are you certified

quotes by my WFR instructor

“Skin: the original Gore-Tex.”
“By the end of this course, my goal is that you will all be geeky enough to carry gloves with you in your pockets at all time. Oh, Ship, you do? You’ve passed. Go home.”
“You don’t really need to know their actual body temperature to know if they have hypothermia. If they don’t try to stop you, they’re hypothermic.”
“You must always be careful moving them if you suspect a spinal injury. The good news is, if you paralyze them, they can’t punch you.”
“I am certified to choke babies.”
“I’m teaching you to beat babies and electrocute people.”
“You’re not legally supposed to do that, but it’s 2017, and Trump is president. You can do whatever you want, I guess.”

Harry Potter Spell Themed Asks


Accio :
If you could summon anything in the world right now what would it be?

Aguamenti: Do you like water?

Alohomora: Can you and have you, ever picked a lock?

Anapneo: Are you CPR certified?

Aparecium: On of a scale of Mr. Bean to 007 how much of a spy are you?

Avada Kedavra: If you could kill one single person, who would it be?

Avis: What’s your favorite kind of bird?

Brachiabindo: Have you ever been tied up before? What was the circumstance?

Capacious Extremis: If you could make one object bigger on the inside, what would the object be?

Cave Inimicum: You’ve got to fortify your room from zombies with only objects you have readily available. What do you use?

Colloportus: Have you ever locked yourself out of your own house before? If so, what did you do?

Confringo: Have you ever accidentally set fire to something?

Confundo : What confuses you most about the world?

Crucio: What’s the worst pain you’ve ever been in?

Deletrius: What’s the last thing that you did besides this?

Densaugeo: What’s the most extensive thing you’ve been to the dentist for?

Deprimo: Have you ever been knocked over by the wind before?

Descendo: What’s been a low point in your life?

Diffindo: When was the last time you ripped and article of clothing?

Engorgio: What’s the worst case of swelling you’ve ever experience?

Episkey: If you could heal anyone in the world right now, who would it be?

Expecto Patronum: What’s your happiest memory?

Expelliarmus: Have you ever had to disarm someone? If so, why?

Expulso: Have you ever made something explode? Explain how and why?

Ferula: Have you ever had to wear a brace? What happened?

Flagrate: If you could write one thing in the sky, what would it be?

Flipendo: Have you ever fallen down stairs before?

Fulgari: If you could be bond to one person, who would it be?

Furnunculus: How bad was your acne as a teenage?

Geminio: If you could have a single copy of something, anything, what would it be?

Glisseo: Water slide or playground slide?

Impedimenta: You can stop one person from coming near you, ever, like a permanent, unbreakable restraining order, who is it?

Imperio: You can have one person be your slave for a day without repercussion, who?

Impervius : In the middle of a storm would you rather have waterproof shoes, or a waterproof coat?

Incarcerous: Have you ever tied someone up?

Incendio: Do you like candles? If so, what’s your favorite smell?

Langlock: You can stop one person in the world from speaking. Who is it?

Legilimens: If you had the power to read minds for a day, would you use it?

Locomotor: You can chose one object to follow you around, what is it?

Lumos: Candle, Flashlight, Sunlight, Moonlight, or Bioluminescence? 

Meteolojinx Recanto: What’s your favorite type of weather?

Mobiliarbus: What’s your dream garden?

Molliare: Have you ever made a surprisingly soft landing when you were sure you’d break something? What happened?

Morsmordre: What would your signal in the sky be to mark your presence?

Muffliato: Have you ever eavesdropped on a conversation? What was it about?

Nox: Were you/are you, afraid of the dark?

Obliviate: What’s something you wish you could forget?

Obscuro: What’s a kink that you have? What about it excites you?

Oppugno: You’re about to be in a fight! The object directly to your left is what you have as a weapon! What is it and how would you use it?

Orchideous: What’s your favorite flower?

Pack: When’s the last time you did some packing?

Petrificus Totalus: Have you ever been/felt paralyzed?

Piertotum Locomotor: You can make one  object in your current room come to life, what is it?

Point Me: How easily do you get lost?

Portus: What object would you turn into a portkey and where would it take you?

Protego: You can protect one person from harm. Who?

Quietus: When was the last time you yelled at someone?

Reducio: What’s something you’d like to make bigger?

Reducto: You’ve got one chance to explode something without an consequences. What is it?

Rennervate: Have you ever passed out/fainted before? What happened?

Reparo: What’s one thing you’d like to fix?

Rictusempra: Where’s the most effective place to tickle you?

Riddikulus: What’s your greatest fear? Do you think you’ll be able to overcome it?

Scourgify: What’s something that you should clean up?

Sectumsempra: Have you ever hurt someone? What happened?

Serpensortia: Do you like snakes?

Silencio: How much “quiet time” on average, do you need in a day?

Sonorus: If you had a message you could say to the whole world. What would it be?

Specialis Revelio: If you could have a magical property, what would it be?

Stupefy: Do you think you’d be able to knock someone out?

Tarantallegra: What’s your favorite kind of dance?

Wingardium Leviosa: If you had the power of telekinesis, what would you do with it?

Shakespeare and Sin

In which Archie distracts the reader in the best way possible.

Pairing: Archie Andrews x Reader

Warnings: Smut, smut and more smut!

A/N: so I got a super positive response for me writing some riverdale smut and a request for some Archie x Reader so here it is. Pass me the holy water people!

You were sat at your desk desperately trying to finish your English essay whilst listening to the red-headed jock on your bed whine and groan about how bored he was. That boy was Archie Andrews – jock, musician and certified fuckboy. You weren’t really sure why he was there or what you were to him. All you knew was that despite his complete lack of judgement in sticky situations and his gullible nature, he was a total sweetheart and he liked you a lot. You were snapped out of your daze by the feeling of strong arms embracing you from behind and slightly chapped lips against your neck.

“You need a break…” he murmured against your skin, the vibrations sending shivers down your spine.

“I can’t…I have to finish this…” your voice trailed off as his lips found your ear, nibbling on the lobe lightly and eliciting a moan from your throat.

“Please (Y/N), can’t you just do it later?”

You were tempted and his breath on your skin clouded your judgement momentarily before you swallowed and composed yourself.

“Arch…I can’t,” you tried and failed to sound convincing and as you turned to attempt to look him in the eyes with faux sincerity he simply wet his lips and nodded. You turned back to your work, scanning the page trying to recollect your thoughts. You could feel Archie behind you still and you tried to ignore the sound of his heavy breathing and concentrate on the task at hand. His calloused hand came to rest on your shoulder and after a few seconds you noticed it inching further and further down. Your mouth became dry as his fingertips trailed down over your collarbone then further still. His finger circled around your nipple through the thin material of your tank top and your breath hitched in your throat. His finger didn’t linger though, it continued its path down your stomach and past your navel and heat flooded your cheeks the further south they got. The pressure between your legs built with anticipation and you clamped your thighs shut upon instinct. You swallowed the lump in your throat and he coaxed your legs apart slowly. Your arm curled behind you to grasp his neck and pull him in for a sloppy kiss, essay completely forgotten. How was it that he knew exactly what you wanted – exactly what you needed?

His long fingers began making slow, languid strokes against you, through your leggings and you bit your lip to stifle the moans threatening to escape your lips. His head rested in the crook of neck, sucking and biting on your sweet spot and leaving dark purple marks there. His hand drifted upwards to the waistband of your leggings and expertly slipped inside. The sudden skin-on-skin contact made you gasp and his palm flattened against you. Painfully slowly he slipped a finger into your entrance and you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning his name in sultry tone. This made him gasp and encouraged him to slip in another finger, keeping them still and teasing you mercilessly.

“Please Arch I-I need…” you stammered, bucking your hips against his fingers in a feeble attempt to gain some friction. He grinned boyishly at the effect he had on you and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek before pumping his fingers. You groaned, finally satisfied by the pleasure he was providing you. Apparently, Archie wasn’t because he moved his thumb to press on your most sensitive bundle of nerves. One of your hands clutched the arm of your desk-chair whilst the other rested behind his neck, tangling your fingers in his luscious red locks. He began to pick up his pace, thumb circling your clit furiously whilst he whispered unforgivable things in your ear. With one final curl of his fingers you came undone around him, walls clamping around his fingers and his name falling from your lips in a guttural moan. He continued his movements until you had ridden out your high, falling limp against the chair, utterly spent. You gazed up at him with a captivated smile and he returned your stare with a lopsided grin.

“Better than your essay?” he asked, biting his lip and raising his brows in childlike anticipation for your answer. You hand came to rest on your chin as you mocked contemplation.

“I dunno Arch, Shakespeare might have got the upper hand with this one,” his eyes lowered to look at the ground and he mumbled a disappointed “oh…” until you burst into a fit of giggles. “I’m kidding Archie! It was amazing…you are amazing.”

With that you leaped up from your seat and pulled him into a tight embrace, peppering him with quick kisses to which he laughed and returned them in response. You had fallen for this boy, hard and every second you were with him you seemed to fall harder.

anonymous asked:

what were your Thoughts™ about the angriest boy in the world??

gr8 question pal.., okay here we go >B3c 

  • I’m not sure if we should believe that The World’s Angriest Boy in the World is a real part of David’s past; it could be a reflection of a certain trauma.  e v i d e n c e :
  • the pose and face of “the boy” (holding the knife, angry expression) resembling an adult more than a child, which the title had suggested.
  • the angry boy’s pose resembling the stance of someone who was interrupted or surprised, if that makes sense; as if the angry boy had stabbed the mother and unexpectedly saw someone in the reader’s position(the angry boy’s body was turned away from the reader, the knife barely seen from behind his body… If this book could come to life, I predict that the next look on the angry boy’s face would be shock ‘cause of reasons i’ll describe in more depth later)
  • the title itself, The World’s Angriest Boy in the World, sounds like something a child thought up instead of an actual book title (world is repeated twice, general unusual-ness of the name). The title also reflects a theme that a child would clearly recognise: anger (a little more detail on that later). 
  • never see dad’s face, look up, angry boy}} body burried in country}
  • ☆  CONCLUSION: The world’s angriest boy in the world could be made up by David’s subconscious after a traumatising incident. David watching his father read this book aloud could actually be a projection of a fantasy book (World’s angriest boy)upon a realer memory(like David’s father reading him the tree little pigs or smthn). here’s the kicker: David may have witnessed his mother’s murder- a murder committed by his father. Here’s the theoretical run-down- David goes to sleep after being read a nice bedtime story by his father (yes something normal). David goes to sleep, hears a noise, wakes up, and walks downstairs; where he sees his dead mother on the ground and, standing before her,  his father. Maybe David makes a noise. Father heard the noise and turns around to see  David. THIS is the scene that probably traumatised David- his father holding a knife in his hand and turning to look at David, his angry expression still lingering. 
  • [[He might be angry for a couple reasons; angry at his wife, leading him to kill her, or angry at David for interrupting him
  • .and this is because of this sight’s horrifying impact on david, it stays deep in his subconscious, scarring him. BUT. a child’s mind is an interesting place. something too scarring will be blocked from memory, remaining locked deep within the mind and memories in order to protect the child. This means that all was fine and good for David and his forced amnesia until Ptonomy came along.
  • Ptonomy has the power to go deep within the mind, even, as he said, to memories of the womb. so when David remembers what was once a normal bedtime story (as we said before, three little pigs or something), his mind has the chance to project past events onto the book and remind David of what had happened. this could explain David’s shock at the events of the book, then panic attack, then reluctance to speak of the memory.

  • here’s a sketchy thing to remember: we never see the fathers face! he might look like the person in the angry boy book ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


    l;dr: The World’s Angriest Boy in the World was nonexistent and actually a projection of David’s traumatic childhood. 

THEN AGAIN this entire thing is probably way off… like I said, these are just thoughts :D

hah sorry anon I went a little overboard,, this is more of a ramble than a theory?? but thanks for the ask pal! I really love that you read my tags (high five  🙌)

2

When Min Yoongi does that with his face.

you don’t need to fit into anyone’s standards to be a “true, certified” aro. you don’t need to have a checklist of all the “signs” and mark every single one. you don’t need to relate to every aro experience you see or hear about. having romantic relationships in the past or even present doesn’t cancel you out from being on the aro spectrum. your feelings and experiences are unique and special, and just as important as everyone else’s. if you feel you are arospec, you can be arospec. you can identify as arospec.

and remember: it’s okay if you get it wrong. you’re not hurting anybody.

Friendly reminder that if you live in the United States and have a mental disability (including depression and anxiety/PTSD) you can have a pet animal regardless of your landlord’s pet policy and they cannot charge you a deposit or extra rent for having that animal provided your attending physician writes you a note certifying that your animal is necessary for the management of your disability. This kind of pet is known as an ‘emotional support animal’ and you can read more about them in the link.