are we having duck

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

The HarrDuck Conspiracy.

It might sound strange, but Harry Styles is a duck. I know, sounds crazy, right? But hear me out. 

Harry Styles was born on February 1st 1994 in Redditch, England. Redditch has a beautiful lake called arrow valley, where you can find many ducks. (coincidence? i think not). Over the years, many fans have speculated that Harry in not 100% human. 

Let’s rewind back to when Harry Styles was a little baby duckling. 

As years go by, he certainly has not lost his quack.

This one is pretty self explanatory. 

The question is, Is it a breed of duck that looks like Harry? Or is Harry secretly the duck?

Looking back when Lou Teasdale asked him to do the “pouty” duck face, he said no.

He denied her request. Why? What harm would there be in making a duck face? Everyone does it, so why is he so against it? Because he would expose himself,  that’s why.

So, Sign of the Times. Contrary to popular belief, this song is about Harry trying to come to terms with his true self. Just stop your crying, remember everything will be alright. Ring a bell? Of course. We should consider ourselves extremely lucky to be witnessing this beautiful man (duck) flying and enjoying his life on water. Not convinced yet? Let me show you a little game of spot the difference.

Exactly. You can stop looking. There are none.

Moving on, as all of us, or at least the majority of us, have learned that Harry enjoys being in water. But what most people have not realised is that Harry looks extremely comfortable in water, almost like…..it’s his….natural….habitat.

This tweet might seem strange at first, with no context:

But, in reality, Harry was hungry because nobody had given him any soggy bread and wanted to be fed… but things took a turn for the worst, harry got ill and..

At first it may seem like a cute duck, but in reality it’s him in the picture and he wanted to make it clear that fans should stop throwing food on stage. 

Harry tries his best to hide his true form, but sometimes it’s difficult. For example, here:

Extremely clear, isn’t it? That’s a QUACK. He even says “I’ve never made that noise before.” Why? Research has proved that this phenomenon is a tactic that’s very well known between ducks. By saying this, no-one would investigate further and reveal his true form.

Pigeon toed?? More like duck toed.

Last but certainly not least, harry has said that the “quack” noise we are all hearing on the 9th track of his self-titled album, woman, is in fact him.

Of course it is. Who else would be able to make a duck sound that is so realistic other than a duck. If we take a deeper look into the lyrics, we can actually find a hidden message:

I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in

So, is Harry Styles a duck? However much evidence we think we have, there is no confirmation of this theory by Harry or his reps. We tried calling multiple times and they blocked our number… Awkward.

Therefore, this mystery of “The HarrDuck” remains

UNSOLVED.

-The Actress Cactus

Huey has some of the best expressions in the pilot, and I am not just talking about the ending when he pulls his Uncle Donald look on Dewey after he blows the house boat up.

Okay…rude much?

And this one when he’s looking directly at Dewey. Are you seriously going to just tear up my road list? I worked on that. 

He may not be a verbal sassmaster (yet), but his non-verbal sass game is strong.

Daddy's love.

‘Daddy, why do you always hold my hand?’

‘I thought you liked holding Daddy’s hand? Oh! Do you get embarrassed? Does it make you feel like you aren’t a big girl?’

'No. I quite like feeling not so big. But you always hold it. Aaaaaalways. Why?’

'Well, for a few reasons. I don’t want to lose you.’

I see a duck on the lake and excitedly start my way towards it. My arm is tugged and I realise I’m pulling. I stop.

'See?’ Daddy asks, 'you could easily have fell into the lake or that duck could have eaten you. Then where would we be?’

I giggle and swing our clasped hands playfully.'I’d be in the duck’s belly,’ I laugh.

'Exactly. We don’t want that, do we?’ Daddy smiles down at me.

'Noooo!’ I agree, frowning solemnly.

I forget I even asked a question before he continues. 'Another reason I like to hold your hand is so I can lead you to places I want us to go.’

I shuffle my feet and protest by inhaling. 'That’s like I’m a dog!! AAAAND…what if I know which place I need to go?’

Daddy laughs heartily. 'You’re more of a little monkey! Anyway, it’s my job to make sure you get where I want you to go. If I hold your hand, I can be sure you get there safely, with me.’

'Hmm. Ok, but I can still see you and still hear you.’

'Ahh, but sometimes you don’t look and sometimes you don’t listen’ he raised an eyebrow.

'But you can always see and hear me!’ I exclaim.

'Haha! Oh you aren’t wrong! But it’s different to feel you, and hold you. Don’t you think?’

'Ummm..’

Daddy went on, 'when I tuck you in, it isn’t enough to see me or hear me is it? Eventually you close your eyes and you start to fall asleep. I stroke your hair. That way, you can be doubly sure I’m still there can’t you? It makes you feel safe to know I’m definitely with you just that little bit extra, doesn’t it?’

'Yes! I’d be sad if you didn’t stroke my hair when I fall asleep.’

'Exactly! That is how Daddy feels. He feels that little bit safer knowing he has you. And that you’re absolutely, definitely, undoubtedly with me all the time.’

'Ohhhhhh! I understand now!’

'But the biggest reason…’ He pulls me in.

I nod, eager to listen.

“is that you are mine. When I hold your hand, you are mine. Everyone knows not to hurt you. I can keep you safe when you are close. I can know so much about you when I hold you because your hands talk too.’

I laugh, 'my hands don’t talk silly Daddy!’

'Oh yes they do. They tell me when you are scared, excited, too hot or too cold. They even tell me when you need to pee. Although you usually do a funny dance too.’

'Shhhh’, I look around to make sure no one heard and pout up at him.

'Your hands are just as important and as lovely as your eyes, your voice. Why should I leave your hands out?’

I wonder.

'I love to look in your eyes, so I look. I love to hear your voice, so I listen.’

He stops.

'I love to hold your hand, and that’s why I always hold it.’

I Am Not A 90's Kid

I was watching a documentary today, called Best of the 90’s, and I realized, though I was born in the decade, I am not a 90’s kid. 

I am a member of Generation Z, everyone born since 1995. I am the last of the 90’s, born between 1995 and 1999. 

We didn’t watch Darkwing Duck, or Sonic the Hedgehog, but we have cartoons of our own. 

We remember having to rewind tapes, using VCR’s and watching technology change from this:

To this:

We may not remember much about Columbine, or 9/11, but we have grown up in the America shaped by those events, where it is impossible to remember a way any different. 

We grew up hearing the words: economy, gas prices, unemployment, war, Iraq, Afghanistan, terrorism. 

We have seen struggles and fights, and watched the world change to pave the way for equality and acceptance. 

So no, we may not be “90’s kids”. But we are a unique generation. The bridge between the past and the new millennium. 

What generation do you belong to? What is something you remembered about when you were a kid?

A list of quotes my band director has said

This martini isn’t dirty enough

We need a stronger bottom

Think of the ding dong, I need a lot of ding dong

Have your parents pick you up at 9:010

I want it tasty

Yeah I’m not liking the uterus either

I want you guys to learn beef

Judd: The band is only as good as the weakest link.
Anthony: Fuck we’re gonna lose

Don’t try not to lose time

How can I breathe without no air

I changed my mind, I’m not changing my mind

We got six on the bottom and five on top.

Play an A# instead of an B-flat

Try not to sound like a duck

You fracked your climactic one note of glory

Mikey, stop being pointy

Ziggy, stop hugging Malakai

You can’t frack and never return

If you’re not making Juddy proud, you’re wrong

Stop being an ice cream truck

The leaning tower of Luke Choi

You can all take a breath together after your ding dong

Add a curvy linear

Try not to have a bulge in the front

You need to have a strong d

You’re teasing me melodically

It’s getting a little tight in Darren land

The ding dong is being lost

Ziggy and Daniel are joining the ding dong

Your higher note on the ding dong has even more stress

The ding dong was well projected

I don’t hear enough of the dong

Now we know where we are at. THANK GOD

It needs to be the creepiest 3 blind mice you’ve ever heard

It’s just not big enough

Just grab me, it is destiny

Add weight, like my stomach

Finger the air

Jesus that sounds like cattle

We are not playing Frogger with our instruments

Yo, what’s with that gangster hat

We’re Swiss cheese in the clarinet block

There’s just too much body language, and I don’t appreciate it

If that amp was your mother, she would be proud

It sounds so much better when we don’t breathe

Even though I changed the music, I really haven’t changed the music

You need to have confidence on those bitches

Breathe through 8 counts without taking a breath

Are you a G?

Dylan, you’re an ass

You need to have laser eyes on Lexi

We have to be more smart at rehearsal

I’m a Facebook like Nazi

Dylan, sound like Mickey Mouse

Barisoon

Will’s on fire, somebody put him out

Is there a way to pause without pausing it

I’m literally turning into a parrot

I want Kaitlin on top and everyone else under her

More trumpets, more sex

Hey there J-dog(Justin)

This is Amish paradise

WOAH PIANO

You need to listen for Lexi’s cut-off

Stop yabbadabbading

You’re not good

French horns, don’t put your hand in the bell

I’m hearing wrong fingers

Turn on a new hat

Finger with me

Play it as written, nice and long

Please stop touching each other

You’re the Toungey McToungerson I’ve been hearing the whole time

Just pull it out

You’re not matching the windses dynamics

There’s 2 counts of horse

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is, oh look at that, lunch detention! Congratulations Nikko, Donovan, and Nathan!

Oooo, that was a big one

A bunch of you guys need to be the icing on the cake

*plays invisible banjo passionately*

*sings* IN HIS PANTSSSS

Here’s my time for glory

Imagine you’re in an algebra class, taking a test on trigonometry

Sing your finger one two ready go

I just wanna touch it

*stops band* Jesus, guys

Start at number C

You can play those notes more fuller

You sound like an elementary band learning how to play mallets for the first time

Oh Jesus

Never blink

Jesus, try again

I changed my mind, I haven’t changed my mind

It did got better

Lower my thing

You’re talking into the horn

Play the ding bum

I know you wanna shake it

Hey guys can we get rid of that chair? No chair left behind

Pull out more, more than the D would normally take

We learned how to use our tongues today. You do 16th notes until you are happy

The good ol’ sleight of glove

SUCK IN YOUR DIAPHRAGM MARGARET
MARGARET THIS IS FOR YOU

Take Nikko’s stick and hit it right on the downbeat

I have a guide to fingering and tonguing

That’s enough men for 2 months

Mrs. Mocha and myself might get a little excited

We can’t waste any time (plays G minor as a round twice)

You are a ninja

No girly birds!!!!!!!!

Shake this as you’re doing the wawa

I don’t hear no wawawa

Thunder where are you

Get your life together!

Jacob, you’re nothing

Be smart

I have other beaters in my office

YOU ARE DIFFERENT

You come when it’s time

There’s a lot of ding dongs, I feel like hostess

F all

Speak now or forever hold your run through

Play good

I’m honking my horn, get out of my way

Blend to the beef

Someone strike a D

I AM NOT RELAXED

The hunchback of Notre Justin

Don’t think of a snare, think of an instrument

Oh hello! What’s for dinner? COMPOUND TIME

I feel like I should rent a babysitter and put you in a play pen

Get better

We’re not in a smoking club here saying *cough cough cough* I’ve been doing this for 20 years, like there are like 5 band kids that need cough drops

Right now, you’re playing like a drunken sailor ballerina

*sings* be dahh boo dahhh DINNER TIME

It’s hard for Ryan because he has the runs

It sounds emotional, but it’s the wrong emotion

CUT, wow that’s a mess

Margaret you sound like the recorder version of Titanic on YouTube

You want candy, I want notes

Make it more shapey

FLINGER FLINGER FLINGER. I say FLINGER because it’s not quite there. It’s like you’re playing with octopus hands. Tentacles

This is the sound of not music

We are under the sea

Put your hand on your finger

How to tame your dragon

Right now, you’re a nike check mark

I feel like I’m feeding bread to a duck

We have a lot of articulation problems in the goat heard

*screams* I’M SO MYSTERIOUS

It’s so bad, I feel like I’m on American Airline

Sound like a butterfly. FLY AWAY TUCKER, FLY AWAY

We’re not going to the zoo trombones, no butterflies today

Ba be ba da FORTSZANDO Ba be ba da AAHHH

WOAH! Wait that wasn’t Kaitlin, liar

Oh so you do have it on your stand. Hm. Two liars today *squinches eyes*

BEEEEOOOWEEE

I want to hear a C, not an AAAAAAAA

Your guys’ bad phrasing gave him a bloody nose

Stop looking at me with your glossed over eyes

Why not, HA you thought

Here comes the Dylan!

Ding dong ding dong, don’t be a ding dong

I don’t want to expose everyone right now, but it has to be done

YELL AT ME STEPHANIE. LIKE ALL OF THE ANGER I’VE SAID

I guess I don’t yell enough

There’s limited times when we do that, like the McRib

It sounds like you’re in the bathroom

Don’t look like the hunchback of Notre Clarinet

This is like a daycare or something

It sounds like dinner time

Guys it sounds dorky

*turns to clarinets* bitch

I’ve always wanted to adopt Tucker

Light beer is like pee

Wow Hector, you’re like Jenni Craig

I was a lethal weapon

You have a secret affection for your clarinet

Figure out your life

It makes us sound like the asthma band

  • Kaminari: Uh, uh, we’ll flip for it, ducks or clowns.
  • Kirishima: Oh, we’re gonna flip for it?
  • Kaminari: You got a better idea?
  • Kirishima: All right, call it in the air.
  • Kaminari: Heads.
  • Kirishima: Heads it is.
  • Kaminari: Yes! Whoo!
  • Kirishima: We have to assign heads to something!
  • Kaminari: Right, okay, okay, uhhh, ducks is heads, because ducks… have heads.
  • Kirishima: What kinda scary-ass clowns came to your birthday!?
Of Nosebleeds and Soulmates

Soulmate AU where your clock starts counting from the moment you’re born and stops counting the moment you meet your soulmate.  

As Castiel looks down at his favourite sweater, now partially soaked in his blood, he can’t believe he waited  22 years, 29 days, 18 hours, 56 minutes and 37 seconds for this.

Based on this post by @silentpeaches that I’m sure everyone and their grandma has seen by now.

(AO3)

“Cas.” Anna looks at him sweetly as she takes a seat opposite him. “Can you get me chicken nuggets?”

“You literally just ordered your food,” Cas says, nodding his head at the tray she’d set down between them.

“I know, but I got stuff from the Chinese place and the McDonald’s queue is too long,” she replies, giving him her best puppy dog eyes. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

Cas rolls his eyes, pushing away from the table. “Fine.”

“You’re the bestest little bro in the world!” Anna grins, handing over some money.

“Bestest isn’t even a word,” Cas mutters as he dodges people left and right.

Castiel hasn’t been standing in line for more than a few minutes when the man in front of him - gesturing wildly to the redhead next to him - hits him in the face. Hard.

Cas’ head snaps back and he hears an “oh fuck!” but he doesn’t know if it’s him who says it or someone else.

“Shit, shit, I am so sorry,” the man says, bringing his arms up but then dropping them to his sides like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “Fuck, you’re bleeding.”

Castiel can feel blood trickling down his neck and can taste it on his tongue and it’s the most unpleasant thing in the world right now. He wrinkles his nose in disgust but that just sends a wave a pain through it and he winces.

Keep reading

Saving Kittens Thing

Bleeding heart James Potter does his level best to save seven cats from a terrible fate, but Lily Evans, his heartless monster fiancée, tries to thwart him at every turn.


week one.


Lily Evans to James Potter: no

James Potter: i haven’t asked a question.

Lily Potter: and yet

James Potter: but how did u know???

Lily Potter: your 762 cat pictures uploaded to the cloud james

James Potter: right.

James Potter: it’s just, hes been hanging around the office for the last two weeks…
Lily Evans: you don’t even like cats??

James Potter: but he likes me. maybe I never liked them bc they were all assholes?

James Potter: chicken or egg, u know?

Lily Evans: amazing

Lily Evans: see u in a few

Lily Evans: no to cat. yes to takeout for stressing me out

James Potter: ur stressed? im marrying an unsupportive woman in 7 weeks??

Lily Evans: *kiss emoji* eggrolls.

James Potter: yessir


James Potter to Lily Evans: but look at how CUTE he is

Lily Evans: no


James Potter: he likes milk

Lily Evans: impeachment song voice: no. no. no. no. no. nono. nononono.

James Potter: killjoy!

Lily Evans: remember the squirrel

James Potter: that was one. time.

Lily Evans: and yet, i have veto power

James Potter: will u always have veto power? like for the next sixty years?

Lily Evans: we had to call professionals in??? almost got kicked out??? our lease specifically and unequivocally forbids pets of any kind???

James Potter: technicality, yes, but as mum owns the building, pretty sure i could sway her w/ wedding leverage

Lily Evans: we are NOT having swans, geese, ducks, or other fowl at our wedding. so no leverage for u.

James Potter: killjoy!!!!!


week two.


James Potter to Lily Evans: he is a SHE

Lily Evans: …?

James Potter: THE CAT

Lily Evans: how do u

Lily Evans: nvnmd

James Potter: check ur snaps!!!

Lily Evans to James Potter: james. when u get home we need to talk abt appropriate things to snapchat.

Lily Evans: example: cats giving birth? not appropriate!!

Lily Evans: also, are u under the bushes in front of your work?

James Potter: ITS JUST LIKE 101 DALMATIONS

James Potter: except cats!

James Potter: and six of them.

James Potter: seven including boots.

Lily Evans: boots?

James Potter: have u seen HER feet? boots.

James Potter: the Miracle of Life. im transformed.                                             

Lily Evans: oh boy


Lily Evans to James Potter: babe. ur going to get fired for sending too many snapchats on work hours.

James Potter: my dad is the boss?

Lily Evans: he asked me to text sense into u. or to bribe u.

James Potter: rude.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Please, 79 with Jungkook

Prompt request: “You’re hot, shame about the personality.”

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You and Jungkook get off on the wrong foot…but everything works out just fine.

Word Count: 877 words


You curled further into the warmth of Jungkook’s body, head resting on your boyfriend’s muscular arm. A cool breeze shifted through the open field, and you shivered in the cold, evening air. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your shoulders, his heat seeping into your skin.

As you glanced at the stars glistening in the clear night sky above you, a soft sigh escaped your lips.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to be so far apart,” you whispered with a sad smile. You played with Jungkook’s hand–the one that wasn’t holding your shoulder–tracing the protruding veins that travelled all the way down his forearm. “This is our last weekend together.”

“The distance will be difficult, but it won’t be impossible,” Jungkook replied, craning his head to press a kiss to the top of your head. “We both got into our top choices, and it’s gonna be a great opportunity for both of us.”

“I know,” you said, trying to memorize every single detail of Jungkook that you had taken for granted in your years together. “I’m excited for university, but I just wish we could have stayed together.”

Jungkook ran his fingers through your hair comfortingly. A silence settled between the two of you, punctuated by the ambient noise of the small town around you.

“Hey, remember the first time we met?” Jungkook asked suddenly, his voice light with laughter. “Who would’ve thought we would end up dating?”

You laughed with Jungkook, smiling up at him. “How could I forget?”

◅◅   Two years ago  ◅◅ 

The bell rang, signalling the start of another school day–only, today was different. A transfer student stood at the front of the class, which was an oddity in your small town. All of the other sophomore students sat at the edge of their seats, trying to get a glimpse at the boy whose head was ducked.

“Everyone, we have a new student today. His name is Jungkook,” your teacher introduced, her peppy voice even more excited than usual. “Please treat him kindly and help him as much as you can.”

Finally, the boy looked up, showing the class more than just a head of black hair. And when he did, the girls gasped and blushed.

The boy, Jungkook, who stood at the front of the class was incredibly cute. You could understand the reactions of the girls around you.

He had defined features–a strong nose, wide eyes, sharp eyebrows, and pretty lips. But he had a cold and guarded expression, still refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

“Where should I sit?” Jungkook asked, his voice sweet and smooth.

“There’s an empty spot there,” the teacher said, pointing to where you were sitting at the very back of the classroom. A few girls turned to look at you sharply, jealousy burning in their eyes. You wanted to laugh at them.

Jungkook sauntered down the rows of desks, eventually stopping at where you were sitting. You smiled up at him as he set his backpack down, but he just regarded you cooly.

“Hi! Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you said, mostly to ease the awkwardness and make Jungkook feel a little more comfortable. He said nothing as he slipped into the seat beside yours. “So…what brought you to this little town? We never get any new students here!”

“It’s none of your business,” Jungkook snapped, slamming his binder on his desk. The people around you jumped in surprise at Jungkook’s harsh tone. “I’d like to pay attention, so if you don’t mind.”

Your mouth set itself into a deep frown, and you glared at the new boy beside you. It was then that you decided you hated Jungkook. “You’re hot,” you began, your words laced with venom. “Shame about the personality.”

▻▻   Present    ▻▻

“You were such an asshole!” you exclaimed, hitting Jungkook lightly against his chest. He laughed and swatted your hand way.

“I was nervous,” Jungkook corrected, nipping your ear in retaliation. “I was so overwhelmed! Everyone was staring at me and I just flipped out.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “at me. And I wasn’t even drooling over you like everyone else!”

“You were, a little bit,” Jungkook snickered. “Don’t be embarrassed–I thought you were cute, too.”

You squeaked in protest, shooting up from where you were lying down. You looked down at Jungkook, who had changed so much from the first time you had met him. The boy you thought was rude turned out to become the kindest, most charming person you had ever known. But even now, you could still see the nervous, insecure boy that Jungkook once was.

You knew he had to be just as afraid as you were.

“I guess if we could make it past those terrible first impressions, we can get through anything,” you smiled, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against Jungkook’s familiar lips. He lifted his hands and cupped your jaw, keeping you in place as he deepened the kiss.

Eventually, the two of you separated, blushing and short of breath.

“You know, I love you, Y/N,” Jungkook said, his eyes shining in the pale light of the night sky. “Nothing will ever change that.”

“I know,” you breathed, getting lost in the depths of his eyes. “And I love you, too.”

- Girl in Luv

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