I miss you. I’ve just woken up. But, you aren’t here.
I made us coffee. I take mine the way you do yours. Or, used to. I think.
It’s strange – I need to breathe and I’m having a cigarette. I panic when I remember that you aren’t with me. I know this. But, I try not to think about it.
I am watching the smoke. I wish I could exhale you like the smoke from my cigarette.
I want to cry. I don’t like telling people why you left. But, they ask. It makes me feel more flawed and empty than I am, or want to be.
I never smoked inside, but I can still smell the incense you used around the house. It continues to haunt me. I light every cigarette inside with the hope of not having the incense linger.
There’s no one to ask if I’m stressed. I take a drag, slowly. If you were here and you asked, I would say it’s you. But, you aren’t.
The past won’t go up in smoke. I try. I have tried, but I keep failing. Staring at the smoke.
Sometimes you just need someone by your side. And you trust them when they tell you that they love you. I trusted you. It meant something. And now, it’s all gone up in smoke.
I couldn’t finish the cigarette at first. But, I couldn’t leave things incomplete. I lit it again. It tastes like the concrete on which I put it out. Perhaps, that’s what we would be like – soulless.
Things come though at the eleventh hour. But, not here. Not today. All I do is wait.
There is no darkness, I tell myself. I fear myself now. Not the known past or the unknown future. But, I’m just lying to myself. I exhale.
What I do know is that even in the company of others, I feel lonely. It is then that I ask again.
I ask, for loneliness to be my friend. But, that’s not what I want. I want you here.
My lips sealed off from the truth. My words, my lies, my reality. I exhale, but I cannot escape.
The distractions, still there. The blank stares continue. Love is only a word now. I see it in other people. I hear it in others words.
Three a.m. again. The effects have worn off. One hour is nothing. I can feel the silence. Interrupted, by my own thoughts. I exhale.
You continue to evade me. I cannot help but be consumed in this madness. In your madness.
Can a mirror ever lie? Would it? The smoke absorbed by the mirror. Fading before my eyes. Sometimes, it’s that simple isn’t it? Just watching something disappear before your own eyes.
A prisoner in my own body. This need – unexplainable. Fuck, even I cannot comprehend where we broke into countless fragments.
I dream of the days when we did things together. Now, I just wish to be able to hear from you. All I hold on to now are memories. Even they seem to be slipping away.
Too afraid to speak in this darkness. I don’t want to hear emptiness or my own voice echoing. I want to hear you whispering in my ears.
I exhale. Slowly. Wishing for the fire that was once us to not be extinguished. But, it was over. It was over well before the day you walked out. It was over well before I sat in silence.
If I knew…If I knew where it went wrong would it be different today? The cigarette twirling in my hand, waiting to be lit, knowing that it will be stubbed out.
Another day, another cigarette. I take you in with every breath. Only to exhale again.
You will be fourteen when you find a cigarette tucked into the asphalt of your neighbor’s drive way. You will pick it up, run home, and smoke it on your back porch. Your mother will find you, scold you, and tell you that she loves you. That night you watch movies with her until you fall asleep.
You will be sixteen when it becomes a habit. You will smoke everyday on your walk home from school, and on the days that you don’t, it’ll be because you snuck out of class to do so. You develop twitches, such as touching the pads of your fingers to each other, or bouncing your leg. You put up with it when you think of your mother.
You will be seventeen when she finds you with another cigarette in your fingers. She tells you you look just like your father.
You will be eighteen when you hold the chubbiest baby you’ve ever seen. He has the blackest eyes, and the tiniest hands, his hair sticks up in tiny puffs that you fail to slick down with your fingertips, and he bounces on his mother’s lap every time you walk into the room. He is one year old. He is the brightest thing you will ever see. When you pick him up for the first time, he touches his hands to your cheeks and it’s the only thing that will make you smile that whole week.
You are nineteen when you sign up the same child for daycare. There are no more stray cigarettes for you to pick up on sidewalks, there are no more ashtrays, and there are no more creaky floor boards for you to sneak by for a late night smoke, there is just you and this child. You will never pick up another cigarette again.
Hi angels! This is actually one of my most common asks so I thought I would just make a master post of all my tips and tricks to beat the munchies bc boy, they can be demanding. But, please note these are not tips to help you starve yourself!! If you’re hungry even if you’re high, EAT. If you’re hungry but you specifically only want to eat a crunchwrap supreme with a side of tacos covered in hot sauce you probably got a lil case of the munchies. That being said, here’s all I got to avoid eating king size candy bars like you’re at an endless buffet while you’re stoned:
🍬 first, know what you’re smoking. I know this one is common sense for most smokers but if you’re new to smoking you might not know!! Indicas are more likely to give you munchies while sativas might even suppress your appetite (this is in my experience, google has stuff arguing for both so it may depend on the person) Not sure what you have? Indicas are usually super dank, they have shorter leaves and give you that couch locked feeling. Sativas smell kind of spicier to me and not as heavy of a smell, they have taller, skinny leaves and they typically make you more energized.
🍬 know your trigger foods, avoid them while you’re stoned. I always think, “hey, I’m stoned, when else am I going to eat this?” But then I proceed to eat everything else in my house and favor in some Thai food and insomnia cookies followed by the rest of said trigger food I originally promised I wouldn’t eat all at once. just don’t do it, bad idea.
🍬 I know the munchies can be unbearable but in my experience as long as I don’t eat when I’m munching, and only when I’m genuinely hungry, eventually the urge to binge goes away. I still get munchies from time to time but overall, I don’t even think about eating while I’m stoned too much anymore (unless ofc I’m hungry, then I eat what I planned myself for the day) but because I haven’t binged high in a while, I don’t even think to binge while I’m high. Now, here are some ways to combat the munchies so you can get to the point where you can actually resist eating your entire pantry and the surrounding neighborhood after smoking one bowl:
♡ cough drops/hard candy
♡ fruit, fruit, fruit. I like more snacking-type fruit like grapes, blueberries, blackberries, etc. it’s easy to eat a lot of these but it’s fruit, who cares
♡ vaping with sweet e juice ~ okay this one has been huge for me. I definitely used to make fun of vaping and now I’m having to swallow my pride bc it WORKS
♡ your absolute favorite gum, always have that shit on deck
♡ drink lots of fluids!! Coffee and sodas are my favorite bc they both leave me feeling full and I can’t drink either super fast so I’ll be sippin on it for a while. But make sure you’re drinking water too bc smoking dehydrates you.
♡ get out and go exploring. literally anywhere, just be safe. I love to smoke and walk through the meadow behind my house. Bonus points if you have a dog to take with you.
♡ find any type of distraction that you get really into while you’re stoned. I love drawing and yoga and I get reallyyyy into it when I’m high, I can pass hours doing those two, or at least until I come down enough to come to my senses and decide I can replace the fried pickles and grilled cheese I was craving with a pita wrap and peppers.
🍬 oh and just bc you’re cute, here are my three favorite strands that I typically don’t get munchies on:
♡ Blue Dream ~ sativa dominant hybrid
♡ Durban Poison ~ sativa
♡ Jack the Ripper ~ sativa dominant hybrid
🚬 if you smoke,drawing sigils on ciggarettes might be effective. think about it,it’s drawn on paper,it burns alongside tobacco (charging),it enters your lungs (could also mean charging),you release the smoke into the air (casting).
❗PLEASE DON’T DO THIS IF YOU DON’T ALREADY SMOKE. don’t start smoking because of a tumblr post 🚭
🔥 drawing sigils on plastic lighters or carving them into metal ones could also be a thing,you’d have to charge it yourself but it could be practical
🐚 i like picking rocks i feel drawn to,blessing them,and placing them in my turtle’s tank,i’m guessing blessed or charged water would do too
👑 also. you could like gather all your jewels in place and assign each one an element according to your intuition,and charge them accordingly. like keep earth jewels buried in your plants’ pots or (ONLY FOR METAL ONES) place them in/above a fire,take a bath with the water-y jewels & some sigils for charging,although i have yet to find a method to charge them with air energy.
💍 as for the above,you can totally charge items in moonwater (i’ve a dark purple-ish charm that i keep in moonwater hidden in the dark,and i feel both The Moon’s energy and also some dark energy in it,but that may be because i used said charm for some fucked up shit)
🌹 rose petals man. i felt guilty when my ex came over with roses & all i could think of was “man im so gonna use these” (but he turned out to be an asshole so now i dont feel guilty about using them) so like if you got roses from someone,you can use the petals to make a glamour especially to draw said person to you,or to solve some relationship problems,and if you don’t want none of that & you’re looking for revenge or smth you’d just have to wait until the roses die and you could add the petals in your craft,i found them to be especially strong in break up spells
📷 if you’re looking for revenge or you want someone to suffer for whatever reason,you could take a picture of them and use it. i started using this method before i ever got into withcraft and it’s proved to be extremely effective. it doesn’t even have to be like an album photo,heck you can print their profile pic from social media and fucking burn it. just do it. but it would have to be someone you really hate,yknow,intent matters a lot. bonus points for: burning with sigils,stabbing the picture (EXTRA bonus points if you have a knife you’re fond of and use it for stabbing!), having your blood on the pic before burning it (it was an accident but it worked out way better than i thought), placing a few rusty metal things like screws in the fire,placing something of theirs,blasting fitting music.
🚪 as a continuation for what i said above,i found it extremely helpful to like,gather the ashes of the picture & sigils (add in the metal things or the personal item) and like…drop that shit near the person’s house. just do it. once i gathered the ashes and like mixed them with water and put it in a bottle,got to said person’s block,and like…just..poured that nasty mixture there. (the bitch broke her jaw that night,she says she was “yawning” lol bitch nah. just to give you a glimpse of what this can do)
☕ ok but like enough of the negative shit. you need charging too. try charging your coffee/tea/energy drinks for fucks sake they all work. charge with intent,sigils,even place herbs or condiments (cinnamon in coffee doesn’t tase bad at all!)
🍃 if a leaf falls right in front of you,take it. add it to your altar. do it everytime a leaf falls in front of you. you’ll end up with a big pile of leaves but they do have a purpose
🎤 MUSIC. your voice is extremely powerful. singing while doing a spell is like a legit way to add more power to it. singing while making a glamour does wonders. singing while performing cleansing/warding rituals - singing while cursing - even just singing with intent - they all work. (for reference - you can change the lyrics as you wish. i like singing the “flower gleam and glow” song from tangled to my flowers,i also adapt it to the elements i work with , for example “darkness hear my call/let your powers show” idk i like keeping rhymes but i don’t think it’s necessary)
✒ not to mention how useful it would be to like..write your own stuff. like a poem for a creature/spirit/presence you want to summon or for a deity you worship.
✅ speaking of writing. i like to write a “wishlist” with a pencil (instead of a pen or marker) on paper + add a “my wishes are granted” sigil on it,and burn it and throw the ashes in the wind. the sigil is charged,cast and you stated your wishes. you can determine if it’s going to work or not by paying attention to the paper when it burns. did it have trouble lighting up? did certain words come out of the fire unharmed? probably not gonna work. also pay attention to the ashes like idk how to explain,but some days the ashes just go…down when i throw them in the wind,and other days they fly-almost float-in the wind,in a beautiful way,they almost look like gray butterflies.
⛔ however,you have to be like super explicit whenever you’re making a wish,just like when you ask for something in a spell or from a deity. be clear. not to mention to charge with intent. for example i’ve made wishes that x and y would break up,only to find that the two of them have only been arguing,or that they broke up but made up right back.
🌃 find energy wherever you are.take advantage. if you’re on a street with many running cars,feel the energy,draw it to you. same goes for when you’re out at night and see lights. (my ex used to take me to a bridge where there were train tracks still in use,and the ground would shake when a train was passing there. i could feel the energy when a train was passing right next to us. i collected rocks and herbs from there,and i let a charm hidden there overnight to charge)
🍺 do.not.mix.alcohol.and.withcraft. DO.NOT. like yes you can do whatever you wish to with YOUR craft,and some spells or rituals require adding alcohol,but please for the love of all that is holy please don’t attempt to do anything witchy while you’re drunk.
that’s all i have for now,most of these are pretty basic but i’m sure some of you will find this helpful. take care ✨
holy shit last night i had a dream about you and you were sitting on my bed and i looked at you and said, "Eliza?" and you were smoking and you said, "Word." then it was quiet and you whispered, "Where the Fuck is my money, buzzfeed?" and i woke up
It was inevitable, right? The little brother getting jealous of the older brother for spending too much time with his girlfriend. Obviously she wanted a real working man and not a young boy, right?
“I trusted you.” Finn said angrily right before walking out. You knew he was talking to you, but you couldn’t help think some part of it was directed at Tommy, who stood with you in shock.
You sighed as Finn fled hurriedly from the betting shop, needing some fresh air.
“Is he ok?” Tommy asked between furrowed brows.
“He’s fine.” You say rolling your eyes slightly as you go to follow him out.
You find him outside, smoking a cigarette.
“Finn?” You ask as you approach him.
“This is why I didn’t want you working here. Y/N.” He says, shaking his head. You were new to the company, only officially working with the Shelby’s for a few months now at your volition. You had basically begged him for a job one night long ago now…
i know you want dean to smoke, but how do you feel about him occasionally smoking weed? i mean, i'm a biased pot-head, but damn i'd live for that. dean eating pie while high? dean watching cartoons while high? dean going on about how he doesn't do it often, but it makes the magic fingers even better every time.
I love this a LOT and there is actually some canon basis for it as well! Two Dean quotes in particular that are my favorites:
M O B Y D I C K ’ S B O N G (2.05)
That line had everything that I love for Dean: casual cockiness, references to occasional drug use, and phallic subtext.
D O N ’ T T A K E A J O I N T F R O M A G U Y N A M E D D O N (8.01)
This implies that Dean did, indeed, take a joint from a guy named Don and has learned from the experience.
The guys went to the roof area, outside, to smoke.
“I can’t believe this actually smells like cinnamon.” Kale commented. Kayne had been the one to pick what they were having right now. Similarly to his brother, Kale had been astounded at Ibis’ “crafts”.
“What’s the one you’re smoking?” Kayne asked Ibis.
“Oh, this is a blood one. I can barely taste anything else.”
“And the other ones you have have special effects?” Kale questioned.
How do you feel about the phrase "curves in all the right places"?
I’m not a fan. It implies that there’s a wrong place to have curves which then implies that there’s a body that’s just wrong. Which I mean don’t get me wrong, of course being severely overweight isn’t “healthy”, but there’s plenty of people with thin bodies that are unhealthy. You can have 36 28 36 and have clogged arteries and barely functioning tar filled lungs because you smoke a pack and a half a day like my cousin. But she swears she’s gods gift and prettier than everyone else because she has the right body with curves in the “right” places. Usually the “right” places are that they have a small waist with larger breast and hip ratios. So someone that doesn’t meet that criteria is being made to feel like their body is wrong. Which of that’s you’re opinion, that’s fine you can think that but I write for people to enjoy, not make them feel inferior. So I don’t ever use that phrase in my real life and I never ever would use it in my writing. I wouldn’t ever want to feed Into that stigma and make a follower feel like shit when they’re trying to just read a story and relax. It’s rude.
Edit: not trying to come for anyone that smokes. That’s your business, I’m just saying how ironic is is for someone with a cigarette in their hand to mock someone for being overweight because it’s unhealthy 😒😂 We all know that smoking is hella bad for you. I’m just making a point.
At night I imagine you’d still be with me and waking up feels like kissing cold tombstones
I tried to forget you,
I smoked till my lungs burned and
drank till I couldn’t remember my own name
But in the morning headaches aren’t the only thing killing me
I want to be a grunge, rebellious teenager who goes out and smokes and does stupid shit. Except... I don't have anyone to do it with. My only friends are book nerds, and I'm pretty much shunned by all else (for being "too smart" and "too weird" and shit). I want to be able to live while I'm still young, but... the opportunity's just not there. Should I just forget it? Or should I branch out and try meeting others? Should I just go at it alone?
Okay from how you’ve said all this shit you’re young. Smoking isn’t fuckinh cool like WOOOOHOOOO lung cancer bitchesssssss. Like nah dude if you’re intelligent live through that. You don’t gotta hate life to enjoy it. Sober drives to the sun set???? Exploring abandoned places????? Tree houses???? Like stop trying to be someone you aren’t with bad intentions. :/