-douche with green tea
-eat an entire jar of coconut oil everyday
-cut gluten,eggs,dairy,MSGs, meats, oxygen, and sugar out of your diet
-never stop doing yoga, you have to do it every second of your life. Sleep in downward dog, shower in warrior position, walk on your hands
-shove kale up your ass
And last, but not least
- just be happy all the time. You know, the only real disability in life is a bad attitude
[image desc: 5 images of me, a nonbinary indian wheelchair user wearing a flower headdress, claw necklace, and black dress surrounded by flowers, skulls, and fruits. (1) me sitting in my wheelchair looking off into the distance (2) me laying down surrounded by moss, flowers, bones and fruit (3) me holding a pomegranate looking at the camera (4) me sitting on the floor with my arm resting on a draped stool (5) me in my wheelchair holding a skull and pomegranate]
I see a lot of people talking about how we need disabled actors playing disabled roles. I agree but but we also need disabled directors, disabled writers or maybe just disabled people helping to teach the actor how to play the role correctly. for example if an abled person has been playing a character for two years on a tv show and that character becomes disabled, they can’t recast the character so the part is played by a disabled person but what they can do is hire a disabled person to coach the actor to make sure they are playing the roles correctly and to show them the realities of living with a disability. They can even hire a disabled writer or writing assistant to help the writers to get the story right and avoid negative tropes. Us disabled people need more than just being portrayed in the media. We need to be portrayed right and we need more disabled people involved to make that happen.
• Don’t move them unless the wheelchair user in question says you can. Even if we’re not in them at the time! Shout-out to the nurse who, during my last hospital trip, tried to put my wheelchair in the nurse’s station, thus effectively stopping me from going TO THE TOILET without asking someone. And, of course, various shout-outs to people who thought *I* was furniture and moved my chair while I was in it.
• Don’t lean on them unless you have permission from the wheelchair user in question. Again, they aren’t FURNITURE. They’re part of us. Lean on stuff that’s stuff, not stuff that’s people.
• If you walk into someone’s wheelchair, while someone is in that wheelchair, you’re walking into a person. You’re jolting us, shaking us, and potentially causing us pain (I have chronic conditions, and YOU ARE HURTING ME). Do what you do anytime you walk into someone, and apologise. It doesn’t need to be any more than, “Oop, sorry,” it doesn’t have to be a big thing (please don’t make it a big thing) but ACKNOWLEDGE US jesus christ this is so alienating. I get walked into all the time and excepting my loved ones I can’t even remember the last time I got an apology.
Wheelchairs are not furniture. They’re assistive devices. They are, for all intents and purposes, part of us and it is frankly incredibly rude not to treat them as such.
disabled people buying cute mobility aids, pill boxes, joint braces, etc. are NOT just buying them as a fashion accessory. we need that shit and if we have the option to buy an aid that is pretty as well as practical to make us feel a little better about needing them in the first place then we have every right to use them without being judged for it.
I absolutely hate when people say “so and so did x in spite of their disability” or “so and so overcame their disability and did x.” Because really, that’s not how it works. Disability and illness shapes a person and their experiences. Most of the time, it’s not “in spite of” our disabilities, it’s because of them.
Let’s look at some historical examples, shall we?
Take FDR. He was a wealthy, pompous playboy from a political dynasty who Gatsby-ed his way through the Roaring 20s without ever experiencing the real world. He didn’t become president in spite of having polio, he became president because of it. At a time of national hopelessness and desperation, his polio put him into the real world- into a place of understanding for the common man affected by The Depression. It humanized him and it got him 4 terms. It inspired the March of Dimes which consequently ended up funding Salk’s vaccine. That’s not “in spite of,” that’s because of.
Beethoven did not make music in spite of being deaf. In fact, he revolutionized Romantic music because of his distinct lack of high notes. His symphonies, especially his later works, are all much lower than what was common at the time, and it was all because he couldn’t hear high-pitched sounds.
Frida Kahlo did not blur the lines between Expressionism and Surrealism in spite of being disabled, she did it because she was bedridden and bored. Because she was in pain and she was shunned. In the same way her relationship with Diego Rivera inspired her works, so did being disabled. She didn’t overcome anything expect societies limitations.
The truth is, disability and illness are integral parts of our identities and they do shape our lives. The worlds we build and create are not made by overcoming the hindrance of disability, they are made because of the perspective it gives up.
Erase the idea of in spite of. Erase the idea that our success comes from overcoming anything other than deep-seeded ableism.
[Mikki Kendall tweeted: “I am fascinated by how many people have assumed the kid having the tantrum on the train is on the spectrum & thus needs extra patience.
I can say with some authority a Black kid on the spectrum having that same issue wouldn’t get half as much patience nor would his parent.
My youngest is on the spectrum. He had a tantrum in our house when he was 2. My white neighbor threatened to call the cops on me. But okay… When I tell you that my kids couldn’t act that way? That’s totally the voice of experience. Because Black boys on the spectrum can’t do that.
At least not if you want to avoid being reported to DCFS or having them handcuffed at school or you know… shot by a cop. Just saying.
This is the voice of bitter Black mom speaking though. Because I spend 2-3 days every year at his school dealing with racist assumptions.
Black boys do not get to have tantrums in public. They do not get to have them at school either. No matter what’s going on. Trust me on that.
Because (and here is indeed a fuck you very much) they will get killed if they cannot control themselves. No matter what’s going on.
I have to make sure kid #2 doesn’t have a meltdown in public, isn’t too loud at home either. We live in the hood for a reason.
If he’s having a rough day? My neighbors won’t call the cops. They will look out for him. But then they’re Black & they get it.
We literally work with him constantly on impulse control & self soothing. Because I want him to live past 20.
[link to related NPR article]
“There’s no compassion for kids like my son. My patience for your white ass feelings about Black parenting is pretty much nonexistent.
I’m a hardass. I know that. I do. But then I’ve had a dozen giant red warning signs that my kid can’t stay alive if he’s not in control.
Get at me when your kid on the spectrum has a meltdown & you get a call about the possibility of charges being pressed for yelling.
Because he’s tall & Black & repeated the same profanity as all the other kids involved in the fight. Call me when you realize he’s at risk.
I want you to sit at a table & listen to an adult white woman tell you she doesn’t like teaching your kid because he’s scary at 8.
Not that he’s been violent or threatening. Nope. He just yelled at her one day after she blamed him for being bullied. Go to that meeting.
Get a call about your kid being a problem because he’s too flat when he speaks. Not that he’s done anything. They don’t like his voice.
Have the “We’re going to write him up for trespassing” conversation because your kid sat in an empty classroom to study. Have that call.
My kids get good grades. They don’t do half the shit I did. But I have two sons & I stay in their schools keeping them safe from admins.
Meanwhile one of my neighbors did 10 years for attempted murder. He’s got no training. But he stops & chats with every kid on our block.
He warns them off gangs & listens when they’re mad. He helped teach kid #2 to throw a football. Because he knows how easy it is to get lost.
The grace you show to white kids? Try showing it to all kids. Our girls aren’t grown at 5 & our boys aren’t weapons at birth.“]
[image desc: 5 photos of me, a nonbinary indian wheelchair user, as a pin up vampire (1) me in a classic pinup coke pose (2) me holding a coke bottle filled with blood with one leg over the side of my wheelchair showing fangs with blood on my lip (3) me holding a champagne glass of blood with blood dripping from my lip (4) me holding the coke bottle with blood dripping from my lip (5) a glamour shot of me with blood on my neck]