SNEAK PEEK #1 | Grey’s Anatomy 12x10 - “All I Want Is You”

Just wanted to whip out my Jackson pom poms really quick.

I get it. We all love Japril and want them to work it out. I believe 100% that they will, no doubt. But that doesn’t mean either character should just bend over backwards and accept whatever scraps are given to them. That’s not a ship I love. That’s not one I can support. I’ve always rooted for couples who were equal in love and respect for eachother. At this point in time.. Japril are not there. I can’t just have feels when a relationship is so glaringly lopsided.

Jackson’s wife left him for over a year. Going by what the show has told us and shown us, not only did she check out physically but emotionally as well. She didn’t even ask him for a full year how he was. She came back seemingly not caring one way or the other and couldn’t wait to leave him again. And this is after he told her he needed her to stay. He needed her. She didn’t need him.

How is this man supposed to feel about that? How does he reconcile this? How would any spouse???

She’s given him 100 reasons why she needed to leave him. Excitement. Happiness. Techniques. Calling. Space. None of which are forgivable reasons for your spouse to abandon you for so long.

She hasn’t offered him a sincere apology or a legitimate reason to why she left him. He has nothing to forgive at this point. In Jackson’s eyes April woke up one day and decided she no longer needed him/wanted him and was perfectly okay with being away from him for OVER A YEAR.

What’s to say she won’t get another calling or wild hair down the line and leave him again? He has no way of knowing this when he doesn’t know her TRUE REASONS.

I think we’re all aware that it’s Samuel related but the show has gone to significant length to make sure we see that Jackson doesn’t know that. She’s given him every reason but the true reason. The one he CAN forgive. He thinks she’s “changed” into this robotic selfish woman who can take or leave him. He’s disposable. Only wants him when she decides. And only her feelings matter. He should play husband when SHE says. Leave her alone when SHE says. When she says jump he should say how high??

That’s not a marriage.

I fully and firmly believe April’s sob story is coming down the pike. Sarah Drew mentioned Samuel three times on Twitter last night. Very telling. Also the one piece of relationship advice she’s give April is to stop running. Hmm.

I also believe when Jackson finally gets the truth and apology he so very much deserves, he WILL forgive her.

It’s all coming and it’s coming soon. It’s going to be glorious and amazing and much earned pay off.

But come on people. Jackson is NOT the bad guy here. April made a huge mistake, biggest mistake of her life, and she had reasons for it that he doesn’t know them yet. Personally I’d lose major respect for him if he just rolled over and accepted the treatment he’s been given by her. April needs to fully understand the magnitude of her actions. How much she hurt this man who would walk through fire for her. KNOW she can’t run away anymore and be truly remorseful for her actions.

Then Jackson can forgive her. Then he can trust her. Then he can have faith in them.

As of now she’s given him nothing but a bunch of lousy excuses that would chap anyone’s ass and certainly not entice forgiveness.

Before anyone starts (continues) bashing Jackson consider this.

The man was left alone for over a year. Forced into celibacy. Had no one to confide in and lean on since coincidently his wife is also his best friend. He was made to feel like he didn’t matter. Wasn’t needed. Wasn’t loved. And guess what? He remained FAITHFUL to her. Even after she betrayed him by leaving again he kept his ring on. He kept it in his pants. He didn’t go forming emotional bonds with other women.

Jackson, even NOW, has been an AMAZING husband. He DESERVES the right to be upset. To feel betrayed. To feel abandoned. To end things if he so chooses.

And no one should expect him to settle for less than a huge massive emotional truthful apology from her. One he has NOT received yet. Once he does.. he will forgive her because he loves her so much and he will finally have something he can understand.

It’s coming guys. Two more episodes and we will all be in fangirl heaven.

Just my two cents


12x09 of Grey’s Anatomy. Yikes. RANT TIME.

First of all, Ellen fucking Pompeo. Holy shit. Her acting was incredible, she barely had any lines and it was one of her most powerful performances, in my opinion, it was on par with when she shouted at the doctor who gave her the papers for unplugging Derek in 11x21, and when she flipped at Amelia at the dinner party in 12x05

Meredith. Her strength is incredible. The fact that she met with Lou after the attack and forgave him shocked me, even though his injury/seisure prevented him from remembering what he did, I didn’t think she’d meet him so soon. Her strength is commendable, she’s been through so much in that hospital (bomb in a body cavity, drowning and almost dying, seeing Derek get shot and the shooting in general, almost bleeding out and dying after having Bailey in a super storm/blackout) and now this, I’m surprised she still has the strength to step foot in that place.

Alex. He stepped the fuck up this episode. He was where he needed to be, comforted her when she needed it, by the looks of it he’s been looking after Zola, Bailey and Ellis, or at least I hope he has, he took her home and he listened to her when she said to go and be with Jo (more on that in a minute). He was her person this episode and it was amazing to see him do that when she really needs him to, rather than doing it just because she lost Derek.

Jo. She was in the episode for all of 2 minutes, if that, but I’m gonna mention it anyway. Her look at the end of the episode showed a lot of surprise that Alex had shown up, which honestly I was expecting from her as Alex has been pretty absent ever since Cristina left, and even more so after Derek died. Now that Meredith has told him she is okay, I’m hoping they fix Jolex and make Alex pay more attention like he did before Cristina left.

Richard. Holy goddamn shit. His speech when he took Meredith to get some air was incredible, and honestly I think she’s needed to hear every single thing he said for a long time now. He stepped up and became the Father figure she needed. She is blaming Amelia for not being Derek, she hates Derek for dying way too soon and she hates herself for hating Derek. She needed to be told to forgive, and to be honest, better late than never.

Amelia. I’m surprised she slipped so far so quickly but at the same time it’s understandable considering her past. Seeing Meredith in the state that she was in clearly took its toll on her, especially after losing her big brother not too long ago. I’m proud of her for going to rehab so soon and I’m really hoping that Meredith saying she isn’t ready to forgive her yet doesn’t affect her recovery.

Japril. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE SERVED HER WITH DIVORCE PAPERS. I am deeply upset about that, I mean, I know April technically abandoned him after Samuel died but she had to give birth to a child who would die almost immediately after childbirth. I know Jackson lost his child too and he didn’t have time to process and grieve his loss, and her leaving limited his ability to do that even more. She was selfish but I don’t see why they can’t fix it. He hasn’t given her enough time to make up for it or to fix it and that’s where my problem lies with them.

Calzona. They weren’t in it much at all on their own, let alone together. I am sick of this shit now, Shonda. GODDAMN FIX CALZONA.

Cristina. Her best friend/her person was brutally attacked and almost died and she wasn’t on the first plane back to Seattle from Zurich. To me that seems unreasonable, and wouldn’t have killed them to at least try to make that happen.

RANT OVER. ((sorry))

Where do they go from here?

I think that April will give Jackson the signed divorce papers in 12x10. He repeated multiple times that the choices were all hers in their marriage. In this scenario the ultimate decision will finally belong to him. Stay or walk away!!

I will be happy about everything we will get from their past in 12x11, but what I really need is answers, an honest conversation (not fight) about

  • their feelings after Samuel died,
  • a heartfelt apology from April and
  • the real motivations, behind April’s actions, to leave Jackson behind - twice.

If this really means goodbye for their marriage, their relationship/friendship will continue, because, for me, their souls will always be connected. 

No matter if they stay together or not, I want them to introduce Jackson’s father, or at least to address that issue and show us more how the “army” shaped April (professionally and personally). I hope that they will not go for the “estranged/divorced couple going through an unexpected pregnancy” story-line.

As long as they do not start dating other people, I will continue to watch how their stories unfold. If they show us positive character developments, that will help them to find their way back to each other and not drifting them further apart, I will hang in there for season 12.

I still hope for the best, an epic final twist like in 10x12, but will prepare myself for the worst.What are your thoughts?

Grey’s 12x09 review/recap

I don’t want to be the annoying fan who should just stop watching the show, but these are some stuff I’m a little mad about.

Yet another time jump. 6 weeks gone.

We start the episode with a trauma coming to the hospital as usual, and it’s clear that: Amelia is still out of the house and later we see she’s unfocused, probably hungover. Jo refused Alex’s proposal and now he’s crashing at Mer’s, and Maggie is getting some with Andrew, and Owen still glares at Riggs mysteriously whenever he passes by. Basically nothing has changed.

It escalates quickly, and Meredith’s patient has a seizure and wakes up to attack her, and so now it’s all Amelia’s fault for choosing between two non critical traumas she was being paged for at the same time.

  Like if they weren’t in a fight there wouldn’t be a chance that she chooses to go to her “sister’s” patient later because “sisters” cut each other some slack

As expected, she becomes deaf from the attack, and she also can’t talk. We spend 6 weeks in Meredith’s bubble of recovery, missing a lot of important story lines such as: 

when Amelia is getting sober and who is she talking to; Richard, Owen, Stephanie, ???? 

Any interactions between Jo and Alex, or has Alex again ignored everything and everyone in his life to do nothing but be with Mer, does he even have a job anymore and we just see Jo come in to cover Alex with a blanket lovingly and then because of Meredith Alex goes back to Jo and I’m assuming she’s like wtf

Omelia. So Mer is such an angel to put Jolex back together, but once again, when it comes to Amelia’s life, the hell with her, right? It’s so upsetting that it’s implied that they had 0 interactions in these 6 weeks.

Japril. Jackson serves April papers, everyone assuming they’re divorce papers, but we still have no idea what happened in these 6 weeks.

Nathan Riggs. Still a mystery, which I’m not as upset about if it were a normal episode, but 6 weeks and no one knows anything?? or they do?? What about Amelia and Riggs, anything happening there?? No one knows.

Do Callie and Arizona even have a story line? Individually even? No? Ok then.

The one thing we learnt is that Penny is actually great. And Meredith is forgiving with literally everyone except Amelia. And everyone should listen to Richard.

Maybe I will just stop watching and leave it all to binge watch in the summer. When I was binge watching when I first started grey’s, I wasn’t bitter or angry about any of the things that were happening on the show, I just went with it and clicked on the next episode. Maybe I should just do that to stop distracting myself and watch as things resolve themselves instead of waiting restlessly for them to.

About last night....

It’s crazy what information you can gather from so little screen time with Jackson and April….

I managed to do it though, and here’s what I saw that intrigued me….

1. There was a wedding ring on April’s finger at the beginning of the episode….Which means, during the time that elapsed between Jackson’s and April’s fight and now, we can deduce that Jackson definitely didn’t want a divorce(yet!)
2. The mention of counseling during their newest argument, leads me to believe they did indeed give counseling a go…
3. It wasn’t successful, however, because Jackson served April (unbeknownst) to her divorce papers…. (How rude!)
4. Makes me, and many others wonder…Why the sudden decision to serve papers?! Something must have set Jackson off! Was he possibly feeling the counseling was one-sided, did he feel too vulnerable?! Did April say something to cause him to make this abrupt decision?!? His comment about “All we ever do is talk!!” makes me think they were talking in counseling, but in his mind, nothing was getting resolved….

Hopefully, we will get some answers to this next episode….(Fingers crossed!)

Now on to my predictions going forward…

In preparing myself for the divorce proceedings in 12x11, here’s what I think might happen…

1. I’ve mentioned this before in another post, but I believe something will happen either during or before these proceedings to have April and Jackson experience these flashbacks…
2. In experiencing these flashbacks, I believe Jackson, in particular, will have second thoughts about the divorce since he was the one who made the ultimate decision…
3. During these flashbacks, especially their wedding, I believe both Jackson and April will realize they are still worth fighting for…
4. I am SO hopeful that Mama Avery has a say in this!!!
5. Like the “Get Up, Stand Up” episode, I hope our babies get another epic moment, like this one!!! I don’t care if it’s a NDE, but DANGIT it better be EPIC!!!!
6. And lastly, I’m feeling calm (slightly), mainly because divorce would be too easy and something that has already been done! And c'mon, the episode is titled, “Unbreak My Heart!” In learning from past episodes, “Get Up, Stand Up!” and this current episode, “The Sound of Silence” Shonda and her team don’t take the job of titling these episodes lightly… ❤️❤️❤️

It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!It’s going to be ok! It’s going to be fine!!!


I’m going to go from this:

To this: