TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird

Differences between popular fanon and IDW G1 canon:

Popular fanon: Optimus was a devoted spiritual leader.

IDW G1 canon: Optimus was an atheist.

Popular fanon: Rodimus was a young yet capable leader.

IDW G1 canon: Rodimus was a man-child.

Popular fanon: Arcee was a people-person with gentle spark.

IDW G1 canon: Arcee was socially awkward and undefeatable warrior.

Popular fanon: Bluestreak was a sweet woobie who needed a hug.

IDW G1 canon: Bluestreak was a traitor.

Popular fanon: You can trust Prowl.

IDW G1 canon: You cannot trust Prowl.

Popular fanon: Jazz was a charming social butterfly that could woo anyone, no matter what species they were.

IDW G1 canon: Have you seen how awkward Jazz was trying to reach out to that girl?

Popular fanon: Ultra Magnus was Optimus’s brother.

IDW G1 canon: Ultra Magnus was a legacy.

Popular fanon: Elita-1 was a badass female leader.

IDW G1 canon: Elita was a badass female leader and evil.

Popular fanon: Ratchet was grumpy and caring.

IDW G1 canon: Ratchet was grumpy and caring.

TFP Headcanons

AUTOBOTS:
-Miko taught Arcee about makeup and spent several hours trying to put makeup on a robot.
-OP likes watching superhero movies in his free time.
-Raf shows Bee off to his classmates every time he comes to pick him up
-Ultra Magnus secretly goes around Jasper to observe police men
-Bulkhead and Wheeljack would try to be cowboys for Halloween but they can’t find big enough hats

DECEPTICONS:
-Soundwave likes to silently creep up on his fellow Decepticons
-Megatron also watches superhero movies, but just to see the cool villain’s evil plan
-Knockout and Breakdown often play horror games together (a favorite being PT) and KO always hides and pretends he isn’t scared
-Starscream has a fake Facebook account

  • Megatron: I care for all of my soldiers equally.
  • Megatron: Soundwave, Shockwave, and *looks at smudged handwriting on arm plates* Ice cream.

anonymous asked:

Can you do TFP PTA autobots please?

Optimus Prime has totally got this. He’s polite and good at steering the conversation to only focus on important issues. The teachers love when he comes to the meetings because he pays no mind to any petty BS; he’s here to get business done in a timely and professional manner, and he’s such a natural leader that most people automatically listen to him. Bring him to PTA meetings.

Ratchet is gonna fight someone. Get your freaking kids vaccinated, Helen! His main concerns have to do with crappy school nurses (does anyone else have problems with just… really bad nurses??) bullying, and cafeteria food. Also, shouldn’t the kids be able to go outside more often? Cooping them up for seven hours a day isn’t good for their health. He’s the reason PTA meetings go for so late.

Bulkhead wants to know why Miko gets so much detention. These teachers obviously have it out for her! His little girl would never do the thing! “Psst Miko, did you do the thing?” Anyway, how is she doing in her classes? 

Bumblebee brags about Raf the whole time. ::Yes, he skipped grades and won the science fair two years in a row- did you know he can hack into the decepticon database? He’s a very smart boy!:: It doesn’t matter no one can understand him, he’s just so proud of his child.

Arcee sits uncomfortably the whole time. She lets June handle the meeting and tries very hard not to kill someone. The whole way home she’s having a salt-fest with Nurse Darby.

Wheeljack is getting hit on by all of the single ladies. He hangs awkwardly by the snack table, stuffing his face because Bulkhead said to let him handle this. Then someone makes a comment about Miko being a delinquent and he McFreaking Loses It. “YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY GIRL?”

Ultra Magnus is concerned. These textbooks are horribly outdated and some even include misinformation. He has a whole long list of flaws in the public school system and he and Ratchet have put together a POWER POINT PRESENTATION. All the students in attendance get up and clap at the end of it.

Smokescreen jumps onto the table and sings “Another Brick In The Wall.”

So I saw a certain photoset of Genrations Arcee doing some heavy lifting, and I was skeptical as to it being done without external support. So I cracked out my Arcee, to see if she could do it

I started small, to see if she was even sturdy enough to hold any other bot. She was

Next size class up, and still no problems

A bot more than twice her size, and barely breaking a sweat

It took a while to find the right position, but she managed to god damn hold Ultra Magnus, who I can assure you is not a lightweight

But now I wanted to take it one step further than the original. I wanted to try for a combiner. Annoyingly all the smaller combiners were so awkwardly shaped and weighted she couldn’t even get a grip. However the biggest one, while way to big to hold by the middle, was a success

So yeah I now love this toy even more, and we’re getting married.