warnings: really bad writing, anxious people, angry!evan, angst
“evan x reader where the reader is the one who takes him to the hospital after he broke his arm and one day he snaps at her and then misses her?” -anon
evan x reader angst? -anon
word count: 3.8k (kms this is bad why would i keep writing it)
Tuesday, July 15
It happened much too quickly and you almost didn’t see the see the small figure fall from the oak tree placed a few feet ahead of you on your hiking path. It was almost like the breath was kicked from your lungs as you saw it thump onto the ground.
“Oh my god! Are you okay? Holy shit.” You yelled while running towards the crumpled figure lying on the ground. It was a boy, you recognized him from school, but never really talked much. He was nice, though. You knew that for sure.
He was whimpering and clutching his arm close to his chest, tears streaking down his puffy cheeks. The tears making the pink of the cheeks look even darker under the wet streaks seeping from his eyes. He made eye contact with you and closed his eyes again when he saw how worried you looked. He recognized you too, but couldn’t think straight and said nothing. You kneeled down next to him and began to examined his injuries. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself on the ground.
“Hey, can you talk? Are you okay?” You pleaded towards him. Letting out a breath when he opened his eyes and nodded slightly. thank god.
“I’m,” he winced lightly “I’m Evan. I’m okay it’s just my uh, my arm.” He gasped out through tears, trying not to look at his definitely broken arm.
You took his head gently in your lap and looked down at him once again. You examined his face, nothing but a few scratches on his forehead and cheek. His eyes were so pretty you could’ve gotten lost in them, luckily you snapped yourself out of it because Jesus y/n, he fell from a tree and is injured you can’t be swooning.
“I’m Y/N. I’m going to get you help okay? But you need to help me out, are your legs okay?” You grabbed his face gently and made him look up at you. He nodded.
“Okay, I’m going to help you get up and bring you to my car so when can drive you to the hospital. Is that okay?” Your voice was so gentle and so were your eyes, he almost broke out into more tears. He didn’t think anyone would bother to get him, he honestly hadn’t thought what would happen if he ended up living.
“Yes, uh, yes please.” He stammered out, trying to adjust his legs so he could stand up. You put your arms under his shoulders and hoisted him up. His legs were wobbly and you thanked god that you weren’t very far in your hike. Your car was close, you just hoped he’d stay conscious that long. He was obviously in a ton of pain and his arm… wasn’t pretty. His shoulder was around you and you did your best to lift him to ease his pain that walking must’ve given him.
As you stumbled to the empty parking lot of matted down grass and gravel, you whispered gently in his ear that he could not, under any circumstances, look at his arm. (Your mom had taught you this trick, if you don’t see how bad it is, you won’t freak out as much). He just nodded really quickly over and over again as you opened the passenger seat door. He clambered in and closed his eyes so tight you thought he might pop a vein in his head. You rushed towards the drivers seat and began speeding through the empty streets towards the hospital.
“Okay, Evan right? We’re almost there is there anywhere else that hurts? -Please stop scrunching your face like that your going to pull a muscle- that’s better.” You said as he slowly relaxed his face.
“You told me not to look…” he mumbled flicking his, now opened, eyes to you and then back to his jeans several times. He was trying to distract himself from something… most likely the pain.
When you caught him staring you smiled lightly, and turned your attention back toward the road. Luckily for him, you didn’t see his whole face get red after realizing a nice girl was taking care of him that wasn’t his mom.
As you got the hospital Evan flinched as he saw the bright “EMERGENCY ROOM” sign. Once he was in there he would have to answer a bunch of questions about what happened. He didn’t want to talk to people he just wanted to fall asleep and wake up healed.
“We’re here. Are you awake? Please be conscious, oh god,” you said as you scrambled to his side of the car while the feeling of dread bubbled up from your stomach.
“I- um, I’m f- fine.” He said as he tried to crawl out through the door avoiding any pain that may occur if he moves too quickly.
Once you were both in the position you were in when you walked to your car in the first place, you cautiously opened the doors and scooted him inside. The sweet-looking nurse gasped when she saw Evan’s arm and hollered around for more doctors to help him. The contrast of her bright white uniform and warm brown skin plus her gentle voice made her seem even more friendly, until of course, she almost ripped Evan out of your arms and brought him to a room. The last thing you saw was Evan looking back at you with pleading eyes before different nurses walking in front of you blocked him from your sight.
Wednesday, July 16
It had been a day. You had brought flowers. Is that what people usually do? Bring flowers? What if he doesn’t like flowers? Do boys like flowers? Your train of thought stopped when you were standing in front of the wide marbled desk with a big “VISITOR SIGN IN” sign.
The (probably volunteer worker) looked up at you expectantly. She smiled when she saw the flowers, admiring the blues before you started to mumble who you were here for.
“Evan Hansen, he uh, well, I think he broke his arm? I brought him in yesterday- if that helps.” You were slightly embarrassed, you had never had to check in a hospital before to see someone without your parents, and that was 6 years ago.
She smiled politely as she pulled out a piece of paper and began to read it aloud
“Evan Hansen, 17, broken arm and rib fracture?”
“That would be him.” You mumbled, beginning to feel anxious again.
“Room 203 on the left, thank you ma'am!” She smiled and pointed in the direction of his room. You smiled and thanked her back before walking towards the elevators.
Boys can like flowers, right? I mean they’re pretty and stuff. Oh god what am I doing? You reached the right hall and searched the numbers pinned up on the side of every door.
You turned you head around and saw the faint figure of a nurse talking to a sleepy looking Evan in a hospital bed. It was Evan! He was okay! Now do you knock or?
You decided to knock and the nurse turned around, startled. She walked to the door and let you in after checking her clipboard.
“I’ll go get a vase for the flowers.” She scurried off pretty quick after that, deciding to give you privacy.
Evan eyes were open so wide you thought they might pop out of his head. His arm was in a cast and his hair was matted down almost enough to cover the bandage on his forehead.
“Hi, I’m uh, I’m glad you’re okay.” You said as you slowly walked toward his bed stopping abruptly as you looked for a chair to sit on.
He noticed and shuffled over towards the side farthest from you on his bed. You sat down lightly and faced him, taking in his features all at once. His eyes, still milky brown and his cheeks weren’t as puffy nor red as they were in the forest. There were freckles lightly dusting his nose and cheeks and his bottom lip was bigger than the top and a bit swollen from him biting on it. He took your breath away.
“Thanks uh for yeknow.. getting me at stuff? I mean that sounds so stupid you basically saved my life and I’m so grateful and-” he noticed you staring. “Uh, just, thank you, Y/N.”
“It’s not a problem… I uh, brought you flowers..?” You said, immediately flustered when you realized you were staring. “I don’t really know if you like them but they were really pretty and I thought that’s what normal people do, right?” You were rambling again. shut up y/n!!
“They were really pretty,” he said softly while fiddling with the covers he was under. “I like them, thank you again I guess.” He looked so nervous and you couldn’t understand why.
Truth is, he was nervous because he didn’t think you would come back to see him. I mean you probably had other stuff to do than worry about him right? Why were you here? Did you care about him? His fluttered at the thought of that. She cares about me? So he just gently fiddled with the covers until you resumed the conversation.
“Do you like brownies?”
“Oh, uh well I was going to make you something for when I come back tomorrow… if that’s okay, of course! I wouldn’t want to, like, intrude or anything you know?” You let out a nervous laugh and forced yourself to look up.
He was staring again but he seemed… softer. He didn’t seem so on guard like when you initially walked in or when he was in your car. You didn’t really know how to reply so you just smiled gently and waited for his reply. Just as the pool of dread started building in your stomach again he replied.
“You really, uh, like you really don’t need to bake for me! I mean it would be cool, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t want anything you gave me but I just wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience! Because who wouldn’t accept brownies from a cute girl? Did I say that out loud? Sorry I uh-”
You cut him if with your giggling and looked up at him barely containing your infectious smile.
“It’s cute when you ramble.” You said quietly. You were looking down towards your fiddling hands, scared you’ve overstepped a boundary.
He blushed; You did to.
You spent the rest of the day just talking about anything. You didn’t really want to leave and he didn’t want you to either. He wasn’t used to enjoying people company and not being scared of doing something wrong, but you were sincere and nice and funny. You went home at around 9:00 pm and once you left the room felt strangely empty, that is, until he saw the light blue flowers on his bedside table.
Over the past week and a half you had become quick best friends. Neither of you and really had a bestfriend before, but you fell right into the habits that best friends do. At least the ones they do when one do them is in the hospital… well, you get the idea.
Friday, July 25
Three light taps on his hospital door and you wandered in announcing the arrival of brownies. He frantically tried to fix his hair and smooth out his shirt before you got close enough to see him clearly.
“Hi Ev!” You chirped while holding the brownie pan outwards like it was a trophy.
If he was going to be honest, he didn’t even really like brownies. He thought the were too much chocolate for one sitting, but seeing your grin and how proud you were of them… brownies might not be that bad as long as he could share them with you.
“O-oh my. hey y/n.” He gave you a half wave and made room on his table for the brownies. why is she being so thoughtful? I mean it’s adorable but that never happens to me.
“Okay, so,” you said while sitting down next to him on his bed and smoothing the covers. “I was wondering, why were you in a tree in he first place?” You asked as politely as possible as one can while stuffing a brownie in their mouth.
There it was. He couldn’t tell her. He could barely tell himself. What was he going to do? Whatever, just make something up Evan, quick!
You noticed him freeze up and slowly shuffled away from him. Maybe he just didn’t want to relive the experience.
“Oh it’s not, I mean it isn’t really…important.”
“Of course it’s important, silly! Otherwise you wouldn’t have fallen and broken your arm from 50 feet up in the air!” You said while making wild hand gestures as if it would help you picture what you were saying.
“I don’t, I couldn’t really,” He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell anyone. “I fell.” He decided that falling was better then letting go.
You looked at him quizzically. He looked guilty? He kept his gaze down and played with his hands more aggressively than usual, he also bit his lip. He was lying. but why would he lie about falling out of a tree?
“Okay.” Was all you said as you stood up slowly and grabbed the flower vase.
“I’m going to uh- go get some water.”
He watched you scurry off the the bathroom and exhaled. You knew he was lying. He didn’t want to lose you or let you think he’s a liar, but absolutely no one could know what he had done. His mom would hate him and so would you! He looked toward the plate of brownies and then back towards the bathroom door. All that was playing in his head was 4 words, like a broken record: no one can know.
Sunday July, 27
You didn’t go to the hospital today. Evan had acted so strange after you asked him why he climbed up there in the first place. Once you got back from the bathroom he seemed closed off and distant, he seemed almost rude which was very out of character for him. You knew he didn’t have many friends at school, but he was so warm and sweet before, now he was just so cold and unresponsive.
So as you walked up your front steps after running a few errands for your sister, you almost jumped out of your skin when the door was answered by a middle aged woman with blonde hair. Your mom was right behind her and introduced you.
“Sweetie, this is Heidi! Evan’s Mom.
Heidi this is y/n, my youngest daughter.”
Heidi reached her hand out towards you with a big smile on her face.
“Thank you so much for helping Evan, it means so much to us. You’re even visiting him at the hospital! He seems so much more happy whenever you stop by!”
Her voice was sweet and a little gravelly, probably due to her job which (according to her clothing) was a nurse. Nurses worked long hours. That was probably why Evan was alone at the park in the first place.
“Oh, it’s no problem!” You said as you shook her hand. Her eyes were Evan’s, milky brown and sparkling, and then it hit you.
You’re even visiting him at the hospital! He seems so much more happy whenever you stop by!
Was Evan usually so closed off? He seemed so sweet you couldn’t possibly imagine that to be the case.
“Miss Hansen, if you don’t mind me asking-”
“Heidi, please dear!”
“Heidi, is Evan usually… closed off? He’s been acting sort of strange these past few days.”
She looked a little surprised at first but replied calmly nonetheless.
“He’s been, avoiding things. He hasn’t been taking his meds lately and has trouble talking to people. His meds keep his,” she cleared her throat slightly before continuing. “Negative emotions on track…I’m honestly surprised he talks to you without fainting from nervousness.” Her face turned sorrowful, as if she was thinking about the times he acted like what she was describing.
“Oh, I’m sor-”
“Don’t be silly, you’re helping him! Anyways I’ve got to run if I’m going to be at work on time, I just stopped by to say thank you!” She waved her hands a bit when she talked, it reminded you of Evan. You waved goodbye as she left and ran to your room, your mind was racing a mike a minute.
Evan has medication. Evan doesn’t connect with people. Evan is usually pretty closed off. Evan doesn’t know how to talk to people.
Well, no more ignoring him now. You grabbed your keys and a sweatshirt and walked out to your car, calling out a quick goodbye to your mom.
You were so enwrapped in you thoughts you almost missed the turn to the parking lot of the hospital. You didn’t know what you would say or even if he wanted to see you, but you knew one thing for sure. You were going to find out why he climbed that tree.
You knew the way to his room by heart now, which was strange considering you’ve only walked here twice. You didn’t bother with directions from workers you just marched right in and knocked on his door.
“Y/N.” he said, surprised you were in his room and even more surprised that you looked so stern.
“Promise me you won’t lie?” You asked, maintaining your gaze directly at him.
He gulped, but nodded slowly.
“Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself and why did you climb that goddamn tree?” Your voice was gentle and shaky, but your body language stayed intense. He didn’t know what to say, had his mom talked to you or something? She did mention going to your house to thank you for being his friend, but what did she tell you?
“Uh- I don’t know what you’re talking about?” His voice raised slightly at the end, as if it was a question.
“Evan your mom said you hadn’t been taking your meds, and that sometimes you-”
“Stop it. Stop it.” He said quietly as he hugged his knees up to his chest.
“Evan please, you know you can talk to me right? I’ve only known you for a little while but I feel like it’s been forever! Whenever you feel like tha-”
“Stop it.” He said it louder his time, looking at you instead of his hands.
“No. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t just say that I can talk to you when I’m ‘off my meds’ y/n. You can’t, you just- you can’t come waltzing into my life and then try and fix it.”
He seemed almost… angry? You didn’t know how to react, you had never seen him angry before.
“I think you should just mind your own business.” He said softly, looking out the window while trying to calm down.
You didn’t know what to do. You never thought you were trying to fix him? You didn’t know he had anything wrong. Where you supposed to leave?
“I’ll just- uh.” You sniffled slightly, on the verge of tears. “I’ll just go.”
And with that you were out the door, running towards the elevator with a tear making it’s way down your cheek.
Later that evening Evan couldn’t stand he things he said. He was just so tired. He didn’t mean the things he said, obviously, but he just couldn’t talk about his feelings. He had trouble talking to people normally, so when his feelings came up he shut down. He knows how harsh he was, and he flinched at himself every time he thinks about what happened.
You had exchanged numbers the first day you visited, but he doubted you wanted to ever see him again. He looked over at the flowers you had got him and frowned as he realized they were wilted.
Monday, July 28
You didn’t leave your room. You couldn’t. How could you have been so stupid? You shouldn’t have mentioned his emotions and you shouldn’t have tried to convince him it would help to talk about something he clearly didn’t want to talk about.
Meanwhile Evan was writing and erasing a million texts to send you to say he was sorry.
Tuesday, August 4th
No new messages to: Y/N
You missed him, but how were you supposed to come back from that?
“hey I used to be your bestfriend until i overstepped my boundaries and now you hate me!”
No new messages to: Evan
He wished he was good with words. He missed not only his bestfriend, but you. he missed the late night phone calls talking about whatever you guys could come up with. He missed the random texts about what you should get from mcdonalds as if he knew what you wanted at that moment. he missed your smile and he missed your unjudgmental presence. He wished he could just send a freaking text.
Thursday, August 6th
I’m sorry. Can u come over?
Why would u want me to? You were right, I should just mind my own business.
No I swear I didn’t mean it like that.
The how did you mean it?
I didn’t mean it at all! Please just come visit and we can talk
You pushed the door open and crossed your arms over your chest, trying to make yourself feel as small as possible. He looked at you took in your appearance.
Shorts with a gray hoodie, that looked normal.
Dark eye bags, paler than he remembered, blank expression, that was not normal.
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” The words fell out of his mouth like he had no control over them. “I was so rude and I understand if you never wanna see me again and thats fine! I just missed you a lot and I wish I could take what I said back because I didn’t mean it and I was just so stupid and tired an-”
You let out a long sigh and rubbed your temples.
“Evan what am I doing wrong here? I thought I was actually having a good friendship for once and then I screwed it up.”
“Why do you think it hurt so much when you yelled at me? I can handle outbursts Evan, but not when they confirm everything I thought I was doing wrong.” You leaned your head against the wall of his room and tried not to make eye contact.
“It whatever ev, I shouldn’t have came back I’m sorry.” You adjusted your purse and lifted yourself from the wall you were leaning against, ready to run as soon as you could. Before you could make any actual movement though, he was out of his hospital bed and in front of you, shaking hands and all.
He stopped your escape and crushed the air out of your lungs with a bear hug. You were frozen, why was he hugging you?
Eventually, you relaxed into him and he dragged you onto his tiny hospital bed.
“I should be sorry.” You mumbled into his neck.
He looked so guilty in the brief moment he had looked down at you, but it quickly became a small smile.
“Y/N, no. I just don’t do well when I talk about stuff like that.”
You nodded slightly into his shoulder to show you understood.
“I’m still sorry.”
He stared at you for he longest time before he just simply kissed your temple. After realizing what he had just done, he started to freak out and he was shaking and stuttering. He had never been this close to a girl before, much less a girl he liked before.
“Oh I-I didn’t, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anyth-”
You shut him up by gently taking his hand and interlocking your fingers with his. He stared at your hands in disbelief before looking back at you.
“I’m perfectly comfortable around you.” And you would fall asleep with his and your hands intertwined together, listening to his heartbeat.
He was falling; but this time, not from a tree. this time he was falling for a good reason. This time he was falling for you.
(( A followup on this post in the event anyone cares ))
The LGBT+ safe space (Out Youth, I forgot to mention the name) is the most friendly and welcoming place I have ever been in
Also, I got to introduce myself as Tristen which felt amazing (I’m not called Tristen anywhere other than Out Youth and online)
I said in the original post that I didn’t haven’t had any friends in the same city for months… and I exchanged contact info with two people there after very pleasant conversation, mutually establishing we wanted to be friends
There were tons of fellow non-binary people there too and I just…… I had problems walking in the door to the building because I started to fffffreak out but it ended so well??? And it turns out the first person and I share a special interest (the Sims game franchise), we’ve been texting about it for the past hour straight