Claudia Phantomhive headcanons

I know this is late but here it is @midnight-in-town! :)

- As the Queen’s Watchdog, Claudia is composed, ice-cold, efficient, and deadly. Her associates know her as the fiercely clever, terrifically independent swordswoman with an even sharper wit. The Undertaker knows that behind closed doors, this blue rose is actually quite affable, with a sterling sense of humor that has just the right amount of cheek and saucy wit.

- Despite her strength and self-sufficiency, Claudia is delicately feminine and always insists on looking immaculately put together. (“Don’t you know? There is power in beauty. It may not have the sharp edge of the sword or the sudden death of a bullet but you must not forget—beauty has toppled empires and started entire wars. It has destroyed, cultivated, maimed, and ruined kings, princes, and sovereigns alike. Those who overlook beauty as a superfluous trifle are the same ones who have lost their battles to me.”)

- The very first time she met the Undertaker, she made him laugh using just one line.

- Eventually, the Undertaker became so intrigued by this elusively charming young woman he purposely interfered in one of her cases, just so he could have a chance to talk with her honestly and without precedence. Needless to say, Claudia was not pleased. Or:

“Ah, I’ll admit, perhaps my actions were a bit hasty—“

“My not-so-dear Undertaker, you let a rogue assassin escape. The same rogue assassin who attempted to murder the prince of Wales, poison the duke of Marlborough, and burn down an entire marquessate.”

“Why, you do have to admire his ambition, don’t you?”

[cue fight scene and Undertaker falling head over heels in love]

- Claudia’s favorite scent is that of fresh violets—the kind that grow wild in the secret wood just outside Lancashire—with the morning dew still clinging onto their indigo petals.

- Her mother died of septicemia following the birth of Claudia’s younger brother. The boy only lived for six months before he too passed away—this time from scarlet fever. 

- Claudia wears a blue butterfly pin in her hair. The pin is made of tungsten, an incredibly hard and rare earth metal. If she’s ever in a tight situation, the pin can be used as a dagger to slice and dice her enemies, giving her enough time to escape.

- Even though Claudia was a woman, she was allowed to keep her family’s surname because of her connections to the queen and her duties as watchdog.

- Her “official” husband was a wealthy businessman who was part of the gentry but not the aristocracy. They had a polite working relationship though it was mainly a marriage of convenience—Claudia needed to marry for the sake of respectability and her husband, while rich, desired a title and a place in the House of Lords.

- Claudia and the Undertaker like to tell jokes in German just to see how long they can stretch out a pun before it becomes ridiculous.

- Claudia once visited the Undertaker on a particularly rainy day and fell ill. She spent the night with him wrapped up in blankets, drinking tea from glass beakers, while the Undertaker entertained her by telling wildly random stories and selective gossip he heard from the prostitutes in the streets. That was also the night Undertaker got those signature braids in his hair: while the Undertaker was lying next to her she just picked up a few strands of his hair and began braiding. The Undertaker never took them out.

- One Christmas Claudia gave the Undertaker a Grecian funeral urn as a joke but he thought it was the best present he’d ever received and promptly began storing his cookies in there.

- During Claudia’s tenure as watchdog the Aristocrats of Evil used to meet at the Phantomhive country manse once a week to exchange information and play poker. Just a group of the most notorious men and women in the entire world, sitting around a velvet card table while Tanaka dealt the cards and they played outrageously complex games of poker and blackjack. The air would be thick with cigar smoke, women’s perfume, and the scent of decades old bourbon.

- Claudia liked to collect hand painted teacups from all around the globe. Hence why Phantomhive Manor is chock full of porcelain tea sets and why Ciel never uses the same teacup twice.

- It was Tanaka who taught Claudia the art of the sword and, as she improved, their sparring sessions would invariably leave the training room, with servants just nonchalantly moving out of the way as Tanaka and Claudia dueled across the hallway, down the stairwell, and into the dining room.

- Claudia read Norse mythology to Vincent and Francis when they were children. (The illustrations in the book were watercolors done by the Undertaker.)

- The Undertaker’s favorite thing about Claudia are her hands—soft, delicately boned with slim, agile fingers and sharp, femme fatale nails. She wore no jewelry save for a simple diamond band on her ring finger. She, in turn, loved combing her fingers through the Undertaker’s hair.

- Claudia almost signed a marriage contract between Francis and Aleistor Chamber before meeting the viscount’s only son and heir and deciding that her daughter might actually kill the overly loquacious and flamboyant boy if she ever had to talk to him, never mind living with him.  

- Claudia once had to go undercover as a carriage salesman named Ted.

- Claudia and the Undertaker used to ice skate on the Thames when it froze over during the winter. This would always have to be at night when no one was there and the Undertaker would perform a series of ridiculous tricks while Claudia pelted him with snowballs.

- She is an avid amateur art historian with a special interest in landscapes and aquatic paintings.

- The Undertaker oversaw Claudia’s funeral. Her body is preserved in a marble mausoleum located underground, beneath the Phantomhive family plot. The scent of dried violets and orange blossoms permeate the dark, still air as the Undertaker makes it a priority to replace all the flowers in the mausoleum once every month.

A small ridge had formed in the darkest recesses of Regia, an oddity in the otherwise smooth aquatic landscape. Small, of course, in comparison to how an ocean normally looks, but of course abnormalities were to happen in Hive City, especially in it’s furthest edges. It appeared months ago, at the start of an event long since past. This coincidence is not important.

What was important was the sudden shaking of the ground, sand falling off the ridge as it sat up, disoriented from lack of activity and then a surge of energy.

Blinking the sleep sand from his eyes, the Nightmare Knight sat at the bottom of the sea floor, looking like a forgotten toy left to float down into the abyss. Had anything happened while he was gone, was his first thought. Ultimately, probably nothing, was his second. The city had its own cycle, and undoubtedly he could fit back in with little work on his own part.

Were those he was friends with still trapped with him? No need to worry myself first thing in the morning, or this late at night. Whichever worked.

Might as well walk home. Take in the sights. He needed to stretch after such an unexpected nap.