“Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
“You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
“What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
“I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
“If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
“What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
“I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
“I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
“You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
“I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
“What is this, a concert for ants???”
“I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
“When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
“The wolves eat tonight.”
“Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
"When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
“Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
“How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
“I think I misplaced my right hand”
“I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
“Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
“Have your eyes always been that colour?”
“I’m going to fight the sun!”
“You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
“I’m not into that kinda thing.”
“Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
“I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
“Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
“Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
“What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
“What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
“Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
“Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
“This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
“Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
“ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
“Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
“Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
“Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
“Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
“Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?”
“Why would that surprise you?”
“It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
“okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
“I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
“I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
"Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
“how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
“…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
“For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
“Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
“Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
“_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
“What the heck happened while I was at the store?
"What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
“Despreate times call for cows.”
“Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
“You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
“Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
“Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
“Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
“I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
“I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
“I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
“Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
“So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
“dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
“Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
“What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
“PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
“PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
“What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
“Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
“You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
“Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
“Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
“So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
“Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
“Tell me why, exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
“Look, I’m not a liar, alright? And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me. So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now. And maybe a million dollars.”
“Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
“Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
“Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
“Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
“Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
“This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
“So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
“Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
“Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
“I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
“Every time you speak I literally die a little”
“One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”
“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)
It might sound strange, but Harry Styles is a duck. I know, sounds crazy, right? But hear me out.
Harry Styles was born on February 1st 1994 in Redditch, England. Redditch has a beautiful lake called arrow valley, where you can find many ducks. (coincidence? i think not). Over the years, many fans have speculated that Harry in not 100% human.
Let’s rewind back to when Harry Styles was a little baby duckling.
As years go by, he certainly has not lost his quack.
This one is pretty self explanatory.
The question is, Is it a breed of duck that looks like Harry? Or is Harry secretly the duck?
Looking back when Lou Teasdale asked him to do the “pouty” duck face, he said no.
He denied her request. Why? What harm would there be in making a duck face? Everyone does it, so why is he so against it? Because he would expose himself, that’s why.
So, Sign of the Times. Contrary to popular belief, this song is about Harry trying to come to terms with his true self. Just stop your crying, remember everything will be alright. Ring a bell? Of course. We should consider ourselves extremely lucky to be witnessing this beautiful man (duck) flying and enjoying his life on water. Not convinced yet? Let me show you a little game of spot the difference.
Exactly. You can stop looking. There are none.
Moving on, as all of us, or at least the majority of us, have learned that Harry enjoys being in water. But what most people have not realised is that Harry looks extremely comfortable in water, almost like…..it’s his….natural….habitat.
This tweet might seem strange at first, with no context:
But, in reality, Harry was hungry because nobody had given him any soggy bread and wanted to be fed… but things took a turn for the worst, harry got ill and..
At first it may seem like a cute duck, but in reality it’s him in the picture and he wanted to make it clear that fans should stop throwing food on stage.
Harry tries his best to hide his true form, but sometimes it’s difficult. For example, here:
Extremely clear, isn’t it? That’s a QUACK. He even says “I’ve never made that noise before.” Why? Research has proved that this phenomenon is a tactic that’s very well known between ducks. By saying this, no-one would investigate further and reveal his true form.
Pigeon toed?? More like duck toed.
Last but certainly not least, harry has said that the “quack” noise we are all hearing on the 9th track of his self-titled album, woman, is in fact him.
Of course it is. Who else would be able to make a duck sound that is so realistic other than a duck. If we take a deeper look into the lyrics, we can actually find a hidden message:
I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in.
So, is Harry Styles a duck? However much evidence we think we have, there is no confirmation of this theory by Harry or his reps. We tried calling multiple times and they blocked our number… Awkward.
‘I thought you liked holding Daddy’s hand? Oh! Do you get embarrassed? Does it make you feel like you aren’t a big girl?’
'No. I quite like feeling not so big. But you always hold it. Aaaaaalways. Why?’
'Well, for a few reasons. I don’t want to lose you.’
I see a duck on the lake and excitedly start my way towards it. My arm is tugged and I realise I’m pulling. I stop.
'See?’ Daddy asks, 'you could easily have fell into the lake or that duck could have eaten you. Then where would we be?’
I giggle and swing our clasped hands playfully.'I’d be in the duck’s belly,’ I laugh.
'Exactly. We don’t want that, do we?’ Daddy smiles down at me.
'Noooo!’ I agree, frowning solemnly.
I forget I even asked a question before he continues. 'Another reason I like to hold your hand is so I can lead you to places I want us to go.’
I shuffle my feet and protest by inhaling. 'That’s like I’m a dog!! AAAAND…what if I know which place I need to go?’
Daddy laughs heartily. 'You’re more of a little monkey! Anyway, it’s my job to make sure you get where I want you to go. If I hold your hand, I can be sure you get there safely, with me.’
'Hmm. Ok, but I can still see you and still hear you.’
'Ahh, but sometimes you don’t look and sometimes you don’t listen’ he raised an eyebrow.
'But you can always see and hear me!’ I exclaim.
'Haha! Oh you aren’t wrong! But it’s different to feel you, and hold you. Don’t you think?’
Daddy went on, 'when I tuck you in, it isn’t enough to see me or hear me is it? Eventually you close your eyes and you start to fall asleep. I stroke your hair. That way, you can be doubly sure I’m still there can’t you? It makes you feel safe to know I’m definitely with you just that little bit extra, doesn’t it?’
'Yes! I’d be sad if you didn’t stroke my hair when I fall asleep.’
'Exactly! That is how Daddy feels. He feels that little bit safer knowing he has you. And that you’re absolutely, definitely, undoubtedly with me all the time.’
'Ohhhhhh! I understand now!’
'But the biggest reason…’ He pulls me in.
I nod, eager to listen.
“is that you are mine. When I hold your hand, you are mine. Everyone knows not to hurt you. I can keep you safe when you are close. I can know so much about you when I hold you because your hands talk too.’
I laugh, 'my hands don’t talk silly Daddy!’
'Oh yes they do. They tell me when you are scared, excited, too hot or too cold. They even tell me when you need to pee. Although you usually do a funny dance too.’
'Shhhh’, I look around to make sure no one heard and pout up at him.
'Your hands are just as important and as lovely as your eyes, your voice. Why should I leave your hands out?’
'I love to look in your eyes, so I look. I love to hear your voice, so I listen.’
'I love to hold your hand, and that’s why I always hold it.’
“Cas.” Anna looks at him sweetly as she takes a seat opposite him. “Can you get me chicken nuggets?”
“You literally just ordered your food,” Cas says, nodding his head at the tray she’d set down between them.
“I know, but I got stuff from the Chinese place and the McDonald’s queue is too long,” she replies, giving him her best puppy dog eyes. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
Cas rolls his eyes, pushing away from the table. “Fine.”
“You’re the bestest little bro in the world!” Anna grins, handing over some money.
“Bestest isn’t even a word,” Cas mutters as he dodges people left and right.
Castiel hasn’t been standing in line for more than a few minutes when the man in front of him - gesturing wildly to the redhead next to him - hits him in the face. Hard.
Cas’ head snaps back and he hears an “oh fuck!” but he doesn’t know if it’s him who says it or someone else.
“Shit, shit, I am so sorry,” the man says, bringing his arms up but then dropping them to his sides like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “Fuck, you’re bleeding.”
Castiel can feel blood trickling down his neck and can taste it on his tongue and it’s the most unpleasant thing in the world right now. He wrinkles his nose in disgust but that just sends a wave a pain through it and he winces.
Prompt request: “You’re hot, shame about the personality.”
Summary: You and Jungkook get off on the wrong foot…but everything works out just fine.
Word Count: 877 words
You curled further into the warmth of Jungkook’s body, head resting on your boyfriend’s muscular arm. A cool breeze shifted through the open field, and you shivered in the cold, evening air. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his heat seeping into your skin.
As you glanced at the stars glistening in the clear night sky above you, a soft sigh escaped your lips.
“I still can’t believe we’re going to be so far apart,” you whispered with a sad smile. You played with Jungkook’s hand–the one that wasn’t holding your shoulder–tracing the protruding veins that travelled all the way down his forearm. “This is our last weekend together.”
“The distance will be difficult, but it won’t be impossible,” Jungkook replied, craning his head to press a kiss to the top of your head. “We both got into our top choices, and it’s gonna be a great opportunity for both of us.”
“I know,” you said, trying to memorize every single detail of Jungkook that you had taken for granted in your years together. “I’m excited for university, but I just wish we could have stayed together.”
Jungkook ran his fingers through your hair comfortingly. A silence settled between the two of you, punctuated by the ambient noise of the small town around you.
“Hey, remember the first time we met?” Jungkook asked suddenly, his voice light with laughter. “Who would’ve thought we would end up dating?”
You laughed with Jungkook, smiling up at him. “How could I forget?”
◅◅ Two years ago ◅◅
The bell rang, signalling the start of another school day–only, today was different. A transfer student stood at the front of the class, which was an oddity in your small town. All of the other sophomore students sat at the edge of their seats, trying to get a glimpse at the boy whose head was ducked.
“Everyone, we have a new student today. His name is Jungkook,” your teacher introduced, her peppy voice even more excited than usual. “Please treat him kindly and help him as much as you can.”
Finally, the boy looked up, showing the class more than just a head of black hair. And when he did, the girls gasped and blushed.
The boy, Jungkook, who stood at the front of the class was incredibly cute. You could understand the reactions of the girls around you.
He had defined features–a strong nose, wide eyes, sharp eyebrows, and pretty lips. But he had a cold and guarded expression, still refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.
“Where should I sit?” Jungkook asked, his voice sweet and smooth.
“There’s an empty spot there,” the teacher said, pointing to where you were sitting at the very back of the classroom. A few girls turned to look at you sharply, jealousy burning in their eyes. You wanted to laugh at them.
Jungkook sauntered down the rows of desks, eventually stopping at where you were sitting. You smiled up at him as he set his backpack down, but he just regarded you cooly.
“Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you said, mostly to ease the awkwardness and make Jungkook feel a little more comfortable. He said nothing as he slipped into the seat beside yours. “So…what brought you to this little town? We never get any new students here!”
“It’s none of your business,” Jungkook snapped, slamming his binder on his desk. The people around you jumped in surprise at Jungkook’s harsh tone. “I’d like to pay attention, so if you don’t mind.”
Your mouth set itself into a deep frown, and you glared at the new boy beside you. It was then that you decided you hated Jungkook. “You’re hot,” you began, your words laced with venom. “Shame about the personality.”
▻▻ Present ▻▻
“You were such an asshole!” you exclaimed, hitting Jungkook lightly against his chest. He laughed and swatted your hand way.
“I was nervous,” Jungkook corrected, nipping your ear in retaliation. “I was so overwhelmed! Everyone was staring at me and I just flipped out.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, “at me. And I wasn’t even drooling over you like everyone else!”
“You were, a little bit,” Jungkook snickered. “Don’t be embarrassed–I thought you were cute, too.”
You squeaked in protest, shooting up from where you were lying down. You looked down at Jungkook, who had changed so much from the first time you had met him. The boy you thought was rude turned out to become the kindest, most charming person you had ever known. But even now, you could still see the nervous, insecure boy that Jungkook once was.
You knew he had to be just as afraid as you were.
“I guess if we could make it past those terrible first impressions, we can get through anything,” you smiled, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against Jungkook’s familiar lips. He lifted his hands and cupped your jaw, keeping you in place as he deepened the kiss.
Eventually, the two of you separated, blushing and short of breath.
“You know, I love you, Y/N,” Jungkook said, his eyes shining in the pale light of the night sky. “Nothing will ever change that.”
“I know,” you breathed, getting lost in the depths of his eyes. “And I love you, too.”
- Girl in Luv
Well, that’s that! Hope you enjoyed. If you liked, you can send us a request using our new prompts page! Thanks for reading~