are you lost ma'am

TalesFromYourServer: You're losing a sale!

I’ve posted here a few times and stated I work on a carnival food cart. The best thing about this job was the fact we didn’t have to suck up to customers and worry about reviews.

Earlier today I was reminded of a story from a few years ago.

It’s mid afternoon and things are pretty slow. A woman walks up and sets a pile of change of the counter. I figure she wanted a water or something since that was a dollar. C for customer. M for me.

C: I want a funnel cake.

M: Funnel cakes are $5.

C: Well make me one the size this can get me.

Now my boss is very clear, we don’t do half orders. Not to mention this lady’s change is not even $2.50.

M: We only make one size, ma'am. I’m sorry.

C: I know how you make them. Just make it smaller.

I count her change out of curiosity now. 98 cents.

M: One fifth of a funnel cake isn’t going to be much. Plus it won’t cook evenly with so little in the ring.

Lady is starting to get frustrated and flustered.

C: I know how you make them. Just make a small one.

M: We don’t do that. I’m sorry.

At this point a coworker comes over and reinforces my previous statements. The customer is rather angry now and scoops up her 98 cents.

C: Well you just lost a dollar!

M: No ma'am, I lost 98 cents.

By: itoldyousoanysayo

easy company pick up lines

Requested by anon :)  (it’s hard to get them all, so let me know if you think of someone I missed)

Lewis Nixon: Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes. 

Dick Winters: You’re so beautiful, you give the sun a reason to shine.

Harry Welsh: Everything about you is perfect except one thing: you aren’t married to me. 

Carwood Lipton: I was gonna say something really sweet about you but when I saw you I was speechless. 

Ron Speirs: What’s your favorite game? Mine’s called Following You Without You Knowing.

Buck Compton: I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you. 

Bill Guarnere: I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’! 

Joe Toye: Hey baby do you like a man that can carry big things because I have the biggest heart.

Don Malarkey: If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d only have a dollar because you never leave my mind. 

George Luz: You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad. 

Joe Liebgott: It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!

David Webster: When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one. 

Eugene Roe: I know somebody who likes you but if I weren’t so shy, I’d tell you who.

Babe Heffron: Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me. 

Floyd Talbert: Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes. 

Frank Perconte:I think you’ve got something in your eye. Oh never mind, it’s just a sparkle. 

Bull Randleman: May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you? 

Johnny Martin: You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.

Ralph Spina: Do you have a Bandaid? ‘Cause I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Skip Muck: I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart. 

Alex Penkala: Hi, I’m writing an essay on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

Shifty Powers: I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?

Chuck Grant: If I had to choose between breathing and loving you…. I’d take my last breath to say “I Love You" 

Skinny Sisk: Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

Donald Hoobler: Roses are red, violets are blue, lava is hot and so are you.

Popeye Wynn: Can you touch me? I want to tell my friends I was touched by an Angel.


Bonus:

Joe Dominguez: Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of ‘edible.’

If You Want to Live, Look Down

by reddit user DoubleDoorBastard

@sixpenceee‘s thoughts: One of the most brilliant horror stories I’ve read. This story has me on the edge. I really enjoyed it. 

As a life-long hotel maintenance worker, I’ve seen some bizarre occurrences throughout my career. I’m not going to bore you with the details of the people who broke their toilet while trying to flush human remains, or the time I had to call the hospital after I found a very, very high individual trying to ‘consummate’ a relationship with one of the hotel’s boilers. It’s a messier, nastier job than all the recruitment shit they slam into high school career fairs would have you believe.

Keep reading

You're a Pilot, Aren't You?

(Because my child needs happiness. Also on my ao3 page, @livetoseeourglory)

“Bodhi! Come here a moment.”

The pilot looked up and over to where Cassian was calling him and made his way over. “What is it?”

“I need your advice,” Cassian sighed.

“My advice? On what?” Bodhi took a seat on the couch beside Cassian. They were in one of the Base’s small sitting rooms, a quiet, out of the way place. It was a nice place to be if you wanted to get away from the noise of everywhere else.

Cassian pulled up something on a datapad and showed it to him. It was a selection of ships the rebellion used, labeled by type and color. “I’ve been instructed to choose a ship for one of our new pilots. I don’t know what to give them, though.” He looked over at Bodhi. “Which one do you think is best?” Bodhi held out a hand, and Cassian gave him the datapad so he could look at each model more closely. Bodhi examined each one with careful attention, wanting to help Cassian make the best decision. The ship’s descriptions also had their specs–speed, maneuverability, storage space, firepower–so it took him a bit to get through them all. There was one B-wing, three X-wings, an A-wing, and two Y-wings.

“Well, I know the X-wing is the most popular,” Bodhi eventually reasoned. “Personally, I love the A-wing. Better maneuvering than the X-wing, and it’s smaller. But again, the X-wing is the more popular, and there’s more choice there. Find out what color they like,” he shrugged.

“Thank you,” Cassian smiled. “That is sound advice.” Bodhi smiled back, pleased to be of help.

~~~

“Slow down, Cassian!”

“It is an emergency, Bodhi, you must hurry!” At that, Bodhi sped up. He hadn’t realized it was an emergency. They ran around the corner into the docking bay, where Cassian skidded to a halt.

“What? What is it?” He looked around wildly. He didn’t see anyone else rushing around. There were only a few ships in the bay.

“This way.” Cassian pulled him across the floor toward the middle. They were approaching a ship, the A-wing Bodhi had noted when Cassian had asked his advice. He frowned.

“Is there something wrong with the ship?”

“We want you to look it over, just make sure it’s up to scratch.”

“Oh. Of course.” Bodhi’s slight smile was artificial. He was envious of this shiny who would be getting this ship, but he was happy to look over it. Bodhi made his way inside to look over the controls. He checked the steering, the landing gear, the nav controls. They were similar to TIE fighter controls, and he was more familiar with them. He finished up and brushed off his hands. “It looks to be in perfect working order. Your new pilot will be very happy with it, I think.”

“I would certainly hope so.” Bodhi jumped at the unexpected voice, turning to see Mon Mothma standing behind him with a smile. He gave a salute. She nodded a relief, and he lowered his hand. “You like it, Bodhi?”

“I… think it’ll serve the new pilot excellently,” he told her, trying to keep the envy from his voice. “Why did you ask me specifically to look over it, Ma'am?”

“Cassian didn’t tell you?”

“I’m lost,” Bodhi frowned. He looked over to Cassian, who was now broadly grinning. Bodhi’s frown deepened, and he looked between the captain, the ship, and Mon Mothma, then back to the ship, then back at Cassian as understanding dawned. Cassian nodded, and the smile that grew on Bodhi’s face mirrored Cassian’s own. “Me?”

“Of course!” Cassian hugged him. “You didn’t think you’d be a pilot without a ship, did you?”

“Well, I- I figured I’d be a cargo pilot, again,” Bodhi confessed as he pulled away. “You really mean-”

“Yes,” Mon Mothma smiled. “This is your ship, Bodhi.” Bodhi beamed and bowed.

“Thank you, Ma'am.”

“Thank Cassian. He told us which ship to reserve for you.” She nodded and turned away. Bodhi turned back to Cassian and hugged him again, tightly.

“Thank you,” he whispered. Cassian hugged him tightly back.

“You are welcome, my friend.”

Lessons

So doll face @fandomwanderer wrote some Blinking Deadeye prompts and requested some headcannons. I actually wrote a fic for the first prompt. Hope nobody minds <3 This ship is still cute to me and it needs more loving.


Blinking Deadeye. Fluff. Pick Up lines.

She loves to talk, about the weather, about the recent mission, any odd dreams she had the previous night. But the moment she nears McCree, her mouth seems to forget how to function. The wires connecting her tongue to her brain disconnects as the cowboy flashes her a smile underneath the all too familiar cowboy hat.

Making a tosser of herself in front of the gunslinger is a common occurrence. She wishes for it to stop, but every attempt at flirting is blocked up behind her teeth. His smooth words only muddle her thoughts more. A disease that she loves to hate.

Never knowing when to quit, she straightens her spine before entering the walkway. McCree’s watch ends soon, and she didn’t dare put this off any longer.

“Hello, Lena.” He drawls when she steps confidently onto the walkway he stands on. Straightening up from leaning against the railing, he’s grinning his white teeth. Her mind begins to come apart as her eyes only take in his honey brown irises through the darkness.

No, not this time. She grits her teeth before flashing her own smile.

“Now to what do I owe the pleasure of yer company this fine evening?” His voice dripping with sugar and honey that her tongue almost slips out to taste.

“McCree… Jesse…” Her words die in her throat, but she’s standing before him. She won’t back down again.

“Luv, I think… Wait.” She stops, realizing that it’s not the appropriate pickup line for the setting. “You’re as pretty as the… No, no. That’s not right.” The list of chat up lines she had memorized only minutes ago are slipping through her fingers like water

McCree brow tightens as his eyes travel over her mess of a person in confusion, “Lil’ lady?”

Her lips part as she stares up at him, shocking her still. The nickname is new and breaking through the cloud of confusion in her mind. It awakes a hunger in her soul that she’s been fighting off for the past months spent with McCree.

Her cheeks turn red as she covers her face with her hands. “Jesse, stop.”

“What?” He says. From underneath her palms she watches his feet shift upon the walkway. “Stop what, Lena?”

“Don’t call me little lady,” she rushes out in a breath that’s simultaneously too quick and too much.

What little part of him she can see, stiffens abruptly. Peeking through her fingers, she watches his hand reach up to take his hat off. One hand running through his mess of wild brown hair. He glances up at her in… embarrassment, even worry.

“Aw, Lena. I didn’t mean to make ya uncomfortable. It’s just that—”

“Don’t call me little lady,” She interrupts him before his shameful voice can continue on breaking her heart. “Because it makes my insides melt and then I can’t remember what beautiful things I want to call you and how I’m going to sweep you off your feet with a few words but you always get the best of me. McCree, I’m trying to flirt with you and you’re making it very difficult.”

She moves her fingers back over her eyes, unable to watch his reaction. In the same moment, she’s dying to see his face now. Is he repulsive by this? Is he happy? She can’t bear to look.

Then his smooth chuckle causes her muscles to freeze, and she readies to blink away. Fingers gently tug at her wrists. One flesh, one metal. Bracing for the worst, she lets him take her hands away from her face. Her body cringes softly as she gazes up at the cowboy who’s trying to hold back more laughter behind his cheeky grin.

“Lena, if ya would have told me that sooner, I wouldn’t have to have make ya do all the flirting.”

Her lips pull into an ‘O’ when she finds his fingers still wrapped around hers. Heart beating wildly, she leans closer just as McCree tilts his head down just enough to hide his memorizing irises.

“Now here, let me help you, lil’ lady.”

With a grin from the wanted man, he looks down at her.

“Ain’t no rodeo clown that can keep me off ya, baby.” He first drawls, and her lips are tugging into a grin. “I’ll fall for ya like a blind roofer.”

She giggles at that one, “Jesse.”

“You lost, ma'am? Heaven’s a ways away from here.” He says, and Tracer lets her relief and happiness flow through her laughter.

“Yer hotter than a tin roof in August.” His fingers clutch hers a little more tightly. “I could give ya a few more lessons, if ya’d like, during dinner tomorrow night?”

Oh the cowboy’s good, but she can here with a mission, and she will not fail it.

“I’d love too,” She grins, then pushes off the ground so her toes hold her up. “But I need to tell you something.”

The way his irises sparkle in the near darkness makes her heart race but calms her mind. He softly asks her what that would be.

“I’ve never kissed an American boy before—I wonder if it’s the same. Want to indulge me?” She holds her gaze as she hardly breathes.

Taking his hat off, his metal arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer. She inhales softly as she feels his chest underneath her palms.

“I’d be happy too, darlin’.” He drawls before his lips come to hers. Her fingers curl around the cloth of his shirt as she somehow stands taller. His mouth tasting like lemongrass and pine trees. A flavor she tugs away to later see if any tea can replicate, but she already knows that nothing will come close.

They part, and she leans against his chest. A hug that seems as intimate as their first kiss. He doesn’t falter, pressing both arms against her back as he rests his chin on her hair.

“So what’d ya think, lil’ lady?” She hears the chuckle in his words, feeling the movement of his jaw.

She leans back, falling backwards onto her flat feet. His arms loosen around her, but her hands pull against the collar of his shirt, bringing his face down to her level. She’s grinning at his startled but eager expression.

She tilts her head to the side as she glances off in thought. “Definitely not the same, so I’m going to need a few more kisses from an American boy.” She steals a quick look at his face, he’s grinning like mad. She smiles too, before stealing a kiss from the cowboy.

Diamond No Ace Pickup Lines:

(something i started with narumiya-me  AND finally finished lol)

[seidou]

tetsu: “If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.”

jun: “I MAY NOT BE A PHOTOGRAPHER. BUT I CAN PICTURE US TOGETHER DAMMIT.”

ryosuke: “I lost my number, can i have yours?”

masuko : “You burn my heart like hot chili. Wait, but burnt food is bad…

tanba : “I broke my jaw for you-WAIT crap I mean i fell from heaven for you–NO I MEANT—“

chris : “I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are~”

kawakami : “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber!” 

miyuki :  “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?”

kuramochi : “Fuck butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you.”

furuya : “You make my heart beat faster than my fastball. And it’s really fast. Like, really, really fast.”

haruichi: “ You look beautiful today, just like every other day.” 

eijun: “LET ME KNOW WHEN I BECOME THE ACE OF YOUR HEART.”

miyauchi : “ Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.”

nabe: “This morning i saw a beautiful flower and thought of you.” 

toujou: “I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?”

[yakushi]

raichi: “Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling!“

sanada : “Girl, are you french? Cause maDAMN.”


[inashiro]

mei: “Can i follow you home? Because my parents told me to follow my dreams.”

carlos toshiki: “Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”

itsuki: “If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.” 


[other]

umemiya:  “It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.”

nao:  “You wanna know what’s beautiful? Read the first word again.”

shunshin: “I would flirt with you, but I’d rather amaze you with my awkwardness”

EXO using pick-up lines

insp.

Xiumin: “I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!”

Suho: “You must be a high test score, because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.”

Lay: “Is your dad an art thief? Because.. Uhm.. You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.”

Baekhyun: “There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are now 100% off!” *gets slapped*

Chen: “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”

Chanyeol: “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

Kai: “I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but.. I’m Batman!”

Kyungsoo: “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.”

Sehun: “Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?”

BONUS

Luhan: “Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.”

Tao: “See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

Kris: “Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart, and you’ll steal mine.”

She Shoots To Thrill

Warnings: Smut, Serious Smut, Hair-Pulling, Roughness, Jealousy, Bit Of Anger, Minor Violence, Stark!Reader, BadAss!Reader, Flirty!Reader, Dirty Talk, Kinky!Bucky, So Much Dirty Talk, Misuse Of Steve’s Motorcycle, Bucky’s A Bit Of A Jerk, Horny!Bucky, Teasing, Flirting, FLASH BACKS ARE IN ITALICS

Pairing(s): James “Bucky” Barnes x Reader, (Slight) Steve Rogers x Reader, Tony Stark x Pepper Potts, Scott Lang x Hope Van Dyne, Thor x Jane Foster

Summary: You’re the daughter of Pepper Potts and Tony Stark; it’s your first time coming home in quiet a few years and as excited as you are to be home, these new family members will take some getting used to.

Originally posted by buckynsebimagines

Part 1: The One Who’s Gonna Make You Burn

“Hey! Kid! Where you headed?” Your dad, Tony, asked, stopping you in the hall.

“Down to the garage. As usual.” You said, rolling your eyes, “Thor had a bit of a fender bender while driving the Dart downtown yesterday, Natasha’s armed dune-buggy took a few hits on her last mission, and Clint is teaching Pietro how to drive so I can only imagine what ‘surprises’ they’ve left for me.”

Working as the Avenger’s mechanic was no easy job while also being Tony Stark’s and Pepper Potts’ daughter; in all honesty, you’d kind of fallen into the position.

You walked through the doors of Stark Tower and up to the receptionists desk. This is the first time you’d been home in a few years; in the school year you attended a very private reform school (you’d been going there since you were thirteen) and your parent’s usually picked you up on the way to whatever destination they’d chosen to spend the summer or holiday at. But this was your last summer before college and seeing as you’d be heading to an art school in Paris come fall, you’d decided to spend it at home.

“How can I help you?” The reception asked, giving you a disdainful look.

“I’m here to see Mr. Stark.” You said, peering at her over the frame of your prescription sunglasses (you could paint landscapes for days but your eyesight was absolute shit).

The receptionist gave you a disparaging smile, “I’m sure. You’ll have to make an appointment.”

“Look here basic bitch, I don’t have time for your shit today. I just got off a five hour flight; I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m really jet lagged and you do not want to play with me. Are we clear?”

“Is there a problem here?” A deep voice asked from behind you, causing the receptionist to give a victorious smile.

“The security button? Really?” You asked, unimpressed, “Well, at least he’ll be quicker to deal with.”

You turned to face the man and your eyebrows raised; he was tall, blond, blue eyes, incredibly well built, and surprisingly handsome. He wore a pair of snug fitting jeans, a tight blue shirt, and Stark Sneakers that looked to be heavily reinforced.

“If there is will you have to punish me?” You smirked suggestively.

“Ma'am? Are you lost?” The blond asked, eyeing your form.

In the cutie’s defense you didn’t exactly scream “STARK!” upon first glance; your baby pink Converse sneakers had seen better days, your jeans were ripped, your grey t-shirt said “Novak Reform School”, your leather jacket was a bit worn, and the red backpack slung over your shoulder bore the same school crest that was on your t-shirt. The only things that told people you were a Stark was your personality and your facial features. Well there was that one other thing…

“I’m right where I wanna be, Sweetcheeks.” You smirked, “Well actually, no, I’m not. I need to see Mr. Stark.”

“I’m sure if you talk to the receptionist, she can set you up-” The blond started, but you quickly interrupted him.

“Listen up Blondie, I’ve tried being nice; especially seeing as you’re a real joy to look at. But I’ve had a really long day and I just need to see Mr. Stark.” You said, your frustration growing.

“I’m sorry, ma'am. But I’m not authorized to let you see Mr. Stark unless you have an appointment.”  The man said firmly, crossing his arms (you so weren’t thinking about his bulging muscles and how great they’d feel pinning you against the wall. Not you, nope, because you’re a decent human being and not a perv).

“Fine, guess we’re doing this the hard way.” You muttered. You let your backpack fall to the ground and shrugged off your jacket.

“Wha-what are you doing? What’s happening?” The man asked alarmed, eyes wide and face reddening.

You didn’t say anything but continued to strip off your top (you may or may not have twirled it around your finger as if you were a stripper just to see his blush deepen), you then pulled the edge of your sports bra down just enough to expose the area between your breasts (being careful not to flash him; you wanted him to blush not have a heart attack) and peeled away the synthetic skin, revealing the glowing arc reactor in your chest.

“I need to see Tony Stark. Now.” You said, eyes blazing with anger and frustration.

The blonde gulped, his eyes flitting from the arc reactor, to your angry eyes, and finally to your nearly exposed breasts, “Um .. Right this way.”

You angrily shoved your shirt in your backpack and pulled on your jacket then followed him to the elevator.

“I’m - uh, I’m Steve by the way.” The man coughed, pressing the button to take you to the correct floor, “Do you want to put your shirt back on?”

“Not really. I’m out of it now, why bother? The secret’s out.” You deadpanned, gesturing to the machinery in your chest.

“Oh, okay.” Steve said uncomfortably.

You finally arrived on the right floor and Steve led you down a long hallway, eventually stopping in front of a lab.

Steve knocked and pushed the door open, “Stark! I’ve got a delivery for you!”

“Wow. You’re really taking this whole patriotic thing to another level if your delivering mail. Leave some government work for the rest of us, gee.” You heard the unmistakable snarky voice of your father reply.

You pushed pass Steve, shoving your backpack into his arms and ran into the room, tackling your dad in a hug, “Dad!”

'Y/N?! You’re early!“ Your dad exclaimed, picking you up off your feet and twirling you around.

"They let everyone off a week early since we finished our senior project.” You said as he set you down on your feet again.

Tony frowned, “Not that I’m not happy to see you and everything. But where is your shirt?”

You pointed a thumb over your shoulder at Steve, “I didn’t want to pull the 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?’ card and your guard dog needed proof. Also, he’s really cute when he blushes.”

“First off, lets just zip this up.” Tony said, zipping up the front of your jacket like you were five again and it was too windy outside, “Second, no. Boys are not cute. Boys are bad. Don’t be pulled in by the blue eyes and the perfect hair; he may be America’s Golden Boy, but he’s still old enough to be your grandfather.”

You looked confusedly between your father and Steve. Then it clicked.

“You’re Steve ROGERS. Failed to mention that last bit.” You said, turning to the man and strutting towards him.

Steve took a step back with every step you took forward and eventually backed himself into a corner, then he resorted to holding your backpack up like he’d hold his shield. In his defense, you were looking at him like you wanted to jump him right there.

Instead you held your hand out to him, “Y/N Stark. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I’m sure. My apologies for not recognizing America’s hero sooner; we don’t get digital media privileges at 'bad kid school’.”

“I didn’t know Tony had a daughter.” Steve said, hesitantly shaking your hand.

“Yup, Pep and I spawned that little genius. My greatest creation. So hands off, Captain.” Tony said from across the room, pointing a screwdriver in your direction, “And you weren’t a bad kid, you just … strayed.”

“Well if I 'strayed’ then you completely went off the reservation when you were my age; and grandpa Howie never sent you to reform school.” You sassed back, Steve chuckled.

“Grandpa Howie was also a workaholic that rarely left the office.” Tony pointed out.

“Point taken. Is my room ready?” You asked, still dangerously close to Steve with his hand still subconsciously shaking your own.

“Yup; you’re room is right off the team common room.” Tony said, “I’ll be thirty minutes then I can show you the way myself.”

“Oh I don’t think that’s necessary, I’m sure Captain Rogers wouldn’t mind showing me to my bedroom.” You said, yanking Steve’s hand towards you, throwing the super-soldier off-balance and causing his chest to bump into your own, then you looked up at him and fixed him with an innocent look, “Right, Steven?”

“I-it’d be my pleasure.” Steve said, the statement coming out more like a question.

“No. It will most certainly not be your pleasure. No one will be taking my little girl to a room with a bed. No one will be taking my little girl to a room with a COUCH.” Tony said, “No one will be taking my little girl anywhere!”

You rolled your eyes and turned to your father, “Really? You think Captain America’s just gonna pin me against the wall and take my virtue?”

Both Tony’s and Steve’s faces reddened.

“Tony, I would nev-” Steve started.

“I know, Spangles. Just - just go. Show her to her room. Before I change my mind.” Tony grumbled.

“Wonderful!” You exclaimed, looping an arm through Steve’s and dragging him from the room, “Come along, Captain!”

After leaving the lab you slowed to a stroll, your arm still looped through his as you examined your surroundings while you walked.

“So, can I ask you a question?” Steve said, adjusting your backpack to rest on his shoulder.

“Shoot.” You said, looking up at him.

“Why do you have an arc reactor?” Steve asked.

“I was born with a defective heart; so my father built me a new one.” You answered.

“Can you operate the suits?” Steve asked, leading you up a staircase.

“Sugar, I helped MAKE the suits. I can do more than just operate them.” You smirked.

“Why haven’t we met before?” Steve asked confusedly.

“I’ve been going to a reform school since I was thirteen; I seem to have a habit of getting into trouble.” You giggled, “I’d spend my summers and holidays with my parents in some exotic location, then it was back to school.”

“So why come home now?” Steve asked.

“What? Not happy about my arrival?” You asked with fake offense, but Steve’s eye’s widened in panic, “Chill, Steve. I know what you meant. It’s my last summer before I go to college; seems fitting I spend it at home.”

“Well, welcome to the tower. I hope you enjoy your time here. And I believe this is your room.” Steve said, pushing open the door to your new living space (your father had the room decked out in lots of pink, white, ribbon, and so much lace it was ridiculous; but knowing he took the time to pick all of it out made up for the 'little girl’ image it set).

“Thank you, Stevie.” You said, smiling as he set your backpack on your bed for you, “Y'know if you ever get lonely or … cold. Drop by any time.”

“Noted.” Steve laughed as you gave him an over-exaggerated wink.

“Goodnight, Captain Rogers.” You smiled.

“Goodnight, Miss Stark.” Steve smiled in return, closing the door behind him as he left.

You flopped onto your bed, wondering how you were supposed to survive the summer in this tower if the rest of the team was as attractive as Steve was.

It was your fourth day in the tower and you were positively bored.

You’d met nearly all of the Avengers; Natasha, Wanda, and Hope were all ecstatic to have another female in the tower (Pepper was usually very busy with Stark Industries, Jane and Darcy only visited when Thor was on break, and Maria was usually only able to visit on behalf of SHIELD), Clint and Scott quickly warmed up to you (you were already making karaoke plans with them), you and Thor got into an in-depth conversation about Mjolnir, you’d developed a bit of a flirtationship with Loki and Pietro (how could you not? They were so easy to tease), you’d managed to get both Bruce and Vision talking when you started asking about black holes, even your uncle Rhodey and uncle Happy stopped by for dinner one night.

The only ones you hadn’t met were Steve’s two closest friends; Sam (who you learned also happened to be Natasha’s boyfriend) and Bucky because they were both currently on a mission.

Everyone in the tower was busy today; either inventing, filling out reports, on a mission, or resting. So you decided to use your free time to explore your new home (you’d been there four days but you were still only familiar with the Avengers’ floor, your parent’s floor, and the lobby.).

Starting at the top, you worked your way down. The view from the rooftop was breathtaking, the labs had the most state of the art technology, as did the training rooms (your father had even used your design you’d given him last summer for a custom fight simulator), there were many kitchens and coffee stations scattered throughout the building, and finally you made it to the last floor; The Underground.

The Underground was the floor beneath the lobby and was literally underground (hence the name). Besides holding the entrance to the bunker, it was mainly kept to keep the team’s wheels; everything from motorcycles, to trucks, to planes, to boats. As you were looking around you noticed something and felt a frown fall across your face.

“Jar Jar, what happened to all these machines?” You asked, your hand ghosting over the bullet holes in the side of your father’s 2017 Audi R8.

“Multiple events, Miss Stark. Mostly battles, but also several car accidents; Mr. Rogers is the only safe driver.” JARVIS replied.

“Of course he is.” You muttered, smiling as you shook your head, “Why haven’t they been fixed yet?”

“Master Stark is incredibly busy with multiple other projects and hasn’t had time to hire a team of mechanics.” JARVIS said.

You looked at all the ruined -once beautiful- vehicles, then an idea struck you, “Hey, where are the tools? And can I get some music?”

A panel on the wall slid aside to reveal a smaller room with every tool you could possibly need just as “Shoot to Thrill” started playing.

It was some hours later when you father, Scott, and Hope stepped off the elevator.

You slid out from beneath a 1969 Porsche 911 and stood up wiping sweat off your face, your once clean shorts and tank top were covered in oil, dirt, and other unknown substances but you were smiling in pride, “What’re you guys doing down here?”

“I was gonna see if Scott could help fix up some of these paperweights. But it seems he’s not needed.” Tony said, a look of surprise crossing his face as he peeked under the hood of a 2011 Honda CR-Z.

“How the hell did you get all these fixed? How long have you been down here? Is that Nitrous?” Scott asked, darting around the workshop like an excited kid.

“I’m a Stark; we know how to fix basic machinery. Not sure how long. And yes it is.” You smirked.

“I believe you’ve been down here for eighteen hours, Miss Stark.” JARVIS said.

“Oh.” You said, suddenly feeling weary.

“Eighteen hours?!” Tony exclaimed, “What the hell were you thinking? Your mother is going to kill me. Why were you even down here?”

“Sorry, I got a bit caught up.” You shrugged, “I got bored earlier.”

“This is what you do when you get bored?” Hope asked, impressed, “I’d love to know what happens when you put your mind to something.”

You ducked your head at the praise, unused to it.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, “It’s the Stark curse; getting lost in your work. Okay, if you’re gonna be the team’s mechanic for the summer I’m gonna have to have JARVIS set some alarms so you know when it’s time to eat, sleep, and socialize.”

“Team mechanic? Does that mean I’m an official Avenger?” You said, a wide smile making its way onto your face.

Tony sighed, “Fine. Though why you’d want to be one I haven’t the faintest idea. For every vehicle you fix I’ll pay you twenty percent of its total value.”

You knew that the money would add up fast and you hated taking handouts from your dad, so it seemed like a fair deal. But why not have a little fun?

“Thirty percent.” You replied.

“Twenty-five.” Your dad countered.

Meanwhile Scott and Hope were looking back and forth between the two of you, as if they were watching a tennis match.

“Twenty-seven and I get to use whatever I fix whenever I want.” You said; you were really just messing with your father now.

“Deal.” Your dad smiled, pulling you into a hug; you didn’t let him help you financially very often, so it made him happy to take care of you for once.

“What the fuck? I was only gonna get off kitchen duty for a week!” Scott whined.

You tossed Scott your wrench and headed for the elevator, “Gotta work on those bargaining skills, Scotty.”

“This damn team is gonna put me in debt to my own daughter.” Tony grumbled.

“Nah. I’ll be gone in two months; how much damage can they possibly cause in that time?” You asked.

Tony was silent for a long moment.

“I’m revoking everyone’s driving privileges. Except for Steve because the man needs to learn to drive like someone of his biological age and not someone of his actual age.” Tony said, “Also, you’re not going anywhere in that getup. Go put some more clothes on, missy.”

You looked down at your attire for the day; bright red thigh highs, denim shorts (you’ll admit, they’re a bit short; okay, a lot. Earlier in the week Pietro had flirtatiously told you that he could see your panties every time you bent down, which Loki slapped him upside the head for seeing as he was rather enjoying the show), and a bright yellow crop top (which was see through enough that anyone standing close could see your red bra and the glowing arc reactor set between your breasts).

“C'mon. No one’s ever down there except for Scotty and Thor; and they’re both very in love with their respective ladies.” You argued.

“What if Spangles sees you on the way down?” Tony asked.

It was no secret that you liked playing with Steve. You just couldn’t help it; his blush was too cute. And he blushed at practically everything; flirting, revealing clothing, innuendos, someone having sex hair, etc.

“Steve left early this morning and he hasn’t been back. And before you even mention Loki and Pietro, let me remind you that they’re scheduled to be in Superpower Training with Wanda and Vision for the rest of the day.” You replied.

“But-” Tony started.

“Pardon me, Master Stark, but it seems you are needed in the lab.” JARVIS cut in.

Tony sighed, “Fine. But if anyone gives you a second glance I will kill them.”

“Thanks Jar Jar.” You said, after your father had sped off towards the lab.

“My pleasure, Miss Stark.” JARVIS said, “Though I think it might be beneficial if you started telling Master Stark of these panic attacks you’ve been having at night, instead of going to work.”

“I’ll think about it Jar Jar.” You sighed, of course JARVIS would know; he monitors the entire tower day in and day out.

You quickly made your way to the garage and thankfully the tower seemed to be rather deserted today; no one would be dying at the hands of your father today it seemed. You set to work, only pausing to ask JARVIS to put some music on.

Pietro had surprisingly gotten through the driving course Clint had set up for him with only a few scratches to the 2005 Nissan Titan Clint had him using for practice (Pietro kept badgering you for something “faster and cooler”, but you adamantly denied his request and told him he could have first pick once he got his license and kept his record clean for six months), Thor had merely dented the back bumper, so Natasha’s ended up being the most difficult (shotgun holes were the hardest to fix, as you’d come to find out working on the teams vehicle’s).

You were finished in a few hours time, but the stress from your late night panic attack last night was still pumping through your body. Thankfully, you remembered that you still had one project left; the detailing on Steve’s bike.

Though Steve was the safest driver when he had passengers or was around civilians, he was positively reckless in battle. Steve also liked to use motorcycles when he was in need of transportation, and Harley-Davidson was definitely his preferred brand; he often used his 1942 WLA Liberator or his 2014 Softail Breakout. You’d learned early on to reinforce Steve’s motorcycles after he’d come back from a mission, shamefaced, and had to ask you to fix one of them (you’d given him hell for it seeing as the thing was hanging on by a thread, but really you were just furious because it could’ve been him instead; and that’s something you couldn’t have fixed).

The damage wasn’t too bad this time; the thing was bulletproof so the only thing it really needed was the paint job to be redone, which so happened to be your favorite part. You grabbed your kit, pulling out your brushes and paints, you once again got to work.

“Hey! Princess! You seen Ste-” A voice said, stopping as it rounded the corner.

You were straddling Steve’s bike, leaned over the gas tank with your ass in the air as you delicately added paint to the metal. With a jar of white paint in one hand and your brush in the other, you continued to paint; you knew who it was even though your back was to him and you didn’t bother to spare him a glance.

Just the thought of him annoyed you; he’d been a pain in the ass since day one.

The clock read 5:57 AM when you finally took the elevator up; you’d just had your first panic attack (since moving in) not but five hours ago, and the only way you could think of to quiet you racing heart was to distract yourself by working in the garage.

You stumbled into the community kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water, gulping it down right there in front of the sink and even spilling some on your  white t-shirt. You filled your glass and drunk it slower as you got lost in your head.

You’d been having panic attacks for a long time; the first time was when you were thirteen and it was your first night away from home at Novak’s, the feeling was like nothing you’d ever experienced before and you dreaded when you’d inevitably feel it again. Ever since then you’d wake up in the middle of the night a few times out of the week, and be overcome by a panic attack. Sometimes you feared going to sleep and you used to stay awake with worry until you finally crashed, but you eventually figured out that avoiding sleeping only made them worse. So you occupied yourself until your panic faded and exhaustion took you over.

A pair of voices from down the hall pulled you from your thoughts and you turned to the door as two men stepped into the kitchen. The first one had kind brown eyes, neatly trimmed facial hair, a bright smile, and there was a device on his back that looked a bit like a backpack. The second man had nearly-shoulder length dark hair, piercing blue eyes, the fullest pink lips you’d ever seen, and his left arm was made of metal. They stopped talking as soon as they spotted you.

“Who the fuck are you?” Blue eye’s asked.

“The mechanic.” You said, crossing your arms and leaning back against the sink.

“That some kind of superhero title or something?” The smiling one questioned.

You smirked, “Or something. And let me guess; you’re Sam.” You nodded towards him, then nodded to the man with long hair, “And you’re Bucky.”

“You seem to have us at a disadvantage.” Sam commented, grabbing an apple out of the fruit bowl.

“Seriously, who the fuck are you and what are you doing in our kitchen? Also your clothes are really revealing; did one of the guys bring you home for the night or something? Did you break in? You do know this is the most secure building in the world, right?” Bucky asked, eyeing you.

Before you could reply, Steve walked in and his face lit up instantly.

“Hey! When’d you guys get back?” Steve asked, clapping each of them on their backs.

“Just got in.” Sam replied.

“Have a good run, Stevie?” You asked, noticing the sweat seeping through his shirt.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Steve said, turning to you and pecking you on the cheek (after he’d gotten used to your humor, you and Steve had grown incredibly close in the short amount of time you’d been home), “You’re up awfully early. This is the first time you’re meeting Sam and Buck, isn’t it?”

“Yup.” You said, popping the 'p’, “We were just getting into the introductions.”

“So you know her, Steve?” Sam asked.

Steve nodded and stole the glass of water from your hand for himself, “Yeah, this is Y/N; she’s Stark’s daughter-”

“Ah, yes. My only claim to fame.” You said sarcastically.

“And she’s been nice enough to fix up all the team’s transportation.” Steve finished, ignoring your sarcasm.

“As I mentioned, I’m the mechanic.” You said, glancing at Steve as he downed half your water.

“Oh, so that’s where that smell is coming from.” Bucky said.

Steve choked on your water, “Buck!”

Sam gave Bucky a disappointed look, “Dude! That’s not how you talk to pretty girls!”

“What? I’m just being honest!” Bucky said, shrugging.

“You can be honest without being rude!” Steve scolded, “You should apologize! That’s no way to treat a lady.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “Well he already called me a slut and a thief; being told I smell is a compliment at this point. Nah, Steve, it’s fine. Not every man is as much of a respectable gentleman as you are.”

Steve’s eye widened at Bucky upon hearing this new information, “Seriously?”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Didn’t realize I had to walk on eggshells for the Princess. Though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s a spoiled brat, considering who her father is.”

Anger ignited in your chest; people could talk about you all they wanted, but family was off limits. Quicker than The Flash, you were in front of Bucky and your fist was connecting with his face, causing the soldier to stumble back a bit.

“What the hell?!” Buck asked as blood started to run out of his nose, “Did I hit a nerve, Princess?”

You fixed him with the same intimidating glare you’d gotten from your mother and spoke calmly, “Next time I’ll dismantle your arm.” You turned back to Sam and Steve, “I’ll see you later, Stevie; my dad’s sending me with you on this afternoon’s mission to field test the new drones so I’ll definitely see you then. It was lovely to meet you Sam and I hope I can get to know you a bit better; you’re gonna have to tell me how you managed to get Natasha to go on a date with you.”

You ruffled Steve’s hair and started back to your room, but not before you heard Sam’s voice from down the hall.

“I have a feeling the 'Princess’ could kick your ass, Barnes.” Sam laughed.

“Shut up.” Bucky grunted.

You and Steve got back from your mission later that evening with barely a scratch (you got a paper cut but that’s because you’re accident prone), proving that the drones were very efficient in the field. After showering and pulling on some sweats and your 'Stark Industries’ t-shirt, you headed down to have dinner with the rest of the team.

Unless you were on a mission or there was an emergency, Sunday dinner was mandatory for the entire team (including your mom and yourself, seeing as your parents didn’t have much free time in general they took the moments they could get). The team was already buzzing with chatter and passing around bowls of food by the time you took your seat, always between Thor and Natasha but across from Clint.

“How did your quest go?” Thor asked, spooning some mashed potatoes onto your plate.

“Good I’d say. The new drones exceeded my expectations and Stevie was able to get in and out with barely any problems.” You replied, smiling as Thor continued to fill your plate with portions to match his own (ever since he learned of your tendency to forget about eating and sleeping he’d taken it upon himself to make sure you were taken care of; often bringing you snacks throughout the day, keeping you company while you worked so you wouldn’t become isolated, etc. JARVIS would even alert him to come drag you off to bed when you’d ignore the alarms your father had set.).

“You are a fierce warrior with your technology; the team is fortunate to have you.” Thor said, cutting you a large piece of ham (that you knew you’d probably have to force down; Thor always made you finish to the last bite.).

“What’s so brave about hiding behind a computer?” Bucky asked, contempt dripping from his words.

“What happened to your face, Sir Barnes?” Thor asked, feeling you tense beside him and deciding to change the subject.

The whole table turned to Bucky, waiting for the story; your eyes met his and a small smirk played onto your lips.

Sam’s laughter was what cut through the silence, “Homeboy ain’t gonna fess up so I’ll help him out; Stark tore him a new one. It was great.”

Bucky scowled at Sam, “It was a lucky shot.”

“Lucky enough to bruise your face. What’d you do to piss him off anyway? He’s been in the lab all day with me.” Bruce asked, raising a brow; sometimes you wondered if your mom had any qualms about having to share your father with Bruce. Then you remember that very few people can take ALL Tony Stark ALL the time.

“Not HIM.” Sam chuckled, “HER.”

Everyone’s eyes were on you in an instant.

“Y/N!” Your mom gasped, “We’ve talked about this; violence is never the answer.”

“That’s my girl!” Your father said at the same time, but Pepper shot him a look, “But, uh, you’re mom’s right. You can’t just go beating people up, kid.”

“In my defense, he WAS being a Grade A Douche.” You said.

“Oh great, so we’re just taking in every stray with a history of violence now?” Bucky asked sarcastically.

“They took you in, didn’t they?” You bite back.

“Y/N, stop.” Your mom warned, “And Mr. Barnes, please watch how you speak; she’s still my daughter and I will end you.”

“I love it when you go all momma-bear.” Tony said, kissing Pepper’s cheek as you made a gagging sound.

“You’re just on a roll with the Stark women, aren’t you, Buck?” Steve smirked.

“Shut up, Punk.” Bucky said, kicking Steve’s leg beneath the table.

“You did that to Barnes’ face?” Natasha asked, turning to you in shock.

“Yeah…” You said, looking away in shame.

“Good job; not many can leave a mark on a super-soldier.” Natasha said, “Let alone The Winter Soldier. Color me impressed.”

“Thanks.” You said, still puzzled at the praise everyone so readily gave.

“Don’t thank me; meet me in Training Room 2 at 6:00 AM.” Natasha whispered, then turned to Sam to ask him about his mission.

The next morning you met Natasha in the training room.

“You made it.” Natasha said, wrapping her hands.

“Yeah, so what’s up?” You asked, sliding your hands into the pockets of your cargo pants.

“Get changed; we’re gonna spar.” Nat said, leaving no room for argument.

You gave her a salute, “Ma'am yes ma'am.”

Several hours of sparring later, you were both soaked in sweat and your muscles were sore; but neither of you were giving up, that competitive fire still burning brightly in your eyes.

“I think that’s enough for today; I’ve got a mission tomorrow and you’ve got things to fix, so we’ll pick this up on Wednesday.” Natasha finally said, swiping her hair out of her face, “Where’d you learn to fight like that anyway? I know Tony can fight but he’s no where near that good.”

“Novak’s.” You replied, wiping the sweat off your forehead, “A lot of kids go there for fighting in school and whatnot, so they use fighting as a teaching method; things like how to fight and when it’s acceptable. Builds respect.”

“Your dad know? That you’re good with more than just tech?” Nat asked, packing her stuff up, “Because you’d be excellent in the field.”

“Nah, we don’t talk about my time at Novak’s much. And he’d never agree to let me go head to head with his enemies unless I’m wearing the Hulk Buster; and probably not even then.” You snort, stretching your muscles.

“Who said we need permission?” Natasha flashed you a devious smirk, but it disappeared just as quickly, “Want me to hold the elevator?”

“No, I think I’m gonna go a few rounds on the bag.” You replied.

You and Nat exchanged goodbyes, then you went to pummeling on the punching bag. Your muscles were already aching and your body was hotter than a furnace (or at least it felt that way) but your frustration was still rolling through you. You’d had another panic attack after dinner last night, causing you to skip on sleep altogether; they were getting worse, staying with you longer and happening more often.

“What’d that bag ever do to you, Princess?” Bucky’s voice said, making your rhythm stutter and eventually stop.

“I’m not in the mood today. And yes; I’m aware that I smell.” You snapped; he was only wearing a pair of white running shoes and some black basketball shorts hung low on his hips (you were ninety-nine percent sure he wasn’t wearing anything under them); you did your best to not let your eyes roam over his well-defined torso (he was a jerk, but he was an attractive jerk and there was no denying it. Hell, over half the team could make you dizzy just taking their shirts off.).

“Someone didn’t get their beauty rest.” Bucky mocked, then furrowed his brows, “You’re bleeding.”

You looked down at your knuckles to find them covered in blood, your adrenaline quickly wore off and you began feeling the sting, “I’ve had worse.”

“Please.” Bucky scoffed, “You’re a Stark. I doubt you’ve even broken a bone in your life. Also, you know we have wraps, right? So things like that don’t happen? Can’t have you hurting those pretty little hands now can we, Princess? For a genius you’re kinda stupid-”

“Oh! I get it!” You cut him off, “You’re intimidated.”

“Intimidated?” Bucky asked, confusion flashing across his face.

“Yeah. By me.” You smirked, packing up your stuff.

“Why on earth would I be intimidated by you?” Bucky scowled, “What are ya gonna do? Kick me outta the castle?

"Well, I’m new. You don’t know me. Yet everyone seems to like me.” You smirked as Bucky’s frown deepened, “I also punched you in the face, so that most likely has something to do with it; you’re probably feeling a bit emasculated. Don’t worry, you weren’t the first I’ve taken down and you certainly won’t be the last.”

You grabbed your bag and started for the elevator, but Bucky’s strong grip on your hand pulled you back.

“That’s the problem with you Starks; always so sure of yourselves. Until someone cracks your armor.” Bucky whispered in your ear, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

You looked down to where his hand held yours and raised a brow, “You know, I’m always one for foreplay but I really must be going. Also, you’re fly’s undone.”

Bucky released your hand and immediately grabbed at the front of his pants, then frowned as he realized his shorts were pull-ons.

You looked back at him as you stepped into the elevator; his hand was still grasping his crotch when he looked up at you.

“You really shouldn’t be touching yourself in such a public place, Barnes. You never know who might walk in.” You said.

Just before the elevator doors closed you saw Pietro and Clint walk in.

“No masturbating in the gym! It’s one rule, guys!” Clint yelled.

Your relationship with Bucky didn’t improve over the next few weeks, in fact you’d say it actually got worse.

Bucky thought you were a spoiled brat; he never missed a chance to mockingly call you “Princess”, picked on you whenever you mentioned something was difficult (“Somebody call the butlers! The Princess can’t be bothered with a little bit of hard labor!”), scoffed at just about everything you did with Steve (bidding him good morning, kissing him on the cheek, offering to help him figure out how to use the fancy espresso machine your father got for the kitchen, etc.), and his cocky attitude nearly drove you up the walls.

You weren’t much better; you never missed a chance to remind him about the punch you’d given him (even if it was a lucky shot, you were gonna milk it for all it was worth), mocked his age (“Somebody call life alert! A senior citizen has fallen and can’t get up!”), mercilessly pulled pranks on him (It took both Steve and Thor to keep him from killing you after you’d removed every condom from the tower when he had a woman over one night; you’d even taken the ones out of his wallet and to this day no one knows how you did it. It was almost as bad as when you put one thousand paper cups filled with water all over his room; including the closet, desk, and bed.), and constantly teased and put him in awkward situations in front of the other Avengers (Loki has now seen Bucky’s bare ass more times than he cares to count). Your constant flirting with his best friend didn’t help either.

But a Barnes never backs down.

Coincidentally, neither does a Stark.

“What the fuck do you want, Barnes?” You said, your voice muffled around the paintbrush clasped between your teeth.

Bucky didn’t respond which caused you to glance over your shoulder at him. Your heart skipped slightly; he wore a black vest top and black military pants, his WWII dog tags shining against his dark clothing. But that wasn’t the cause of your reaction; it was the fact that he’d cut his hair. It looked just like in the pictures Steve had shown you of when they were younger, back in the forties; if you didn’t know for a fact that he was a jerk, you’d probably be climbing him like a tree. Bucky looked so handsome it took you a minute to realize his eyes were focused on your ass.

“Barnes, my eyes are up here.” You said, half annoyed and half flattered (not that you were going to tell him that).

Bucky let his eyes slowly run up the rest of your body, taking his time, until they finally landed on your annoyed expression. He just smirked, “Nice panties. Though I didn’t figure you for a baby blue girl.”

You smirked over your shoulder at him, “You cut your hair. Were you tired of it getting on your lip gloss or something?”

“Have you seen Steve?” Bucky asked, now annoyed, “And what the hell are you doing to his bike?”

“Nope; last I heard he took off earlier this morning and he hasn’t been back yet.” You replied, turning back to your work, “It’s called painting. What else would I be doing with paint?”

You heard Bucky’s footsteps near and come to a stop at your left, but he didn’t say anything.

“What?” You snapped, looking up from the partially finished and very detailed American flag you were working on.

Bucky had his arms crossed and was staring at the flag intently, “Nothing. Just … Nice flag.”

A grin spread across your face, “Was that a compliment?”

“What? No!” Bucky said, eyes narrowing.

“It was!” You exclaimed, “Bucky Barnes likes me!”

“Wha-? Hu-? N-no! I d-do not!” Bucky said, but even through his glare you could see the blush staining his cheeks.

“You like me! You like me! You like me!” You chanted like a kid which caused the brush to fall from between your teeth, you began bouncing up and down on the bike and pointing at Bucky as you made a kissy face.

Bucky unexpectedly stepped towards you, gripped your ponytail in his metal hand, and pulled it to angle your face up towards his own. Your laughing ceased in favor of shock; the blush on his cheeks was gone, his eyes were a darker shade of blue than usual and held a hungry glint, his breath ghosted over your face, and his chest was flush with your own. Bucky’s eyes drifted from your own to focus on your lips, less than a second passed before he crashed his lips into yous.

You were frozen in shock, his lips owning yours in the hungriest and greediest kiss you’d ever felt. Just as he was about to pull away, thinking you’d rejected the kiss, you reacted. You bit his lip while one hand grasped his newly cut hair (which was much softer than anyone else’s you’d ever felt) and the other went to his side, pulling him even closer to you, causing your brush and jar of paint to clatter to the ground. Bucky’s tongue darted out and started pushing against your lips, but you kept them sealed shut and denied him what he desperately wanted. You felt a growl ripple through Bucky’s chest and vibrate against your lips, the sound weakening your ability to resist. You heard a loud SMACK! then felt the sting radiate through your ass, the action of being spanked and the slight pain made you let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan. Bucky took advantage of your surprise and pushed his tongue between your lips as he massaged your rear; even though he’d used his flesh hand he’d still managed to spank you hard enough that you’d felt it through the layers of your clothing.

Bucky pulled back and looked into your eyes, releasing his grip on your hair to stroke your bottom lip with his thumb as his other hand continued to gently rub your ass. You matched his gaze and slipped your tongue out, swirling it around his metal thumb while you pushed your behind further into his other hand.

“It’s not nice to point.” Bucky said, chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Was that you punishing me then?” You asked, raising a brow.

“You bet.” Bucky smirked, then giving your ass another hard slap and whispering in your ear, “But I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet. You should learn to respect your superiors.”

You bit back a moan and traded it in for a glare, “Superior my ass! I don’t work for you!”

“No,” Bucky cockily smirked, “But by the way you’re rubbing your ass against my hand, I’d say I definitely own you to some extent.”

“You can go fu-” You started, but gasped as Bucky spanked you again.

“Nah-ah-ah. No cursing, Princess.” Bucky said, “You don’t want Daddy to have to wash that pretty little mouth out now, do you?”

Your eyes widened in shock and you were stunned speechless. Apparently your silence was enough of an answer for him though.

“Good. Glad we’re on the same page, Babygirl. But Daddy’s still gonna have to punish you.” Bucky said suggestively.

You knew you could’ve told him to stop and he’d back off before you could blink. But you found yourself surprisingly turned on; you’d never indulged in anything so kinky before. It was thrilling. You’d masturbated with your fingers and toys a lot, but you were still pretty young; so it wasn’t exactly surprising that you’re level of sexual experience was low (your level of kinky sexual experience was practically nonexistent).

“No!” You pouted, deciding you were too horny not to indulge him, “I’ll be good! I promise, Daddy!”

Bucky sucked in a breath; he honestly thought you’d laugh at him and run for the hills. But for once he was glad to find out he was wrong.

“That may be, but if I don’t punish you, you’ll never learn.” Bucky said sternly, shifting back into character, “Now, stand up and bend over so I can give you your punishment.”

You quickly stood, and while still straddling the bike you leaned halfway over the handlebars; leaving your ass up in the air and on display. Bucky felt his pants tightening at the view; he never thought he’d get to see you like this in a million years. Bucky growled possessively as he thought of the amount of men who’d had the chance to see you in such a position; no other man would ever again if he had anything to say about it. Bucky ripped off his shirt and your eyes widened as you looked at him over your shoulder; his body looked like it had been crafted by angels. Broad shoulders, sculpted pecs, hard abs, and that beautiful piece of machinery that was his left arm; he was a fucking work of art.

Bucky smirked as you stared, “You can memorize my body with that mouth of yours later, Princess. Right now, face forward.”

You obeyed, and hummed in satisfaction as Bucky grasped your ponytail in his left hand once again, “Yes, Daddy.”

“I might let you cum after all.” Bucky said, admiring the dip in your arched back by tracing your spine with his right hand “But not yet.”

With that he delivered a nice slap to your behind, smiling down at your figure Bucky released three more slaps in quick succession; two directly to your ass and one to the back of your left thigh. You released long, low moans in appreciation; you sounded like a mess but you could tell it turned the brunette man on by the erection poking into your side. Bucky continued spanking you mercilessly, alternating between your rear and the backs of your thighs. After about fifteen more spanks, Bucky stopped and began caressing the stinging areas as you shivered with want beneath him.

“Good girl. You took your punishment so well.” Bucky said, grabbing your jaw and cradling your face so he looked into your eyes which shone with unshed tears, “I think you deserve a reward.”

Your breath hitched; between the slight stinging still pulsing through you and his suggestive tone, you didn’t know how much longer you’d actually last. How had you never noticed how sexy his voice sounded?

“I-I’d really like that.” You stuttered.

A genuine smile stretched across Bucky’s face (damn, he had a good smile too), “You’ve earned it, Princess. Now sit back and relax, but be careful 'cause it’s gonna hurt a bit, okay?”

You returned to your original position on Steve’s bike, careful not to put too much pressure on your sore backside. Bucky sunk down onto the bike, directly behind you with his member snuggly pressed against your ass and separated by only a few layers of clothing.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous like this.” Bucky said, pushing down on the small of your back and causing you to inadvertently rub against his crotch, “And all for me.”

“Yes. All for you, Daddy.” You moaned, rubbing against him again but adding more pressure.

“Shit!” Bucky moaned, grabbing your hips as he took control and rubbed you against him harder.

“Ya like that?” You asked, glancing at Bucky over your shoulder to find him with his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut, “Ya like using me, Barnes?”

As if a switch had been flipped, Bucky’s eye’s snapped open and he lifted his head. Bucky spanked you once again, the sting returning to your sensitive skin.

“What was that?” Bucky asked, eyebrow raised.

“You heard me, Barnes.” You taunted.

“Guess you haven’t learned your lesson after all.” Bucky said, licking his lips.

Before you could process what was happening, Bucky had grabbed the side of your shorts and ripped them from your body; your panties following soon after. Bucky’s eyes were now focused on your bare ass and exposed cunt.

'Hey! I liked that pair!“ You protested, looking longingly at your ripped cotton panties that now lay useless on the floor.

"Be a good girl and maybe I’ll replace them. Maybe not; I’m really enjoying the view as is.” Bucky smirked, tracing a metal finger down the cleft of your ass.

You shivered, “You just gonna touch me tenderly all day? Or are you actually gonna teach me a lesson? Maybe I should go see if Steve can fill my needs, I mean the guy is smoking and I’d bet my bottom dollar that he’s packin’-”

“Quiet, Princess.” Bucky growled, pulling you up to his chest by your hair and making you yelp, “You’re not gonna wanna have anyone else inside of you when I’m done. Especially not Steve.”

You let out a small laugh, “Jealous much?”

“You know what? Yeah, I am. I see you walk around this tower everyday in your barely-there outfits, shaking this sweet little ass for Steve and teasing the hell out of him; rubbing up against him like a bitch in heat, kissing him wherever your lips will reach, and letting him undress you with his eyes.” Bucky snarled, ripping your shirt from your body, “Trust me, if it weren’t for your parent’s giving all us single men on the team a stern talking to about you, Steve would’ve had you on every surface in this tower by now. I’ve know the punk for 70 years, I know that hungry look in his eyes every time he sees you because I get the same one; I even walked in on him jerkin’ off and moaning your name like a prayer last week.”

“So what’s to stop me from going to him?” You sassed, barely managing to conceal your shock at this new information.

Bucky reached around with his left hand and pinched the inside of your thigh, just inches from your soaked entrance, “Because unlike Steve, I don’t give a shit how many warnings people give me when it comes to you. I’ve wanted to fuck your brains out since Sam and I came back from our mission and I saw you standing in front of the kitchen sink in nothing but that sheer, oversized white v-neck. I wanted to bend you over the counter top and take you right there; right in front of Sam and Steve, just so they’d know who’s cock had you screaming in pleasure.”

“Really? Then why’d you tell me I smelled?” You moaned, getting higher but still coherent enough to ask questions.

“I never said you smelled bad.” Bucky said, “I didn’t know who you were or why you gave me a hard on within seconds. I’ll admit; it wasn’t my finest moment. Damn, these stockings are sexy.” as if to emphasize his point, Bucky gripped the elastic of your right stocking and pulled it away from your heated skin before letting it snap back into place with an audible POP!, “Never take 'em off.”

“Who knew you had such a thing for my clothing choices?” You smirked.

“Doll, you’re a walking sin.” Bucky said, “And don’t act like you don’t want me. I’ve seen you eye me up.”

“To be honest, the thought of fucking you has never even occurred to me.” You said; you knew you were walking on thin ice, but how could you not play with this new found jealous streak?

You could practically feel the anger course through him, “Now it’s gonna be the only thing you can think about.”

Bucky’s hands ran up your sides and came to rest beneath the edge of your bra. He stroked your nipples through the thin fabric teasingly, smiling to himself when he felt them harden beneath his ministrations. Bucky’s fingertips brushed the tops of your breasts then he finally pulled the cups of your bra down, releasing your breasts from their confinement.

“You’ve got some gorgeous tits, you know that?” Bucky whispered huskily in your ear, then chuckled, “Love to fuck 'em some time; then maybe I’ll eat you out until your screaming for me to stop. As a reward.”

Bucky flicked, pinched, and rubbed your nipples until you were a babbling mess caught between telling him to 'Stop’ and 'Don’t stop’; the pleasure and the pain working with each other to make you speechless. The way he alternated his hands on each breast and let his fingers skim over your arc reactor, you could tell he was a pro at this. Bucky peaked over your shoulder to inspect his work; your nipples were red and hard and there was a small amount of wetness on the leather seat between your thighs.

Bucky’s left hand traveled down your body; over your ribs, past your belly button,and came to a stop on your lower lips. Bucky began stroking your folds gently; even in his anger he maintained his control. Chills rose all over your body when you felt his thumb come into contact with your swollen clit, the metal contrasting fantastically with the heat coming off of you. Bucky rubbed his thumb in light, teasing circles, relishing the way your warm (not to mention nearly nude) form writhed against him. Just as you felt your orgasm building, he pulled his hand away.

“No!” You whimpered.

“Shhhh, Babygirl. I’ll give you exactly what you need.” Bucky said, making a show of licking his fingers.

You looked over your shoulder to find Bucky slowly unzipping his pants, his blue orbs focused on your reaction as his cock sprung free.

“So is that why they called you guys the Howling Commandos?” You asked, licking your lips as you openly stared at his above-average member.

“Somethin’ like that.” Bucky said, his Brooklyn accent thickening with arousal, “Like what ya see, Princess?”

“I’ve seen bigger. And better.” You shrugged, facing forward once again, “Yours is alright. It’ll do.”

That was possibly the biggest lie you’d ever told. You’d never seen one as big as his, and it was better than alright; every inch of him that he’d exposed to you was beautiful beyond compare and his cock was no different. But it’s not like he needed to know that.

“Bend over and grip the handlebars.” Bucky growled, his cockiness replaced with anger, “And don’t let go; you’re gonna need something to hold onto when you see what exactly 'alright’ can do to you.”

You began to bend over but apparently you weren’t moving fast enough for the soldier because Bucky suddenly pushed you forward, causing you to catch yourself on the handlebars. Bucky teased your folds with the head of his cock, coating himself in your fluids in the process. You began grinding down on him in encouragement when Bucky gripped your hips, stilling you.

“You sure about this, Princess?” Bucky asked, rubbing circles into your hipbones with his thumbs, “Because once I start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself. I’ve wanted you too long.”

You turned your head and pulled Bucky down to you by his dog tags, the warm skin of his chest pressing against your back as you pressed your lips against his; kissing him hard and fiercely.

You pulled away and stared into his eyes, “I’m sure. Take me.”

Bucky pecked your lips one more time, sat back up, and slowly slid in. Bucky entered you, inch by inch, stretching you to fit him. You moaned in unison, your high pitched ones harmonizing with his deep ones. Bucky pressed kisses down your spine, only stopping to skip over the clasp of your bra to continue his way down.

“You feel amazing; so tight and hot, like you were made to take cock. Better than I could have ever imagined.” Bucky murmured against your skin.

“You imagined me like this a lot, Daddy?” You asked.

“Every fucking night, Babygirl. Every. Fucking. Night.” Bucky said, sitting up, “You ready for me to take you to heaven?”

“You have to a-AAAAAHHHH!” You moaned, the cause of which was Bucky pulling out all the way then snapping his hips forward to fill you again.

Bucky continued to drill into you, never slowing down and only picking up more and more speed, Bucky’s hands that gripped your hips slowly began moving you against him, working you up and down his cock, pulling you down on him as far as he could to enable him to grind against your g-spot. Your hands gripped the handlebars so tightly your knuckles were white and your nipples brushed against the cool metal of the gas tank with every hard thrust.

“You like this? Like being used as Daddy’s Little Fucktoy?” Bucky asked, “You like me taking control and using your little body for my benefit? Like the feeling of me stretching you? Bet you’re gonna feel real empty later, huh? Don’t worry; Daddy’s happy to fill his Babygirl up, she’s just gotta ask. Want me to fill you, Y/N? Want me to paint your insides with my cum? Want to feel me running down your thighs? You just need to ask. Tell me what you want. Tell. Me.”

Tears of pleasure were streaming down your face, “Yes! Please!”

“Please what?” Bucky moaned, his jaw clenching as he held off his orgasm.

“Please … Just … Ahh … I … P-p-please!” You babbled, unable to string together a sentence.

“Okay, okay.” Bucky said, “I’ve got you.”

Bucky reached his left hand around and began rubbing your clit roughly. Within seconds you were screaming as you came, bucking your hips wildly as you rode out your orgasm. The sight of you losing all sense of self-control had Bucky cumming a moment later, spilling his warmth inside of you with a low, guttural moan of your name. The both of you stilled, your chests heaving as your heartbeats began to regulate and your heads began to clear as you returned from your orgasmic highs. Bucky pulled out and turned your boneless body around on the seat so you were facing him, wrapping your legs around his waist for you and tilting your chin up so he could look into your slightly hazy eyes.

“You okay there, Princess?” Bucky asked, “C'mon, come back to me, Baby.”

“M'great.” Was all you could slur out, nuzzling into the side of his neck.

“Fuck!” Bucky exclaimed, panic flooding his tone.

“What?!” You asked, looking up.

“Steve’s gonna kill me!” Bucky said.

“Why?” You asked.

“Because you’re currently leaking my cum all over his bike!” Bucky replied, hand sifting through his hair.

You laughed, “I’m the mechanic, remember? I can make all the evidence of our previous activities disappear.”

“Oh. Right.” Bucky sighed in relief.

There was a long moment of silence as you breathed in Bucky’s scent, basking in it while you could as Bucky traced the curve of your ass with his fingertips.

“You were so good.” Bucky whispered, running light kisses along your neck, “So good for me. My Princess.”

You tensed at his words and pulled away from him, “Don’t be nice to me.”

“Why?” Bucky asked, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Because we hate each other.” You replied, even though you knew that wasn’t completely true for yourself after this turn of events, “This was just a hate-fuck. Nothing for the books, Barnes. Won’t happen again. We’re never gonna speak of this ever again. Ever.”

Bucky smirked, “Sure it is. Just wait; you’ll be-”

“WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?” A familiar voice screamed, causing you to pull Bucky closer to you by his shoulders before you both looked over his shoulder towards the sound.

Only to find a shocked Tony, an infuriated Steve, and a mildly surprised Thor.

Author’s Note:  What’d ya think? Please let me know! I love hearing your thoughts, comments, questions, and criticism; it all helps me become a better writer! I tried not to specify on Reader’s level of sexual experience too much; so feel free to decide that for yourselves.  Also would anyone like a part 2 to this? Or perhaps a small mini-series? Anything in particular you guys would like to see in it if so? You can give me your Comments, Questions, Criticisms, Requests, and Thoughts HERE!

pick up lines sentence starter
  • Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
  • Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  • Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
  • I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!
  • Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  • Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.
  • If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  • I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
  • I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  • There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
  • Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
  • If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
  • Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.
  • I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  • Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
  • I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
  • I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that.
  • My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
  • Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
  • Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
  • I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.
  • Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you.
  • Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
  • Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
  • You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
  • Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
  • I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
  • I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  • I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
  • You're the only girl I love now... but in ten years, I'll love another girl. She'll call you 'Mommy.'
  • Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
  • I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.
  • Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
  • Hey, don't frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.
  • My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
  • Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you're lacking some Vitamin Me.
  • Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man.
  • Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  • Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
  • For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  • You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
  • Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  • Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!
  • You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
  • If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  • I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen
  • If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
  • If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
  • Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
  • Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
  • Did you read Dr. Seuss as a kid? Because green eggs and... damn!
  • Is your dad a drug dealer? Cause you're so Dope!
  • Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
  • There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
  • Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
  • Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
  • Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
  • Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
  • I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
  • There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
  • Do you work at Dick's? Cause you're sporting the goods.
  • You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
  • Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
  • You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot that you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
  • Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
  • If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  • Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
  • Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.
  • If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  • Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
  • You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.
  • Put down that cupake... you're sweet enough already.
  • You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  • Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
  • Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
  • I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
  • I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
  • When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
  • I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?
  • Baby I might not be Sriracha sauce but, I sure will spice up your life.
  • Are you Jewish? Cause you ISRAELI HOT.
  • You may be asked to leave soon, you're making all the other women look bad.
  • Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  • Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
  • Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?
  • If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.
  • Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  • No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.
  • Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
  • I'm no organ donor but I'd be happy to give you my heart.
  • If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.
  • Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you.
  • Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless.
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  • Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
  • If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
  • If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  • Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily".
  • You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
  • Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
  • Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!
  • Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
  • How was heaven when you left it?
  • Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
  • You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
  • Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  • I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  • You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!
  • Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
  • Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
  • Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
  • If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
  • You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
  • Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
  • Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  • So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  • The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • (As she is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? (What?) Me!
  • Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!
  • Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.
  • I'm Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?
  • Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
  • If I were a transplant surgeon, I'd give you my heart.
  • Are you Willy Wonka's daughter, 'cuz you look sweet and delicious.
  • If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
  • Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
  • Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?
  • I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
  • I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  • I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
  • I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
  • If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  • If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
  • My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
  • Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  • Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
  • Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
  • You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
  • Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  • [Point at her butt] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
  • Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  • Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
  • I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.
  • Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!
  • Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.
  • What's on the menu? Me-n-U
  • You're like pizza. Even when you are bad, you're good
  • I'd say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.
  • I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
  • My friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't... I think you're absolutely gorgeous!
  • Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal your heart, and you'll steal mine.
  • You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
  • If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard
  • Are you a hipster, because you make my hips stir.
  • Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect
  • Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!
  • You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  • I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.
  • Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you're a-Dora-ble!
  • I don't know if you're beautiful, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
  • You don't need keys to drive me crazy.
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.
  • People call me John, but you can call me tonight.
  • You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart
  • I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents... do you want to be my dime?
  • [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
  • Are you a magician??? Because Abraca-DAYUM!
  • Be unique and different, say yes.
  • Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
  • You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
  • My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  • They say dating is a numbers game... so can I get your number?
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
  • (Ask a person for the time) 9: 15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
  • Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.
  • if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!
  • Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!
  • I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
  • You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
  • You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  • Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
  • When God made you, he was showing off.
  • Are you a Snickers bar? Cause you satisfy me.
  • Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
  • Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're "mmmm... good!"
  • You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
  • Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
  • Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
  • You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
  • Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
  • Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
  • I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
  • Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
  • I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
  • Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
  • If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
  • Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • (Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
  • How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
  • Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
  • Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
  • When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
  • Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
  • Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
  • (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
  • This time next year let’s be laughing together.
  • Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.
  • Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need.
  • Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going... I just need eye contact from you.
  • Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!
  • I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.
  • Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.
  • Is your father Little Caesar? Cause you look Hot 'n Ready.
  • I could use some spare change and you're a dime.
  • I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
  • Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  • Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
  • Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
  • Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
  • Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  • I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  • I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
  • I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  • I sneezed because God blessed me with you.
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  • Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  • So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!
  • Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
  • Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  • Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  • What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  • What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • I blame you for global warming... your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!
  • You are the reason men fall in love.
  • Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  • If you were ground coffee, you'd be Espresso cause you're so fine.
  • You better call Life Alert, 'cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
  • You're single. I'm single. Coincidence? I think not.
  • You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  • You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.
  • You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  • You should be someone's wife.
  • Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  • Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
  • I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
  • You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  • If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
  • Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?
  • Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
  • There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
  • Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  • Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
  • If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  • Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
  • You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  • You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
  • Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  • Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  • Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
  • Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  • Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
  • Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  • You're hotter than Papa Bear's porridge.
  • I hope there's a fire truck nearby, cause you're smokin'!
  • If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
  • How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
  • I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
  • (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
  • You are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
  • Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
  • You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
  • I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
  • Hey baby, you've got something on your butt - my eyes!
  • This isn't a beer belly, It's a fuel tank for a love machine.
  • I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
  • Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.
  • if we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)
  • Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
  • If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
  • Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
  • See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.
  • Stare at girl . ("What're you staring at?")
  • You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.
  • You're hotter than donut grease.
  • Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
  • Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.
  • Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
  • If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
  • I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
  • I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
  • If you were a steak you would be well done.
  • It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
  • Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
  • Do you have any raisins? [No] How about a date?
  • Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.
  • Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!
  • Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
  • On The Phone
  • She/He says: "Hold on"
  • You Say: "Sorry, I can't hold on... I've already fallen for you."
  • Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!
  • Are you a microwave oven? Cause you melt my heart.
  • Did you get your license suspended for driving so many guys crazy?
  • Are you a girl scout, cause you tie my heart in knots.
  • You're so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
  • You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
  • Let's play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  • When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
  • Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

anonymous asked:

[ask-pokeys-bro] "Eh... excuse me, ma'am? Could you help me out, I'm... really really lost." That much sure was true, he'd never been in such a huge city before and had gravitated to what seemed to be the nicest/least-busy-looking person around.

Electra looked around. The poor child seemed to be all alone; there was no way she was going to leave him here.  ”Certainly, dear. I am very familiar with the city. We can get you something to eat at the bakery first, if you like.”
She extended her hand to him.

anonymous asked:

The pink-haired woman was lost, surprisingly. She continuously checked her map, but to no avail. There's gotta be someone around this city who could help her, right...? {lcvelykiller ; for chris?}

Chris was humming down the street but getting glares from everyone. It’s Detroit, he’s used to it. His bright, welcoming smile plastered permanently on his face.
He saw the girl and started to notices that she was struggling a bit. Looking at the map, he realized she might be lost. So from across the street, he shouted to her.
“HEY! ARE YOU LOST, MA'AM?”

@lcvelykiller