are acceptable to me

friendly reminder that heterosexual trans people don’t experience straight privilege

Communicating with autistic people

In light of April & autism acceptance month I thought I’d make a post about how autistic people communicate, because understanding and accepting our communication styles is one of the most important parts of autism acceptance. The things listed here are from my own experience and from information I have gathered from talking to other autistic people, it is by no means exhaustive. If you want to add something on I have missed feel free :+)

  • Lack of eye contact doesn’t mean we aren’t engaged, oftentimes maintaining eye contact is actually more distracting than not. 
  • Our body language is different. Trying to assume how we feel from your knowledge of body language will often lead you to wrong conclusions.

  • Our tone does not always indicate our feelings, it’s often more telling to listen to the words we are saying themselves then try to guess what our tone means
  • We will likely have difficulty reading your body language and tone. The subtleties of communication don’t come easy to us, if you want us to understand what you are feeling or offer support it is most useful to communicate your feelings thoughts and needs directly.
  • Things we say may come off as rude or overly blunt, even if it is not intended this way.
  • We have varying degrees of understanding sarcasm. Some of us struggle to understand any of it, some of us actively understand and employ it and everything in between. We are also prone to literal-mindedness in general meaning we may have trouble with taking other forms of jokes or figurative speech literally. 
  • Our communication abilities often vary with things like stress and sensory input. For example, under little stress or a good amount of sensory input I can communicate enough to explain detailed thoughts as in this post, form sentences and employ tone and cadence to my speech. At varying levels of sensory input I may begin to speak in monotone, take several minutes to put together a single sentence, or be unable to access most of my vocabulary aside from sounds and simple words like “yes” and “no”. 
  •  It is very common for autistic people to empathize by comparing similar experiences. (for example: person a: “My dog got sick, I’m worried about him.” autistic person: “Oh, my cat got sick last year too.”) People who do not empathize like this often see it as ‘one-upmanship’ when the intent is only to empathize or express sympathy. 
  •  We may interrupt you before you’re done speaking. It’s very common for autistic people to have difficulty telling when other people are finished speaking. If we interrupt you it is almost never out of rudeness but we genuinely cannot tell when is the right time to speak.
  •  We may occasionally take over the conversation especially with info-dumping. When I info-dump I’m very excited and I feel like I can barely keep the information I want to talk about down. Being so excited, I tend to ramble for a long time, elaborating unimportant details as I am unaware to whether the listener is bored or even listening. I’m not saying you have to stay completely engaged and remember every detail but at very least don’t get angry with an autistic person for their infodumping.
  •  A lot of autistic people also have auditory processing problems. This means that what you say might not register for a few moments or you might have to repeat yourself. Please be patient with somebody who has poor auditory processing, as it’s not really something we can help. 
  •  If you are asking the autistic person to do a task or activity of any sort (giving them directions to somewhere, asking them to come to a party, asking them to help you fold your laundry) we usually need very clear and precise instructions or plans.

These are all common parts of autistic communication styles but it’s important to remember not every autistic person is the same or will have all of these traits. We are as varied in personality, thoughts, and behaviors as allistic people, but we are tied together by shared experiences. Being aware of these traits and unlearning them as inherently bad communication styles is helpful to autistic people as a whole, but if there’s a specific autistic person in your life you want to better communicate with, the best thing you can do is ask them how you can do that and honestly discuss differences in communication and needs to best understand each other.

a quick thing for Autism Acceptance Day/Month!!

how to support autistic people this month:

  • don’t support Autism Speaks – it’s an awful “charity” that harms autistic people more than it helps them
  • do support organisations run by and for autistic people, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network ( @autisticadvocacy​ ) and the Autism Women’s Network ( @autisticwomen​ )
  • don’t “light it up blue” for “autism awareness” – these things are heavily associated with Autism Speaks, and with the dangerous misconceptions it spreads about autism
  • do use the hashtag #RedInstead to fight back against #LightItUpBlue
  • do promote and celebrate autism acceptance (not just awareness!)

and, most importantly:

  • do listen to what actual autistic people have to say – we know better than our family members, “autism experts”, or any non-autistic person!!
Unpopular opinions

• there are only two genders
• black people can be racist
• women can be sexist
• not wanting to date someone because they are trans is not transphobic
• gender is not a social construct
• gender is not a spectrum
• biological sex is indeed a thing
• transage is disturbing
• otherkin is insane and not real
• women can rape and abuse
• you have to have dysphoria to be trans
• there are only four sexualities.
• micro aggressions are ridiculous
• fat acceptance is harmful
• women in the west are not oppressed
• there is no rape culture
• it is not sexual harassment or objectification to compliment a woman’s appearance
• men are not scary or aggressive
• women aren’t angels
• men and women aren’t the same
• dysphoria is a mental illness
• trans people should go to the bathroom of the gender they pass as.

-from a bisexual transman who is sick of your bullshit.

hey since it’s autism acceptance day why don’t all y’all allistic allies out there reblog this post about an autistic person trying to make rent!

i make noise muffling headbands/beanies and padded arm protectors for self injuring episodes! all of these come in pain (1 solid color) or plants/space/animals i’ve been getting a ton of positive feedback on my products, all of which are under $22 dollars and have only $1 shipping.

please reblog so i can make my rent, help disabled people out, and aso hopefully get enough money for a therapy dog!

i haven’t sold anything in a couple of days so any reblogs could really help me!

etsy link for pangeamea

Part of the team

Cross posted to ao3


Ford looks at the piles of paper scattered around the table and groans. “This is just for the room assignments for the roadies?”

“Sadly, yes,” Lardo says, patting her on the back. “It only looks complicated though. I mostly have a system you can stick with, you’ll just have to worry about the new frogs next year.”

“Somehow I almost wish I was trying to schedule rehearsals again,” Ford mutters.

“Here,” Lardo hands her a small red folder. “Look, this is the basic set up, okay? I have one for hotels that have strictly doubles, one that has doubles and singles, and hotels where you might have to squish 3 per room. It happens sometimes.”

“Okay,” Ford flips the folder open and compares the sheets side by side. “So some people are always together, some people move around, and - what are those red exclamation points at the bottom?”

“Those mean absolutely not,” Lardo points out one pair. “Like, Whiskey and Tango get along really well normally, but before a game Whiskey needs quiet, and Tango always has questions. Terrible combination, as we discovered on their first roadie. Tango and Nurse is actually a good combination, because Nurse likes a bit of a distraction, and he can usually direct the conversation back to a somewhat relevant topic. Whiskey and Dex get stuck together a lot, because they both appreciate the quiet, unless I know Chow and Dex have a comp sci project due. Then I’ll try and put them together because they’ll probably be up half the night anyways, and then you don’t have two pissed off roommates. Ransom and Holster shouldn’t be split up, because frankly, it just makes them sad, and then they pout, which is a little bit pathetic but also endearing?”

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