April, 2005. This is where I sit as of right now. I am completing my second semester at AMDA. It has been quite an experience. I can say that I have grown. It is good. Half way done, and I couldn’t be more excited and scared and hopeful about going to New York for my second year. It seems to become more and more apparent that my talent, my purpose, my being- really is becoming who I am, and I am becoming it.
Daniel is graduating next month with his B.S. in Chemistry. He got an offer from some amazing friends of ours. They said that they really want him to go to grad school, which is not what he was going to do. Daniel was offered to live in the newest part of their house (an amazing house) in El Paso, which is a room off to the side of the house with its own little bathroom and kitchen (basically like an apartment) for free. No rent. Well, Daniel thought about it and did in fact decide to do it. He will be in El Paso for a few more years getting his Masters and eventually his PHD. I am happy for him. I love the damn guy. So much. And wish that somehow there was a way for him to be with me in New York, or even here in LA. But I cannot stand in the way of his life, and his goals. He didn’t stand in the way of mine. So we will remain seperated. Its hard. But I let myself believe in the idea that if we are meant to be, it will wait for us, and we will be together. I just don’t know. I just cannot be with him if we are in seperate cities. I cannot do long-distance. It hurts me too much. And I don’t know if that means I am a weak person, or a bad boyfriend. But I am selfish right now in my life, because it is finally starting to make sense to me. I am Alex David Jimenez. Nothing, not even my baby Daniel, can stand in the way of my dream. And he undersatnds that. Thats what makes me love him.
Nothing stops me now. Until the day I die I will fight to make known the piece of myself that I have to share with the world. It’s not about the red carpet. It’s about the people around the red carpet. It’s not about the fame. It’s about the people who make fame even exist. It not about me. It about what I can do for them. This is for them. This is for you.