arcade claw machine

My perfect date

We go out for dinner, have a lovely time. Afterwards we head down to the local arcade. We pass a claw machine, you point out a stuffed lobster among all the toys in the machine and say “Oh I love that it’s so cute!”. I proceed to feed a $5 note into the machine, wink at you, and tell you I’m going to get you that lobster you like so much. After a few attempts, unfortunately I don’t have any luck picking up the lobster with the claw machine. You smil…e and tell me “that’s okay, lets go get ice cream” but as you walk away you realise I haven’t left. I’m still at the machine, this time I’m feeding in a $20 note. “Hey don’t be silly it’s just a dumb lobster” you say but I can barely hear you. The lobster stares me in the face, my undefeated opponent. You sit and wait, bored out your mind, as I undergo repeated attempts to retrieve the stuffed crustacean. Finally, after going through $20 worth of attempts, the lobster still remains in the machine, mocking me. “Okay let’s get out of here” you begin to say as I proceed to put several $50 notes in the machine, swearing under my breath. You let out a loud sigh and begin to walk away. You tell me you’re leaving me here if I don’t come soon but I stand there without saying a word as my eyes narrow on the prize.

It’s 40 years later, you’re married to someone else with 3 children who have all left home. Your husband died a few years ago from medical issues yet you’ve somehow coped with the grief fairly well. You’re watching TV when you hear a knock on the door. You open it. It’s me. In my hands, I hold a small stuffed lobster. We spend the night making wild, passionate love. The next morning, I’m gone. You never see me again. I took the lobster with me.

Oh man, I went to the laundromat because I had a shitton of laundry to do and we only have 1 washer in the building.

Also because they have arcade games, claw machines, temporary tattoo vending machines, massage chairs and free WiFi. And they’re open 24 hours.

The night shift guy just came on. He turned the TVs to Seinfeld, but is blaring Dave Chapelle standup through all the ceiling speakers.

I am going to take a date here some night.