apushing

AP exams are 😱 finally 😱😰 here 🕐 u college board BITCHES 😷 and it’s gonna be AP 🔥 LIT 🔥‼️ remember 💭 to get a 👌 GOOD 😉😏 NIGHT’S 💤😪 SLEEP 😴 before the 📝 TEST 💀💀 DON’T spend all NIGHT 🌚 on ya COMPUTER 💻 for 😉😉 SCIENCE 🍌 ❌❌ and DON’T get 😏 PHYSICal 💦 with ya BIOLOGY 👉👌 or ur gonna 😰 lose 😭😭 all ur (gibb’s free) ENERGY 😵😵 AND CUM 💦😏 calcuLATE 🙊❌ to the 😷 exam 😷‼️‼️ HISTORY 🌎🌎 and statisDICKS 🔢 have 👀 shown 👀🔍 that u might be PSYCHed 🤔😨 OUT 😭 during the TEST 😫😱 and that u won’t be able to 🔍 deRIDE ✏️ the 😛 V (velocity) and the 🍆 D (dickstance) 💦💦💦 BUT DON’T ❌ go APES 🐵♻️ and 😵 lose ur 🍆 HEAD like ya boi Louis XVI 🇫🇷🙇💀 BECAUSE that WON’T 🙅 happen if u 🤔 reMEMBER 👅💦 ur 🍌 DICKtion 😋 and 📐 SINtax 😈😈, if u juDICKtial REVIEW 📜 ur notes like Marbury v. DADDYson 😫❤, and if u keep ur 👀 ION 🔬 the C(L)OCK ⌚️🕑‼️ but if u aren’t aFREUD 😨😜 to aPUSH 🇺🇸 urself 😘💪 to the limits 💃 u will get more than Wilson’s 4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ POINTS 🔥🔥💯 so GOOD LUCK stuDYING 🔫💀, SUCC 🍭some COCKulus 😫🙌, van GOGH 🏃 be a FReaQ 📝💦, and get urself not a one 😔 BUT A 🍆 FIVE 👅🙏💦

AP Gothic
  • You open the test booklet. The first page is formulas. The second page is formulas. They’re all formulas. You can’t find the questions. Everyone around you is diligently working. You flip through the booklet but all of it is formulas. They consume you.
  • “Close your booklet and stop working.” Pencils sound as they hit the desk. Time is called. Time doesn’t answer. Where is it? It is lost. You are all lost.
  • You are told to seal the multiple choice question booklet. The white labels don’t fit properly in the designated sections. None of this fits. You may never discuss these questions. They no longer exist. They never existed. Ryan tried to fight back. They drag him away. Ryan never existed either.
  • The test references AP students in it. Haha. The test is very funny. Laugh. College Board wants you to laugh. College Board just wants to be friends. College Board is very friendly. College Board beckons you closer. Closer. They are very funny. L A U G H
  • You may only use black or blue ink. Your pen breaks. The ink spills everywhere. Milky black liquid falls over everything you knew and loved. The College Board confiscates it. “How can we accurately assess your skills without gathering all your materials?” They smile. You never noticed they had so many teeth before. 
  • The proctor reads the instructions and you begin writing. The proctors circle you. They lean over your test and make disapproving noises. They are hunting. They pick out the weak. You will be next. 
how to pass your ap classes
  • ap euro: it's probably the catholic church's fault so you can blame them for everything
  • apush: just remember that the white men will fuck over everyone else, and even on occasion, other white men
  • ap english lit: tattoo the complete works of shakespeare on your person
  • ap spanish language: put everything in the subjunctive to show how much you doubt everything you do
  • ap physics i: make a blood sacrifice to sir isaac newton
  • ap physics ii: cry on a battery
  • ap calc ab: take the derivative, set it equal to zero, and pray
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she’s a handsome woman // panic! at the disco

SENDING GOOD VIBES TO ALL OF YOU TAKING AP EXAMS!!

⚗Chemistry ♻️Environmental Science 🛋Psychology 💻Computer Science 🇪🇸Spanish 🎨Art History ⚛️Physics 🖊English 🇯🇵Japanese ⚖️Government and Politics 🇨🇳Chinese 🇩🇪German 🇺🇸US History 🖌Studio Art 🔬Biology 🎼Music Theory 📐Calculus 🇫🇷French 🇮🇹Italian 💱Economics 🌎World History 📈Statistics 🙆Human Geography 🇪🇺European History 📜Latin

Hope you all get 5s! 💯💯💯