are you bonafide

anonymous asked:

I’m so sorry if this has already been asked but... how do you respond to compliments positively instead of denying it? I’ve been trying to say “thank you” more, but that gets repetitive and I just wanna remind everyone how shitty I am

what’s helped me is asking this question to myself whenever i want to respond to praise negatively:

“how does this help me?”

because pretty much all the time, it doesn’t. if someone is giving you a real bonafide genuine compliment, denying it does two things. 1. make them feel sad for you 2. doesn’t actually make them believe that you’re shitty

because to them, you denying the compliment is you underestimating yourself. they’ll still believe their praise regardless, they’ll just feel sorry for you. they’ll feel bad, you’ll think you’re the worst for making them have to feel bad for you, the cycle continues.

when accepting compliments positively, it’s a process before you start to believe them. if someone says something nice to you, sometimes you have to grit your teeth and show appreciation, not refusal.

and appreciation doesn’t necessarily have to just be “thank you.” you can talk about the thing that they complimented you for and make it into a convo! 

like.

“your art looks so nice!”

instead of saying “no it’s nottt. it looks gross.” i say.

“thank you! i’ve been doing my style a bit different recently and trying to incorporate a better use of palettes, and practicing on drawing heads smaller to better proportion to the body. i’ve been drawing a lot of fantasy recently and have been really enjoying it. do you like fantasy?”

how has this conversation helped me instead of denying it? 

it showed confidence. it showed i was practicing and trying to improve. it showed i was experimenting, so the other person knows how much the compliment meant to me. it drew the other person into a convo we can both talk about.

if you spend all your time telling people how shitty you are, you’ll believe it more and more, and you’ll start to associate compliments with feeling bad about yourself. it’s an unhealthy mentality, and it does not help you in living your life.

youtube

This is beautiful.

HE’S BONAFIDE

sportalovely  asked:

sportarobbie fluff: Robbie tends to get a little touch starved and when it happens, he usually "accidentally" brushes up against sporp for that physical contact and eventually the sportsman catches on so whenever robbie goes and does that he just swoops in, picks him up and nuzzles into him (and probably carries him around for most of the day)

It gets to the point where as soon as Robbie comes into town, Sportacus stands uncomfortably close *just in case*. Some days Robbie just rolls his eyes and goes home but, as we all know, some days are harder than others. Sportacus will be doing stretching with the kids or something and Robbie just slogs over and lays his head in Sport’s lap. Sportacus cards a hand through Robbie’s hair and tells the kids to take it easy for the day.

Bonus: The New Favorite Game among the kids is to tackle hug Robbie after a scheme goes wrong, before he can disappear back into his lair.

This is So Pure I’m so grateful for this idea.

Apothecary Lesson #1: Herbal Salve

     Well, it was bound to happen at some point. Hello everybody, my name is Davide, and today, I’m going to teach you guys how to make a salve. Basically, a salve is an oil and wax mixture that people can use for a bunch of different reasons, ranging from dry skin to muscle rubs. They’re easy to make, if you’re patient, and their variability makes for endless possibilities. Just as a warning though, this will take a goddamn long time to make, and for you to read, so I suggest getting some tea and snackilackage before starting to read. Got it? Good, ¡vamos!


Part One: The Oil

     A key component of your salve is the oil, or more specifically, the herbs in said oil. There’s a plethora of different oils you could in your salve, but for this recipe, we’re using olive oil because it’s fairly hardy and difficult to burn. When it comes to what you should or could put in your oil, there’s waaaaaay too many things for me to mention, so I’ll give a basic rundown: 

  • Mint, Anise, Cinnamon, and Comfrey are good for muscle rubs
  • Calendula, Chamomile, Aloe, and Tea Tree Oil are good for skin
  • Ginger and Turmeric are good as arthritis pain relievers
  • Echinacea, Eucalyptus, and Hibiscus are antibacterial and are good for minor scrapes, cuts and bruises

Now that you’ve got an idea of some herbs to use, let’s get to how to make your oil 

Ingredients:

  • 12 oz. Olive oil
  • 3-4 oz. dried and/or ground herbs

Utensils:

  • Double-boiler set up (can be a double-boiler, or a glass container in a saucepan filled with about 1″ of water) 
  • dark-tinted jar w/ label for holding your finished oil

Instructions:

  1. Into your double-boiler (the part without the water…duh), pour in your olive oil and herbs. 
  2. Set your stove/heating receptacle to low heat, placing double-boiler on heat. 
  3. Infuse oils for 1-2 hours (one hour for minimum infusion amount, two hours for maximum infusion amount before oil goes rancid) 
  4. Once oil is done, pour into your dark-tinted jar, and label accordingly
  5. Voila! You have yourself some bonafide herbal oil for the next part of your salve!

Part Two: The Salve

     Alright, now we’re getting to the good stuff–the salve. For this, you’re going to need 2 ingredients (three ingredients is optional, four is overkill): beeswax and your herbal oil. Without further ado, let’s get this over with! :D 

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz. Beeswax
  • 8 oz. Herbal Oil 
  • *Optional*: ¼ tsp. essential oil
  • *Optional*: the tears and/or blood of your enemies

Utensils:

  • Double-boiler system
  • Containers to hold your salve (the total amount of salve being made is approximately 9 oz., so for the containers, try to prioritize. Like, if you want three different jars of salves, use three 3 oz. jars. Math n’ shit)

Instructions:

  1. Set your stove to medium-low heat
  2. Into your double-boiler, melt your wax
  3. Once the wax has melted–it’s imperative that your wax has to be completely melted before adding the oil–add your herbal oil. 
  4. Stir fully (it’s not weird to see the wax immediately harden once you add the herbal oil, so wait until it fully re-melts)
  5. Once salve is all liquid, pour into your container(s). Do not cover your containers before they harden.
  6. Once salve has cooled at room temperature, it’s ready to use! Store in a cool, dry place. Apply to problem areas, or just lather it all over your body and have really weird sex (You do you boo boo)

Thanks for reading you guys! I’d enjoy a reblog, a reshare, or if you hated it, a strongly worded message to me and probably a few images of you flipping the bird. Have an amazing day/afternoon/night/time-between-night-and-morning

Several things:

1. He may have been evil, but he was always sort of the “Bad Guy You Can’t Wait to See Come Around and Stick It To His Boss” kind of evil (come on, buddy, we have cookies and milk and freedom and flags, you know you want to spill some beans!), so I’m glad that he finally got to do what his evil boss denied him.

2. I hope he learned some things.

3. I love that CNN chose to use this “Like a Boss” picture.

4. Kellyanne is straight-up being a cryptid. Seriously, she looks like a demon that is hissing with rage because the Pope just laid hands upon Spicer and she can no longer touch him because he is a Free Man.

5. A Free Man who could easily help other Free Men and Free Women and maybe even get some cookies and a nice book deal. Who wants a book deal? Who wants a book deal?

Heartlines - Part 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: When Reader moves into Avengers Tower to finish her PhD in safety, the last thing she expects is to have something in common with the shy insomniac Bucky Barnes.

A/N: hi guys! so this is my first ever fic posted on tumblr! i hope you guys enjoy it, there’s a bit of set up in this part but i promise there’s more bucky action in the future! if you have any feedback pls hit me up, i appreciate any comments :) thanks for reading! t xx

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 5APart 6Part 7, and Part 8

Part 1

It’s not the first time you’ve been in the common kitchen at Avengers Tower, but it is your first time as a resident. Finally, officially, with your last box of sci-fi novels rescued from the wrong removalist van, you’ve moved into the Tower. The coffee from Tony’s state of the art machine has never tasted so good.

Tony rarely uses the kitchen for breakfast (he’s never around before noon) but today he’s made an exception. He’s not feeling so out of character as to put on actual clothes, and so while you’re in your usual pressed best, he is un-ironically wearing a matching Iron Man pyjamas set.

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Magical!SVT: Hoshi

Originally posted by 17-gif

lol 420 blaze it. for @dumbbelle my beautiful friend

  • of course, our kwon fire is more inclined towards fire magic
  • he’s from an old family of magicians and they were all elemental so it was always
  • ‘which element will our little soonyoung master??’
  • the kwons got their answer when hoshi almost burnt down the family farm
  • mom ran outside to find her 5 year old son sobbing and cradling the chickens
  • ‘BUT I JUST WANTED COCO TO BE WARM’
  • dad decided to make an ill-timed joke about having chicken for dinner. mom was not amused

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Welcome to our second vocab post, where you will find out that “is tomato a fruit or a vegetable?” was never really a question (in Tamil at least).

The word காய் [kaai] refers to both vegetables and unripe fruit. பழம் [pazham] means (ripe) fruit. In some cases, like the banana, the flower பூ [puu] is also used for cooking, and in the case of the banana, the leaf இலை [ilai] is used as a plate! Additionally, கிழங்கு [kilangu] refers to root vegetables/tubers.

These are used as suffixes to the name of the plant (மரம் [maram] meaning “tree”) they come from.

Using banana as an example (since we use all its parts):

  • வாழைப்பழம் - fruit [vaazhaippazham]
  • வாழைக்காய் - unripe fruit [vaazhaikkaai]
  • வாழையிலை - banana leaf [vaazhaiyilai]
  • வாழைப்பூ - banana flower [vaazhaipuu]
  • வாழை மரம் - banana tree [vaazhai maram]

Here are some common foods, both tropical & American.

Fruits:

  • Grape: முந்திரிப்பழம் [munthiripazham]
  • Pomegranate: மாதுளம்பழம் [maathulampazham - literally ‘woman’s heart-fruit’]
  • Mango: மாம்பழம் [maampazham]
    • Unripe mango: மாங்காய் [maangai, try it with chilli powder>>>]
  • Apple*: ஆப்பிள் [apple]
  • Orange*: ஆரஞ்சு [aaranju]
  • Woodapple: விளாம்பழம் [vilaampazham, I hope you never try this]
  • Pineapple: அன்னாசிப்பழம் [annaasippazham]
  • Tomato**: தக்காளிப்பழம்  [thakkaalippazham]
  • Sugar apple: அன்னமுன்னா [annamunna, included this bc it’s fun to say]
  • Guava: கொய்யாப்பழம் [goyyappazham]
  • Papaya: பப்பாளிப்பழம் [pappalipazham]

*loan words/foreign fruits. When in doubt, just use the English name (ex. kiwi, avocado).

**tomato is indeed a fruit but is used like a vegetable (thank god)

Vegetables:

  • Cucumber: வெள்ளரிக்காய் [vellarikkaai]
  • Eggplant: கத்திரிக்காய் [kathirikkaai]
  • Onion: வெங்காயம் [vengaayam, also an insult. use it wisely or u will cry]
  • Pumpkin: பூசணிக்காய் [puusanikkaai]
  • Coconut: தெங்காய் [thengaai]
  • Bitter gourd: பாவைக்காய் [paavaikkaai]
  • Okra: வெண்டிக்காய் [vendikkaai]
  • Drumstick: முருங்கைக்காய் [murungaikaai]
  • Yardlong/Asparagus bean: பயற்றங்காய் [payatrangkaai] [colloquial: payathangaai]

Root Vegetables/Tubers

  • Potato: உருளைக்கிழங்கு [urulaikkizhangu]
  • Carrot*: கேரட் [carrot]
  • Cassava: மரவள்ளிக்கிழங்கு [maravellikizhangu, a potato knockoff imo]
  • Purple yam: ராசவள்ளிக்கிழங்கு [raasavallikkizhangu]
  • Yam: கருணைக்கிழங்கு [karunaikkizhangu]

Now you are a bonafide chef - well, at least in vocab terms!

A Song We Used to Know: a Meredith Quill/Yondu friendship fanfic.

Based on this post I made. 

Warning: Contains a lot of spoilers. 


Meredith Quill was feeling melancholy. Being dead gave one a lot of time to reflect, and her mind was taking her back to memories she would much rather forget. She knew that she should try to be more like the others, and revel in being free from worldly woes and responsibilities, but even after nearly forty years, her heart still had a tie to the land of the living: her son. It was hard to be lighthearted and relaxed when she was always worried about him. 

She had her Walkman headphones on. Music usually helped when her spirits were low. She had only one tape, but it was a special one bequeathed to her when she first entered the afterlife, and she could make it play any song she wanted just by thinking of it. Having a vast and substantial store of songs in her memory, she never ran out of things to listen to, and she never got tired of the same old ones either. 

However, on that particular day, she was having trouble making the music play on her tape. It kept pausing and skipping, and the singing voices sounded gloomier than they should. She eventually gave up and pulled the headphones off, sighing. That’s when she felt a hand gently press her shoulder. 

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Why are you asking me for permission?

This post is a little bit out of the usual, but I’ve noticed a pattern in some of the asks I get. Sometimes people want to ask me not how to approach writing about something, or how to use a certain technique or how best to show off the research they’ve been doing, but whether or not they’re allowed to.

Questions about content are out of my purview, the focus of this blog is technical questions about writing, but I still get a fair number of asks wanting to know if it’s okay to write about certain topics/ in certain ways/ or to use certain styles. This can range from ‘is it okay to write a novel with nontraditional structure’ (yes, of course it is, structural experimentation is fine) to ‘is it okay to write about -thorny issue or content-’ (I can’t answer that, but if you look around there’s probably other blogs that will be able to help you answer this one yourself).

There’s been some discussion in the past about content/ trigger warnings [HERE], [HERE] & [HERE], and I think that this is relevant to what I’m trying to address here. People are often nervous about writing about ‘problematic’ issues or content. They want reassurance that they’re going about things the ‘right’ way, but quite often it’s going to be near to impossible for anyone (see: me!) to give you a 100% bonafide ruling on whether your Problematique Content™ is okay or not.

There are, of course some broad guidelines that you can follow yourself – does your MS present racist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, classist, etc ideas or narratives unchecked? Are you sure of that/ have you interrogated your own biases and sought out opinions from people who are part of the affected group (sensitivity readers*, etc)? And if you are not personally a part of that affected group, then is your story one that is going to support that group, or is it speaking over experiences from those people?

^Those are very general questions, and part of being a writer is to be reflective in your work, to consider what you write and the implications it might have. 

Sometimes we do want to write something horrific and brutal, and in those times we need more nuance, not less. Here the adage write what you know is vital – if you don’t know something through personal experience, then you had better be prepared to work very hard getting to know it through research. And if you do all your research and someone points out that you still screwed up? Keep working and learning, that’s all you can do.

Keeping in mind, of course, that writing a story is about problems. This post [HERE] has a great discussion of the matter. This section especially:

The story conceit is the pretty, flashy, Regency-Rococo frosting that you sink into because there’s a part of you that genuinely fucking enjoys the pretty dresses and serious manners and masc people in tight trousers, the part of you that maybe would fuck an elf. And there is no shame in that.

But despite what a lot of junior writers seem to believe, a story is not just the story conceit - you don’t make a book out of one pretty idea. You literally come up with something Problematic and then play with it. Harry Potter takes the conceit of a magical British boarding school with a distinct culture and specific rules, and gives you an abused outsider child who knows nothing of the culture, a child born outside of the culture, and a poor child born within the culture, and says “You’re at war. A civil war within the culture. Go. Break the rules.”

When you’re building your world it’s impossible to make it ‘unproblematic’. Life is messy, fiction is very messy. The thing is that you should try to be aware of the problems in what you’re writing and, if not addressing them, (because not all fiction is didactic moral school time) you should at least understand them and try to avoid writing stuff that actively perpetuates harmful ideas about real world people.

Notice, I say try to avoid. Because we all make mistakes. You can try to write the most perfect conceit in the world and still screw up monumentally if some element happens to fall in a place that you’re not aware of, it might be that you’re not even aware of a problem that you should have been reading up on until the piece is already posted and someone comes into your comments to say ‘wow, actually that part in chapter two was really offensive along x and y lines…’

And what do you do when that happens? Well, you could edit the work to reflect your new knowledge, you could leave it as-is with a note saying that you’ve been told about the problem and will work to correct it in future pieces, you could take the piece down and be more aware of that issue in your future projects. You won’t die from taking criticism – yes, it can feel awful to realise that something you’ve written is accidentally hurtful or harmful, but it won’t kill you**.

The main point of all of this, is to say: 

  • You will make mistakes. 
  • There is a lot that you’ll need to learn. 
  • There is no single authority (especially not me!) on ruling what is ‘allowed’ in your fiction.
  • You will have to take responsibility for the content that you create.
  • If you work hard and in good faith, you can write about almost any difficult topic.

And lastly, I know that it can be frightening to think that people might read your work and get the wrong idea about you as a person. Believe me, worrying about reactions to my writing is one of the main issues that gets me stuck in ‘writers block’, but the thing is there’s nothing saying that anyone has to read it at all. Counterintuitive? Maybe. But you can write about anything that you can think of, and you don’t need to publish it.

Go ahead, write the thing that’s eating your brain. Does it turn out to be too much? Does it say things that you’re not certain you want people to see? Fine. Good. You’re learning about yourself and your writing. Store that in your ‘practice’ folder and think about why you had the reaction to it that you did. Maybe someday you can rework it into something that you do want people to read.

Got a question about whether you’re allowed to write about something? Well you’re the only person who can find the answer to that.

Got a question about how to get your idea on the page? Now that’s what I can help you with.

(* Please make sure that the person that you’re asking is okay with being a sounding board/ answering your questions – there are paid sensitivity readers, and there are many blogs dedicated to many different facets of the human experience – don’t just find some random person that fits the demographic you want to write about and start demanding answers from them if they haven’t volunteered to help you!)

(** if you’re sent threats of violence, death threats, or instructions to kill yourself over something you’ve written, that’s illegal and you should report the people doing it to the site/ the proper authorities)

Lovelorn || pt. 2

Member: Jung Hoseok
Genre: some fluff and a whole lotta angst
Summary: It’s been a year since you and Hoseok called things off to avoid hurting your brother, Yoongi. Moving on’s been harder than you thought. 
Word Count: 3.6k 
Other parts: pt. 1 || pt. 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5 || pt. 6 || pt. 7 || pt. 8 || pt. 9 || pt.10 || pt. 11
Edited: 6/30

You weren’t exactly successful in love.

You’d dated a few people here and there, trying to find some semblance of a meaningful relationship. It never really worked out. You were always amicable about it, and you seemed to only choose boys with a penchant for being understanding, but you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. You told yourself sometimes that it was okay; that it was just because you were teenagers, and you didn’t know who you were yet, so trying to start a deep relationship wasn’t always going to work. But you also knew that a large part of it was because of Hoseok.

Other people just didn’t seem to compare. It wasn’t an active judgement on your part; it just seemed to stick in the back of your mind, hovering like an unwanted guest who’d overstayed their welcome. And your feelings had overstayed their welcome. You should have been over him last year. You should have been over him when he stopped talking to you. But you just didn’t seem to budge. You despised yourself for that.

You’d stayed away from your brother’s friends after what happened with Hoseok. It wasn’t that you thought you were going to fall in love with another one of them (Hoseok had set too high a standard among Yoongi’s circle), but you’d preferred to separate yourself from his private life as much as possible. You thought it was paranoia at first, but it didn’t consume your thoughts enough to be considered a real problem. If you stayed away from his friends, nothing would ever become messy like that. Your private lives were separate; over the course of one year, you’d managed to establish a social life of your own. You looked for people in your own grade, or people outside of school. Anyone but Hoseok. Not that anything lasted more than a month.

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You’re Not Making The Most Out Of Your 20’s

It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.

A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.

Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.

You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is to fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is to remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.

You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.

Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.

I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day, but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.

You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight, but it can and will happen if you want it.

Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?

We shall see. 

BAMF

Originally posted by schweinderlin

Fandom: Brooklyn Nine Nine

Pairing: Platonic Jake Peralta x Reader

Warning: N/A

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @thequeenofthehobbits

Summary/Request: Requested by @atiekaysayshi:  Hi! Could you do a platonic Jake Peralta one shot where the reader is super shy at the precinct but a bamf when in the field and reader and Jake have to work together on a case and he thinks they’ll slow him down but it’s the opposite? Thank you!

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