Those of you who’ve played Dungeons and Dragons might have heard of the Dungeons and Dragons sourcebook The Book of Vile Darkness. But for those of you who don’t, a brief primer:

During the third out of soon-to-be-five (six if you count Pathfinder) editions, they released a book that essentially embodied all the fears of the crazy Christian conservatives back in the 80s, talking all about evil, nasty things within the game’s universe, such as the leaders of its various flavors of hell, evil artifacts, drugs, torture devices, the Black Speech,vile spells, ect.

It was written by Monte Cook who, in addition to masterminding said third edition, also wrote the critically-acclaimed Planescape setting, which was known for its deep and philosophical bent on issues of morality and cosmology. Which is weird, because the BoVD was almost the opposite of that.

It was gleefully stupid and ludicrously over-the-top in a “Saturday morning cartoon villain with an R-rating” way, and thus it was roundly mocked by the D&D community.

This article by the Insidious/Awesome Bogleech gives a good highlight reel, though it misses the ludicrously dumb “Nipple Clamp of Exquisite Pain” in the magic items section.

And yes, you heard that right folks, the man behind one of the most critically-acclaimed settings in D&D history actually introduced an item known as “The Nipple Clamp of Exquisite Pain” to D&D canon, along with a crap-ton of anti-BDSM unfortunate-implications sprinkled about the text.

But anyway, along with the hillarously over-the-top Book of Vile Darkness, D&D also produced the Book of Exalted Deeds. And while the BoVD was ridiculous and camp, it was also a lot of fun. The Book of Exalted Deeds on the other hand… Eugh.

While it included the flipside of a lot of the BoVD’s content (Archangels instead of Archdevils, saintly relics instead of torture devices, really morally dubious/horrifying poisons that only affect bad people instead of normal apparently-more-evil poison), it was just kinda dull. Not goofy, not over the to, just… dull.

Perhaps it was because of the restraint they took in depicting Good in that book, for while they tried to keep their hand light on the BoED’s stuff, ultimately making it bland and toothless, they went full mustache-twirling; manically-laughing Snidely Wiplash on the BoVD, thus making the latter far more fun to read.

So here’s the whole point of this long, rambling article: My list of what the Book of Exalted Deeds would be like if it was just as over the top as the BoVD. In my opinion, this’d probably be for the better, though keep in mind that this definiton of “better” is coming from a guy who unironically likes The Last Dragon and almost likes the Golam-Globus disco-Biblical-musical The Apple un-ironically.

Anyway, onto the list:

-One of the monsters included would have been a rideable butterfly-winged unicorn kitten who craps ice-cream (Which works as a Potion Of Cure Critical Wounds) and pukes rainbows (Which works as a Prismatic Spray)

-Other monsters would include a weirdly friendly ooze made of a honey-like substance, aberrations that are essentially winged; tentacled; seven-eyed; seven-horned; seven-mawed; blood-vomiting space-Jesuses, a golem made of saintly relics, an upper-planes equivalent to the Succubus, a white; feathery breed of dinosaur that’s sacred to some religion or another, and a Pink Dragon who happens to be a reformed breed of Chromatic Dragon and has a breath weapon made of sparkles. Sparkles that also act as Glitterdust that gets nastier as it levels up and also does cold damage.

-There would also be several Flumph varians, including the pointy-headed Heirophant Flumph and the nigh-legendary Stargod Flumph.

-There would be a magical psychologist prestige class, with a focus on abilities that get villains to change their evil ways, complete with the ability at their final level to magically retrieve the villain’s equivalent of Rosebud from Citizen Kane.

-There would also be a prestige class based on Sailor Moon, another one based on Batman, and another one based on John Lennon. Yes, I’m aware of the problems of that last one, but the irony makes it funnier.

-There would be a new mechanic for harnessing-the-goodwill-of-the-people-you’ve-met-in-your-journeys-to-blow-up-the-big-bad-evil-guy-with-a-blast-of-holy-light ala the ending of every cheesy JRPG/shonen anime ever.

-Artifacts would include a bardic lute known as Ranbow In The Dark (With the coloration to match its name), the Oil-Of-Reviving-That-Person-You-Loved-Who-Died-In-Your-Backstory, a bow that fires Couatls (Think really holly winged snakes) instead of arrows, a chainsaw-holy-sword approximately the size of a man and a bag that contains random cute baby animals with multiple random; deadly templates attached.

-There would be a spell that makes the target reconsider their life on a failed will save, along with another one that makes them keep vomiting flowers for several hours, another spell that summons the target’s mother to chastise them for their wrongdoings, and another spell that turns a pot of up to 7 servings of chicken-noodle soup into a Potion of Healing.

-An extensively detailed description of the politics on the Upper planes (D&D’s various equivalents to Heaven basically), including such things as the Ascentic Archangel Pistis Sophia’s naked rampage across the 9 Hells (Which earned her the grudge of the Archdevil Dispater for her troubles), Erathol the Seer Archangel’s enormously complex and decades-spanning plans to avoid a future calamity he predicted, The Guardinal Talsid & his Five Companions plans to make themselves actually fucking relevant (Because nobody gives a shit about Guardinals), and the story of that wild party Queen Morwel of the Court Of Stars had that left her really sore at the Archangel Raziel (Though both refuse to talk about it)

-The reformed Mind Flayer would stay in the book. Yes there actually was one. Though, I’d take away the Vow of Nonviolence and just say she eats the brains of the wicked because, man, that just don’t make sense with Mind Flayer biology.

Huh. I’m now thinking this version of the BoED might actually be pretty cool. Any of you agree with me, or am I just being a dingus again?

My current divinity quandry

So I’m mulling over what to call Barbatos, Archdevil and lord of the first ring of hell in my home games (go look him up he’s cool as shit) since he seems to fit so perfectly into my frontier game.

Right now I’m torn between either Father Willow or Father Mistletoe. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to hit me up I would love to hear them.

@mylivetube helped me come to terms with something of
#paramount #importance
.. of wether
was flying the
or it was used as it truly is

it’s true ..
#rainbows were cool when I was a kid.
And #DougHennings
wasn’t #gay
it was fuckin scary and


Baalzebul, Lord of the Seventh

A continuation of my attempts to rewrite the flavor text of D&D, starting with the nine Hells.  By the way,  Baalzebul and Beelzebub are in fact two different beings, the latter serves Sataniel at Perdition, while the former serves Asmodeus in Baator.  And if you think that is confusion, some of us studied Babylon/Summerian mythology.  

The Lord of the Seventh Baalzebul, Lord of Waste, the Lord of Filth, the Slug Lord.

The master of the Seventh Level of Hell, Maladomini, is the Fallen Angel Baalzebul is one of the most vile creatures in the world.  Baalzebul was originally an archon named Triel who succumbed to the temptation of power and ambition, and consequentially fell into Hell. He was recruited into the ranks of the devils by Asmodeus and quickly climbed through their ranks, assuming control of the seventh layer to become one of the most powerful devils in Baator.

Before the Reckoning of Hell, Baalzebul and Mephistopheles both had three archdevils under their influence. Baalzebul was allied with Zariel, former Lord of the First, Belial, Lord of the Fourth and Moloch, Baalzebul’s former viceroy of the sixth plane. Baalzebul attacked Mephistopheles’s forces and gained a quick advantage which was lost once Mephistopheles’s armies regained footing. Soon Baalzebul’s armies were pushed back to Maladomini, the home city of the Lord of the Flies. There, Asmodeus convinced the armies to turn on their masters. In the aftermath, Baalzebul lost the honor of having a viceroy when Moloch was replaced by the Hag Countess (who has since been replaced by Glasya).

Baalzebul and Belial are the most prominent Fallen among the 9 (other than Asmodeus), was for a long time the “Lord of Lies” in the most literal sense, with his infamous terrifying bug eyes.  He was once known as “Lord Triel”, and was no relationship with Beelzebub of the Inferno. He was…well he wasn’t pretty but he was a greater producer of great things none the less, dwelling in the beautiful “City of Paradise” in his seemingly pristine layer.  However, all that changed during the Reckoning of Hell ten thousand years ago, as he was the single most aggressive Devil in the fight against Asmodeus, and inflicted the most damage.  As punishment, Asmodeus dubbed him the “Slug Archduke” and transformed him into a disgusting, massive,filth covered slug, which secrets ichor and slime that corrupts everything it touches.  His name was changed from Triel to Baalzebul, a dig at his rivalry with the Lord of Flies, the Lord of the 7th was thoroughly humiliated.  To add to his frustration, his puppet lord Moloch was banished entirely from Hell, and the 6th was given first to the Hag Countess, and then to the Princess of Hell, leaving Baalzebul, once one of the most powerful Devils now firmly the third most powerful.  

For thousand of years, Triel was the success story of Hell, a Fallen Archon who was able to rise through the ranks almost entirely through his lawful perfectionism and hard work.   When he arrived in Hell, he fought brilliantly in the Blood War, being the most successful general in history until Bel (another recent humiliation against the lord) and unlike every other Devil his level still maintain something resembling the beauty of the upper planes (though still in an Evil Way).  He was even able to effectively rule two levels, though his viceroy Moloch, and for ten thousand years it looked like there was an alternative path to power in the Infernal ranks.  Mephistopheles and Triel represented two different approaches to power, the former rising through the ranks of each layer before finally taking out the top, and the latter slowly conquering the layers before turning them against Asmodeus proper.  Baalzebul gave rise to the idea that conquest of two levels could be done, and so a great deal of internal fighting occurred among the lords, in particular among the lords of the first 4 layers, where conquering each other seemed like an easier prospect than working up through the ranks.  This actually lead to the overthrow of quite a few lords, and major events events like the rise of Bel and Belial.  Before his fall, Triel had control of two layers and was well on his way to taking over a third, the realm of Geryon, when the Reckoning ruined everything for him. Well not quite everything.  Even without his layers, Baalzebul still controls the seventh layer and is the third most powerful Devil in existence, and while his form is now disgusting, it is no less fact some could argue he is actually more powerful now in physical strength if not in armies.  And even within the 6th layer, there are still many Devils who are loyal to the Slug Lord, and Moloch is still loyal to him….kinda.  However the greatest hit to Baalzebul’s power was his indomitable work ethic, which has been weakened since his transformation and has caused him to become lethargic and depressive of late, at least in terms of his traditional projects.  However he has become even more involved in the affairs of hell politically, and has employed his vast magical powers to try to manipulate establish his place.  Baalzebul’s greatest focus is his war with Mephistopheles, a war that has consumed the two of them since Hells creation.  The fact that Mephistopheles got off essentially with a slap on the wrist for being equally vicious in the attempted coup only infuriates Baalzebul more.   Baalzebul was, for a long time, one of Asmodeus’s favored. He controlled not only his own layer of Hell but the Sixth as well, through his viceroy Moloch. Baalzebul’s greatest failing is ambition. Even with the power and prestige he attained, he was never satisfied. As the politics of the Nine Hells drew him deeper into plots and conspiracies, he found himself at greater and greater odds with Asmodeus until the two came into conflict during the Reckoning. During the Reckoning, Baalzebul’s forces challenged Asmodeus himself, but were thwarted when Mephistopheles’s troops turned on his own. To punish Baalzebul for his insubordination, Asmodeus changed his formerly angelic form into a melted, sluglike one. Suffering from depression, Baalzebul’s perfectionism has lapsed, and his layer of hell shows the signs. Like many of his fellow rebels, Baalzebul suffered for opposing the Lord of the Ninth and for his disloyalty, he was transformed into the hideous creature he is today. Baalzebul still counts Belial an ally, but he is uncertain of Fierna, whom he sees as a threat to their alliance thanks to her flowering relationship with the new Lord of the Sixth. The Slug Archduke blames everyone but himself for his predicament, especially Mephistopheles. However, Baalzebul reserves a special hatred for Asmodeus. His curse is more than just an obstacle; it is humiliating. Baalzebul will avenge himself and regain his true form. It is just a matter of time. Baalzebul retains a sizable following on the Prime Material Plane. Mortals seem helplessly drawn to his doctrine of lies, his charm, and the power he offers. The most numerous of his followers are bugbears, who personify Baalzebul’s dualistic nature by being both strong and cunning.

Relationships- Baalzebul hates, HATES Mephistopheles, and to a lesser extent his ally Dispater, and fights an enteral war against him, costing millions of Devils per year.  He is allied with Belial in this endeavor, which means that Baalzebul regularly sends troops to fight against Mammon.  However he dislikes Fierna due to her close connection to Glasya, and if Belial wants to over throw her, he will find support from the Slug Lord.  Like everybody he hates Levistus, though he has a cease fire with him due to the fact that since his transformation, Baalzebul hates Asmodeus with an even greater passion than before, and hopes to destroy the Lord of the Nine once and for all, and Levistus might be a valuable ally.  He has even considered allying with Mephistopheles in this endeavor, however, the hated their runs too deep.  He hates, HATES his accidental creation Balim, and hopes to destroy the being who he secretly envies, and his cult are working hard to wipe out the Trash King.  The young god, understanding the hatred his “father” holds for him, has been fortifying his tiny kingdom in preparation, and has been trying to win good forces to his side to fight against the Slug Lord, but with very little success. FInally there is his hatred for the Courtier of Perdition, Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies.  For millions of years, Triel has lorded over the Fiendish lord as being the true “most beautiful Lord of the Lower Depths”, and the two have mocked and insulted each other ever since, and of course fighting many wars.  THus his transformation into a slug and his name change has delighted Beelzebub, and humiliated the Slug Lord, and this, more than anything else, the reason for his depression.  Thus he is determined to win a victory against the Lord of Flies, a victory that Asmodeus is secretly supporting, after all Beelzebub is an enemy of Hell after all, so a victory against him would only suit his purposes.  In fact, one such victory was already achieved the destruction of the Lord of Flies’ Avatar, which has done much to lift the spirits of the Slug lord, now he just needs a domestic victory to go with it.  Beelzebub for his part hates Baalzebul and has been trying to destroy his avatar, though this hasn’t been going well for some reason.

Avatar- In the last few centuries, no less than 15 attacks were launched upon Baalzebul’s avatar from the Lord of Flies’ agents, all of which were foiled. While a few of these were his own power, the vast majority required Asmodeus’ help and frankly its getting annoying.  Each of this assassination attempts cost Asmodeus devils, and while Baalzebul is powerful, the fact is in terms of raw power the Lord of Flies is far greater.  This is causing him to consider letting the Avatar die, but that might shatter the Slug Lord’s already weak mental health, and so he keeps the Avatar alive despite all of these attacks.

Cult- As one of the “Big Three” of Hell, Baalzebul has one of the largest cults in the Material Plane, though that is still very small by the standards of even hero-Deities.  As a patron of Strength, Guile, politics, lies, and perfection, his cult has a diverse range of ways to appeal to people.  Among the Bugbear population his worship is quite popular, and many major bugbear nations or tribes often have small cults dedicated to the Slug Lord.  In the meantime, he always has a subtle popularity among thieves, liars, mercenaries, revolutions and anybody plotting a coup.  Among all the Archdevils, Baalzebul’s cult most often relies upon altered rhetoric or presenting themselves as a popular alternative, and his cultists are encouraged to perform acts of charity or protection for the various locals, in fact many desperate revolutionary groups can find encouragement with Baalzebul’s followers, as they are willing to provide magic, weapons and supplies in return for a say in the government after the fact.

Of course, his cult in its own way backfired as well, during the Reckoning his cult was briefly left without a leader, and they started to take up their own form of worship, leading to the creation of the Hero-Diety Balim, which has wrecked havoc in his own politics.  This is doubly frustrating as Balim appears as Baalzebul use to, a beautiful angel.

Secrets- Baalzebul is a creature honestly contemplating suicide, and unlike Belial’s former master, not with any active encouragement.  Baalzebul still is a major force of power in the world, however, after all of his work, a million years effectively wasted, and his greatest source of personal pleasure destroyed, Baalzebul is becoming more and more despondent.  This hasn’t lead to any internal disruptions, the two attempts on his life ended….badly and he is still leagues more powerful than the next most powerful Devil, and even Glasya fears a personal confrontation with the Slug Lord.  Even the Lord of Hellfire, though more powerful, would be have to be careful in a fight with the Lord of Lies, for only a small mistake could lead to destruction.  However for all his power, Baalzebul has become increasingly Bi-polar lately, moving between extreme energy and brilliance and withdrawn depression.  This situation has become so bad that Asmodeus himself has taken notice, and is worried about the result.  Asmodeus allowed Baalzebul to rule two layers for so long because it gave the other Devils hope, and encouraged infighting among them, and provided a proper counter to Mephistopheles.  Once it looked like either Belial or Zapriel would be able to unify the first realms, Asmodeus allowed the Reckoning of Hell to occur to disrupt their plans.  This was doubly important to him as Baalzebul had in fact grown too powerful, and in order to put his daughter in control of the 6th, he would need to ensure that the other lord were too cowed to resist him.  The move to transform him was to prevent the dangerous Triel from unifying the remaining lords against the Hag Countess too quickly, and also for his own amusement.  In Asmodeus’ plan, the lords of the 7th and 8th would content themselves in their endless war while the remaining lords spent centuries trying to reorganize their forces, and the 9 hells would remain as they always should be, divided except under his control.  However, the loss of so much power so quickly has almost broken the once great Archdevil, and Baalzebul is starting to lose his game.  This is causing Asmodeus to worry, for without Baalzebul, Mephistopheles is far too great of a threat, and might be able to focus his full resources upon the Lord of the 9.  Even worse, without Baalzebul, many of the other lords might start to unite as well, as the Slug Lord and the Lord of Hell Fire worked hard to keep any other powers from interfering.  The creation of Balim was an unexpected side effect of Asmodeus’ plan, and it has demotivated Baalzebul to a point that has made the King of Hell nervous.  The second recent coup upon his life was not launched by local supporters, but by Asmodeus himself, and while it did fail, the Lord of the Nine was shocked to see how successful he was able to get against the Master of Lies.  Thus Asmodeus is engaged on a massive needlessly elaborate plan costing the lives of tens of thousand of devils to make….Baalzebul feel good about himself. Because this is infernal politics we are talking about here.  

Asmodeus’ needlessly elaborate plan. 

 Asmodeus understands that Levistus is as much a threat as Baalzebul for the same reason, the Prince of Betrayal is starting to realize Infernal Politics for the Shell game that they are, and handing him a nice victory to gloat over might distract him from realizing what is going on.  Also Glasya is a little bit too cocky after becoming Lord and needs a small humiliating (but not crippling) defeat in order to keep her in check and most importantly remind the other lords that she isn’t invincible and they have a chance against her, (and thus prevent an alliance).  I mean, really its for her own good, after all without some humiliating defeat she might look too powerful and they would have to team up to destroy her.  Really she should be thanking me…..ungrateful spoiled brat after all that I did to for her, honestly you’d think she would be more thankful and….anyways.  So the plan is this.  Glasya hates Levistus, and is trying to find proof of his being Neutral Evil in order to justify a full out war on him, and he is employing a great deal of Yugoloth mercenaries to sure up his support.  So what if we give him a chance to have a victory, Baalzebul can feel good about himself and a chance can happen for her to get knocked down a peg. So we will plan false information “proving” that Levistus is a Neutral Evil to Glasya spies and say it is being held by a major Yugoloth commander, she will seize the opportunity to find this proof and kill him, thus causing a defection of Yugoloth mercenaries, thus costing us a (minor) Blood War Battle.  This proof doesn’t exist of course, and the news of her failure will spread far and wide. Humiliation to her, victory for Levistus, and the one who pulled of this “Brilliant” scheme?  Baalzebul of course, in one of his manic phrases, we can give him this idea and ensure that it works.  Give him a nice victory to gloat over.  Also lets make this work in conjunction with a scheme to weaken Balim, I never wanted that little bastard around, maybe we can arrange to have one of his aspects destroyed by Baalzebul’s agents, might help our Lord of Lies feel better about himself.  Just need to do it so our fingerprints aren’t noticed so he can think he is doing stuff.  Destroying Beelzebub’s avatar was good, but seriously Slug Lord, get off your ass.  

Lord of the 6th, Glasya

This is part of my attempt to rewrite D&D’s fluff by combining the works of many other works.  This part, on the Lords of the Nine, mostly draws upon a mix of Dicefreaks, pathfinder, planescape and Tyrants of the Nine Hells.  And of course, Prince Hal as depicted in the histories planes.  I always hated how Glasya, the only female ruler, was constantly depicted as some sort of spoiled air head, and wanted to give her more depth….and the obviously place to go would be the greatest schemer of them all.  

Lord of the 6th, Glasya, Princess of Hell, and Master of Nepotism.

The Ruler of Malbolge has a long and contentious history, in the last cosmic cycle it has had no less than three major rulers.  Once the realm of Lillith, Moloch ruled the realm with the aid of Baalzebul for centuries, then fell into the hands of the Hag Countess, an evil outsider who shocked and confused the Devils, only now for the new ruler to be the daughter of the Lord of the 9 himself.  This latest development is particularly troubling for the minions, for in their minds nothing can be more horrifying than the idea of the 9 hells becoming dynastic, and it has put a time frame upon their planes to become the Lord of the 9 themselves.  

Glasya herself has had an equally elaborate history, and was a constant source of frustration for her father, getting involved in the power struggles between him and his wife (always taking her mother’s side) and after her death she was constantly defying him and generally being rebellious.  She hated her father because he was a control freak, because she loved her mother, because he was “always right” and because she felt he didn’t do enough to punish Levistus for killing her mother, as he wasn’t killed.   In one of her greatest moments of defiance, she became consort for Mammon, lord of the 3rd, much to her father’s chagrin.  Mammon delighted in the fact that he was able to fuck the daughter of the Lord of the 9, and Glasya delighted in infuriating her dad.  Her presence caused chaos in Mammon’s court, as his 8 other consorts were infuriated that the lowest ranked among them (another trick of Mammon to piss off her dad) wielded far more power than she should due to her father’s position, and they have hated her ever since.  Glasya spent some time traveling the planes to “discover herself” which generally meant kililng people, briefly tried to declare herself as “Neutral Evil’ to piss off her dad, spending some time in Gehenna’s court, and even jokingly joined the forces of Heaven, though they never took it seriously and neither did she.

Glasya is unbelievably beautiful despite her obviously diabolical appearance. It’s likely that, aside from Belial, she’s the most attractive devil in Hell. Glasya appears as a human woman just under 6 feet tall. Every aspect of her body somehow exceeds the desires of every male (and some females) of every humanoid race and subgroup while at the same time maintaining the same general perception. Glasya tends to wear long, white gauzy gowns that do nothing to hide her voluptuous form. She tends to go about barefooted, each toe adorned with a ring, much like her long fingers. Her wrists are bejewelled with bangles and bracelets, most beautifully crafted but mundane. She has long, black hair that reaches the small of her back, from which spread her large bat-like wings. Her skin is coppery, although she can change the color easily enough, and she has a pair of small coppercolored horns on her forehead. Her diabolical appearance is culminated with a long forked tail. Glasya speaks with a voice that communicates only pleasure, often punctuating her comments with by rolling her tongue across her teeth. It’s a shame that such beauty also houses such immense evil.

Glasya has had affairs with numerous Powers of Hell. These affairs are all one-sided for Glasya has yet to be touched by mortal or immortal. She is a diabolical virgin, her purity superficial for she is nothing less than rotten through and through. Of her dalliances, the best known of these was her time with Mammon. Glasya perceived and continues to view Mammon as beneficial for the material wealth he lavished (and continues to lavish) on her; however, Glasya viewed (and views) Mammon with nothing but contempt and, generally speaking, a traitor to her father. Aside from Mammon, Glasya has numerous contacts across Hell, most of them with devils who believe they will eventually dominate her. One of her strongest allies is Fierana, the Grand Duchess of Phlegethon (Phlegethos). While the Arch-Devil of Passion believes their alliance is mutually beneficial and lusts after the Princess, Glaysa has not once shared anything untoward with Fierana while she has learned a great deal about Phlegethon (Phlegethos) and diverts such information to her father.  That being said, they do legitimately get along and have a genuine friendship, bound together by the extreme sexism of hell.  Her relationship with Dispater is largely congenial and professional; however, not even the Iron Duke has been immune to her wooing, although she has never so much as let him touch her (while she touches him all the time). Glasya possesses no formal relationships with the other Lords of the Nine; she is on reasonably good terms with most of them, although she and Beelzebub have conversed a few times with him implying the benefits of an alliance. She has no interest in such, but has not indicated as much to the Lord of the Flies.

However, there is one devil for whom Glasya does have actual feelings, although none know of it and even she refuses to admit it. Merorem the Darkwind, the powerful Grand Duke of the Ebon Vale, has witlessly drawn Glasya’s inhuman and unholy affections. Of course, being a devil, Glasya has no idea how to cope with her feelings and, as a result, toys mercilessly with the Darkwind’s own emotions. Glasya hopes, perversely, to push Merorem to the point of rape, knowing full well the implications for her status and, as importantly, her father’s reaction to such a violation. The source of this behavior is unknown, although it is possibly due to the manner in which she was conceived. In any event, this capacity to love – however perversely – makes Glasya unique in Hell.

There is little love between Glasya and her brother Lixer, the Prince of Hell. Glasya detests her brother for two reasons: first, he is not a true devil due to his mortal heritage; and second, she despises the fact that he thinks he is more intelligent and makes no attempt to hide it. Still, Glasya is very capable of manipulating others to cause interference to Lixer’s plans and is intimately aware of most of his major activities. The truth is Glasya is far more motivated to do well when she competes with Lixer and this is precisely what their father wants to see. Glasya does not dwell much on the loss of her mother, Bensozia. When the Queen of Hell was alive, she taught her daughter a great deal about intrigue and Hell, but never shared her dread secret. Glasya was always very close to Bensozia, and her death has driven Glasya into becoming even more ambitious and dedicated to her hard work.  Still, she counts both Leviathan and Geryon as foes for their rolls in the Queen’s murder. She has no idea that Bensozia’s death was orchestrated by Asmodeus.

Glasya for her part continues to rule the 6th but has mostly been focusing upon her cult, for despite its small size it has grown very quickly.  She is also hoping to remove Asmodeus enemies first, after all efficiency is the most important part of Lawful, and to that end she has chosen Levistus as her first target.  While revenge is one of her primary reasons, she also understands that destroying the Prince of Betrayal will not seem to outsiders as a debilitate move to destroy all of the Archdevils not related to her family.  She also hopes to turn Fierna against her father, in part to remove the treacherous and unpleasant Belial, but also because she has come to honestly like Fierna and sees her as a real friend, as both are capable of actual emotions. Of course, this friendship doesn’t include anything resembling trust, and Glasya doesn’t have any such feelings (even a unique being such as her cannot trust) but she wouldn’t mind Fierna staying aboard as a loyal subordinate.  Glasya has also recently launched a surprise attack on Mammon’s court, killing all 9 of his consorts.  Why she sought to do this is unknown to the world at large, either as a way to slap Mammon in the face or possibly to indicate that he should only love her, though the real reason is to simply sow confusion in the lord of Greed.  She also is the only Archdevil who actually likes Bel, though she never shows it, because of his militaristic attitude towards the Blood War, and she wants her new Hell to be more representative  of that.  In fact, generally speaking, Glasya wants a Hell ruled by actual Devils rather than Fallen, Hellspawn, and…what ever Levistus is.  


I know you all, and will awhile uphold

The unyok’d humour of your idleness.

Yet herein will I imitate the Sun,

Who doth permit the base contagious clouds

To smother up his beauty from the world,

That, when he please again to be himself,

Being wanted, he may be more wonder’d at,

By breaking through the foul and ugly mists

Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.

If all the year were playing holidays,

To sport would be as tedious as to work;

But, when they seldom come, they wish’d-for come,

And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.

So when this loose behaviour I throw off,

And pay the debt I never promised,

By how much better than my word I am,

By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;

And, like bright metal on a sullen ground,

My reformation, glitt'ring o'er my fault,

Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes

Than that which hath no foil to set it off.

I’ll so offend to make offense a skill,

Redeeming time when men think least I will.

Glasya’s reputation as an airhead, foolishly rebelling her father in order to find herself is nothing more than a lie, an elaborate ruse to make people not take her seriously.  After all, everybody loves to hate on spoiled rich girls and patronizingly mock their attempts to be taken seriously, while secreting lusting after them, why should this be any different?  

The existence of the Hag Countess was seen by the Devils as one of the strangest moves by Asmodeus, and her relative weakness only contributed to that.  The Hag Countess only had the power equal to Bel, and yet she ruled over 5 dukes of hell (6 if you count Fierna) how could such a thing happen?  She served as a distraction to allow Asmodeus to work out the relationship between him and his daughter long enough to perform their coup without any problem.  

Glasya is basically Prince Hal, a brilliant actor whose ability to take on and discharge other personalities has allowed her to thrive in the deceptive and duplicitous world of Infernal politics.  Now that the "little girl” personal has “matured” and become the Stately Queen of the 6th Hell, she is respected and honored than ever before, and people see her as powerful and as untested, unaware that she has been playing a long game.  Only Mephistopheles actually suspects the truth of the Heir of Hell’s persona, and only because he himself is familiar with such acting, as show by his personal coup centuries before.  However he plays along, for Glasya is only scary to those who fear the Lord of the Nine, which Mephistopheles has long since forgotten about, instead focusing upon the destruction of her master.  Glasya, like Prince Hal, is a visionary and wishes to redefine the conception of Rulership, of Law, of Evil, and the nature of Hell.  However, for that to happen she must replace her father and usher in a new Infernal Era, a hell not defined by feudal divisional and personal dukedoms, but instead a true Infernal Empire, organized, efficient and centralized.  For this to happen however, she must remove her father, and such an act troubles her.  Not just because of how difficult it would be or the possibility of failure, but because for all of their fighting, arguments, and disagreements, she honestly loves her father.  And he, in his own way, loves her, though Asmodeus has noted that no other being in existence has infuriated him as much as she.  She understands that you can’t allow a fallen enemy to stay alive, for they will always try to take themselves back in control, once you taste power you can never let it go, however….she doesn’t wish to kill her father.  Dispose him, jointly rule with him, or even give him an entirely new domain, but she has no intention of killing him.  And Asmodeus knows this as well, for that is why love was the essential component of his creating her.  A prototype for a new species of Devils, those who love him personally, true genuine love, that will prevent them from killing him or dooming him to the fate he has given so many others (cough Levistus cough).  However there has been a slight kink in his plan, for he loves her too.  Of course, unlike his daughter, Asmodeus would kill her if he felt he had too, but he would regret it, and he would hesitate at first.  At least for a little while.  And he might even feel sad afterwards.  

What Asmodeus does not know is how brilliant she actually is, and like old Henry IV, he is not smart enough to release that what he expects in right in front of him all along.  

Cult: Before her ascension, Glasya had only a small cult of basic Devil Worshipers, mostly just seducers and politicians.  However now, she has the fastest growing Infernal cult, and while small in comparison to an actual god, she is getting quite a reputation as the infernal Messiah.  Generally speaking she is worshiped as the Mother of Hell (the fact that she is not a mother makes the nature of the title rather unclear) or the Infernal messiah, the new creature that will usher in a glorious Hellish Golden Age that will finally wipe the Abyss off the planet and remove the threat of Chaos once and for all.  Lawfully inclined Churches have sprung up to her worship, and in fact her High Temple has come into existence in the Worldwound, much to the shock of her father, and stands as a bastion against the Demonic forces.  Her unique make up (see below) can be felt at least on a subtle level by many Divine inclined casters and her worship as a great and powerful being of the New Age has quite naturally gone along with that.  Of course, the cult is not quite sure what to do with their new found Hell Princess, and so mostly just attack demons, thinking that they might somehow win this time.  And while this has proven to be “very annoying” to the Demons in question, this hasn’t really done much for the actual cause of the Blood War.  Glasya herself doesn’t actually understand what to do with these cults, for as soon as they spring up, individual preachers start interpreting it differently, and the mob gets hold of that and before she knows it the precious cult she started becomes tainted by…chaos.  She normally just lets these religious movements burn themselves out (sometimes literally) doing some harm against the Demons, but when she found the souls entering her domain they were….happy.  Of course, she still consumed them (nom nom nom) but the fact is that her cultists don’t show the same terror and self loathing that most of them ever have before, and instead seem to be happy to arrive in Hell.  What she plans to do next is uncertain, but what ever it might be, it will be bad.   Really bad.  Like Prince Hal in the inn, she is still adjusting to her powers and trying to test their limits, before she puts them to their new use.  And like Prince Hal, there might be many innocent people giving their lives for a war that doesn’t concern them, as she plans to end the Blood War once and for all.  

Avatar- her Avatar has only appeared once, and then only for a Day, to drive back the forces of the Abyss at the Worldwound, and then retreating quickly back home.  However she did manage to kill thousands of demons in that time, and when she did, her reputation grew.  However, she is still getting used to her Archdevil powers, and so she uses her Avatar, sparingly, as it would be quite the loss of faith if so early on in her reign she lost her avatar.  She suspects that something might have happened to Fierna’s in the same regard, though she isn’t entirely sure of the embarrassing and quite silly to boot truth.  Her greatest desire (other than killing him) is to hunt down and destroy Levistus avatar, knowing how much it would infuriate him, and twice before she has attempted this and failed.  Knowing that she is personally more powerful, she has considered having her Avatar attack him directly, but ironically she too is crippled by fear of losing what she has.  Unlike Levistus, she hasn’t been able to properly appreciate the irony.  

      Super Secrets: Devils cannot love.  Demons are capable of love, though it is a selfish, cruel, abusive, love, and Devils can love a system, a country, a concept, but human relatable love is beyond them.  Thus “relatable” emotions are beyond them, because they are don’t care about individuals, it is the system, the big picture, the whole which matters to them in their black hearts, love is nothing more than a weak sign of mortals.  It is for this reason that the Fallen are such an anathema to them, once beings of the Realms Above, these creatures are not just capable of love, they understood love on a level greater than any other force in the universe, love mortal cannot understand, or come close to understanding.  And they lost it. The great secret of the Fallen is that for all of their evil, their abuse, their cruelty, one driving force remains within their existence….shame.  The Fallen once touched something beautiful, wonderful, and fantastical, and now are reduced to nothing more than rotting parasites in hell.  Their goal, there overall paramount life goal, is to somehow forget what they once were, to forget the love and thus by extension the shame.  This is the defining key of the relationship difference between the Devils and their masters, is this capacity to understand individual love, and this has haunted Baalzebul, Fernia and Belial, and Matanbuchus after their fall. However, there is a single Fallen who shows no regrets for his actions, and is in fact perfectly content with his decisions, if not the out come.  Asmodeus, along among the Fallen, still feels that he was correct in rejecting the rules of the upper planes, and that only he can properly use the methods needed to win the Blood War and destroy the Demons once and for all.  It is this containment that made Asmodeus confident enough to do something which no other being would consider….to create an heir.  The produce of a Fallen and a Devil, mixed with the Overlord’s essence, the result was Glasya, a creature who had never been seen before, a Devil who is capable of love itself.  Actual true love.  This was intended by Asmodeus to be a familial  love (Shut up Belial not in that sense) between he and her liege, and of course it turned into something else, something far more sinister.  Glasya was able to love her father, and she does (not in that sense Belial, shut the fuck up), but she is also capable of love on an individual sense.  Form her infatuation with the Darkwing, to her adoration of her mother, to that one time when that pretty Paladin girl looked so defiant at her and she hesitated…Glasya is more than just a divine being, she is in fact an entirely new species of creature, both Devil and Fallen, almost a Devil with Free Will. In fact, Asmodeus finally managed to do what Lucifer had tried all those millions of years ago.  She is the spiritual successor to [NAME], something which the lord of the 9 takes immense pride in.  Of course, he has no idea what his new creation is going to do, but fuck it, lets play around.  Glasya herself doesn’t of course realize her own significance in the role of the world, or that she might in fact be the most important entity in the history of the universe, but what is certain is that there is another being who occupies her thoughts, though not in the sense of love.

Devils understand fear, and fear many things.  They fear pain or harm coming to them, they fear their plans falling apart, Asmodeus himself fears the complexity of the world, they fear death, they fear loss of status or property, and they of course fear change.  However, this is isn’t capable of true fear, for their fear is the selfish kind.  Even the Fallen are so far lost in their own depravity that they have long ago lost the capacity for true selfless fear, unless it be the fear of Law losing to chaos, or the fear for an institution falling.  But none of them can fear for the loss of a loved one, or another being hurt, none of them can imagine feeling fear for another unless it was beneficial for them.  Glasya can, and she knows that there is another like her, another who has the capacity to change the world by their very existence.  She does not know about [NAME] but another that she has dreamed about, whose essence she feels as it it is, like her, tied to the laws of causality.  The Nameless One, the False Chosen One, the Anti Christ, the Breaker of Fate, has been entering her mind a great deal recently and she fears what he might do if his memories were ever restored.  Not just to herself, but for some reasons she fears what might happen to her father if he would ever confront a restored nameless one…and she doesn’t understand why.