are we surprised at all

just saw baby driver and now all i wanna do is drive fast and go on a date with a cute person from a diner. and also f*** jon hamm.

4

7 am enterprise tours are a mistake.

i just wanted to draw bones spitting out his coffee and giving jim a hard time. why not do both

So about those space orcs...

I’ve seen a lot of posts about humans pack-bonding with frankly everything, no matter how big, scary, threatening, lethal or oozy.

But you know what I haven’t seen?

Humans entrusting their young to their pack-bonded friends. Because that’s a thing we do. We entrust our children to our friends. We entrust our children to our dogs. We befriend the biggest, meanest, scariest shit, and then we dump our defenseless, hasn’t-even-got-a-fully-fused-skull-yet offspring on them. Half for shits-and-giggles, half because it’s cute, mostly because children are exhausting and we need a nanny.

Keep reading

Bulletproof Monk

Witnessed in my friend’s campaign.

Friend of mine asked the GM if his friend could join our campaign. Graduated with a bachelors in fine arts and my friend thought he would bring interesting role-play to our games. So all of us start thinking to ourselves “this guys gonna be at Bard” but we were all surprised to find he actually was a Monk.

And not just a monk. The Bob Ross of monks. The nicest yet simultaneously the most terrifying character we’d ever witnessed. This is the story of how he beat the first serious boss of our campaign.

We were pinned behind cover vs a Gunslinger.

Gunslinger: “Come out. Come out. Wherever you are SO I CAN SHOOT YOU!”

Party talks about what to do and Monk is silent.

Then, as we are talking, he yells, “Ok. I’ll come out, but you better make that shot count!”

Monk OOC: “So there’s about 40 ft between me and him right?”

GM: “Yeah, and your speed would let you get there.”

Monk OOC: “Ok, but I deliberately want to walk slow enough so he gets a chance to shoot me.”

GM: “Uh, ok. Sure.”

Monk going towards him slowly: “Show me what you’ve got.”

Gunslinger: “You’re some kind of stupid, boy!” *Shoots*

GM: “That’s a hit. You take.”

Monk OOC: “I use Snatch Arrows.”

GM: “Wait…does that work on bullets?”

-One Rulebook Check later-

GM: “Ok so the rifle goes off and *Monk* reaches up faster than any of you can see and catches the bullet with two fingers. *Gunslinger* turns white as a sheet.”

Monk then proceeds to walk up and take a seat next to the guy, putting an arm around his shoulders while holding the bullet in his other hand.

Monk: “Hey, friend. Looks like you almost lost this. Good thing I grabbed it for you, huh? Why don’t you put the gun down before you lose any more?”

Monk OOC: “In case it’s not clear that’s an intimidate.”

GM: “Ok, roll for me.”

Nat 20

GM: “Of course it is. *Gunslinger* immediately puts his gun down in front of him and actually starts crying.”

Monk patting Gunslinger’s back: “Aw, there, there buddy. You almost got me. Why don’t you come with us now? Hands behind your back please. I’d hate to have to chase you.”

Our Wizard OOC to my friend: “So why did you never tell us your friend was Ace Ventura?”

The Fic Writer’s Beatitudes

Blessed are the readers, for theirs is the archive.

Blessed are the betas: for they help us write the stories we see in our hearts.
Blessed are they that kudo, for they reassure us that someone likes what we’ve done.
Blessed are the rebloggers and reccers, for they help the readers find our work.
Blessed are they which leave comments on a WIP that say something other than “write more please”: for they comfort us when we feel taken for granted.
Blessed are the commenters; for their words bring us joy.
Blessed are the loyal fans, for they keep the fandom alive.
Blessed are the fan artists, for they bring our worlds to life before our eyes.
Blessed are they which read an entire long fic and comment each chapter, for the string of comment notifications fills the writer’s heart with delight.
Blessed are ye, who rec our fics in public and tag us, for seeing that we made somebody squee is the light in our days.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in fandom.

I KNOW EVERYONE IS EXCITED FOR THE NEW ROUTE BUT CAN I JUST POINT OUT THIS

There are FOUR empty circles in the contacts. On a messenger only the RFA can use. So it is not regular phone contacts that are empty.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS ACTUALLY MEANS OR I COULD BE OVERREACTING AND HIGH ON CHIPS

@mysplaced-pen Cat mom, do you have any input on this or am I just crazy?

  • -Sasuke is walking Sarada to the academy, has her wrapped in his cloak, only her head is sticking out-
  • Sarada: Papa c'mon, this is so humiliating.
  • Sasuke: I'll keep following you around like that until you change your outfit.
  • Sarada: But papa, short dresses are trendy now!
  • Sasuke: Not on my watch. As a shinobi you should dress decently.
  • Sarada: You are the one to talk about dress-code! Mama showed me the outfit you wore at sixteen. Even aunt Tsunade doesn't show so much cleavage. And that purple rope...! (starts laughing)
  • Sasuke: ...Your mother keeps undermining my authority.

Honestly if it wasn’t for Sanvers I would not be watching Supergirl right now. The writers are fucking everything up. What the hell is going on???? There’s so many plotlines that couldn’t even be connected with a 10 foot pole. Not to mention the total erasure of Kara’s independent stories. Now its all about liking Mon-El who is an absolutely horrible person. Are they forgetting the fact that he literally is still lying to everyone about his origins?

And please miss me with that ooc characterization of Alex. She would never fucking ditch Kara on her earth birthday, no matter which fucking concert is happening. She’d more likely go out with Kara and bring Maggie along. And she would NEVER ENCOURAGE KARA TO DATE A FUCKBOY WTF

And we all know what changed. I can’t say I’m surprised that moving to CW also meant bad plots and cliche straight-white romances but I’d like them to stop ruining this beautiful show.

Sherlolly:
a story even shippers weren’t really quite expecting

First Season:
Black, two sugar. BTW I’m manipulating you.

Second Season:
I don’t count? I don’t cOUNT? WHERE THE HECK DID U GET THAT IMPRESSION YOUNG LADY??!?! You do count. Now that we established that… would you mind help me fake my death? I need you.

Third Season:
Help me solve cases because I’m not good with thank yous. Also… you’re the one who matters the most. Chips?

Fourth Season:
fuck, okay, I love you. There. I said it. Wait.. oh shit. I love you.

2

kings rising ch16: nikandros is a bro pt 2 (pt 1)

MRM 10--3x02











Is it? DO MY FUCKING EYES DECEIVE ME?! MICKEY?!



THAT’S WHAT I FUCKING SAD IAN WEREN’T YOU LISTENING!?



NO YOU IDIOT WEREN’T YOU LISTENING?!







And Ian ain’t even doing anything to help him?!



I mean… Are you surprised?



Alright, we all know what that means Mickey, don’t even pretend….











Keep reading