archer doctor krieger

This is easily one of the best scenes in Archer.

It, (1)shows the truly messed up nature of people, (2) Shows how it seems a lot of rich people think they can get away with saying or doing whatever they want and (3) Shows the real friendship that all these people have. They are assholes towards each other basically 24/7, but they WILL NOT tolerate anyone fucking with them in any way, shape, form or fashion. Ray stand’s up for pam when this rich asshole makes Pam cry and Archer throws a bottle staring the brawl because said rich asshole refused to apologize and played all of them.

They may act like they hate each other on the surface, but they really do care about each other.

  • Krieger: All righty, can somebody give me a hand?
  • Cheryl: But Doctor, I thought the patient was getting the hand.
  • Krieger: Speaking of hands, nurse, I'm -
  • Cheryl: Overplaying yours?
  • Krieger: Well, I was gonna say "Putty in yours," my dear, but I'll have to hand it to ya.
  • Cheryl: Hmmm. Keep your hands to yourself, Doctor.
  • Cyril: Can we have a show of hands, who thinks this is getting out of hand?
  • Ray: GOD DAMN IT! CAN YOU PLEASE. SHUT UP. AND SEW ON. MY ROBOT HAND?!
  • Pam: ...Hand job.
  • Krieger: I just wanna help you finish your new spaceship. Why is that weird?
  • Barry: Why is that weird - Because my sworn purpose in life is to murder your little buddy Archer?
  • Kreiger: Archer? No way man, I... hate that guy!
  • Barry: Since when?
  • Krieger: Since, um, he... slept with my girlfriend.
  • Mitsuko: Dattara iinoni... (I wish I was...)
  • Krieger: *mumbling* Keep it up.
  • Barry: God, that is just classic Archer!
  • Krieger: Right? I mean, not a huge surprise from a self-centered alcoholic who feels compelled to sleep with every woman he meets because that's the only way to fill the emptiness inside where his mother's love should - ow!
  • Barry: Do what?
  • Krieger: One sec? *ducks under table*
  • Archer: *whispering* What the shit?
  • Krieger: *whispering* What, you said be convincing!
  • Archer: *whispering* Convincing! Not deliberately hurtful!