up expecting to be in pre-war time, and had a hard time believing that the bombs ever did drop.

MacCready’s heart sunk- he didn’t know what to do or say to convince them otherwise- the outside world in itself should have been enough. But it hadn’t been- Sole believed that it was some set that they’d created to trick them- they told MacCready that they could go and get Nate/Nora and finish this whole prank.

Allowing Sole to travel hadn’t been MacCready’s smartest move- they’d near but all forgotten how to fire a gun, and here they were, luckily alive but injured after a gang of raiders thought they could kill and loot the pair. Once again, MacCready’s mind was chanting at him. Not another one. Not another one.

He reached into his pack, trying to find a stim and Med-X when his hand touched the Vertibird single grenades that Sole kept in his pack.

Knowing that the Brotherhood had hoarded all the technology- and somewhere in the back of his mind knowing that fact might be a good thing- MacCready threw down the grenade and hoped for the best.

It didn’t take long before the sound of the engines from a vertibird flew near- they landed several feet away and within seconds the two Knights had their guns raised at MacCready (he hadn’t really thought the plan through very well- of course they’d think that Mac would have been the one to injure Sole).

He quickly held his hands up before rapidly began explaining to them what had happened- maybe adding a few lies- and within seconds a soldier flew from the vertibird with a stretcher. They were on the Prydwen before they knew it- MacCready basically begged them to let him go with Sole, even telling the soldiers that he was their husband.

Out of all of the doctors in the Commonwealth, Knight-Captain Cade was the best (only just better that Curie), meaning that Sole was well and truly in safe hands.

As soon as they entered the Prydwen MacCready was detained- they still thought he had something to do with Sole’s injuries. He was taken down into the underbelly of the big floating blimp, before being detained in a small cage with a bed.

He stayed silent, hoping that his silence would allow some information on how Sole was doing would float down to him.

Instead, an enraged Sole came storming down the stairs, screaming their head off at the Knight who was stood on guard outside MacCready’s prison.

Sole ordered the Knight to release Mac (Sole was very, very scary when angry), before the pair went storming up the stairs to the exit, hoping on the first free Vertibird to take them down to safe land.

“So Mr Bond…” Sole started, small grin lighting up their eyes as they spoke to MacCready. MacCready huffed a laugh out of his nose- it seemed like Sole had their memory back, but also remembered what happened whilst they didn’t have any memory.


Sole brought their hand up and smacked their own head- Nick wondered if they were supposed to have done it, but didn’t say anything about it.

“I’m so sorry…” They stuttered out, their face flushing red in embarrassment. “That was so rude of me… I didn’t mean it like that?”

“No, no it’s fine…” Sole stared at his face, hoping that the name of the companion with them would come to their head sometime soon.

“What’s your name?” As Sole said it, they winced before holding their head in their hand; there was blood on their head when they pulled away.

“Nick Valentine. I think that we should head up north then wade through the water to the Slog sometime soon. We need to get to safety.”

Nick held on to Sole’s arm as they hid in the shadows moving north. Nick begged to whoever that the pesky Deathclaw infested area that he was planning to cross at was free of Deathclaws- he doesn’t think he’d be able to fight a Deathclaw whilst still holding on to Sole.

Luckily it was clear- there was, however, a Deathclaw carcass sat around the corner half in the water, the meat taken from the body- most probably cut up for the dinner of the settlers of the Slog.

Nick moved his arm to wrap around Sole’s waist as they made their way through the irradiated water (Sole made running commentary the whole way through, talking about how the water was making their skin tingle- they even made a comment about Nick’s circuitry breaking but stopped once again with a blush on their face). The trip up the river’s embankment was more of a difficult task than the water, but they took slow baby steps, with Sole finally reaching the top completely out of breath. As they made the short trip towards the entrance of the Slog (with a wired fence around the whole settlement, and one entrance in, big doors preventing unwanted visitors), Nick felt Sole’s body seized up when they saw the turrets hone onto them, before continuing searching for those who pose a real threat to the settlement.

The settlers rushed to their aid when they saw Nick and Sole (especially the state that Sole was in), the newest settler (who just so happens to be a doctor) rushing to their side.

The doctor told Nick that the memory loss should only be temporary- hopefully- and that all they could do in the meantime was rest, and in Sole’s case, sleep.

Sole didn’t need to be told to sleep twice, because as soon as their head hit the pillow they were asleep. The ghoul walked and found a spare quilt to cover Sole with- they were very cold, but then they usually were a lot colder than most other humans (Sole thinks it has something to do with the vault).

Nick doesn’t sleep- doesn’t need to- so he pulled up a chair to Sole’s bedside and sat watching over night, telling the doctor to go back to sleep and that he’ll go and get them if anything bad happens.

Sole slept the whole way through the night, not waking once- which was quite unusual for them- and when they woke up the next morning it seemed as if the good doctor was right- it had only been temporary for Sole.

Wiseman told Sole to use the showers to wash the blood and dirt from their body, and once Sole was cleaned, dried and in cleaner clothes, the doctor told them to stay in the Slog for a little while- a day at the minimum, just so that their body could rest and relax before they head back out on the road.  


Dr sun hadn’t been happy that Sole was able to get one over on him- he’d genuinely thought that Sole didn’t have any lasting memory damage.

After Sole had asked Piper who she was, Piper ran to get Dr Sun once again. He’d asked Sole some more questions- one’s that were more specific to Sole, and that was when he realised that there was a problem with Sole.

He hated to break to Piper that there was nothing that he could do for Sole- well, other than daily shots of Med-X, and maybe some other chems (he thought that mentats might work). This was something that Sole and Sole’s brain had to do and work out on it’s own. But that didn’t make Piper feel much happier.

A few days after, Piper went into the security offices to find the man was still in lock up. As soon as he saw Piper he began frantically asking questions about how Sole was, but Piper just marched over and spoke to the security guard.

“Why is he still in here?” The guard’s eyes narrowed into slits.

“You were there Piper, you saw what this man did…”

“Yes, I was there. I’ve also been there for Sole for the last several months, and will be there for Sole whenever they need me. This isn’t what Sole would have wanted. Just let him out…” She gave no room for disagreement, no room for challenge.

Piper marched over and stood in front of the man.

“She has memory loss… she has no idea where we are or who any of us are. She’s gonna have to have daily shots of Med-X, and you’re going to be the one paying for it. Whether you like it or not.”

Piper stood to the side whilst the guards reluctantly opened the door to the cell, letting the man go free. Silently Piper turned on her heel and walked to the exit, not planning on talking to the man further. However the man followed behind, bumbling out questions far too quickly for Piper to even begin hearing what was being said.

“Go and speak to Dr Sun. Tell him that you are the one that is going to be paying for Sole’s medical bills.” Piper cut him off and told him, before walking to home plate and locking the door behind her.

Sole’s memory slowly began coming back to them- little things at first- the colour of a pre-war sky in the morning; the bitter taste of coffee (even though they hadn’t had coffee whilst being in the Commonwealth)- they even remembered their drivers licence number, not that they needed to know it anymore.

Then the bigger things started coming- the wedding day to Nate/Nora; the birth of Shaun; the heat of the bombs dropping and the contrasting coldness of the vault once they woke to the new world; the radiated smell of the new world that they’d been thrusted into; the day that they met Piper.

Slowly, Sole’s memory began coming back, but one day they ended up getting a knock on the head- not as bad as the first, but enough to render them unconscious.

That was the closest that Piper had ever seen Dr Sun coming to crying- all his hard work leading up to another knock.

The most recent knock however, seemed to be better than the first. When Sole woke, just three hours later, they woke with every single memory intact- all their memories from before the war, travelling through the Commonwealth, their arguments with Danse and separately with Tinker Tom, and even their memories that they’d had to rebuild after losing them all.


Preston knew that Sole wasn’t themselves because of the sadistic grin that settled on their face.

The grin stayed on their face when gunners started coming from building’s of Quincy with their guns raised, and began tying the minutemen soldiers’ arms behind their back, leading them off for imprisonment or maybe even worse.

Sole was the one that restrained Preston, dragging him in a different direction than the other minutemen had been taken in. Whilst they were walking, Preston tried to talk to Sole, to ask them questions about what happened to them, but he was only met with silence.

He was marched into the old police station and thrown into a cell, and it wasn’t long before a gunner commander had come and ordered Sole out the room- it broke Preston’s heart to see Sole obeying without a second thought.

Sole was the person that was in charge of caring for the prisoners. They’d bring food (though it was never anything nutritious- a plate of corn or tatos) and a bottle of purified water to last them through the day. Preston was confused as to why the gunners were keeping them all alive- and how they managed to get Sole to become their slave.

Sole would walk into the room to hand over Preston’s food and water, before turning to leave. But before they left the room they would hesitate, as if they wanted to say something more- the word’s were on the tip of their tongue, but they’d never come out.

Preston and the minutemen were in their prisons for a whole fortnight before Sole started actually speaking to them.

It was small conversations at first- when dropping off the food (where the portions had gone up considerably in size and having an additional bottle of purified) Sole would ask if there was enough food for them.

The Sole started to ask who the minutemen were (they were shocked to hear that they were the general of the minutemen); where the minutemen headquarters were; questions that Sole should have known- it made Preston question if Sole had some sort of memory loss.

After a month of being locked away in prison cells, Sole (along with the other imprisoned minutemen) came running in the room, keys swinging from their hands.

“Come on Preston…” They unlocked the door and helped him out, handing over the laser musket that they confiscated from him when they locked him up.

There were shouts echoing around Quincy from the gunners and Sole nodded to the minutemen, who ran outside and started fighting against the gunners.

Preston nodded to Sole before running outside to join the fight, making sure that he kept an eye on Sole at all times- this could be a trap after all.

Luckily, there was few injuries from any minutemen- a few cuts from shrapnel from grenades and a couple of bullet scrapes, but they were out and on their way back to safety within hours.

They headed up towards Jamaica Plain and stopped their for the night- they would have continued up towards the castle, however everyone was far too tired to continue on and keep each other safe.

Once they arrived they headed straight towards the guest quarters, set up in a renovated building opposite the town hall. Sole grabbed Preston’s hand and led him towards a different building- one that was set up just for Sole. They settled down opposite each other on a bed roll and Sole began to explain everything that happened to them over the past month.


Before the accident with the two coursers, Sole had never been to the Institute before- to them, the Institute was still the boogeyman of the Commonwealth.

When father assigned X6 to be the one to watch over Sole, he specifically said to not bring Sole to the Institute- Sole needed to find it themselves. However, father also said that no harm was to come of Sole- so X6 had taken their life in his own hands when other coursers tried to kill them.

The doctors at the Institute ran different tests on Sole whilst they were unconscious- X6 didn’t leave their side once, he had his orders to follow (and he’d technically already disobeyed them by allowing Sole to get hurt).

He was a bit put off when Sole woke and started freaking out- even more so when he got told to leave by the doctors.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to bring Sole down to the Institute if there was a chance that Sole had brain damage/memory loss. Sole had forgotten everything that had happened since they went into the vault- they believed that it was 2076.

Father tried to separate X6 from Sole’s side at first- X6 was sent out on numerous missions to find some runaway synths, which he completed quicker than he ever had before.

Whilst out travelling he ended up walking past a Brotherhood post- they were talking and reporting on Sole who was being reported MIA (although, it sounded as if it were gonna change to KIA). The Paladin that Sole was travelling with had alerted the Elder that the Institute were involved with Sole’s ‘kidnapping’. X6 knew that he would have to tell Father this fact.

Sole spent the majority of three days in the medical rooms, and then the rest of their recovery was spent in their private quarters that Father gave them.

Father went to them and explained who he was (just not that he was their son- Sole thought that Father was their step-parent, and X6 couldn’t wait for them to find out the truth), and where they were, and told Sole that until their memories returned, Father would not be permitting them to go back to the surface.

Working alongside the doctors, there was a chance that Sole might be able to regain their memories, which was all anyone wanted for them.

With all the technology that the Institute had at their fingertips, it was only a matter of time before Sole regained their memories.

It took three weeks and four days after they first initially woke up before their memories returned. Sole scuttered around the Institute like a lost deer, searching for an exit (or something or someone that could explain to them just where they were). X6 had been the one to place a reassuring hand upon their shoulder- he hadn’t expected them to react in a positive way, but they instantly calmed.

X6 lead them up to the meeting room that he was oh so familiar with- he lead them to a seat opposite Father and sat in on the meeting with parent and son.

Father should have waited for a little while for Sole to get better, because they didn’t take the revolutions well. They freaked out, before practically begging Father to let them return to the surface. He allowed them to go, only if they returned at some point- they agreed, and then they were gone, returned to the surface.

X6 followed his orders to watch Sole, watching silently from afar as Sole threw a Vertibird grenade and then got picked up by a passing team, taken straight to the Prydwen.


Maxson had to put the last several months of their relationship had to be put aside- sure, it had been rocky when Sole shielded the synth, but they were now stronger than ever.

Until the Railroad happened.

They had destroyed everything the Brotherhood had- but they hadn’t actually managed to destroy the Brotherhood.

With Sole’s body tucked into his own- at some point Sole had been knocked back into unconsciousness-, Maxson (along with the Lancer and a few Knights that had arrived after witnessing the crash site) headed North towards Listening Post Bravo. He knew that the synth- Danse- would still be there, but he needed somewhere safe for him and Sole to rest. And if the synth owed him anything, it could pay him back in this.

Telling the other soldiers with him that Danse was still alive completely slipped his mind, so when the doors opened and Danse raised his gun in their direction, he wasn’t surprised when they lifted their gun and tried to fire at the synth.

Instead of speaking, Maxson (still with Sole in his arms) turned his back on Danse and raised his guns at the soldiers by his side.

“Gun down Soldiers…” He lowered his own gun, shifting Sole around in his arms. “Danse is an ally” The soldiers looked to one another as they lowered their guns.

Maxson turned back to face Danse, before asking the wordless question for a bed- somewhere to put Sole.

Danse hesitantly beckoned Maxson to follow him, leading them around into a room which housed a bed, a trunk and a cooking station. Once Maxson stood over the bed, he lowered Sole down on it, laying their head down on the pillow that Danse usually used.

Once Sole was comfortable, Maxson turned and started issuing orders to his other men.

“Knights, I want one of you to go to the airport. See if there are any survivors, and if there are then tell them to go down to the police station. The other, I want you to travel up to Recon Bunker Theta- it’s where Kells, Cade, Ingram and Quinlan should be should they have survived the fall. Tell them where we are, but both of you are not to tell anyone else. Tell Cade I need him here urgently” Both the knights saluted, and turned to walk out of the building. “Lancer, I need you to head straight down to Cambridge airport. Although the Railroad slaughtered our soldiers there, everyone has been told to report their should the Prydwen fall.” The Lancer looked as if he wanted to say something, looking in between his Elder and the former Paladin, but instead turned and followed his fellow knights.

Danse and Maxson listened to the sound of the elevator lifting the trio back to the surface, leaving the pair in an awkward silence.

They started talking, with Danse telling Maxson how he was sorry that everything happened the it did, and that he had no intention of misleading the Brotherhood in such ways, and that he was sorry that the Prydwen was gone, and that Sole was going to be okay.

It took a few days before Cade turned up to the Listening Post, Ingram and Kells following behind- apparently Quinlan didn’t make it.

They were reluctant to spend the time underground, especially with the synth, but Sole was on their way to recovery. Everyone took night watch over Sole- with Maxson reluctant to leave them with anyone but himself- and it was Danse taking watch when Sole finally woke with their memory back.

Danse and Sole sat together for the night and spoke in quiet tones, Maxson lying in his bedroll silently listening in.


Upon seeing Sole, Deacon had nearly fallen over crying, taking their hands and face into his, not noticing the confused and terrified look on Sole’s face.

Des told Deacon to back off, before allowing Carrington- with Sole’s permission- to give Sole a once over. Carrington gave Sole a good bill of health physically, however they did have memory loss.

Des made sure that Sole stayed in the place they were hiding in- Des wanted Sole to regain their memories before they went out into the Commonwealth again, especially with the Brotherhood still around- they could very well take Sole and hold them hostage.

They slowly moved from the small building to one of their settlements- however it wasn’t Mercer- they decided to use one of the minutemen settlements to be safer for those at Mercer.

They travelled the Commonwealth at night- Deacon swore it was safer that way, and they needed to keep safe with Sole in tow. They stopped overnight in Bunker Hill, leaving in the nick of time, just as a Brotherhood recon team walked by.

From Bunker Hill they crossed and headed North-West, finally ending up in the settlement that they were going to be staying in.

The arrived around dark, heading straight towards an old out house that contained several beds. They each took a bed to themselves, Carrington gave Sole a shot of Med-X (apparently Carrington heard that Med-X helps people regain memories after people sustained head injuries) before everyone went off to sleep.

Des claimed the bed that was directly opposite Sole for the night- she didn’t end up sleeping, however just ended up staring at Sole, wishing that their memories would come back sooner rather than later.

The next morning, Sole joined Des and the others as they sat down and discussed the next plan for the Railroad. The Brotherhood needed to be dealt with accordingly- operation Red rocket’s glare had to go ahead, however Deacon wanted Sole there, however Carrington didn’t want Sole going out with no memories. They agreed that they would wait a week before they went ahead- hopefully they could make Sole’s memories return in that time, and also the Brotherhood wouldn’t be expecting them in a week.

They spent the week trying to help Sole get their memories back- they tried so many different things to get Sole’s memories back, yet it was the last day before they went and took down the Brotherhood before they came back.

Des followed them down to Cambridge Police station whilst Sole, Deacon and Tinker took out the Brotherhood there. She stayed at Cambridge whilst they all went to the Prydwen, and listened to the silent skies until she heard the sound of the explosion, and felt the ground shake when the burnt out blimp hit the floor.

The vertibird came back and docked back at the Police station, and Des met the three as the emerged from the station doors. Sole had cuts and bruises- the Brotherhood had clearly put up a fight, and Sole had clearly been on the receiving end.  

The Railroad agents left Cambridge whilst walking alongside the river, heading back towards HQ to plan their last operation- to take out the Institute.

anonymous asked:

Different Anon, but could you do a Scorch Next/Reader, where Newt's just starting to lose it and reader tries to comfort him, resulting in some rough smut?

Hellooooooooooooo :D (Oh my god you’re the second I’m so happy! THANK YOU!)

I love the idea so I’ve done it and it’s TOTALLY M

Hope it’s what you wanted :/ Maybe it’s too long and there’s too much talking? I don’t know! It’s my first Glader/Reader so… criticize all you want T.T

Bloody leave me, love.

You walked and walked for hours and it seemed like days now but you knew you had to keep walking. You are the only girl now. Teresa had vanished into thin air, leaving you alone with the boys. But you want to keep it steady. You can’t let the other gladers down. Even less when dusk is upon you. Soon you’ll have to find a shelter for the night.

“I c… argh… no Tommy leave it, will ya! Give me the bloody water!”

Newt’s voice pierce the sizzling hot air and you immediately turn toward him. He seems to be in pain,- so much pain. It has been this way for too long, now. Since you all had left the Glade. It had started slowly but it is more obvious each and every hour passing. Newt suffers more than the other gladers. And it’s not only the scorching sun, the burning sand and the fear you all feel. It’s something else. Something inside him. It would only disturb him first, but now he is rough to everyone. You can see he feels guilty but he can’t help it at some moments.

“Sorry Tommy…” you hear him say when he takes his last sip.

You can’t help but come near him and run a hand on his nape gently. He flashes you a look of pure shame while the others resume walking.

“It’s okay, Newt” you whisper.

“No, it’s not Y/N!” He answers a bit too hard, anger glowing in his amber eyes.

You take your hand back quickly, trying not to show you’re hurt – it wouldn’t help. He’s already red again, ashamed.

“We’ll walk for an hour more maybe but as soon as we see a place to crash for the night, we take it” Minho says from the front of your little and miserable queue.

“I’ll stay with you” you say to Newt without looking at him.

“Whatev’ Y/N” he grunts.

He takes a step forward, moving again, and you hear him sigh then:

“Thank you…”

You smile and brace yourself for what is coming but you’ll stay with him anyway. You love him way too much to abandon him – you wouldn’t even think about it. Newt and you aren’t a thing, you know that much. There was no time back in the glade for shallow love stories. Newt as the Second in command had too much to care about so you never told him what you felt for him.

Now all you can do is to show him you support him.

Even if he can’t see it.

“That’ll do for the night shanks. Everyone find a spot; don’t go too far in the building. I want to be able to hear every single one of you in case of… a shucking bad surprise in the middle of the night.”

After this little “speech” Minho leaves you all and grabs Thomas. Both come to one of the glassless window. More like a hole in the concrete wall. They start the watch like that.

Outside it is dark already and you guys had found a place of safety in an abandoned building falling into pieces.

“Can I help with something?” You ask, approaching the two boys.

They look at each other clearly in discomfort. Then you realize their gazes follow someone. You turn on your heels and saw Newt’s wandering silhouette near the farthest corner of the gigantic hall. From where you are, you can’t hear him at all; barely see him. When he drops on his knees, alone, and disappears behind a counter made of wood (was this place a dancing hall or a club before?) you feel your heart crushing badly.

“We don’t need you here Y/N, but… do you think you could… I don’t know” Thomas looks reluctant to ask what the three of you are thinking about.

“I’ll check on Newt and stay with him” you say with a gentle smile.

“Thank you Y/N…”

Minho and Thomas look as affected as you are seeing Newt like this. You give them a thumb up,- trying to cheer them up; and add:

“I’ll convince him to come and sleep closer.”

Minho pats you on the shoulder and you leave both of them.

You walk past the other gladers and walk more where no one had dared to come and sleep alone. The place is creepy as shuck to be honest. Only the light “thump” of your shoes on the concrete dust accompanies you as you come closer to Newt’s nest.

Eventually you counter the massive piece of wood covered in dust and dirt and fiund him sitting against the wall his feet pointing towards the remains of alcohol bottles crashed on the floor.

“Hey” you whisper.

Newt had clearly heard you coming but he doesn’t make a single sign proving he is aware of your presence. Again you feel hurt but decide you won’t abandon before long. Seeing him like that,- his amber eyes fixing a point with disgust and anger; it breaks your heart.

You decide you’d be better on the floor and drop next to him. Your sides are touching but again he doesn’t show any sign of… life actually.

You nudge him with your shoulder and try to smile.

“Come on Newt what are you doing here all alone? We miss you back there. Planning to do a big bonfire and sing and dance all night…”

You don’t know why you try to act that light-hearted but why not? Maybe he will laugh with that beautiful and musical laughter of him? Or just smile?…

He does nothing. Doesn’t even give you a glance.

Your throat tighten

“Newt…” you say again, low. “Please, say something.”

It’s painful. Really painful. But finally…

“You want me to say something t’ ya luv’?” He asks.

The icy tone he uses when pronouncing “love” makes you feel like crying all of a sudden. Newt always used that sweet nickname with you back in the glade and you liked it. Made you feel special. But now he is using it as a weapon aimed to hurt you…

“Yes…” you give him anyway.

“Alright then. I’ll say one thing: Bloody. Leave. Me. Alone.”

Saying that, he turns slightly toward you, his eyes full of something burning… something that looks like hatred. You bite your bottom lips, fighting tears of anger back. What the shuck is going on? Newt would never speak to you like that!

“What the hell, Newt!” You can’t help but exclaim a little too harsh.

You regret it instantaneously when you see him flattened against the wall and see – even in the dark – the guilt in his eyes.

“Sorry Y/N!” He blurts - blushing like crazy. “I can’t control myself, I don’t know what the bloody hell is wrong with me!”

More than ashamed, he looks sad and scared…

You feel the urge to take him in your arms and instinctively lean toward him, cupping his face with your hands.

“It’s okay Newt. I’ll stay, I don’t care… I just want you to feel good…” you breath against his cheek.

But when you pull back, a second later the anger his back in his eyes and you feel him forcing you down. In a matter of seconds you’re laying on your back between the wall and the counter, one of your arm crushing shattered pieces of glasses. A cry would have escaped you if you weren’t so shocked. Newt is sitting on your hipbones, your wrists caged in the strong grip of his hands. You’re as scared as in awe. He is beautiful and so broken at the same time.

“Want me to feel good, amma right luv’?”

You swallow with some difficulty hearing his dark tone. You are scared.

Then he leans over you as you close your eyes, squirming under him. And freeze.

Newt is licking your neck. From your collar bones to your jaw. The shiver running down your spine is more than intense. What the shuck is going on! There’s something wrong and you know it.

You always wanted this, dreamt of it but not like this. Not when Newt’s hot breath on your jaw is that feral.

“What are you doing!” You ask trying to push him away.

“Want to feel good Y/N…” he starts to say, dangerously humming against your neck. “Need to… Ouch!”

You eventually succeed in shoving your knee straight in his stomach and he falls back on his ass, between your legs. You’re the one who’s angry now.

“Not like that!” You spit.

But then you see how bad he is again. Not full of hate and almost crazy anymore. He puts a hand on his mouth and you can see him shaking madly.

“I’m so so… I don’t know… I didn’t mean… I’m… Oh my god I… Y/N…”

The boy is clearly as surprised as you are and it looks like he’s on the verge of crying. He is broken. You can see it perfectly now.

“I’m sorry,” he sobs.

It does it for you and you’re on him in a second, kissing the air out of him. You know it wasn’t him second earlier and now the Newt you love is back you want him bad – not knowing when or how you’re gonna lose him again. It’s a bit irrational but you need it and when he kisses you back with his hands locked on the front of your tank top in a deathly grip you moan deeply.

“I’m here” you breathe out when you part a second. “I’m with you Newt.”

“Don’t let me…” he tries to say, panting and shaking.

“I won’t. I won’t let you down. Never. I promise” you say wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you. Newt, I love you…”

The following second – as he moans heavily in your mouth – he pushed you back on the floor. It’s hard, again, and determined but the way he kisses you shows you one simple thing:

“I love you too, Y/N”

When he brings your arms above your head roughly, he’s still crying slightly and chanting the same thing. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Then one of his hands leaves your wrists and comes lower, directly to your belt. He unbuckles it fast; almost hurting you and you buck your hips up toward his with a whimper.

“Sorry love” he says.

But his lips crash on yours hard when his hand pulled your pants along your legs. You need it as much as him. You need him.

“Please” you hear yourself beg.

Your legs are bare under him and you finally push his hand away, dragging yours to his own belt. You get rid of it as fast as he did and your hands are roaming on his back like you’re one of these crazy cranks you saw before. Newt looks the same – eyes feverish devouring you all.

“I want you Y/N, always wanted you!” Newt groaned under his breath.

His mouth is now on your neck and almost distracts you enough for you to not notice what happens next; when his hand passes the fabric of your panties and he forces two fingers into you.

You shout. Loud. And both of you freeze on the spot. You know others can’t really hear you but you don’t need anyone to come and see what’s happening here.

Newt is the first to forget about them and the two fingers that had stilled in you start to move again, soon, fast. And roughly.

You moan, again and again at the sensation. It hurts a little but there’s something else so much more… perfect.

“I love you” he says again, desperate.

And you feel how wet you become under his touching, his kisses and around his fingers as he shoved them in and out faster and harder. You want…

“More. Newt, more.”

You feel a third finger instantaneously but push him away.

“Not like that,” you grunt. “I want you

He doesn’t need you to show him but you do it anyway and pulled both his pants and boxers down, leaving him naked against your stomach.

“Please” you say.

“Oh my god…” he groans looking at you like you’re the most beautiful yet dangerous person on earth.

“I want you in me, Newt.”

It’s done. He literally tears your panties apart and without even a word slams hard into you. You bite your hand violently - your eyes widening and he stills himself, kissing your face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I don’t know what I’m doing I… I… Oh my god…”

You bucked your hips. That’s where he stops. Now he is silenced, his eyes dark and burning with desire. Desire and love.

You love him too and you want him to move. So does he. Soon he pushes in you again and you lock your legs around his waist.

Newt takes your wrists again, brings them above your head and thrust mercilessly into you, moaning and grunting like he is crazy.

You do just the same, feeling him whole and big into you. It’s too much for you but you keep up the maddening pace.

“Newt!” you cry your voice broken when you can’t hold on anymore.

Your nails leave long and large red marks on his back but he keeps thrusting and slamming hard into you.

“I want you to come Y/N. Come around me!” He muttered under his breath.

He silences your moan kissing you like it was the last time and leaves your wrists to play with your nipples.

“I won’t last longer, love… Come with me, now!” He says again, begging.

“Oh my god, Newt” you moan.

The grip of your hands tighten on his shoulders while your walls clench around him.

“I love you!” You both blurt at the same time and you feel him releasing himself in you.

Then silence engulfs the two of you, leaving you panting – him still on you.

“Don’t ever leave me Y/N, please… I need you. I can’t do it if you’re not with me…” you hear him say minutes later.

He whispers and maybe he is crying again. You run a hand through his hair, kissing the top of his head. Your heart almost exploded.

“Never. I promised. Always by your side.”