are you amused by this

you know what else i’ve found amusing? every time the baby is brought up, steve just stays mute like he doesn’t chime in about how cute he is or how good a dad louis is.. like normal things your friend would do when you talk about your kid??

edwardscrushablephone  asked:

I know you're studying reproductive biology and all- but have you actually ever, you know - been pregnant? Because you don't know jack until you actual have a kid in there.

This is such an amusing message to get after a long, hard day at the office working on my masters thesis. 

Please explain to me how my uterus and brain are linked? Because I’m super curious as to how having an embryo lodge in my uterine lining is supposed to alter my ability to learn and remember scientific concepts. 

Did I imagine taking several years of classes on the anatomy and physiology of human reproduction? 

Was my first publication, in a journal literally called “Human Reproduction”, just a dream? 

Am I in the matrix?! Save me, Morpheus!

London’s Calling

1 || 2 || 3 || 

Chapter Four: Time Difference

Word Count: 1623

☏ ☏ ☏ ☏

“Wake up, Riley,” Cory gently shakes his daughter. 

“But it’s so early,” Riley groans, pulling the blanket over her face. 

“It’s the afternoon, honey,” Cory chuckles, “You have to get up or this jet lag will last longer than it has to." 

Riley throws her blanket down in shock, "The afternoon?!" 

“It’s just after two,” Cory is amused at his confused daughter. 

“How could you let me sleep so long?” Riley gasps frantically reaching for her phone. 

“Riley, you were exhausted,” Cory frowns but Riley’s already too distracted with the dozens of messages from her friends she received during her slumber. Cory sighs heavily and stands up from where he sat at her hip. "Don’t be too long, Riley. Get changed so we can go sightseeing." 

Riley nods and quickly gets ready, as lousy as being ripped away from her friends was, she was quietly excited to see London. Riley exits the room in which she sleeps and goes out into the living space of the hotel. Cory and Auggie are sitting on the floral sofa waiting for Riley. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

In she don't like me Maya and Lucas were the only ones that weren't horrified by the sex talk and were even amused by it. Do you think this is meant to show that they're the most mature out of the six or is it just because they're the only ones who've had their hormonal telegram with each other (the campfire)

I definitely think the scene is telling in terms of where the kids’ maturity levels are when it comes to that sort of thing.

Farkle and Riley are a mess. Which, given their characterizations, makes sense. Zay is both intrigued and horrified. Again, makes sense. Smackle knows it all and isn’t fazed because, well, she’s a genius. Speaking scientifically, it’s old hat.

Then, you have Maya, who’s so intrigued she’s taking notes and Lucas who’s unfazed, if a little smirk-ish about it.

And it definitely speaks to the idea that they’re not as uncomfortable with the whole thing as their friends are. Why is that? Well, the hormonal telegram could definitely have something to do with it. They’ve also had the most overtly physical moment between any of the clique six, so there seems to be a maturity in their relationship that hasn’t quite been shown with anyone else.

Honestly, it brings to mind the opening scene in GMHS2.

“They’re way more advanced in high school. We’re middle school hand holders.”

Riley & Lucas have been shown to be middle school hand holders, but Lucas and Maya have been shown to have the propensity to be a bit more advanced than that given time…

Originally posted by theowldetective

Also, speaking of GMHS…

Worth the Extra Fuss Excerpt

Find on AO3 or FFnet. 9.5k. Explicit. I got a fantastic review this morning that prompted me to re-read it and remember why I love it so much. So yeah, I’m posting an excerpt, just cos I can.


“There’s a reason I only bottom for people I’m dating,” Draco muttered. “It’s too much fuss to handle with a stranger or a casual acquaintance.”

“Why me then?” Harry asked, trying not to feel excited by what that might mean.

“You’re you.”

Harry scowled into the darkness. “If that is some Boy Who Lived shite, you can—”

“Calm down,” Draco said, sounding amused again. “I’ve never given two shits about your fame, you know that.”

“What does that mean then?”

“It means, I know you fairly well,” Draco said, “even after all these years. I knew you wouldn’t be a prat about it, or go telling anyone, if you decided you didn’t want to deal with the extra effort. And I trusted you to take your time if you did still want to.”

Harry brushed his thumb over Draco’s jaw again. He liked hearing that, even though he thought it was strange. They’d been at a truce by the end of their eighth year, and had spent some time together. They’d been edging towards friendship, but hadn’t quite got there. For Draco to feel that way…

“That’s a lot of trust for someone you were never really friends with,” he said softly. “You must have really wanted me to shag you tonight.”

“Your obliviousness is usually a lot more amusing,” Draco muttered. “I was fantasising about shagging you long before I even stopped hating you. We never became friends in eighth year because I was afraid I’d embarrass myself by dragging you into an empty classroom, and trying to snog you senseless if we spent any more time together. As far as I knew, you were straight.”

“I wouldn’t have been put off by your condition,” Harry said softly, struggling to comprehend what Draco had just said. It made the way he’d held Harry’s hand while they’d shagged make a lot more sense. It sounded like Draco had been pining after him, just a little. “I like to both give and take it.”

“It hardly matters,” Draco said, sighing. “That was years ago. I was only joking about the blowjob, but then you actually wanted to. I gave in because it was a chance to fulfil a fantasy. This was…a window into the past, really.”

Harry felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. He’d rather thought that conversation was going in a different direction. It was true, four years had passed, and Draco could be a completely different person now. But he had missed him, and he had wanted them to stay in touch, only he’d been too afraid to make the first contact after Draco had left. He regretted that now.

“I can leave now, if you want,” he said softly, trying not to sound too disappointed. “Don’t feel like you have to let me stay.”

“The sex was a window into the past,” Draco said, firmly. “I’m going to shag you into the mattress in the morning, and then I’m going to take you out for breakfast.”

Harry raised an eyebrow, even though Draco wouldn’t be able to see it. “Will you now?”

“Pansy seems to have kept you up to date with my life, but I know only what I’ve read in the papers about you. Time to get to know you again. But don’t worry,” Draco said, starting to sound sleepy, “we can go somewhere muggle so the papers don’t know. I have no clue how you kept shagging blokes a secret, but I won’t spoil it for you.”

Harry felt giddy all of a sudden. Everything had turned back around again. As he tried to think of a response that wouldn’t make him sound too eager, he felt Draco’s hand find his face. Fingers trailed over it, mapping his expression.

“We don’t have to,” Draco said. “Only, I rather thought you were wanting more than just a shag? That was the impression I got at least.”

“I thought you were only after a shag,” Harry replied.

Draco shifted, and their noses bumped awkwardly, before their lips met. Harry sighed into the kiss. It was slow and gentle, and felt as intimate as the way they’d shagged. Not entirely what he’d expected from Draco, but a pleasant surprise.

“I was, but I’m rather curious now,” Draco said, keeping their foreheads pressed together, but ending the kiss. “I want to see if we can pick up where we were at the end of Hogwarts, before I went to Germany. I’m curious to see where that goes.”

“Breakfast tomorrow then?” Harry asked, smiling.

Read the whole fic on AO3

anonymous asked:

Lena as a low key Star Wars fan would include

Originally posted by swallowedabug

Lena Luthor as a lowkey Star Wars fan would include:

-she makes offhand references all the time

-thinks you don’t notice it but you do 

-sometimes you’ll do it too and she’ll just look down at her feet and try not to look as amused as she is

-for halloween she begs you to dress up as Han Solo and P. Leia for halloween and she gets so turned on by it

-you buy her a stormtrooper mug for christmas and she drinks her coffee out of it every morning

Spencer Reid drabble #91

91 with Reid x

I think the roof is leaking, or it might just be raining inside.

Originally posted by toyboxboy

“How much longer till they get us out of here?” you whispered. “Morgan said they were on their way” Reid replied checking his watch. The both of you had followed the unsub to his house, you’d thought you’d cleared the room. Only to be shoved into the basement and locked in. With rats ,and spiders ,and darkness, and..” Are you okay?” Reid ask,seeing the look of worry on your face “Who me,fine. Totally fine. Say, I think the roof is leaking, or it might just be raining inside.” you rambled, rubbing your hands across the sides of your arms, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s probably a leaky pipe” he said amused at the way you jumped when another drop of water hit your face. “Oh, okay. That makes sense” you nodded furiously,biting your lip. “Are you afraid of the dark?” he asked. “Reid, I’m a grown woman. I have faced serial killers, rapists and psycho puppeteers. I am not afraid off..”.

“There’s a spider on your head!” You screamed and jumped, batting your hair furiously. “Is it gone is it?” Your fear was replaced by anger when the doctor broke out into laughter, clutching his sides and stumbling back a you punched the side of his arm. “Reid I’m going to kill you!!”

Gold Medals (Reader x Marcus Volturi)

Originally posted by thedrunkninja

Originally posted by thedrunkninja

Originally posted by phantom-evil

You would be the newest addition to the Volturi.
It had been decided a few weeks prior. They decided your skill would be useful upon occasion, it was certainly amusing. When you were bored, which was often, you’d be flipping all over the place. Dare you say it but you may have improved your balance.

As you did a backhand spring onto the dining table. You felt accomplished. No scratches, no mess. Happy you. Happy mate with happy brothers along with a happy guard. Or at least you thought. Vampires have super-sight. They could see every mark made. So as you flipped and rolled you left marks in various objects.
They were proud of you but damn the mess you leave behind.
“I’m proud of them but if they could keep the rooms as clean as their medal, I’d be much happier.“ Caius sighed.
They decided to seek you out to clean the place.

The leaders found you bent in an awkward way before rolling out of it. “Sweetheart, I adore your contentment but you need to clean up after yourself.” Marcus said, affectionately stroking your cheek. Your face fell into one of boredom at the very thought of cleaning. “Fine~” you groaned.

After a while, news spread world wide that you, the gold medalist gymnast was missing. Of course you’d never be found, however it was still painful to watch the suffering.

After your change no one saw you again.
Some thought you died, some thought you were locked away with the other wives.
The truth was that people had seen you, they just didn’t live to tell the tale.

So it was no surprise when Toshiro’s eyes widened seeing your silhouette in the distance bending back onto your hands and swinging your legs over the opposite side.
He was the most recent to see you.
You never actually killed any of the people who see you. The Volturi guard killed them. The leaders didn’t want anyone knowing about you since you weren’t locked up and instead out in the open. Each vampire who did see you was going to die anyway and your sighting just meant another reason to their death.

anonymous asked:

Good point, but that raises a different question, do you think Sangwoo is falling for Yoonbum or do you think this is all made to unnerve him. Because I could see Sangwoo switching from "I love you, never leave, I can support you" to "I can't believe you're this worthless even after all I do for you" just to mess with Yoon Bum and making him easier to manipulate and to gauge reactions for his own amusement. Can't you?

I think Sangwoo is falling in love with the idea of someone knowing everything he does and still being “in love” with him. He’s been shown something through Bum that I’m pretty sure he’s never dealt with before. All of the victims that we’ve seen so far have always yelled for him to stay away and to leave them alone, but Bum’s been the first one to actually call to Sangwoo to save him when Sangwoo is the one putting him through these things in the first place. 

I think he’s getting some crazy power trip from this and inflating his already big enough ego. I honest to god think that Sangwoo really believes Bum is really in love with him and that Bum’s always going to love him and I think he’s using that to really manipulate Bum more so than trying to unnerve him. Constantly reminding Bum that he’s worthless without him is probably a twisted way of him saying “You love me for this” and to me that seems much more dangerous than someone who’s aware that Bum is literally trying to do whatever he can to ensure less punishment and pain. 

Sangwoo to me at least seems to be getting more and more unstable the more Bum feeds into his power hungry ego. 

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR

PART FIVE

You swallowed the lump in your throat, this whole situation felt like you had been dropped onto ice that was already cracked by others.

“You’re going to tell me a little about yourself and your group.” Negan said or rather, demanded. Frowning slightly at this order. “Why would a captor want to know anything about his hostages?” You asked brashly, holding his amused look with your own scowl.

He chuckled. “I’m sure you boys will do something to change her insolent behavior.” Negan said as he looked over at the other men in the room. This was your breaking point.

“Stop treating me like a child, I am a capable woman.” You snapped, standing up from your chair so fast it made a screeching sound on the floor below. Negan looked stunned for a moment, Dean was shocked and Sam looked briefly scared for you. 

Negan chuckled. “This one’s got fire.” He said simply, making you ball your fists and scowl at him. “You can all leave now.” 

You stayed standing, glaring, it wasn’t till you heard Dean whisper something that didn’t process fully into your ear, you were sure it was something reassuring from the tone. His voice managed to pull you away but you were still shaking with anger as you left. 

When you reached the room you first met the boys in and after they had closed the door, Sammy awkwardly put his arms around you. “I’m sorry you had to meet him.” He mumbled, his lips just brushing the tip of your ear. Feeling yourself become more relaxed in his strong arms you lent back into him, closing your eyes momentarily. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Dean said as he came up to you and caressed your cheek soothingly. “Why don’t you go take a shower?” He offered, the sound of that sounded amazing, you couldn’t remember the last time you had one.

You nodded and gently removed Sam’s hands from around your waist after giving them a grateful squeeze. “Thank you, so much.” You said as your reached the corner that lead to the corridor with all their rooms. 

Sam gave you a small smile and Dean gave a nod. With a smile you turned the corner and walked into one of their rooms, in your still angered state you didn’t know and didn’t really care.

Upon entering the bathroom, you noted that it’s interior was reasonably modern and also clean. Closing the door behind you and ridding yourself of your clothing, you turned on the shower after setting out a towel for later.

Stepping inside the plastic tub, you were instantly reminded of the glorious feeling of basking under the spray of water, reaching your hands up and slicking back your hair, you let out a sigh of relief, making you feel like you had lost every worry and every weight on your chest.

The illusion of tranquility was broken by hearing the door open. In a moment of panic, you covered yourself with the shower curtain and peered out to see who it was.

 You calmed down when you saw

A/N: AHHH WHO’S IT GOING TO BE?? MESSAGE ME TO VOTE FOR SAM OR DEAN. SENDING POSITIVE VIBES LOVES.

SERIES TAGS:  @mypopculturediva@aingealcethlenn@thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues @deelaurel @p4labras-0cultas @burbotignis  @fandomtrasshftw

Evelyn Williams: You’re inhuman.

Patrick Bateman: No… I’m in touch with humanity.


Dr. Doom: My greatest flaw–I surround myself with idiots.


Lestat: I’m Gentleman Death in silk and lace, come to put out the candles. The canker in the heart of the rose.


Mr. Blonde: I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don’t know, but I’m gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It’s amusing to me.


Envy: Wow! You’ve heard of me! I’m flattered. Nice to meet you, Colonel.


Col. Hans Landa: You’re now in the hands of the SS. My hands, to be exact. And they’ve been waiting a long time to touch you. Ah–caught you flinching.

anonymous asked:

Do you ever find it odd that people like to have tiny yous made for them. Not odd in a bad way but more bemused? Or do you find it endearingly human? Amusing? Pleasing because it means the like/admire you? Some other emotion?

A mixture. In point of fact, I advocate them. I view it as a helpful tool. Pocket Simon is merely a physical representation of my voice, the voice that my closest readers begin to hear in their minds– that mock-up of me that convinces them to be honest and true, to take care, to eat unusual things. To me there is no surprise that they should want a physical component.

I have long thought dolls an oddity, but I see it now simply as a human tool to consider itself. Much like fiction. Dolls are a figment, a character representing the human or humans around them. It allows for scenarios to be enacted, gives one a face to confront when the real individual is not present.

I am happy to earn admiration. I do not like being idolized without interaction. I do not like mysticism nor advocate unhealthy fixation. I am not special simply because I am different. I am me, and I do “me” things. If these things seem worthy of companionship, then so be it. You cannot have me, if my grand work is to be accomplished (and I say “grand” as an indication of scale, not import). This is why the Pocket Simons are only given to those readers who spend the greatest time coming to know me.

I do find them very amusing, and in fact, own the very first one.

anonymous asked:

Digger's s/o leaves for a business trip for a few days and he whines so much, he calls them everyday and is begging for her to come home cause he's lonely and his hands can only do so much, poor boy can only go so long without sex

Tbh he’d call his s/o with his dick in hand. 


“Hey Baby!” You’d answer the phone, excited to talk to your boyfriend after a long week of work. You laid in your hotel bed with an amused smile on your face. This is the first time you’d actually had time to talk to him all week! “I miss you so much!”

“Yea..” You heard him grunt, followed by a deep breath. “Listen darlin’… I miss ya too much,, it hurts..”

“Oh, Digg, calm down.. It’s only been five days.” You chimed and snuggled into the pillow. “I miss you too.”

“I miss that cute ol’ smile..” Digger chuckled before groaning slightly. “And that nice round ass of yers..” A staggered breath left his lips. A breath that sounded oh too familiar.

“D-Digger.. Digger are you jerking off?

All you could hear was his deep breathing. “Baby, I’ve missed you so much… Com’on, talk dirty to me, your man is all lonesome..”

“Fuck Digger, are you se-”

“Yes, curse at me, love.. You know I love how you talk..” He inhaled, the trace of a groan behind withheld. “You know I fuckin’ love it when you curse at me..”

“God dammit Digger..”

Originally posted by heartofdevastation

Originally posted by frozen-delight

(How adorable does he look in this gif?!😍 here you go @roxy-davenport sorry for any typos I’m writing these on my phone rn)

“Now this case is over, does that mean yours and Dean’s bet is off?” Sam gave you an amused look as the two of you stood by the impala waiting for Dean to come back with the take out coffees.

Ah yeah. The bet. You and Dean had had a slight disagreement over this hunt, you were sure that the werewolf causing the killings in town was the shady woman you’d questioned at the morgue, while Dean was adamant that it was the cop you’d first met at the scene. So, Dean had suggested placing a bet. Whoever lost had to take the other out for dinner and drinks.

Turns out, the woman from the morgue was just being moody as hell towards you because she had the hots for Dean, automatically thinking you two were an item. She’d called him just as you’d wrapped the hunt and taken care of the actual werewolf (who was in fact the cop) asking Dean if he was free to meet, but he made some excuse that he already had plans.

You let out a huff, rolling your eyes at your friend. “He’s never going to let me live this down, y'know?”

Sam let out a soft chuckle. “Don’t take it to heart. Beside, losing this bet might mean you two will finally share your feelings,” he gave you a grin before you elbowed him in the side, a short grunt leaving his lips.

“So,” Dean gave you that little head tilt and killer smile as he reached the two of you and handed you both a drink each, “Where are you taking me tonight, sweetheart?”

2

Cole approached his mother quite suddenly and unexpectedly on an overcast Tuesday afternoon. As though the stormclouds were reflected in his face, he sat down, his fists balled on his thighs.

“I have an announcement,” he said loudly, causing Rajni and Honey - who were the only ones in the room at the time - to turn and look at him.

“What is it?” asked his mother, curious as to what could cause Cole to act like that.

Cole took a deep breath. “I am in love with a girl.”

For a moment there was only silence.

And then Honey gasped, part way between shock and delight, not sure whether to be amused or horrified. “A girl!” she replied. “You’ve got a crush?”

Cole nodded solemnly.

“You act as though this is a bad thing,” Rajni said. “It isn’t. Who is she?”

Cole scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, and Rajni immediately realised that he hadn’t told them everything. “I… well, they were offering free tutoring in class and… Bella was going to tutor, so…”

“She’s your tutor?” Honey finished for him. Cole nodded, and Honey and Rajni exchanged a glance. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to meet her.”

To Ellenya

Still new to Tumblr
(I write a daily log)
People rhyme on your blog
I would like to join along
I’m alone, not for long
We can sing silly songs
Can’t go wrong
Your rhymes are strong
And make me respond

Running loose on route in blue boots through the spruce drinking honeydew juice with a shrewd moose named Zeus on pursuit looking for fruits to remove in a pond

When the astute moose said
“No excuse, include yourself! You, who is amused by a moose but won’t introduce, now is your cue!”

“I’m a habitude recluse, awkward and abstruse” I told him

And he said
“It’s no use, and you must be confused because I’m just a ewe”

i just had the stupidest fucking idea of team voltron hanging out on a ice planet for whatever reason and someone daring someone to lick shiro’s arm to see if ur tongue gets stuck to it and it DOES and someone is just stuck to shiro’s arm at the awkwardest fucking angle ever and the mission is literally called off because everones laughing so hard even shiro except the person whos tongue is stuck is just crying but in hindsight is rly fucking hilarious