are you trying to pee like a dog

A Little Too Drunk Starters:
  • “Oh, HELL no! Not in MY bed!”
  • "We watched some horror movie.. I think it’s called, ‘the Teletubbies..’?”
  • “Pants are just an illusion.”
  • “Shut the fuck up a pikachu onesie does so suit me.”
  • “Hey, man, I hate to tell you this, but I think your dog’s cheating on you..”
  • “Hey, the cat crashed your car.”
  • “I thought today was your birthday, so I rented a bouncy house, but then I remembered it isn’t, so now we have a bouncy house.”
  • “It’s not a mattress, it’s my kingdom and you are encroaching on it.”
  • “[NAME]’s a VIP at that one strip club….. What’s it called again… 'Golden Corral’?”
  • “I’m bleeding?!”
  • “I have to tell you a secret…”
  • “You think it’s important that I lost my shirt?! You think it’s important?! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IMPORTANT!!! CALLIOU CAN’T FUCKIN’ TIE HIS SHOES!!!”
  • “I need at least seven sweet and sour sauces or I’m fucked.”
  • “I was pretending to be a ninja and the blade of the knife just flew right off and broke the window.”
  • “Look, man, I didn’t mean to pee on you.”
  • “Thanks for letting me room with you… By the way, vodka makes me gassy.”  
  • “You want to go to Taco Bell?”
  • “I lost [NAME]. Have you seen them?”
  • “Wow, you look so much better when I’m drunk. You should try it more often.”
  • “Hello, 911? Are you still awake?”
  • “Jesus told me to do it.”
  • “I’m really sorry I’m so creepy everybody…”
  • "This is awful. I am inventing electricity, and you look like an asshole.”
  • “How many nutrients do you think there are in dog biscuits? I already ate, like five.”
  • “Hamsters have feelings, too..”
  • “Who convinced me to come here?”
  • “The dog looked so lonely.. So I took it home.”
  • “Look at all this snow. Imagine if it was sand, but still cold. No wait, warm snow. Man, that’d be cool..”
  • “You’re not very hot, but maybe after another beer or two..”

Good things about the Scooby Doo movie

  • Daphne being a bamf who saves the day by beating up the macho guy who spent the movie calling her a damsel
  • Fred’s autobiography “Fred on Fred; The Many Faces of Me”
  • Popular late 90′s alt rock band Sugar Ray having a guest appearance where they try to kill Shaggy and Scooby
  • “Rour rom reats Rat Roo!” “NO SCOOB, YOUR MOM EATS CAT POO!”
  • The guy who tries to sacrifice a dead chicken
  • The monster training tape teaching monsters to act like stereotypical college students
  • “Oh i can be spooky, rawr rawr, with the claws and everything, rawr rawr rawr”
  • “What up dog…and dog?” “Reepin Real!”
  • Fred flicks Scooby on the nose so Scooby punches him in the fucking face
  • Scrappy doo peeing on Daphne then getting his ass thrown out of the gang
  • “He wasn’t even a puppy! He had a gland problem!’
  • “Rit rastes rike rastic!” “So what if it tastes like plastic Scoob you drink out of the toilet!” :RO RO ROU!”
  • Fred trying to get the monsters to do the electric slide
  • Velma getting drunk and dancing on a piano
  • “This is almost as embarrassing as the time you decided to clean your beans at Don Knott’s Christmas party!’ Scooby doo laughs and winks at the camera

Bad things about the Scooby Doo movie

  • ??????
  • None
  • This movies a national treasure 
100% scientific grading of all (most) Dragon Age companions/advisors


Alistair: Is a sweetheart who does his best and is a fantastic tank and has great hair, great sense of humor, I just want to hug him, rating: A+

Dog: Faithful, loyal, pees on things, (Happy bark!), rating: A+

Leliana: looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill you, likes the way you do your hair, is a sweetheart, rating: A+

Morrigan: will put a spell on you (and now you’re hers), #1 witch, becomes a great mom even though her own upbringing wasn’t that great, rating: A+

Oghren: goes into the Deep Roads to try to find his wife, doesn’t give a flying nug, rating: A+

Shale: is a giant rock, great voice, great backstory, rating: A+

Sten: so Qunari he makes the Arishok look small-time, learns over time to respect the Warden, rating: A+

Wynne: #1 Grandma, great healer, is playing the long game so she can troll everyone in Asunder, rating: A+

Zevran: Best accent, beautiful hair and skin complexion, “for you I would march into the Black City itself, never doubt it!”, rating: A+

Loghain Mac Tir: honestly you don’t have a daughter like Anora unless you’re kicking ass and taking names yourself, rating: A+


Anders: is fucking adorable, will save all cats, ~Anders’ spicy shimmy~, #1 healer but seriously make him an Arcane Warrior for a good time, rating: A+

Justice: Fade spirit just doing his best, wants to help everyone, looks good in plate, rating: A+

Nathaniel Howe: Loves Amaranthine, defends his family but also learns to see their faults, is definitely gonna bang my Cousland on top of his dad’s grave, rating: A+

Oghren: “You joined the Grey Wardens?  Really?”  “You said it would be hot!”  “WE WERE ROLEPLAYING!” rating: A+

Sigrun: oh my god she’s so cute but also smashes darkspawn in the face, DESERVES A BETTER ENDING for sure, rating: A+

Velanna: Goodnight shemlen b/c Velanna is coming for you, doesn’t give any shits, is prob. one of the biggest badasses in the series, rating: A+


Anders: WAS RIGHT, fuck the templars, how can one feathermage be so pure, has loved Hawke for three years oh my god? voiced by Adam Howden who donated money to a GoFundMe for my sister’s sick cat (true story), rating: A+

Aveline: WILL TANK ALL OF THEDAS, do no harm but take no shit, will beat Hawke’s ass if necessary, “real nice night for an evening!” rating: A+

Bethany: who’s the best BETHANY’S THE BEST, Hawke’s #1 biggest most supportive fan, definitely best haircare routine and the most pure, rating: A+

Carver: does his best, actually secretly loves Hawke deep down inside, they probably built pillow forts together as kids and were def. best friends, rating: A+

Fenris: best spiky broody elf in any franchise, prob. the smartest individual in the entire Kirkwall Crew honestly, trying his hardest to move on, voiced by Gideon Emery and everything that guy touches turns to gold, rating: A+

Isabela: #1 pirate queen, has a heart of gold and loves Hawke, she just loves Hawke so much????? she’s going to let the Kirkwall Crew live happily ever after on her pirate ship I’m so proud of her, rating: A+

Merrill: dESERVED BETTER in every respect, just wants to help everyone??? Loves Mahariel and Tamlen so mucH?? Merrill/FHawke is such a pure ship omg, rating: A+

Sebastian Vael: definitely tries his best and wants so hard to live up to his name, will shot you with bow, makes that outfit look honestly stylin’, #1 accent in all of the Free Marches, rating: A+

Varric: Actual #1 Bro™, there is no bro who has ever bro’d harder, HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH HAWKE IS honestly, probably the best friendship in any game, like this if you cry every tim, rating: A+


Blackwall: Can we discuss that beard tho, just doing his best, honestly the best banter, “What can a grey warden do?” “save the fucking world if pressed”, rating: A+

Cassandra: holy shit is htere a bigger badass in Thedas no there is not, did you guys watch the anime holy shit.  if she met Aveline it would be the unstoppable force meets the immovable object honestly, rating: A+

Cole: pure spirit child, “he’s only 12 years old and already more psychic than his dad” - dril, dies a lot when he’s in my party i’m sorry Cole, rating: A+

Dorian: actual most  styling man out there, had to leave Tevinter because he was so damn stylish he was putting the rest of the Imperium to shame, oh my god he’s just like, best friends with your Inquisitor and it’s so?? pure? rating: A+

Iron Bull: lmao it’s over for you if you get in trouble with this guy also the Chargers are basically? great? and he’s so good to Krem?? voiced by a guy who loves this job and loves video games, rating: A+

Sera: is gonna throw bees at your head and is looks good in plaidweave, deserves better, most unique accent in the series, has good taste in ladies, rating: A+

Solas: it was Egg who caused the trouble but honestly he’s doing his best, gets approval anytime you’re nice to like anyone, GREAT artist, i heard there was a secret chord that david played and it pleased the lord but you don’t really care for music do you? it goes like this the fourth the fifth the minor fall the major lift the baffled king composing hallelujah???  rating: A+

Varric: guess who’s back, back again, Varric’s back, and tbh he’s just so good and he helps everyone and is helping the inquisitor b/c he cares so much, rating: A+

Vivienne: WOW has anyone ever looked so goddamn gorgeous, probably not, way too stylish for you plebeians, i only wish i could raise myself to her level, but i also don’t want her to ever lower her standards which she would have to do to even talk to me, rating: A+

Cullen: has been through a lot of shit and come out surprisingly chill, admits his mistakes, loves dogs like all good Fereldans, definitely got that lip scar from Hawke though, rating: A+

Josephine: honestly the best fashion sense in Skyhold, those ruffles though, is very pure?? I just want to cuddle her on the couch forever, make her some rice krispy treats and then take her on a vacation because she deserves it, rating: A+

Leliana: Murderpope best pope, rating: A+

College Boy - Part Four

Pairing: Y/N and Harry

Word Count: 1895

Prompt: Harry wants a shot at a normal life so he attends Northeastern University, but it’s harder than he thinks. The friends he made just want fame, and the other hardly look at him. But then he meets her, Y/N, and she wants nothing to do with the a-list celebrity.

Part One Part Two Part Three

Harry: Dinner?

Harry: I stopped by your dorm but you’re not there

Harry: Y/N I’m hungry

Harry: I’ll get college pizza without you

Harry: *insert broken heart emoji* I cant find the actual emoji

Y/N giggles reading the texts. It was now March and they had been a couple for a couple weeks now, Y/N’s favorite weeks. She loved spending her time with Harry (technically before she had spent all her time with Harry) but this time was different. This time she could kiss his cheek, hold his hand, and sometimes just cuddle up next to him when she was so tired.

She loved when Harry came in to work and dropped her off her favorite drink or a small snack, and the officers had taken a like to Harry as well-but who wouldn’t. Y/N was getting busy though, class work picked up for her and Harry managed to not have classes on Friday which drove her insane.

Y/N quickly responds, wish I could but I have to finish my lab x

Keep reading

Keep Your Vermin Dogs Off My Counter

So, working in a copy/print center spawns enough stories of its own, but this one was a recent that took the cake for me.

The “cave” as I call it is separated from the main walkway of the store by a large counter, where the register sits on one side and a computer (for Fed Ex dropoffs) on the other. Nice big space in between to deal with customers and so on.

Well during a shift, I have the usual “can you help me with one of the self serve copy machines?” (Translated: do it for me and I’ll just stand here and watch) even though we have how-to instructions ON THE MACHINES (another rule of retail: doesn’t matter how big the sign is, no one is ever gonna read it). I’m helping Helpless Harry for a bit, and though I snark about it, he was a nice guy, and then I notice there’s a gentleman at the counter, so I scuttle over.

I begin my greeting spiel when the man puts out a hand in warning. “Be careful-” I blink and look down. There’s a large puddle on the counter. Immediately my mind flashes to /well at least it’s just water…/ “-it’s dog urine.”

I admit to pausing for a couple seconds in something akin to shock. Then reality (and my well-hidden anger) snaps me back, and I rush into action, because other people are starting to show up. I call over another co-worker to ring up customers while I quickly grab paper towels and Lysol wipes and begin vehemently wiping up the mess, mentally snarling about wanting bleach and the lack of common sense in customers.

And sure enough, here comes an old Dolly Parton-wannabe (poofed up hair, gaudy makeup, leopard print, etc) with the fattest, stupidest-looking dachshund tucked backwards under her arm (no service collar/vest, not even a leash), and two (yes I noticed that detail), TWO squares of paper towels clutched in her hand. She proceeded to ineffectually dab the towels at the mess for a span of about 3 seconds before waddling away, all the while stating “Oh goodness he NEVER does this sort of thing and I had JUST let him outside…” and trailing off.

So basically I’m left with the mess, trying not to have it come into contact with other customers while I clean up after the stupid vermin, who was shaking the entire time and looking like it was ready to piss again.

Best part? Not 5 minutes later, after everything was cleaned up, I got to ring up Dolly 😑 she babbled about whatever it was she had in mind, and not a “sorry” or a “thank you” for anything that happened.

Tl,dr: lady puts her babied vermin on my clean counter, it pees, and I have to clean it up.

I don’t care WHAT sort of dog a person has - if it’s a nervous wreck around people, much less being in majorly populated areas, DON’T TAKE IT WITH YOU. I have a prejudice against anything daschund or smaller, predominantly those and Chihuahuas because of negative interactions

Art Block Banishing Spell

Or more of a tip, actually…

If you find yourself artistically stuck in a rut (aka infamous “writer’s block” and such) make something with the sole purpose of destroying it.

Write lyrics to a song, a poem, a short story. Or try to remember your favourite childhood fairytale by heart. Paint something, with any medium. Draw a doodle, fill up a page completely blue with one single ink pen, fill up a scrap of paper with little spirals or “hello” word. Bake something, sew something.

Sew the ugliest pillow ever, draw the ugliest horse ever, write the ugliest rhyme ever.
As long as you commit to it.
Go overboard.

Then bury it, toss it, flush it, give it to your dog to chew, to your cat to pee on it, burn it.

Destroy it, even if you grew attached, weirdly, to it, even if you ended up liking whatever it was.

Make it, commit to it, no matter how silly. Then destroy it.

You might want to keep the pieces for a charm, for next time you might feel blocked. Or not.

The proces of making and then destroying something will get you unstuck ;)

When canines forget

Title: When Canines forget.  Or what happens when you let Nursey and Dex dog sit.

Fandom: OMGCheckplease

Pairing: Caitlin Farmer/Chris Chow Derek Nurse/William Poindexter

Rating: G

Word count: 2097

Also on AO3

Chris is doing optional skate and the dog isn’t responding to its name.  They’re not terrible owners.  They feed the dog, they walk him, they give him belly rubs and biscuits (probably more biscuits than he deserves really) and they make sure that when they go on a long drive he gets enough of a gap out the back window to stick his nose through and sniff the breeze.  They also trained the dog, she was there, she remembers reading the book, carrying the treats in her bag, feeling her heart in her throat when she let him off the lead for the first time terrified that it would be the last she saw of him.  And besides, even if she hadn’t trained the dog she definitely gave him a name he recognised.

Except he doesn’t seem to be recognising it anymore.

She can see his ears prick up when she calls him, can hear him thwacking his tail excitedly against the cupboards as he glances between her and a very appealing slipper by the patio door.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for a dog that submissive/ excitement pees. We usually ignore our dog when we get home until she calms down and we can take her outside, but sometimes in the morning, one exciting accidental word in her direction will cause her to pee. We've had her for 2 months and although she does it less and less, it still happens every once in a while. Her obedience classes start in a few weeks and we hope it builds her confidence but do you have any other tips?

Here is an answer to a previous question, found by using the search bar:

Submissive urination can be pretty annoying; The best way to approach it is to try to reduce the amount of “dominant” behaviors that you unknowingly practice. Things like leaning over the dog, making eye contact and giving a loud greeting, petting the top of her head, or approaching her head on. Make sure you do not discipline her for these acts of submission - they aren’t potty accidents, they are white flags (i’m not a threat!) If you punish her, then she will feel like she isn’t submitting hard enough, and it will get worse. She just needs some direction and a confidence boost.

I once knew a Golden Retriever that was a submissive urinator, and eventually I found that it was best to not greet her at all and to wait until she was comfortable with her surroundings before petting her (i.e. be boring!)

Got bit by a dog today at mile 9 of what was supposed to be a 14 mile run. I had passed a couple walking 2 lhasa apso (?) type dogs in the same direction. Good mornings were exchanged and I passed them. Then, once my back was completely turned, one of them launched himself and bit my upper back thigh.

Luckily I had long tights on and it didn’t break the skin, although I was surprised by how much it hurt. I was only a mile from my car so I decided to call it a day. 

It’s not bad but I’m not happy about it. This wasn’t that dog’s first bite, I’m sure of that. The owner was concerned about me but said nothing like- I can’t believe it! or My dog has never done anything like that before!

I don’t know what you do if you have a dog that bites. No one wants to put their dog down. I have a dog that pees in the house on occasion no matter how hard I try, but what am I supposed to do? Kill him? What do you do if your dog bites but you can’t get him to stop? I don’t know but I would say not taking him on a trail packed with runners, walkers and bikers would be a good move.

In a letter to someone recovering from major surgery:
“Look for a different kind of toughness in yourself now. Like dogs that always pee on the same places, we keep going back to the same strengths (and weaknesses) in our selves whenever we’re faced with and trying to overcome new problems. But you are not the same person you were pre-illness, pre-operation. You’re someone else now with different strengths and weaknesses that resulted from that horrible experience. Whether you recognize it or not, this changed you needs a new, realigned perspective to continue. If for some reason a person can’t walk down stairs anymore, rather than waste their energy being fearful of this new limitation, better to spend that energy looking for an elevator. The same fundamental you still exists and always will, but parts have changed or shifted in profound ways that you must now discover and work from. Those old tried and true methods that got you through life in the past are no longer applicable. You should try to discard them, or at least give them less emphasis. Once you recognize and accept that, I think you’ll be on your way to new strength.
—  Jonathan Carroll
The Master of the Master Posts

Got7 Reactions

Got7 Reaction: Falling in love with their best friend.

Got7 Reaction: Their girlfriend is staning (A stan is a STalker+fAN) an Exo member.

Got7 Reaction: When you wake them up with breakfast in bed.

Got7 Reaction: Love at first sight.

Got7 Reaction: A dog pees their leg in public.

Got7 Reaction: Their girlfriend dances to Hyuna Roll Deep at MAMA.

Got7 Reaction: They teach you how to drive.

Got7 Reaction: Before and after having sex for the first time.

Got7 Reaction: They find out that you are getting bullied in school (High school or College)

Got7 Reaction: They find out that your feet hurt because your shoes are worn down.

Got7 Reaction: They try to help you with your sugar addiction.

Got7 Reaction: They find out you like to listen to their heartbeat when you cuddle.

Got7 Reaction: They’re significant other is a huge fan of Pokemon.

Got7 Scenarios

Got7 Scenario: First date.

Got7: Scenario: Their girlfriend gets in a fight with his jealous ex and wins.

Got7 Questions

Age and looks preferences?

Got7 Stories

A New Life (Mafia Au) (Choose Your Own Adventure)

Exo Reactions

Exo Reaction: Being scolded by their parent in front of you.

Exo Reaction: They see a video of you tripping and trying to act like nothing had happened.

Exo Reaction: They find out that their girlfriend is pregnant.

Exo Reaction: A dog pees their leg in public.

Exo Reaction: Their girlfriend is a new member of RANIA and is dancing to Dr. Feel Good.

Exo Reaction: You sprain your ankle and try to walk it off but limp instead.

Exo Reaction: You tell them that you want to learn to drive.

Exo Scenarios

Exo Scenario: Surprising you on your birthday.

Bts Reactions

Bts Reactions: They give you driving lessons.

anonymous asked:

Idk how far into supergirl you are, but I wanted your thoughts on Kara/mon el dynamic. Half the fandom hates him for getting in the way of lena/kara, others think he is sexist and toxic and what not. Mann makes me miss the good old castle fandom where at least 99% of fandom was supportive of caskett. I guess it's just my first experience for a cw type show. I think I'm probably gnna stop getting involved in the fandom

I haven’t had a chance to watch last night’s episode because of some real-life stuff, but I’m gonna say something that’s bound to be unpopular. 

First of all, shipping wars are stupid. Ship who you want, but recognize that not everyone is going to agree with you and not everyone has to love who you love or want them together. But, if you are shipping something the show isn’t pushing, you also have to accept that things didn’t go your way and don’t try to pee in the Cheerios of the fans who like the other ship. Just as the fans who got the ship they wanted don’t need to dance on the ashes of someone else’s ship dreams. Ship who you want, be respectful to the others who don’t. Kum-ba-ya, my Lord. Moving on. 

Now, where do I stand on it? Kara Danvers isn’t into Lena Luthor, and there is nothing in the show that suggests she would be. Lena’s sexuality and her feelings for Kara are totally up for debate, but Kara is a little nerdy puppy dog that loves a boy and just won’t admit it to herself because she’s socially awkward and terrified of all of that stuff. So this concept that Mon-El’s appearance got in the way of Kara/Lena makes about as much sense as people upset last year that Kara’s crush on James got in the way of Kara/Cat Grant. That was also a ship that was never going to sail, and while I don’t begrudge people shipping the characters that they want to ship, I am not on board with being rude and petulant and demeaning towards the people who aren’t on the same bandwagon as you, especially if your ire is solely because the show went a different route than what you wanted it to. 

Now, could Kara change her mind? Sure she could. Supergirl did a pretty great job earlier this season of tackling a character’s (Alex Danvers [Kara’s sister, in case someone here isn’t familiar with the Supergirl canon]) sexuality and dealing with the admission and changes that brought to her life. There’s no reason they couldn’t bring in a character, or write a storyline where Kara finds herself attracted to a woman. But it hasn’t happened yet, and given that she’s been openly attracted to several different men over two seasons, I don’t know that they will ever go there. And that’s fine because not everyone in the world is gay or bisexual. Some people are just heterosexual and never question that or feel a tug towards some of their own gender; that’s also fine. We want entertainment to be more reflective of the world we live in, and in this world, some people are straight, some are gay, some are bisexual. It’s all good. 

Now, Mon-El as a character is meant to be kind of an ass. His whole arc is about coming to Earth, discovering that he’s more than just this frat-boy who loves to party. Is he sexist? At times, but he’s also a character that’s trying to work on himself and be better. He’s also a product of the planet he grew up on and, quite literally, he doesn’t always know better until he learns a lesson. I understand that might rub some people the wrong way, but I am never a fan of characters who are perfect and know all the answers and never carry flaws. Mon-El is flawed, so is Kara. So are Alex and Maggie and Winn and J’onn. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to find someone and be happy, and their flaws or the worst parts of them don’t mean that someone can’t find them attractive ala Kara with Mon-El. So long as he’s trying to be a better person, I can get behind it and goodness knows that the guy has had to eat a lot of crow when it comes to getting his footing and navigating Earth. 

And I do wonder if a lot of the upset about Mon-El is just from people who are mad they aren’t getting the ship they prefer. I’m not involved enough in the Supergirl fandom to make that statement with any certainty, but I’ve been in enough fandoms to know that usually the people who hate a character the most are the people who just think he (or she, whatever the ship may be) isn’t good enough for the other half of the ship and find reasons to support the argument by vilifying a character whose arc might not automatically warrant it.

My advice, Anon? Ignore it. If you like Kara and Mon-El (so do I, so you aren’t alone), who cares what everyone else in the fandom says. Don’t let that keep you from being involved in the fandom if you love the show and want to be apart of it. Just love the ship and don’t apologize for it. Let the haters hate. 

ABC’s of Me

tagged by @creeshtar and @kwamimusings

A - Age: 20

B - Biggest Fear: Never feeling genuine satisfaction as to who i am or what im doing

C - Current Time: 10:58 PM

D - Drink you last had: Pepsi

E - Everyday starts off with: My dog staring at me from the door like “Dude please I have to pee”

F - Favorite Song: At the minute its Tale of the Winter Souls- Kisnou

G - Ghosts, are they real?: I aien’t fudge with you if you don’t fudge with me, real or not I dont ask I just walk away

H - Hometown: Grew up in So Cal.

I - In love with: No one. Crushes are mostly people too far to make it work

J - Jealous of: Better Artists, published authors, my brothers. I try not to be though, and actively work on it

K - Kill Someone: This is threateningly ambiguous 

L - Last Time You Cried: Earlier today while in a men’s clothing store cause i’m dramatic like that, lol

M - Middle Name: Im not into these security question like questions

N - Number of siblings: 3

O - One Wish: To make people smile and inspire them to create new things they might not have otherwise

P - Person you last called/texted: Kay

Q - Question you’re always asked: “Wait do you write or do you draw?” It seems impossible to do both.

R - Reason to Smile: Seeing other people smile. Seeing people improve and learn. Seeing anyone be passionate about something, that light that takes them over and the way they get so excited their words crash together and you want nothing more than to share that with them because it matters to THEM even if it doesnt matter to you. Seeing people work together. Collaborating with others to create new things. Animals. People. Silly people being silly without fear of being judged. Knowing that someone somewhere just had an amazing idea that will change their life and possibly MANY lives

S - Song you last sang: Gold from Once the Musical

T - Time you woke up: 11 am?

U - Underwear Color: Currently? *checks* blue

V - Vacation destination: I want to go to Paris clearly, but also New Zealand and New York. And Austin again. And Seattle. Also Amsterdam. and Venice. and anywhere small also, with a few good restaurants and stunning views. 

W - Worst habit: Apathy. Is that a habit? it feels like one

X - X rays you’ve had: Ankle, wrists, knee, arm, teeth.

Y - Your favorite food: Any kind of sushi with lemon on it and a little bit of a kick of spice. Probably Lemon Pepper Salmon roll specifically. God i love sushi rolls with lemon, oh man im hungry now

Z - Zodiac Sign: Leo my dude. 

tagging: @illustraice @karkake @miraculousturtle @lahiffed @anipwrites

People underestimate dogs so much like that little fella is gonna be your best friend man he’s gonna circle up on your bed when you’re sleepin and lick ur face when you’ve had a really shit day. He’ll try and eat tissues and occasionally pee on the floor and you’re gonna be like gr dog bad boy but then he’ll greet you at the door after a long day at work and u’ll be like his queen and his lord n saviour and then u won’t be so mad he ate your sandwich….you’ll just think wow, I have a best friend I didn’t even know about

Drautos x Reader pt 3

You awaken to the sound of the alarm system to your home arming, the secondary panel being next to your bedroom door. The room is dark, and you can make out the faint street lights invading your bedroom from below. Your mind didn’t register at first, but you finally surmised that it was early–very early. You turned to the clock, 3:17 am. You lay there for a moment trying to shake the cobwebs from your brain.

Where was he going at this hour, you ask yourself. The Kingsglaive had the day off, save for a dinner event with King Regis tonight. Crownsguard too for that matter, so it isn’t like he has a meeting with Cor or Clarus.

You finally decide to get up, go pee, then move your tired body downstairs. The kitchen still smells of coffee, the remnants of a microwaveable breakfast sandwich sit on the counter. At your feet is a little dog begging for the crumbs.

Your body has been through the ringer these past two days and as you stretch, you felt it screaming for relief. Ungodly amounts of PT, 10 battles vs. your fellow Glaives, and a few rough romps with Titus…you decide to clean up his mess later and head to your couch. You turn the tv on to the local news, as you often did (not like you are planning actually watch anything anyway), and curl up in your favorite fuzzy blanket with Titan snugly tucked underneath and lose consciousness immediately.

When you wake again, you assess by the position of the sun coming through your windows that it is around 10am. You feel nauseous, and stay still for several minutes. You can’t remember the last time you slept like that and you are grateful for the chance to rest your body.

You sit up slowly and Titan runs straight for the door. Poor kid must have been holding it for some while now. “I know, imma gonna get dressed and we’ll go ok” you say to him as you dart upstairs to put some clothes on. A simple athleisure outfit will have to do as anything else would be over-doing for this simple task. You grab your phone, a bottle of water and you are out the door.

The park is off-limits now, so you take Titan the opposite direction. The first patch of grass you see, he does his business and begins his ritual of sniffing every other dog that has been in the area for the past month.

You take the opportunity to check your phone. 23 messages. Someone was on a bender last night, you think.

Crowe: What are you wearing to dinner tomorrow? I don’t have shit! Can I borrow something?
Nyx: Man, you really fucked him up! Nice work glaive!
Titus: I’m sorry please come home.
Pelna: This overnight guard shift is bullshit!
Titus: where did you go? Come home.
Crowe: I remember you wearing a really sexy nude colored dress to a ball last year, maybe that? Still have it?
Nyx: I think he actually believes you are Yojimbo! 😂
Libertus: (to group) need…whiskey.
Crowe: if you don’t want to loan me the dress, you can say.
Nyx (to group) I got Scotch, but no whiskey.
Libertus: (to group) is that what I asked for hero?
Pelna: (to group) I don’t have either because I’m in hell!
Tredd: (to group) I got both but keeping it all for myself.
Libertus: (to group) greedy ginger bastard
Pelna: (to group) LOL
Crowe: (to group) Shut the fuck up! Some of us are trying to sleep!
Nyx: (to group) where is y/n
Tredd: (to group) silence your phone
Libertus: (to group) probably giving the king a bj with her purdy Tenebrae mouth.
Crowe: it still vibrates
Tredd: you must really love this then
Nyx: Ohhhhhh No you didn’t
Crowe: fuck you Tredd stop or I’ll put your balls in a magic vice next training.
Titus: didn’t want to wake my angel. I love you.

You’re pissing yourself with laughter at the insanity of your friends, and are irritated at Titus for not telling you where he went or when he would be back. You assess that his text was to sent to curtail your annoyance.

You start firing off the texts.

To Crowe: of course you can wear it, though the chest area may be a little tight on you! 😘

To Nyx: thanks friend, it always feels good to do good work!

To KG group: you guys are nuts! I ❤️u! Except Lib…we’ll talk tonight.

Titus: where are you baby?

Crowe calls immediately and the two of you set up a time to meet at her place so you can get ready together. She initially wants to meet at your place so she can browse your closet for options, but you make a couple of excuses and agree to bring the options to her. You scoop up Titan and head back inside.

You have just over five hours before meeting Crowe. She lives in the same area of Insomnia as Nyx and Lib, which is close to the Citadel. It will take you 30 minutes to get there, so you have to leave your place in 4 ½ hours. You decide to hit up your closet, since you haven’t even contemplated your evening attire.

It was custom for the men to wear their Kingsglaive uniforms to official engagements, but a woman in hers is just ghastly. You had a large selection of gowns and cocktail dresses from your life in Tenebrae, and a few that Titus had bought you. You first pulled the dress that Crowe had specifically requested, then inspected the remaining. You pulled two black dresses that you thought would fit Crowe perfectly and a burnt orange one that you thought she would love.

You check your phone. No response from Titus.

You send him another message:
I’m meeting Crowe at her place at 4:00 to get ready. Will you be home by then?

You throw your phone on the bed with a sigh, and feel your body temperature rising. You turn back to your closet, and pull out two cocktail dresses. One red, one midnight blue. You decide that six dresses is enough options for two women and zip them up in a garment bag. You proceed to pull the matching shoes and stuff them in a duffle bag with your makeup and assorted nail polishes.

You send another message:
Baby are you ok? I’m starting to worry.

Titus ignoring your texts was par for the course when you knew he was at work. He kept his personal phone on silent while inside the Citadel for obvious reasons. He couldn’t exactly have his phone chiming if he was in a meeting with Clarus or Cor or holy shit, The King. Today, however, you were 90% sure that he wasn’t at the Citadel which was the annoying part.

You decide to take a shower and do your hair so you can focus on taming Crowe’s thick mop when you got to her place.

You emerge from the shower and check your phone. Nothing. You contemplated texting his work phone but thought better of it, remembering the argument that ensued last time.

You finally finish straightening and styling your hair in the most elaborate braided scheme you have ever conjured. The style allows your length to fall beyond your shoulders, while the braids keep it away from your face. It looks damn good and you are pretty damn proud of yourself.

Your phone didn’t make a sound the entire time you were fighting with your hair. Now you are pissed. You stare at your phone, refusing to pick it up or send another text to Titus. You look around the bedroom and your closet catches your gaze. You don’t know where he has been all day, but you are certain he will make it to dinner tonight, and a plan to make him suffer unfolds in your brain.

You open the closet door and pull an asymmetrical burgundy-wine colored dress out. You last wore it to the aforementioned graduation party, the night you fucked Gladiolus Amicitia. He didn’t know that small detail, but Titus forbade you from wearing it again, as in his words, “every man there got an instant erection” when they saw you that night–including himself. This thing has “sinner” written all over it. Plunging neckline and back, the highest point of the skirt about three inches from your slit. Perfect. You are happy that you had the smarts to hang the matching panties and backless push-up bra with the dress.

You text Crowe that you are on your way and scoop up the bags and your purse and bolt for the door. You are concerned about him, but seeing as though this is not his first disappearing act, you find yourself leaning more and more towards angry and you don’t want to chance meeting him in the garage.

You arrive at Crowe’s and haul everything up three fights of stairs. She must have heard you stomping, because she opens the door just as you put your hand up to knock. You walk into the small apartment, and see Nyx and Lib sitting on the couch in their KG unis, minus their jackets. You drop everything in a pile and launch yourself onto Libertus. “My Tenebrae mouth”? you yell as you punch him in the shoulder with everything you have. Maneuvering yourself to suffocate him into the couch cushions, you take position on top of him and growl “My Tenebrae mouth”? “What does that even mean Libertus”? “Sorry, I’m so sorry” Libertus begs for you to release him.
To Nyx’s delight you punch him in the same spot again, praying to The Six that he has a horrific bruise by dinner time.

“Enough, children” comes Crowe’s annoyed voice. You slap Libertus lightly on his cheek as you jump off of him, eliciting a giggle from his BFF. Crowe helps you pick everything up and the two of you disappear into her bedroom.

When you both emerge, Libertus and Nyx look stunned. The times they get to see you like this are few and far between. Jaws dropping, eyes popping, you are confident that your choices of the burgundy and burnt orange dresses were on point. The boys are speechless. Crowe breaks the silence “Alright enough gawking, lets go get this over with” she says with pure disdain. She is a stunning beauty, but never appreciates people pointing it out. You take one last look at your phone and throw it onto Crowe’s couch upon exit.

Your crew arrives at the Citadel 30 minutes early. You are led to the Royal Banquet Room and it is already 70% full. You scan the room like a sniper looking for your target. No Titus. No Cor.

“Hey guys, can I take your picture” a sweet kid asks, startling you. “Sure” Nyx replies as the four of you get close. ::flash:: “Thanks, love the lighting in here”! “You guys Glaives”? He asks darting his eyes between Lib and Nyx. “Yes, all four of us” you retort with clear annoyance causing the kid to blush. “Right, sorry, of course” he replies shyly.

“What’s your name”, Crowe asks the kid. “Oh, uh sorry, yeah, um, I’m Prompto”.
“Nice to meet you Prompto, so where’s the bar”? He points in the general direction of the bar, mesmerized by Crowe’s tits squished in a dress made for your much less ample frame. You chuckle at his awkwardness and walk away with your friends.

On your way to get your liquid courage to face Cor, you exchange pleasantries with various dignitaries, Crownsguard members, and Glaives. Every one of them, except the few women, would fail the eye color test if challenged. The four of you each covertly take a shot, order your drink of choice, bring them to the massive marble table in the center of the room, and take your seats. You sit in the middle of the table, boys on one side, girls on the other, directly facing each other. Crowe on your left, Nyx directly across from you. You know from experience this is the best strategy to avoid awkward conversations with the King or Clarus, or being the one to have to wake the prince.

A small delicate bell rings and the crowd converges upon the table. Everyone takes a seat and you wink at Nyx for being the genius of your seating arrangement. It is 7:28 and the King is about to enter, but still no sign of Titus or Cor.

The table is abuzz with various chatter when a bellowing voice announces his Majesty’s entrance. In unison, 70 people push their chairs back and stand in deafening silence. Titus and Cor enter first, followed by the King. You feel like an idiot for not even contemplating that they would enter with King Regis, since this dinner is in the honor of the Crownsguard and Kingsglaive.

You can’t take your eyes off him. He is dressed in his all-black uniform with silver accents, the one you immediately want to peel off of him every time you see it. Touché, darling, touché. You decide the best strategy for tonight is to shoot him darts as an unmistakable silent communication that you are not happy with him.

Cor is the yin to Titus’ yang. He is in his simple Crownsguard fatigues and you feel tears begin to form when he scans the table and locks eyes on you. There is no smile from him, no encouragement, just a deadpan stare into your soul. Your head immediately drops.

The King takes his place at the head of the table and gives a short speech about Titus, Cor, and their respective corps. He touts them as great leaders and heaps praise upon each of them. He speaks of an undisputed truth among the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard alike; each soldier in each division would happily give their life for either of these men, because the soldiers know that Titus and Cor would do the same for any of them. You feel proud to be able to say he is your love, if only to yourself. You shed more than few tears, and are grateful that you aren’t the only one to do so.

The King finishes and room erupts in applause. Titus and Cor, both equally uncomfortable with public praise, tell everyone to sit. The table continues to stand and applaud, as the King does. After several moments, Clarus places his hand on the King’s shoulder and tells him to sit, garnering laughter and another round of applause for Clarus. As you prepare to take your seat, you make eye contact with Titus, but he quickly looks away.

The meal is seven courses and by the fourth course, people are getting antsy. You don’t sit for this long unless you are in a transport being toted to this battle or back to the Citadel following one. At least in the transports you can stand and stretch. “My ass is starting to hurt” Crowe whispers into your ear. You turn her direction, give her a grin and a knowing nod. You glance past her to see the people at the other end of the table, and see Gladiolus staring at you grinning from ear to ear. You ignore him and quickly turn around again to the King’s side of the table. You immediately regret your choice of attire.

You continue to make small talk between courses with your neighbors, while stealing glances every now and again at Titus and Cor but your eyes never connect. The final course arrives and everyone huffs the fancy sorbet down in an attempt to get out of there faster. Finally the King stands, wishes everyone well, and informs everyone that he is “too old to keep up with you kids, so I will leave them to you”, grinning at Titus and Cor. The two leaders look at each other in feigned horror eliciting a soft chuckle from their audience. The entire table stands once again, and The King makes his exit.

Cor announces that since everyone has tomorrow off, Titus and himself have arranged for an after party on the Citadel rooftop veranda. The room erupts in cheers once more, and the group begins to file out of the room with many filing up a massive fight of stairs. Along the way, you try to make amends with Luche and ask how he is. “Fine, good, yeah” he responds, clearly embarrassed by your question.

The crowd stops, waiting for the door to be opened. You look around you and see the Prince directly behind you, his face nearly in your ass. The photographer kid is next to him, and that bastard Gladio directly behind him. There is a fourth guy in their group, a tall blonde who seems to be the one keeping all of them in line. You can hear him whispering to Prince Noctis, telling him to back off your ass. You are grateful. You wonder to yourself if this is the group you would be placed with if you do indeed move to the Crownsguard. Your entire body shakes at the thought, and you feel queasy. You quickly turn back and see Nyx and Lib shooting darts at Gladio.

You love how protective these guys are of yourself and Crowe, and you give them an appreciative grin.

The staircase is slowly becoming a sweltering sauna when finally the door opens. 40, maybe 50 dinner guests converge onto the rooftop seeking cool air. You see no sign of the two men you wish most to avoid, so you take in the scenery. The rooftop is lit up tonight. The massive fish tank with Leviathan’s mini-me glows brightly alongside various orbs, cascading water lamps, and the glow of The Crystal.

You surmise that there are about 15 tables throughout the veranda and the four of you choose one in what you hope will be a quiet corner. Nyx volunteers to fetch the group’s drinks and races off. Lib announces that he has to “take a leak” and disappears somewhere on the other side of the rooftop, leaving you and Crowe alone.

“You ok girl”, she asks “you’ve been uncharacteristically tight-lipped tonight”. Apparently you weren’t doing as good of a job hiding your angst as you thought. “Fine, yeah” you respond staring at the silk tablecloth. “Your lying” she retorts, lifting your chin, forcing you to look at her. “What’s going on with you”? “Nothing, really, I am fine” you state with a false smile. She’s stares deep into your soul for several moments and the tears begin to well up in your eyes. Crowe grabs you by the hand and leads you towards the rooftop railing for privacy.

“Talk to me” she pleads. “I can’t Crowe, please stop asking” your gaze is at your feet, and you almost wish this floor had rocks. “Is it a guy, it’s always a fucking guy” she states in a disdainful tone. You remain silent as she stares you up and down.
“It is” she sighs. “Why didn’t you tell me you were fucking someone”? “It’s moved way past the fucking stage Crowe”. The tears begin to flow and you turn your gaze to the city lights of Insomnia. “I love him”.

Right on cue, his presence is announced. The soldiers he commands greet him with whistles and hollers but you don’t turn around. Crowe announces that she’ll be right back and returns moments later with your drinks and some napkins. You chug your gin fizz in one go and a wide-eyed Crowe hands you hers. You pause the debauchery long enough to dry your face. You chance a glance in his direction and he is seated at a table with Tredd, Luche, and Axis, just staring at you. You think he believes that you may be spilling your guts to Crowe now. You quickly turn your back to him and chug Crowe’s drink.

“Altius, may I have a word with y/n”. You freeze. Your stomach sinks and your heart begins to race as if it is trying to push its way out of your chest and make a run for it. The moment you have been dreading all night is here.


“Of course” Crowe stutters. You can hear the click of her shoes as she walks away. Cor stands close to you, but turned the opposite direction, possibly looking at Titus. “This isn’t the time or place for a heart to heart, so I’m going to keep this short and simple” he says in a steady tone. Turning his gaze in an attempt to make eye contact with you, “There will always be a place for you in the Crownsguard, should you wish it”. There is a long pause. “Thank you” you respond, your voice cracking. “Will you be at your session tomorrow”? You turn to face him, “of course”. “Good, we can talk more then” he says turning to walk towards the Crownsguard group.

After several minutes you go to your table and let them know you are heading to the ladies room. Crowe follows. You can feel multiple sets of eyes watching
you–including Titus–when really what you desire most is to disappear into the landscape. You reach the restroom, lock yourself in a stall, and do your business. When you come out to wash your hands, you look into the mirror. You are definitely feeling the effects of the two gin fizzes. “Pretty good for someone who was crying just 20 minutes ago” Crowe says with a cheerful tone. You smile at her “Thanks, it’s my Tenebrae mouth, it drowns out all other imperfections”. You both laugh and head back out.

As you re-enter the party, you can see things are starting to get out of control. Axis has decided that he wants to challenge Lib at arm wrestling, Luche and Tredd are having an extremely loud argument over who the strongest Astral is, and Pelna is challenging Nyx to a warping contest where they must warp from the roof of the Citadel, to an adjacent one, and back again. You roll your eyes and sit next to Pelna when you see that Gladio and his boy band have overtaken your table.

You look at Titus. He has removed his armor and is sitting there in a tight long-sleeve shirt that shows off his built physique. He feels you looking at him and taps his hand three times on the table which has become his secret code for FOLL-OW-ME.

You give him a one minute lead, then scan the rooftop. Everyone else is busy with someone else so you walk briskly in the direction he walked. You enter the hall where the bathrooms are, and see an open door that you would swear was closed before.

You enter timidly, not knowing if this is where he disappeared to. Suddenly the door closes and there is an arm at your waist turning your whole body around in a single movement and pushing your back against the wall. Titus places his left leg between yours and wraps your head into the powerful grip of his hands and descends upon your lips. His sweet tongue swipes your lips, begging for entrance.

You are so weak, you think to yourself and open your mouth fully to reciprocate. You haven’t seen or talked to him since last night, and your body needs him. You bring your hands to rest softly on his pecs while grinding your sex against his thigh. You blissfully drown in the movement of your mouths clashing together. He breaks away and breathlessly places his forehead on yours and stares deeply into your eyes.

You pull your courage from somewhere within the depths of your body.

“Where were you today” you say in an accusatory tone. The look he gives you is one of pure guilt. He gently kisses your swollen lips and lets go. “I was busy” he says taking a few steps back, his tone matter-of-fact. “Busy”? you retort. “Too busy to send a simple text letting me know that you’re ok”? “I’ve told you SO MANY times y/n not to ask me about my business” he says, beginning to raise his voice. “Yes, you have, but you keep disappearing on me Titus, what am I supposed to think”? “It doesn’t matter what you think” he shoots back, anger beginning to rise.

“Oh, so yesterday you love me, today I don’t matter” you say quietly, as you can hear people in the hallway.

“I didn’t say that…why do you twist my words”?

“You just said that what I think doesn’t matter to you, yes or no”?

“That’s not what I meant, you know that”

“Do I”? “You are gone and out of communication for…12…17 hours today”. “Two weeks ago it was 22, time before that, 19”. You get up and into his face as much as you can to a man of 6'4". “Riddle me this Titus, if I disappeared consistently like that, and came home and told you that you were completely out of line to ask me about it, what exactly would you think”!

He turns towards you in a rage that you have never seen from him. His hand goes flat against your abdomen and he forces your body to slam back against the wall behind you. With a low growl, he pounds his fist next to your head, cracking the drywall, his nose touching yours.

“You have no idea what I am dealing with or what I am trying to do” his face red and beginning to sweat. “Be grateful that you get to live in your little world of Anaks and goblins because I assure you that there are far worst daemons in this world”.

Seeing your tears, and feeling the fear he has placed into your quivering body, he pauses and takes two steps back.

“And they’re coming”

anonymous asked:

Hey!! If you can, could you do a scenario on shopping/going to the mall with Jungkook would be like. Thanks in advance :-))

here you go babe i hope you like it!! sorry it took long, i actually wrote this at work so if there’s some spelling // grammar stuff well

Originally posted by sotaehyung

  • this was requested and it sounds really fun so I’m gonna try to make it as fun as I imagine !!
  • like I said in previous posts, I imagine jungkook as being someone who likes to go out on dates and doesn’t really like to stay at home so mall shopping isn’t all that rare for you
  • there’s a mall ten minutes from your apartment but it has like two good stores and it’s just kinda nasty
  • so you drive like an hour closer to the city to the big mall everyone flocks to
  • it’s usually like a weekend trip like if jungkook has no practice that day or has a shorter practice you guys go down to the mall
  • usually the other boys get in your business though and if you’re going they all wanna go too!!
  • so jin is all “we’ll just ride in the car okay once we get to the mall we will leave you alone”
  • and it’s jin in his cool mom suv and namjoon sits up front with him and the second row is you jeongguk and taehyung and the back row oh buddy yoongi is smashed between hoseok and chim
  • and jungkook keeps his hand on your thigh and he sits in the middle cause he wants you all to himself like sorry taehyung
  • and jin turns on the radio and it’s some mom music like idk what do moms even like oh Michael Bublé
  • and namjoon just glares and puts in his mix tape which gets yoongi and hoseok whining
  • and jungkook is like hiding his face in the crook of your neck best he can cause he’s sure his hyungs are embarrassing him in front of you on purpose
  • and then hoseok starts singing wicked v loudly and he’s elphie and then chim joins in as glinda and they’re singing/screaming popular
  • and just to tease kookie a bit you start singing along with them and kookie just whines and kisses your face to try and get you to stop
  • and it’s a wild ride it’s always a wild ride hoseok always makes seokjin pull over every five minutes cause he has to pee again
  • yoongi falls asleep
  • namjoon realized he forgot his wallet
  • taehyung wants to get a kids meal at McDonald’s so he can give the toy to one of his dogs
  • and jeongguk has become super duper clingy and you kinda just ooh buddy
  • but you finally get there and it’s been like point five seconds since you parked and jeongguk is dragging you away from everyone else
  • he gets kinda excited when he goes to the mall he’s smiling and he’s walking fast and you’re like plz your legs are too long
  • you guys always get a snack first
  • there’s this cookie place in the top level of the mall and the cookies are to die for and the best kind are the sugar cookies and you two order like an entire bucket full and just casually eat them as you walk around the mall
  • sometimes you’ll spice it up and get a smoothie or something and jeongguk will be rude and he’ll sip yours every two seconds and like drink more than half of it
  • you two always hold hands and your fingers are interlocked and he swings your arms back and forth
  • and he’s gotta be low key about it so he a beanie and some dune glasses and people near you guys are oblivious af
  • but if someone asks for an autograph or something he’ll always kiss your cheek or forehead or whatever before talking to the fans just to show everyone that you’re his and he’s yours
  • and the fans are so chill in your area seriously some of the biggest sweethearts in the world
  • and occasionally a few will ask for a pic with you or something and you what ??!!?!?
  • and one day y'all are up in the mall and this small lil a.r.m.y comes up and she’s flustered and shy and she’s so tiny and she kinda waved and jeongguk nearly dies cause she’s so small
  • and she goes up and she’s all “can you say hi to namjoon for me he’s my favorite”
  • and jeongguk is “sure anything for a cutie like you!”
  • and then she kinda “are you two married?”
  • and jeongguk goes beet red and he’s stammering and playing with his hands cause how do you even??
  • and you smile and kiss his cheek “not yet but soon sweetie”
  • and her eyes light up an she runs off to her mom all happy
  • jeongguk reminds me of someone who would be like pretty big on shopping if you were looking for the right things
  • he reminds me of a shoe person
  • don’t like y'all know what I’m talking about
  • and so he drags you into like those sports shoe stores where they play hardcore rap and have like flat brims and Jordan’s and jerseys and what not
  • and he tries on the same pair of shoes but like in fifty coke variations and he makes you decide which one you like best
  • and then you pick and he “actually I really like the gray ones though I think I’ll get them”
  • and you face palm and groan
  • and then he goes into something like Payless but more high end than Payless
  • and he wants something like vans but not vans he wants to be unique you know??
  • are air walks vans like the big bulky air walks?? not the knock off converse and not the high tops but the skater shoes cause that’s what he would get and he would get some strange ass color like plum purple
  • and you kinda what you don’t skate
  • and he glares “don’t ruin my dream”
  • and so he buys the clunky old air walks and he’s so proud of them
  • and he has like seven bags of shoes
  • idk I don’t go shopping a lot and there’s no men in my family so I can’t give you specific clothing stores he’d like oops
  • but he goes into like young adult stores (namjoon and yoongi still shop in old ppl stores and he just??)
  • but they’re like age approvals stores
  • but you go in and you don’t even need to ask cause you seem him darting towards the white tee shirts and you kinda “babe nO”
  • and he’s smiling all innocent that cute bunny smile and he just “but I don’t have one with a pocket o the right side like this see see??”
  • and you’re?? “you have seveny two white t shirts how many more could you even need??”
  • and he hugs the shirts to his chest “but you don’t understand, I NEED them!”
  • and there’s not really much he can do cause he’s whipping out his wallet and slamming his cash on the table (mama jin won’t let him have a credit card oh no)
  • and you begrudgingly look on cause that boy isn’t gonna listen anytime soon
  • so the next shop you go into (probably for ripped jeans rip haha get it) you kinda pull him aside
  • “look at this plaid! don’t you think it’d look cute on you?”
  • and he just narrows his eyes “um?? no why would I even think of wearing that??”
  • and you groan and whack his arm “am I dating a ten year old??”
  • and then you pull him over to another section of the store “well how about this jacket thing? I think they’re in right now”
  • and he kinda “do you even know me?”
  • and so he gets his jeans and you’re defeated at this point
  • but then you go into all the stores you like
  • idk what people even shop at so like insert your favorite store here
  • and you’re taking your time and your examining all the clothes and jeongguk is at your side like a lost puppy
  • you probably bump into him like seventy two million times, that’s how close he is to you
  • and he offers salty fashion tips “please that color with your complexion??”
  • and you kinda “says the boy who only wears white!!”
  • and he sulks and promises to keep his mouth closed
  • but then he sees something particularly ugly and he “girls fashion is so weird”
  • and he holds up one of those shirts that has like the entire back torn out and he just kinda “you think i’m gonna pay forty bucks for this please it’s not even a whole shirt”
  • and you roll your eyes at him bcuz brat
  • but he’s really supportive when you try things on like he’ll be honest but never in a harsh way like if he doesn’t think something fits right he’ll straight up tell you but then add something like “but i think that dress over there would really show off your figure well, you should go for that one babe!”
  • but then if you stay in a certain store for too long he would whine and complain and tug on your sleeve and he’s using his puppy eyes and complaining that you really have spent far too long staring at the same three pair of earrings
  • and you kinda “wow sound like anyone else i know hmm baby?”
  • you guys probably duck in every single shop in the entire place cause you crave time together you have out of the house and besides they look interesting??
  • the one that you can never drag that boy out of is the gamestop
  • like he has to look at every single game title there is and then he has to look at the DS even tho he has the 3DS already and like you don’t get better than that
  • and he buys you some games to play he probably buys you harvest moon and cute games like that
  • he carries all your bags by the way
  • like he carries all of it and it’s a breeze and he just shows off his muscles in the process cause he’s rude
  • oh
  • he’s one of those people who awkwardly freezes when those kiosk people approach him like instead of running the other direction or saying no like other people do he panics and he ends up getting lotion rubbed on his hand or perfume sprayed on him and he just !! and you have to drag him away from the scary vendors
  • he’s not okay for like seven years and you have to go buy him an ice cream and kiss his face until he feels better
  • he likes to ride the escalator elf style and embarrass the heck out of you and one day you tell him his pants are gonna split wide open but he doesn’t believe you at all
  • if you bump into the other boys by accident kook runs he sprints and you just watch him go like “oh hey jin, hey nams, did you guys find anything for your apartment?”
  • and jin smiles “Yah we got a lamp, after the one namjoon broke!! how’s kook doing, is he still running from his problems??”
  • every time you go out to the mall he buys you something cute when you aren’t looking like if he notices that you were staring at a certain pair of earrings boom he’s buying them. you liked that blouse ahaha he’s gonna buy that too when you’re off chatting it up with jin and namjoon
  • and he acts like nothing happened he stuffs it in his bag of shoes or something
  • oh also this is another point if you guys walk past victoria’s secret he immediately covers his eyes and looks straight down and you have to guide him along and his face is crimson and you just tease him about it
  • it would be a lot of fun though and an adventure every time you went out

Honestly I want more realistic sheith headcanons 

  • Keith curled up against Shiro half asleep and only to be woken up by Shiro’s stomach suddenly grumbling. 
  • “Hungry?” “Yeah. Want me to bring you something too?” “Nah, I’m good.”
  • Keith sprawling out on the bed whenever Shiro leaves it because while he adores snuggling with his bf he likes being able to stretch out on the bed. Shiro coming back to bed and paying Keith in kisses and affectionate headbumps and face squishes in order to get his spot back. 
  • “I’m not moving right now.” 
  • Shiro giving the more exaggerate sigh and flopping down on Keith who bursts into laughter. 
  • Keith asking for bites of Shiro’s food as soon as he brings it into the room.
  • “I thought you weren’t hungry?” “I wasn’t until I saw what you brought back.” 
  • Long silences where they’re just soaking up the atmosphere and maybe patting the other absentmindedly and then the most random questions imaginable or questioning the future. 
  • “Do you want kids?” “Maybe? Let’s start with a cat or dog first.” “As long as it’s not a bird it’s fine.” 
  • Mornings together where one is brushing their teeth and the other is in the bathroom too and they’re having a casually conversation while one of them is peeing. 
  • Morning breath kisses and grumbled “your breath smells” before the other proceeds to plaster their face with more kisses. 
  • Morning wood where it’s not inherently sexual. 
  • Trying to be real Adults™ and cooking instead of eating out constantly or relying on their friends for food and dealing with bills and junk and calling Shiro’s parents like “can you tell us how mortgages work because we don’t know any of this”
  • Falling asleep curled up together and of of them suddenly has a body spasm and jerks away and both of them are now awake it’s 2am might as well watch infomercials and trash tv 
  • Going shopping and talking about all the stuff they’re going to get for their Future House

anonymous said: Nigou being mischievous and cockblocking GOM+Kagami and their s/o when the couple’s out on a date?? (Their s/o understands and secretly plays along to tease the guys) Thank you and happy 2016! c:

Sorry for the delay! I hope you still enjoy this lmao. Also, I apologize for the short answers ahead!

Akashi: He’d actually let it slide for the first few minutes since you were enjoying teasing him. Little did you know that he was actually playing along at first, as well. However, it would come to a point in where he’d have enough of the little dog cockblocking so he’d simply tell, “thank you for your time, Nigou. (f/n) and I really enjoyed your company, but I hope you wouldn’t mind if I’ll return you to your owner already since it’s getting pretty dark and (f/n) and I should better get going.”

Aomine: He’d find it very annoying since he couldn’t really start making a move on you. He kept on trying to put his arm around your waist, but Nigou would always find a way to walk in between the both of you. From time to time, he’d scold the little dog and you’d just glare at him and hiss, “Daiki! The dog is just being sweet!” The rest of the day would be full of him complaining (in a very cute way) about how frustrating Tetsu’s dog was and how mean of you to actually take the side of the dog instead of him, your boyfriend.

Kise: He’d kept on whining and and complaining like there’s no tomorrow. At first, he’d try to hide his annoyance since it seemed like you were having a really good time with his Kurokocchi’s dog. But then, he’d notice that it was as if you were already forgetting his presence. So in order to win back your attention, the blonde acted like Nigou and kept on asking you, “(l/n)cchi! Who’s better? Who’s cuter? Me right?! I’m the better dog! Arf! Woof!” And he’d even stick out a tongue at Nigou. Childish it really was and you’d end up losing this game since Kise was being in his attention-seeking self once again and you knew you’d never have anything to win against that.

Kuroko: He’d be so disappointed because Nigou was supposed to be his wing man, but the dog ended up being a huge cockblock in the date he was planning for weeks already. Like everyone else, he’d try to be patient at first since you were obviously having fun with the little dog. Once his patience completely runs out, Kuroko would be really straightforward and say, “Nigou, I think it’s better we drop you off to our house now. (l/n)-san and I still have a long day to go. I hope you understand.”

Midorima: He’d never forget about Nigou peeing in the cart of the rickshaw Takao pulls. So when he saw you carrying the dog, he knew right away that it was a bad omen. The moment you arrived on the spot where he was waiting for you, he’d immediately drag you back to Kuroko’s house and return the little dog to his teammate, saying, “Kuroko, we don’t need the company of your dog. Goodbye.” You’d just simply giggle at how he tried to prevent your little plan with Nigou. You’d be slightly disappointed at first since you wouldn’t be able to pull off the little tricks you were planning, but knowing how Midorima immediately made a move to have some alone time with you was enough to make up for all the wasted plans.

Murasakibara: He wouldn’t try to care…at first, but it got really annoying since it came to a point that you started feeding the dog and he’d wish that he was Nigou. He’d then start whining about how unnecessary the dog’s presence was and it would be better if Kurochin would pick him up already.  

Kagami: “(F/N), I HOPE YOU WOULDN’T MIND IF I’D CALL KUROKO TO PICK HIS DOG UP. I KNOW YOU’RE HAVING FUN WITH HIM, BUT YOU KNOW MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DOGS, RIGHT?” he’d say, trying his best to calm himself down despite the horrified expression plastered on his face.