april is probably the most like me of all the parks characters

Okay, so because I have way too much time on my hand, I decided to compile a list of non-sexualized female video game protagonists, from oldest to newest, as a sort of follow up to that post I made that exploded in popularity.

Samus Aran (Metroid, 1986)

Princess Peach (first playable in Super Mario Bros. 2, 1988)

Rosella (King’s Quest IV, 1988)

Laura Bow (debuted in The Colonel’s Bequest, 1989)

Emily Hartwood (Alone in the Dark, 1992)

Terra (Final Fantasy VI, 1994)

Valanice and Rosella (King’s Quest VII, 1994)

Jennifer Simpson (Clock Tower, 1995)

Jill Valentine (debuted in Resident Evil, 1996 and was in RE 3 in 1999)

Eva Brea (Parasite Eve, 1997)

Claire Redfield (debuted in Resident Evil 2, 1998. Also in Code Veronica, 2000, Revelations, 2012 and Revelations 2, 2015)

Coco (Crash Bandicoot 3, 1998)

April Ryan (The Longest Journey, 1999)

Maya Amano (Persona 2, 1999)

Alice Liddel (American McGee’s Alice, 2000)

Joanna Dark (Perfect Dark, 2000)

Miku Hinasaki (Fatal Frame, 2001)

Rebecca Chambers (Resident Evil Zero, 2002)

Alex Roivas (Eternal Darkness, 2002)

Heather Mason (Silent Hill 3, 2003)

Mio Amakura (Fatal Frame 2, 2003)

Madotsuki (Yume Nikki, 2004)

Rei Kurosawa (Fatal Frame 3, 2005)

Zoe Castillo (Dreamfall, 2006)

Amaterasu (Okami, 2006)

Chell (Portal, 2007)

Faith Conners (Mirror’s Edge, 2007)

Jeanne D'arc (Jeanne D'arc, 2007)

female Commander Shepard (Mass Effect, 2007)

Ruka Minazuki (Fatal Frame 4, 2008)

Any of the female Borderlands protagonist options (Borderlands, 2009)

The female protagonist from Persona 3 Portable (2009)

All six sisters from The Path (2009)

Lightning (debuted Final Fantasy XIII, 2009 and in Lightning Returns, 2013)

Yuuri Kozukata (Fatal Frame 5, 2014)

Aqua (Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, 2010 and A Fragmentary Passage, 2016)

Aveline de Grandpre (Assassin’s Creed Liberation, 2012)

Serah Farron (Final Fantasy XIII-2, 2013. People might disagree with me on this one, but I really don’t think her default outfit, aka the one that most people are going to be familiar with, is anything “bad” at all.)

Clementine (The Walking Dead Season 2, 2013)

Lara Croft (Tomb Raider reboot, 2013)

Fiona (Tales from the Borderlands, 2014)

Max Caulfield (Life is Strange, 2014)

female Jesse (Minecraft Story Mode, 2014)

Amanda Ripley (Alien Isolation, 2014)

Ellie (The Last of Us Left Behind, 2014 and The Last of Us Part 2, 2018? We don’t know for sure yet) 

Elizabeth (Bioshock Infinite Burial at Sea Episode 2, 2014)

Fetch (Infamous First Light, 2014)

Kinzie (Saints Row Gat out of Hell, 2015)

The female option from Splatoon (2015)

Lorraine (The Park, 2015)

Fran Bow (Fran Bow, 2015)

Michone (The Walking Dead Michone, 2016)

Emily Kaldwin (Dishonored 2, 2016)

As you can see, there’s a lot of characters here, with a good number of them ten years or older and some even 20+ years. That doesn’t even get to customizable “blank slate" characters from games like Fallout, Saints Row, or Elder Scrolls where you can make them as sexy or modest as you want. And of course, this is by no means a complete list; I like to think I know a lot about video games, but obviously I don’t know about literally every game in existence. Pretty sure I got all the dates right, but if I didn’t, feel free to correct.

You know what? Looking at this list makes me realize how little Tumblr talks about Resident Evil and Fatal Frame, two horror game series that have more than their fair share of non-sexualized female protagonists. In fact, a lot of horror games have them. And RE is a very well known and influential series, so you can’t exactly pull the "it’s just a cult classic” excuse on that one, as well as for Silent Hill 3. It just seems like whenever Tumblr talks about female characters in horror games, they always make it seem like they’re always Ashley-esque damsels, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. What’s up with that?

Anyways, I could also go on and on about awesome non-sexualized non-protagonist female characters like The Boss, Brigid Tenenbaum, Elanor Lamb, almost all the gals from Overwatch, Chun-Li, Rosalind Lutece, Liara T'soni, Yuna (yes, I know she’s sexualized in X-2, but I still love her to death even though I prefer her X characterization as I related to her more in that one), Celes, Zelda, Billie Lurk, and much more, but I’d probably be here forever if I did that. @danguy96, @unhappy-opinions, @takashi0, @vikinglumberjack, I hope I’m not being a bother, but I don’t suppose you could spread this around since you’re all mutual that spread my original post as well.

In Lynch Mode

Have you been re-watching the original episodes of “Twin Peaks” that aired on abc from 1990-1991 in anticipation for its return to Showtime on May 21, 2017?

I haven’t and probably should, but I did just watch a show so “Twin Peaks” inspired that at times I swore the credits would reveal David Lynch’s involvement.

Although bizarre visionary David Lynch had nothing to do with F/X’s “Legion,” the show was in the fully capable hands of writer/director/producer Noah Hawley. Hawley has already brought even more critical acclaim to F/X thanks to his outstanding interpretation of “Fargo,” which is about to return for a third season on April 19. With “Legion,” Hawley stunned audiences yet again, making his success rate two for two on F/X.

Previously, Hawley had quick cancellations with his abc shows “The Unusual” (2009) and “My Generation” (2010) so obviously his work fares far better on cable than broadcast television. Just as he based his version of “Fargo” from someone else’s work (the Coen brothers’ 1996 film of the same name), “Legion” is derived from a Marvel Comics character.

I’ve been burnt-out on comic book adaptations for quite some time now and only checked out “Legion” due to Hawley’s involvement. I do love the Christopher Nolan Batman films, the first “Iron Man,” and found “Deadpool” hilariously entertaining, but the way Hollywood constantly churns out formulaic comic book adaptations (I have not seen “Logan” so am not including it in my sentiment) has left me completely jaded by the genre.

However, as expected, Hawley totally reinvented the tired practice.

“Legion” is unlike anything you’ve ever seen on television unless you have seen “Twin Peaks.” Nonetheless, it’s still unlike any comic book show/movie you’ve seen because the whole superhero aspect takes a backseat to a gripping mystery.

The series, which premiered February 8, 2017 and just wrapped its first 8-episode season on March 29, is what you would categorize as a mindfudge and that is the clean way to describe it. Like “Memento,” “Donnie Darko,” and “Inception,” you aren’t 100% sure what is going on in “Legion” and what you think you know could change at any second. For example, I still can’t definitively tell you what time period “Legion” is set. While most of the environments and fashion scream the 70s, the weaponry and technology makes me assume its present-day or even the future.

It takes commitment to watch a puzzling show that can pull the rug out from under you without warning. While watching “Legion,” I would ask myself and text others “what the heck is going on?” despite the fact I was still enjoying what was unfolding. I would read episode recaps to make sure I wasn’t missing anything and hoped that by the finale everything would be explained.

Clearly “Legion” knew they were throwing a tremendous amount of information at fans because in the penultimate episode the show uniquely went out of its way to spell everything out. The method was as engaging as it was informative and to go into too much detail would spoil its brilliance. However, depending on how closely you were paying attention, it was possible to piece the show together even before the disclosure.

Wow, I am reaching word count and I haven’t even explained the plot of “Legion.” That actually says a lot about the show – its ambiguous nature is what makes “Legion” so rewarding.

“Legion” revolves around David Haller (marvelously played by Dan Stevens), a young adult that has battled living with schizophrenia ever since he was diagnosed at a young age. While residing in a psychiatric hospital, his world is turned upside down when he meets the beautiful Sydney “Syd” Barrett (Rachel Keller of Hawley’s “Fargo”). Hawley purposely chose her name as a reference to Pink Floyd’s Syd Barrett who suffered from mental illness. The series includes even more Floyd thanks to a mind-altering scene that utilizes the band’s “Speak to Me” and “Breathe” so profoundly it caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. Hawley also splendidly injected T. Rex in a pivotal moment.

Meeting Syd sends Haller down a rabbit hole that reveals he may not suffer from a mental illness at all, but might actually be one of the strongest mutants in existence. A government agency that views mutants as a threat wants to control Haller, while a mutant-friendly group, led by Melanie Bird (Jean Smart, also of Hawley’s “Fargo”), wishes to protect him.

Aside from the perplexing plot, intoxicating cinematography, and dark humor, “Legion” boasts remarkable performances. Dan Stevens, who is most famous for playing Matthew in “Downton Abbey” but first popped up on my radar in the awesome film “The Guest,” is destined to receive nominations for his strenuous performance. I also think Aubrey Plaza, known for her quirky comedic character in “Parks & Rec,” is a shoo-in for an Emmy for her diabolical role. And, wait until you see what “Flight of the Conchords” star Jemaine Clement does with his charismatic character.

Season 1 of “Legion” was an education for both the characters and the audience and now that we’re all on the same page Season 2 (coming in 2018) is going to be one wild ride.

Valentine’s Day at Funky MBTI: Favorite Romances

MYSTERYLOVER123:

I have a lot of favorite fictional romances and ships (both canon and non-canon), but we’d be here all day if I tried talking about them all. So I decided to instead look at the combinations of types that showed up most frequently in my list of OTPs/Romances, and check out the results:

Here’s the top 5:

1. INTP & ENFP

Maybe it’s because I’m an INTP and always get along swimmingly with the ENFPs I know. Whatever the reason, I like this particular pairing a lot. I have a large number of ships and canon romances with this pairing I just adore. Probably the best known of this combination is Romeo and Juliet themselves (ENFP boy, INTP girl), but among my other OTPs of this type are Andy and April on Parks and Recreation (I nicknamed them ‘Ludwyer’; don’t know why this portmanteau hasn’t caught on) and Spider-Man/Mary Jane Watson (Comics version, movie and animated versions are other types). 

2. ISFJ/ESTP

Another sort of “opposites attract” pairing. I don’t know anyone of this combo IRL, but fictional pairs of this sort are just wonderful to me. Superman and Lois Lane (Smallville versions are definitely this pairing, others may vary) are probably the best known pairing of these types, archetypal in many ways. And then there’s the OTP I used for the picture, Korra & Asami Sato from The Legend of Korra, who are kind of archetypal for this sort of relationship: Start off assuming things about the other, and discover the hidden depths in each other as time goes on.

3. INFJ/ENTJ

On going through my various OTPs, I sorted by functions as well as types, and out of all of them, the combo of Fe/Ti/Ni/Se (in any one of its four types) and Te/Fi/Ni/Se (also, any one) is the combination of functions I ship the most. Anyway, INFJ & ENTJ: A pairing that spins beautiful dreams from the fabric of imagination into a startling reality. Partners in crime. The types of my ultimate OTP, Daphne Moon & Niles Crane from Frasier (pictured above). Talk about true NJs (the cautious and patient kind, anyway); it takes them seven years to even get around to admitting they like each other! But boy are they charming, every single time. 

4. ISTP/ESFP

I like shipping various combinations of the four Artisan types (SP). They all use Se strongly, which can often=wild decisions and impulsive actions. I’m kind of including all of the various SP character pairings I love in the back of my mind here (The Princess Bride’s ISTP/ISFP, Harry and Ginny ESTP/ISFP) but ISTP/ESFP was the one with the highest number. The pairing pictured above is from the James Bond movie On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, featuring my favorite Bond Girl Tracy diVicenzo (ESFP) and Bond himself (ISTP). This pairing has a sharp appeal for me, similar to the iNTP/ENFP pairing above - Ti dom matched with the type that’s dominant in their auxiliary function. But let’s not get too technical. Let me instead sigh over that film’s deeply tragic ending (we have all the time in the world…)

5. ISFJ/ESTJ

Similar in functions to my #1, but instead pairing two Guardian types. I think of this one as the business partners romance. People who get to know each other in a day-to-day setting, and slowly come to appreciate each other. My favorite pairing in this one is Cangel (Cordelia Chase/Angel), from the Buffy-verse (though mostly on the spinoff, Angel). I guess I’ve mostly featured my more tragic OTPs here; I don’t usually go as much for the tragic love story, I prefer the one with the happy ending, but that’s just the ones I ended up featuring. Again, another sigh, and a muttered “Curse you Joss Whedon and your ability to write brilliant romances and then rip our collective hearts out by ending them tragically!”

OTHER FAVORITE ROMANCES:

Pride and Prejudice

INTJ + ENFP

When Harry Met Sally

ENTJ + INFP

Tell me your top combinations :)

Review of 13x19 “What’s Inside?”

When I first watched the episode, my initial reaction was that it was so awful I didn’t need to write a review. But then I thought that maybe the fact that it was so awful was something I needed to write about. There is a lot to be said about the choices the show isn’t making, so this review really focuses on that.  

I get the opening scene completely. As I said in my 13x18 review, this episode is about Maggie accepting her mother’s death, so opening with her visiting her mother’s grave makes sense. Now I don’t think this story should have been the one driving the episode, but here we are anyway. As much as I expected a scene with Maggie at her mom’s grave, I was distracted during most of it. I had to watch it twice just to tell you what Mer and Amelia were saying to each other. And the thing that distracted me has been distracting me for a while – Mer’s clothes. For the most part, I think the wardrobe department is fantastic, especially with the women. Each woman has a specific style to their clothing outside of the hospital that reflects their personality well. Even in this scene, Amelia’s leather jacket is a great call back to her edgier Private Practice days. It was a great clothing choice. But it makes the poor clothing choice for Mer even more obvious. Mer’s style is slowing becoming, “Well it looks clean, so I guess I’ll wear it.” And that would maybe be understandable if she was sporting the tired mom look, but since her kids have been in the basement since season eleven, it’s strange. And on top of that this is the second episode of the last three where someone has called Mer hot, so they clearly want to send a message about her appearance to the audience. It’s all very strange.

Eliza, Arizona, and Riggs – For a character that was the catalyst for one of the only story lines the show chose to focus on this season, Minnick has been curiously absent from our screens. I have to think the show got the hint that the fans were not going to be told who to like and decided to pull back a bit. The audience screaming “No!” at Paleyfest when Arizona and Eliza were mentioned had to have grabbed their attention at least a little. Arizona says to Riggs, “It’s just that people are so full of opinions about Eliza…” and I don’t think that was completely about the characters.  It feels like Arizona is justifying to the audience why it’s okay for her to be with Eliza. “I’m recently divorced.” (Recent? Define recent because people have had babies and completed cancer trials since your “recent” divorce. Is this another Grey’s timeline black hole?)

Owen and Amelia – Oh look, Owen’s Army friends are happily married and expecting a baby. Good. We haven’t dangled Owen’s dreams in his face in a couple of minutes. Let’s do that again.

April, Steph, Cross – I am so happy to see April back. April/Sarah really does bring a much needed light to the show. It’s not the same without her. I get that this story was supposed to bring the comedy to balance the seriousness of Maggie’s surgery, but it ended up stealing the show. These three do comedy so well. Too bad we won’t see it more often.

Mer and Alex – I just can’t. I need Alex to do something other than prop up Meredith. Even if they want to ignore Jolex, give him anything else to do but that. Please. And this Mer and Riggs will they/won’t they go on a date is not suspenseful. You had sex with him in your car in the parking lot at work, Mer. I think you can eat a meal with him. The audience isn’t feeling a build-up. If anything, we are losing interest and hoping Riggs runs in the other direction.

Bailey and Webber – I almost forgot they were in the episode. When Shonda said this season would focus on the originals I expected great storylines for Bailey and Webber. Instead we got the equivalent of them fighting over Bailey choosing a new friend to do her school project with. They deserved better, but that could be said for most of the characters, so I will just be happy with the fact that it seems the Minnick/Webber storyline may be over.

Cross, Steph, Deluca – Jo Adler (Cross) is such an untapped talent. I get serious early George vibes from him and I love it. So we probably won’t see him again until next season.“I have Obamacare. I have a year left, and I…” You know an episode is bad when I say out loud, “I want to see more of Cross.”

Owen, Jackson, Amelia, Mer – I love that Jackson is always eating. I would stress eat if I worked there, too. As frustrating as it is that we have no Japril scenes, we do get an April mention from Jackson, which I think is significant. This happened in 13x05 as well when she had her first day back to work.  They had no scenes together, but he asked about her.  So, at least she’s on his mind? Sigh.  And Jackson telling Mer it’s not normal she operated through a miscarriage was a great moment.  Funny.  Especially since Owen is the one she operated on, and he is sitting right there.

Mer, Amelia, Maggie – I like Maggie. I do. I mean, I generally like everyone, so I don’t know if that means much. But I’m not invested enough in her character to want to watch three episodes in row basically focusing on her. The show really, really wants me to be, but it hasn’t happened yet. Audience connection to characters has to be organic. It can’t be forced, and it’s just not there with Maggie for me.

Maggie operates – And she is absolutely fine. Sigh. I mean I definitely didn’t want anything bad to happen to the baby or mother, but this story was anti-climactic and so many other stories are just sitting, waiting to be told.  If those stories are getting bumped for this one, at least make it amazing.

April, Steph, Deluca, and Cross – Sarah and Jerrika really have a great dynamic onscreen together. I mean Stephanie being Jackson’s rebound sort of cancelled any chance of friendship, but their scenes always catch my attention. I love anytime April is shown as a capable and in control surgeon, so her annoyance at Steph and Deluca was great. Again, these scenes were the best of the show for me.

Mer, Amelia, Maggie - The dance it out scene was inappropriate to me. Shonda puts scenes in like this or a few of them eating lunch together and then tweets, “Oh, it’s just like old Grey’s!” like that will make us forget this season has been a mess.  And dancing it out was a thing reserved for cheating boyfriends or bad days at work, not dead mothers.  Dead mothers deserve a scene where they act like adults who are capable of dealing with their emotions and have a conversation.  But, of course, we don’t get conversations.

Maggie and Jackson - So, I don’t see why people are freaking out.  I just don’t. I’ve tried.  I’ve watched and rewatched and squinted at my screen.  I see nothing.  I mean, yes, they have had more scenes together, but absolutely nothing in those scenes has hinted they would be romantic.  If anything, Jackson literally called her family.  I think what this really is about is the fact that we have had no resolution from Montana so it is easier to see this as a possible reason than to just admit that the continuity and writing have been way off this season.  I really think that since JTS was filmed in November, the show wasn’t sure where it was going in the line up (they have moved two centrics recently) and they just didn’t film anything that would be out of order for Japril.  And let’s be real.  The show knows what they have with Japril.  Just look at the publicity and money that was spent on JTS.  The other centrics have not gotten that kind of treatment.  Jesse and Sarah filmed on location for days with another crew.  That location had to be rented.  They had to pay the Grey’s crew and the other crew at the same time.  And the press?  I read at least ten articles about JTS from entertainment sites.  Jesse and Sarah were sent to the TCAs to promote it.  They did the SAG-AFTRA screening, which is a big deal for the Screen Actors Guild to do something like that.  Jesse was sent to New York to promote the episode on like five shows.  I can’t think of any other time the show has spent the time and money on a single episode like they did for this one.  They aren’t going to throw that away.  And those pics Debbie Allen posted hinting that their last scene of the season is a good one?  That was intentional.  They know that Japril is the biggest couple on the show right now.  If they were to trade that to test a relationship between step-siblings, the audience would run.  Sure there are about five people who would be fine with it (and I am deeply concerned for them…) but overall I think a large portion of their audience would be done.  And that is not to say the show hinges on Japril.  I’m not saying that.  I just think that would be the tipping point where Grey’s has obviously stopped caring about telling good stories and is only trying to be shocking.  As an audience we can only take so much of being ignored.  

Speaking of being ignored, my heart goes out to hardcore Jolex shippers. Their story, or lack of, has been one of the main reasons this season has been such a let down. 12x24 set the stage for a great Jolex story, and then nothing. And I get that Camilla is pregnant, and obviously her health and the baby’s health are more important, but they could say something.  Don’t just ignore the fans.  They set up this season to be a look into domestic violence and Jo’s past, and then we get nothing.  If it’s about her pregnancy, just say “Camilla is focusing on her private life right now, so we are pushing the DV story to next season.”  Or something!  It could be done without putting her business out there but still respecting the fans.  

I am an optimist, so I still have hope that the last four episodes will bring back the Grey’s we love.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading.  This was a long one.  

21 Things To Love About Parks and Recreation.

Let’s face it, this list could be infinite because this show is the best thing since sliced Calzone, but after approximately my 17th watch, I’ve managed to pick out some of my absolute favourite things about Parks and Recreation (spoilers ahoy).

#1. The Much Improved Changes From Season 1.

Similarly to Breaking Bad, I was not a great lover of the first season of Parks and Rec. It had some funny moments (Leslie falling into the pit is golden) but I see it more as an extended pilot rather than an actual series, with Season 2 coming back so, so much better.

Leslie is so much more likable when they change her annoying David Brent ridiculousness into sweet, hardworking hyperactive-ness. Andy’s switch from ‘Ann’s annoying boyfriend’ to Loveable idiot is great, and they finally use Retta properly because Donna is exceptional.

#2. Pawnee.

I wish it was real because it sounds amazing: The slogans (“It’s safe to be here now”), the murals (“a lively fisting”) the obesity, it just seems so weird and brilliant. Leslie even manages to get into a heated poo fight with some local youths.

#3. The Rude Venezuelans.

Sister City is pretty much the episode that made me fall in love with the show. The visiting Venezuela’s are so rude and awful and it’s wonderful.

#4. Ben being awkward and tragic.

There are so many moments that back this up, but his breakdown during Media Blitz is a particular highlight (‘WHO HASN’T HAD GAY THOUGHTS?!’). As is his depressive foray into the world of Claymation: Requiem for a Tuesday is approximately six seconds of comedic gold.

#5. Treat Yo Self!

I’m not the biggest Tom fan, but I always like him more when he’s with Donna because she’s brilliant. The Treat Yo Self episode is so good, and the acupuncture screnes are amazing.

#6. Ben and Leslie.

Ben and Leslie as a couple are just perfect. Their wedding is so lovely and funny and they had a brilliantly bumpy road getting there (The model UN fight is terrifying). I don’t get involved in Tumblr’s shipping obsession usually, but I wanted them to be together so badly.

#7. The Saperstein twins.

Mona Lisa and Jean Ralphio are, in his words, the wooo-ooooo-rrr-stttt. And the best. And it’s brilliant.

#8. Ann and Leslie’s friendship.

Ann and Leslie are one of the greatest couples in TV history. Way back when Mark Brander-quitz was a thing I was sure the storyline was going to be them feuding with each other over him, but brilliantly, that never happened. There was no wedge between them, with them both putting their love for each other over a bloke. They just support and love each other so much and that’s honestly really nice and refreshing to see. Ann leaving mid-season six (a mistake in my eyes because she’s the best) still makes me get a bit watery every time.

#9. April and Andy.

A definite case of opposites attract, but they really love each other and they really work. Her hatred or almost everything and his overwhelming optimism contrast brilliantly. Watching them get together is really cute.

#10. Ron Bleeping Swanson.

EVERYTHING about Ron is gold.  He’s probably the overall funniest character in my book, and he’s also secretly a real softy. I hated that he and Leslie fell out for two years (even though episodically it lasted but four episodes) but it’s worth it for the Ron and Leslie episode that features some brilliant Billy Joel moments. It’s possibly the finest example of Parks brilliantly sewing together comedy with genuinely lovely moments.  

#11. The Tammy’s.

The Tammy’s are a genius comedy creation, as both of Ron’s ex-wives are completely terrible in different ways.  You know that any episode featuring a Tammy is going to be brilliant, and when I realised Ron and Tammy 2 are married in real life it makes it even better.

#12. Flu season.

I love when the Parks crew play ill. “What are you doing?” “Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?”

#13. Also any time they play drunk.

The Snake Juice episode is possibly my favourite ever.

We’ve all been there, Ludgate.

#14. “Is she going to powder her vagina?”

Joan Callamezo is one steaming hot train wreck of a woman, and I adore her.

#15. Donna’s wedding.

Aside from the Bridesmaids dresses being so on point (totally stealing that when me and Frank Grillo tie the knot) the wedding itself is lovely and funny. “want me to shut that down?” “No, I like it. Let the little man dance.”

#16. Chris Trager.

Literally the greatest character Rob Lowe will ever play. Is there anything more brilliantly terrifying than his declaration: “in college, I was in a nude production of cats.” Majestic.

#17. *Does the classic Chris finger point* Ann Perkins.

Possibly the most underappreciated Parks and Rec character, she’s a lovely and kind human being and also her exceptionally beautiful face masks something brilliantly awkward and tragic. (“I salsa your face.” Anyone?). She also just gets it. “Jogging is the worst, Chris. I know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost?” Life. She just gets it.

#18. Jerry’s fart attack.

Which awakened my inner seven year old and I couldn’t stop giggling.

#19. The Calzone food poisoning.

Which not only leads to probably the best Parks and Rec physical comedy (Ben flailing around like a tragic salmon is majestic) but also the single greatest one liner from masculine, moustachioed Adonis Ron Swanson:  “I did not sleep for one second last night, and I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl.” This line fills my heart with joy.

#20. The best cameo in anything ever.

Bill Murray is in the final season! As a corpse! In an open casket! God my love of this show is infinite.

#21. The Finale.

Which Is so completely, utterly perfect. A good finale should always make you cry and feel sad and happy and satisfied, and this ticks every single box. It also revels in the relentless optimism and positivity that makes Parks and Recreation such an addictive pleasure to watch, perfectly merging funny and poignant, as THIS brilliant Buzzfeed post shows.

Now excuse me whilst I divulge in my seven thousandth binge watch, because this shiz is straight up deloyshush.  

anonymous asked:

Kate mckinnon is a terf you fucking transmisogynistic piece of shit. She's openly discussed not being attracted to penises (not like some women have penises or anything!) and completely leaves trans women out of her sex and dating pool. She needs to rot. You should change ur icon

Yes….I will change my icon of holtzmann (the character she plays in a movie) and then I’ll change my url, bc it includes “mulder” who’s played by david duchovny, a garbage monster. And then I’ll get rid of “sapphic” because the name of sappho’s supposed husband is actually a dick joke, which implies that genitals decide gender. And of course I’ll remove “captain america” from my interests in my about, bc of that time chris evans called natasha a whore. And the title of my blog is a reference to a biography of alexander of macedon, who was an absolute terrible person, so I’ll change that as well. I would return to my old url, “deadgreeks” but unfortunately the greeks were HUGE misogynists :/ which would make me sexist
Listen, dude, is what Kate said really, really shitty? Yeah, it really is. Should she know better? Yeah, she should’ve, she’s an lgbt woman in 2016. Is what she’s said and done any worse than what a thousand other have said and done? No, it really isn’t. The reason Kate is getting so much hate isn’t because of what she’s said–which I’m not arguing with you, is terrible–it’s because she’s a gay woman that sapphic women on this site adore. It’s the same situation as the Aubrey Plaza drama. Aubrey Plaza has always been beloved on tumblr because the played April on parks and rec, a character people love. The article the post circulating around is talking about came out in 2014. I never saw a word about it at the time or until she came out as bi, and in 2014 it’s not like I was in superwholock, where no one cares what anyone does, I was literally obsessively following several blogs who post problematic receipts of celebrities, and I never saw anyone talking about it. But when she came out as bi, that post exploded, specifically calling out sapphic women who love her now because she came out.
Ask yourself right now what makes Kate McKinnon any different at all from Florence Welch, Halsey, Robert Downey Junior, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Nick Offerman, Stephen Colbert, Lana Del Ray, or Caitlyn Jenner? All of whom are people who are beloved (in some cases, more critically or less divisively than others) on tumblr. What makes Aubrey Plaza different from Nick Offerman, Aziz Ansari, or Amy Pohler, her co-stars on the show that made her famous, all of whom have said really problematic stuff, who are popular in the same circles, and have said transmisogynistic shit? What makes Gillian Anderson different from her co-star, David Duchovny, who I would say without hesitation is way worse than her in terms of terrible shit they’ve said, and yet the only reason I know he’s done anything is because fans of the X-Files joke about how he’s a garbage can while still liking him. The only difference is that these women are hugely popular specifically among young sapphic women, who, because of this hellsite, believe that you can’t like someone critically, and appreciating a character someone plays is the same as fully 1000% endorsing everything they’ve ever said or done. What happened wasn’t that someone was upset a transmisogynist blew up in popularity, what happened in most cases of people who are calling her out is that someone saw someone blow up on tumblr and went searching for receipts.
No media or person is completely unproblematic. Tell me your favorite TV show and I can find something terrible involved in it, your favorite musician and I’m sure I can get receipts on some awful thing they said five years ago. You can like someone and still be critical of them. Or you can even like a character and hate their actor. You can like a show and remain critical of it. Your consumption will never be as Pure and Unproblematic as you want it to be; no matter what you like, someone involved in it is going to be problematic. You probably like a whole host of really terrible people and you don’t even know it. Does that make you a bad person? Nah. Does it mean you support every single thing they’ve ever said or done? Of course not. Because you can be critical of the things you like, and what you believe can remain separate from the movies you like to watch in your free time for entertainment as long as you can still say “yeah that was fucked up.”

Homecoming | Monday  Calum Imagine

Summary: It’s the week of homecoming at your high school, and Calum Hood - the star soccer player - is looking for someone to wear his jersey

Masterlist


It was the week of homecoming at your high school and everything was becoming crazy. Every day was a new dress up day and everyone in the school was expected to show off their school spirit, homecoming king and queen would be announced at the end of the week, and the senior girls were plotting and scheming about who would wear whose jersey on the night of the big game. You absolutely hated the ‘jersey mania’, where girls would begin asking the boy athletes if they could wear their jersey months in advance. At your school the soccer boys were the most in demand, namely Calum Hood who was the star player of the soccer team, and of course one of the most attractive boys in the school.

You couldn’t understand the fascination with Calum Hood, I mean sure he was good-looking. He had amazingly bronzed skin with dark hair to match, and a killer smile, but other than that he wasn’t anything special. He was just another jock who always had a pretty girl on his arm. Because of his affinity for beautiful girls, everyone had just assumed that Reina Corse, the prettiest girl in the school who was loved by everyone would be the one wearing Calum’s jersey, but rumor has it that when she asked for his jersey he turned her down and told her he had someone specific in mind, but the school had yet to find out who this special someone was.


When you walked into school on the Monday of homecoming week everyone was dressed up as their favorite character, which meant that girl’s wore extremely short Minnie Mouse dresses and the guys were in superhero outfits. 

You hadn’t gone to quite the level of dedication as other girls in your school, but your best friend Joslyn absolutely loved homecoming, and she wouldn’t let you skip dressing up for another year. So you decided to dress up as April from Parks and Rec which was essentially just normal clothes, while Joslyn dressed up as Deb from Napoleon Dynamite, side pony and all.

“Holy fuck Y/N, take a guess at who is wearing your outfit counterpart today!” Joslyn squealed when she got to your locker.

You just shrugged nonchalantly while continuing to switch your books for your first few classes.

Joslyn let out an exasperated sigh, “While I guess you’ll never know then.” She had always been quite the drama queen, and used it to her advantage with you to get her way.

She started to walk away, but before she could get too far you let out a laugh and called her back, “You are so overly dramatic, who is it then?”

“Calum, fucking, Hood.” Joslyn whisper-screamed.

You faked an extremely shocked look, “Oh my god, do you think this means we are getting married?!” Then you shook your head, and began the walk to your first class of the day.

Joslyn was one of Calum’s many fans, and would probably kiss the ground he walked on so you weren’t surprised when she responded with, “One could only hope.” 

You just bumped your shoulder into hers and stopped at the door of your first class, before saying, “You’re delusional. I’ll see you at lunch okay?”


You were sitting in history class feeling like the day was dragging on and on, as your teacher tortured you with a documentary about the immigration habits of Europeans in the 18th century, when finally someone must have heard all the calls for help you were sending from your brain because the next thing you knew the fire alarms were going off.

Everyone rushed out of the room, not because they were worried about the fire but because they all wanted to get out of there before they died of boredom. In the process you somehow ended up in the middle of a different class, but when you looked over you recognized Calum Hood who was indeed dressed up as Andy from Parks and Rec.  You had to admit his outfit was very impressive, he was on rollerskates while playing some of the songs by Mouse Rat, you would’ve thought he would be dressed up in a superhero costume to show off his muscles like the rest of his friends.

He was in the middle of a song when he did a circle on his rollerskates, and caught your eye, stopping his circle mid-spin, “So you’re the other Parks and Rec fanatic everyone has been telling me about all day!” He skated closer to you with a smirk on his face, “So this is going to sound extremely douchey of me, but I don’t exactly know your name.”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s okay, we’ve only been in the same classes for about six years now, I wouldn’t expect you to know me. We don’t really have much in common anyways since I’m not much of an athlete, but I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You said, suddenly becoming aware that people were watching you. It must have been because you were interacting with Calum.

“Well Y/N, we clearly have more in common than you think!” He said ignoring the obvious bite in your voice and motioned between our costumes, but he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going in the process, and when we made it outside for the fire drill he hit the grass and immediately started to flail. Before you could even think, you put your hands on his shoulders to stop him from falling but you underestimated the momentum Calum had had while skating, and he ended up falling on top of you in the process. 

You kept your eyes closed because you didn’t want to think about the mortifying situation you were currently in, but you could feel Calum’s muscles on top of you, and his arms on either side of your head that kept him from completely crushing you.

Eventually you opened your eyes and cleared your throat causing Calum to look up at you, “Uhh, are you planning on standing up any time soon Calum? Or have you fallen asleep?” You said in a sarcastic tone.

He scrambled to stand up, and then pulled you back up before laughing your biting comment off, “Sorry about that, I’m just not used to girls falling for me so quickly.” He dropped his eye in a cheesy wink.

“I’m sure it must be really hard for you to come by a girl that likes you, isn’t it.” you replied back to him, starting to walk away.

He quickly caught back up to you, “It’s hard to find someone that likes me for me, rather than just my athletic abilities.” You were shocked at how serious this conversation had just gotten. But then Calum’s face lit back up into a smile, “Of course my dashing good looks always help!” 

Then he began to play the song Sex Hair by Mouse Rat which caused you to giggle. You tried to hide your smile by covering your mouth with your hand, but it was too late Calum had already seen it, “I knew I could get you to smile eventually, and of course nobody can resist Mouse Rat - the greatest band to ever live!” He all but screamed the last part, and began to skate circles around some of your classmates chanting “Mouse Rat” and of course because he is Calum everyone quickly joined in.

Soon the chant died down, and one of your teachers gave you the all clear to head back inside. You were walking back inside, when you heard your name being shouted. You turned around to see Calum dodging people on his roller skates, how he was skating so well in the grass you had no idea apparently his athletic abilities were in more than just soccer.

When he finally caught up with you he smiled his best, full-teeth smile that sent something running through your body then asked, “So, since you’re April and I’m Andy I think it’s only fair if I get your number.”

You giggled, and leaned in to whisper something in his ear, “Not in a million years Calum.” Then you sent him your most dazzling smile, and walked away.

He was left there with his jaw hanging open, before he swore under his breath, with a new found determination to make you his.


A/N: I just thought of this idea, and I really like it! Let me know if you like it just as much, and want to read about what’s going to happen on Tuesday of Homecoming Week here!

Tuesday is up now!

2

DATES

There are some dates in Life is Strange that sometimes get my attention. Of course the first date you care about when starting the game is when Rachel Amber disappeared. April 22, 2013, as we understand it, close to six months before the game starts (October 7th).

While still close to the ABPD webpage screenshot, I’d like to mention that Melissa Lee Grayson sort of reminds me of the homeless woman behind Two Whales Diner. Could be wishful thinking too (since I’m too afraid of other alternatives) so don’t pay much attention to that.

Another that just doesn’t jump at you is Dana’s doctor appointment. Scheduled for October 2nd

By that time, Max is already at Blackwell and I think knows Dana. (Max arrived at Blackwell on September 2nd) Could this be another life that Max could have saved? Not really going to give it much thought until Dana’s circumstances come into play again.

The “Joke”

Not sure if a reference or if something really important for that one unknown character (for some reason I think it’s Alyssa) but the stolen tablet with cat pics appears multiple times and in different locations.

First we see it from the person that stole it

At the girl’s dorm we see it from the owner.

The date when the backpack with the tablet was stolen is September 16. And the other place I noticed yet another attempt at recovering the tablet is in Chaos Theory

As a cat lover myself I completely understand the urgency of the owner to get the tablet back, but I’ve seen youtubers laugh at it. But again not truly important right now, just something that keeps appearing.

October 11, 2013

No point in dragging this date out any further, it is probably the most important in the game. More than one thing happens this day, first this is when the winner of the Everyday Heroes contest leaves Arcadia Bay.

Why does that have a higher priority on my list? Because someone (Jefferson) pretty much wants Max to win, in other words, they want her out of Arcadia Bay that day.

Another event is the football game, Bigfoots vs Razor Backs.

I put the football game as the second event because I imagine that it will be packed. It was the scary part in The Faculty, having the whole town at the game when something terrible was going to happen. Instead of body snatchers it’s just going to get windy

And last (at least of the ones that I can recall) someone wants his money by then. Long ways from episode 5 and I feel it’s going to be tense all the way through.

Chloe’s Dates

Certain dates are directly linked to Chloe, with 2008 being the biggest one. Her cat Bongo gets killed by a car.

Then, her father dies in a car accident

And to top it all off, Max leaves her shortly after and doesn’t even e-mail the poor girl for FIVE YEARS… 

Not sure when Joyce married David, but seems like she started dating him that same year, she met him November 27, 2008.

Don’t have the date when she met Rachel but, besides the day of her disappearance, there are other dates connected to Chloe. For example the postcard you find in her room.

Time stamp says  August 24, 2011. Then there’s the flyer to that party they “wanted to go to” according to Max’s assumptions.

But by this time, she is already missing. If we look at the other flyer, this was the last Vortex party she went to. Almost a month before she disappeared.

I’m sure I’m missing a couple more dates related to Chloe, there are those tied to Parking Tickets, home bills and such, but these are the ones that may shed some light as to what happened to Rachel and why Chloe is the way she is.

10-10-13 End of the World

To recap, Chrysalis takes place October 7, then Out of Time is Oct 8, and the main events/timeline in Chaos Theory are in the morning of Oct 9, which is the deadline to submit the Everyday Heroes contest photo. Every episode ends at sundown, but in Chaos Theory we are in an alternate timeline at the end of the episode, so we have no idea what date is it.

The teaser for Dark Room shows Max at the End of the World party, so episode 4 might be a really long episode *crosses fingers*

Thanks for reading.

“Chris Pratt. AMA. I’m an open book. Come get some!!”  - Reddit

What is your favorite song to absolutely rock-out too? Favorite song to cry to?

To rock out to…. Pantera Vulger Display of Power To cry to… Pantera Vulger Display of Power

5 years ago you were living in your van on a beach in Hawaii, jobless, listening to Dre’s 2001 everyday. Do you ever miss anything about those days? Simpler times, being able to go anywhere you want without fear of paparazzi, etc.

That was such an amazing time in my life. There are elements I miss. Perhaps most of all, uncertainty.

Are there any roles you regret taking/ not taking?

No regrets. Ever. They all led me to here.

Could Johnny Karate beat Starlord in a fight?

Not alone. But with his band of child ninjas, it would be close.

Since you and Jennifer Lawrence have a pretty similar sense of humour, there must’ve been some pretty hilarious moments on set of Passengers. What is one of the funniest (or embarrassing) moments when filming the movie?

We were sitting in our chairs waiting for the next shot and a big set light bulb exploded nearby and she screamed. high pitched. very feminine. then she immediately looked over at me and said, “Jesus Chris! You scream like a woman! Did everyone just hear Chris?” and for the rest of the shoot i couldn’t convince anyone it wasn’t me. I just had to own it.

Does your son still think you’re a firefighter?

No. He knows i’m an actor. But he thinks it’s kind of stupid. haha! I suppose he’s right!!!

Hi Chris. Would you be willing to play my wife in a biopic I’m shooting for myself? You would have to wear a wig and have sex with me.

Yes.

Will you and your wife ever do a movie together where you’re both leading? I think you’re both talented and would make an exceptional screen-team!

Yes we will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loved parks and rec, actually know Aubrey Plaza from summer camp(she was good friends with one of my sister’s) Do you have a favorite moment of working with Aubrey?

I had the best time working with Aubrey. My favorite moments with her were when she would let her guard down, (it didn’t happen that often) and I got to see what a sweet and caring person she is. It’s not dissimilar to the April character.

Was it difficult to control the raptors on the set of JURASSIC WORLD? Did you have any prior training in order to not get hurt by them? It must have been pretty scary. Was it scary? I bet it was.

haha! Yes. It’s amazing i made it out alive. The sequel shoots in a fewmonths. I already have nervous diahrea, diarreah, diarreeah, how the fuck do you spell that? anyways. Yeah. I"m probably gonna die on the sequel.

How has your past as an overweight, comedic character played influenced your growth as an actor, especially now that you’re considered one of the sexiest Hollywood stars?

No. Vanity in comedy understanding the element of my job in where I am a prop. I was confident and in good shape when i first came to LA but nobody would cast me in any well written roles. People assumed based on my looks I was an asshole and a one trick pony. I only auditioned to play the douchebag characters. my audition material would be like “Bradley, 24, you hate him immediately”, int. locker room. Bradley looks to our hero, squints his eyes, runs his hands through his thick gelled and frosted tipped hair and says, “Fuck you pussy.” That would be my audition. “Fuck you pussy.” welcome to the OC bitch. They never let me improv or do comedy. It wasn’t until I built a shlubby exterior, which stood in stark contrast to my inner confidence that people gave me room to play. ,

You’re awesome man. Got any guilt or just general thoughts for taking this sweet lead role in Passengers considering Keanu Reeves had been trying to get the script made for like 6-7 years?

Keanu Reeves is awesome. John Wick is the shit. He’s been killing it for so long. And hes a great humanitarian.

To what extent would you consider Andy Dwyer to be based off yourself?

Andy Dwyer is the personification of my comedic schtick. I have been making people laugh with that clown for years and years. Way before I ever did Parks and Rec. He not all of me. But I AM all of him, if that makes any sense.

Good morning from another PNW native (Tigard, OR)! What was the most challenging aspect of working on Passengers? Also, what’s your favorite thing about the PNW? Have a good one! -Alyssa

Hello! Favorite thing about the PNW is the hard earned summers. Going to the river and floating down with some beers. I love when Mt. Rainier is out. I love the way everything and everyone slows down to feel the sun on their face when it first breaks in summer. Usually you’ve been through 100 days or more in a row of rain and mistiness.

Would you and Eminem ever do a song together?

He’s been after me for years to do a song. wait, no? he doesn’t know I exist? Oh. well…. probably not. simply because he wouldn’t do it. haha! But I’d buy his cologne if he had one.

What is the most useless skill you have?

Rubiks cube, although it’s not useless because i use it to help me run lines.

What would you be probably doing had you not become an actor?

If I hadn’t become an actor in the way I did. (being discovered by a director, plucked from obscurity, etc) I would have continued to pursue stand up comedy. probably would have tried to become an actor that way.

Hey Chris, big fan here! What do you miss most about working on Parks and Rec? What was the hardest part about working on Passengers?

I miss the cast and crew. I miss my friends. I miss the commute. I miss the fact it was a steady gig, all comedy, and took me 7 minutes to get to work. The hardest part of working on Passengers would be the schedule. There were only two of us primarily through the whole shoot and we worked incredibly long hours. I was homesick a lot of the time. It was a grind.

Anna Faris from Scary Movie(s) or Anna Faris from The House Bunny?

Wow. that’s a good question. like a kiss marry kill thing? Trick question. I’d marry and kiss them all. And I did!!!

Hey Chris, you’ve inspired me to lose weight because funny guys can be sexy shirtless too. So my question is: how has getting into shape changed your life? Also is having maintain your physique harder than losing the weight?

Funny guys can be sexy shirtless. But realness is more important. Exercising for health, overall physical and spiritual well being I highly recommend. Doing it to look good naked is cool, but hardly worth the sacrifice. Work on being funny before sexy. lots of women think funny is sexy anyway.

What can we expect in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?

Bigger and better in every way.

Why were you wearing this BYU shirt?

Haha! That was during Everwood which we shot in Utah. I don’t remember that shirt. I’m not BYU Alumni. I think that picture was taken at a fan signing event or something. That shirt must have been a gift or something. I honestly don’t remember.

What Marvel superhero would Jennifer Lawrence absolutely destroy in?

PUnisher!!!!!

Hey Chris! I’ve been a big fan of yours since Parks and Rec! Just a quick question, who did you have more fun acting as: Andy Dwyer or Peter Quill? Thanks for taking the time out to do this!

More fun? Andy Dwyer. We got to do whole scenes, over and over. It was more stage play. Lots of improv. Guardians of the Galaxy is so fun to watch, don’t get me wrong, but making it can be excruciatingly slow and painstaking. When you have so many elements working at once, you might spend all day shooting a piece of the movie that will last 10 seconds.

How is Jennifer Lawrence? What’s your best memory of working with your mates in your movies and tv shows? Top 5 movies and shows? You’re a very lovable actor and you’ve lost alot of weight! I’m trying to shave weight off too because of your change in GotG! Thank you!

Jen is awesome. She’s funny and cool. She’s refreshingly tough. She’s an amazing actor. It feels good to be around her. Best memory? So hard to say. I’ve been at this for 17 years. It’s a dream job. No question. There have been so many unforgettable moments. I love what I do for a living. Top 5? Also very difficult. Friday NIght Lights, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Game of Thrones and Dual Survival.

Hey Chris! Have you ever considered doing any old school slapstick? It would be fun to see you do a prat fall.

I think Andy Dwyer had a lot of that.

If you could have played any character from a film ever, who would you pick?

Jim Preston Passengers Opens December 21st!!

Thanks guys thats my time.

Olicity 100: Skype at 7

Note: Okay, guys. There’s been requests on and off for this over the past 5 weeks but since this is my 100th Olicity fanfiction; you do get something special. Now, a lot of you know my personal Oliver Queen, whom I write twitter RP with (as Olicity) and a few of you now have asked whether we are anything like Oliver and Felicity. Turns out, we freaking are. So this for you, is the Olicity AU you’ve been waiting for, and this for me, is how I met one of my best friends.

Originally posted by fponthedl

Oliver Queen comes into her life on an April afternoon with a chirp of her phone that tells her she’s got a reply to a tweet she posted a few minutes ago.

She replies, thinks nothing of it, and continues on with her lunch break.

Her phone chirps again.

And again.

And again.

And a week later, he’s a welcome distraction in her chaotic day.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi! Im Missy and i just recently moved in to the "exo planet" and I've been getting into Korean stuff but i don't know a lot about the boys and i would like to ask you something, if its okay with you? Whats the basic stuff i need to know or the most important things so im not an outcast and i can understand thing better 😅 Thanks!

Sure thing! I hope this actually explains things well, and doesn’t confuse you in the long run …


XIUMIN

Real Name: Kim Minseok
Birthday: March 20, 1990
Position: Lead Dancer, Lead Vocalist
Power: Frost
Subgroup: EXO-M
Brief Description: Xiumin, our dear Baozi, is the oldest member of EXO. This half-fifty hyung makes sure that all the little shitheads in EXO actually get things done and are productive members of society. I honestly adore his singing, and his dancing is amazing. Even though he’s short, he can pack a punch - damn, have you seen those abs?? Plus his amazing XiuGuns?? P.S. he is literally the most gentle, sweet creature alive, until you put him in the same room as Baekhyun. Then you’re looking for a fight. 

SUHO

Real Name: Kim Junmyeon
Birthday: May 22, 1991
Position: Leader, Lead Vocalist
Power: Water
Subgroup: EXO-K
Brief Description: Suho, the protective leader of EXO, is one of the sweetest things on this earth. He cares more than anything about EXO and EXO-L, and would do anything to protect them. Aside from that, he is the most awkward human being to ever walk the earth. I often find myself mumbling ‘Suho is me’ when watching this awkward grandpa be himself. However, it’s his charm. 

LAY

Real Name: Zhang Yixing
Birthday:  October 7, 1991
Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist
Power: Healing
Subgroup: EXO-M
Brief Description: Lay has become one of my top biases, right alongside. He is honestly the sweetest angel on both heaven and earth. He puts his whole life into the members of EXO and EXO-L, and probably cares more about everyone than even Suho does. He’s an amazing vocalist, and his dancing is just … oh lord. Not only that, but he’s super skilled in other musical talents, like writing music and playing instruments. He can’t even read sheet music! He does it all by ear. I honestly have a ton to say about this little unicorn, but I don’t wanna waste your time …

BAEKHYUN

Real Name: Byun Baekhyun
Birthday: May 6, 1992
Position: Main Vocalist
Power: Light
Subgroup: EXO-K
Brief Description: Baekhyun is one member of the trio known as the Beagle Line; made up of Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Chen, these are the three most hyper members who act like … well … beagles, hence the name. His voice is amazing, and he’s just so adorable! Plus his hands are absolutely beautiful. He also has the amazing talent to annoy the shit out of everyone - even Minseok beats the shit out of him, and that boy is an angel. 

CHEN

Real Name: Kim Jongdae
Birthday: September 21, 1992
Position: Main Vocalist
Power: Lightning
Subgroup: EXO-M
Brief Description: This little boy has somehow made it to one of my top biases. He has a knack for pranking the other members, but is amazingly good-natured. He cares a whole lot for the members, and is always making sure that they’re well taken care of. He also has immense respect for EXO-L, and treats them so kindly. His voice is absolutely beautiful, I swear. I can never get enough of it. 

CHANYEOL

Real Name: Park Chanyeol
Birthday: November 27, 1992
Position: Main Rapper, Vocalist
Power: Fire 
Subgroup: EXO-K  
Brief Description: Chanyeol, aka the Happy-Virus, is constantly smiling. It’s hard to find a picture of him not smiling from ear to ear. Despite his cute face, his voice is surprisingly deep, and his rapping even deeper. Recently, his amazing acting skills have been broadcasted to the world via SM’s web drama EXO Next Door, where he plays a character quite the opposite of him. He’s really improved a lot since debut, this gentle giant, and I hope he continues to. 

D.O

Real Name: Do Kyungsoo 
Birthday: January 12, 1993
Position: Main Vocalist
Power: Strength
Subgroup: EXO-K  
Brief Description: This squishy little baby is quite talented in going from absolutely adorable to absolutely terrifying in .03 seconds. Around most of the members, especially Baekhyun (see how I told you he annoys everyone?), he’s somewhat abusive, but around Kai he is very gentle and smiley. Also, he’s probably got one of my favorite voices in EXO - he sounds amazing no matter what language he’s singing in, whether it be Korean, Mandarin, Spanish, English, or whatever else he’s done. 

TAO 

Real Name: Huang Zitao
Birthday: May 2, 1993  
Position: Main Rapper, Vocalist
Power: Time 
Subgroup: EXO-M  
Brief Description: Little TaoTao is a little angel. I could go on a huge rant about how SM has treated him horribly, but it would be a waste of time because I’m sure that by now you know the circumstances. All I can do for now is relish in the fact that he’s taking a long-needed break in LA. Aside from this, he’s EXO’s own little fashionista, with one of the deepest voices - almost as deep as Chanyeol’s. His singing is wonderful, and his rap can melt your soul. Never doubt the ever-wonderful Huang Zitao.  

KAI

Real Name: Kim Jongin 
Birthday: January 14, 1994
Position: Main Dancer, Lead Rapper, Vocalist
Power: Teleportation 
Subgroup: EXO-K  
Brief Description: Dear NiNi has two personalities - Kai and Jonin. Kai is a sexy, talented player, while in reality, Jongin is a little puppy who is all smiles. He has 3 dogs - Jjang-ah, Mong-gu, and Jjang-gu, who he treats like his very own children. His dancing is beyond amazing - there’s a reason he’s the main dancer - and his voice is probably one of my favorites in EXO. Recently he’s been singing a lot more, which I’m extremely happy for. 

SEHUN

Real Name: Oh Sehun 
Birthday: April 12, 1994
Position: Lead Dancer, Rapper, Maknae
Power: Wind 
Subgroup: EXO-K  
Brief Description: This is my child, Oh Sehun. Sehunnie is a little shitface who needs to be punches, but at the same time he is an angel who needs to be wrapped in a blanket and snuggled. Recently, he’s broadcasted his acting talent on SM’s web drama EXO Next Door, and I couldn’t be any more proud of him. He likes bubble tea and finds joy in annoying his hyungs. This boy is the true devil.  


Seriously, all you need to know is that they’re all big dorks who are super talented. That’s literally all there is to EXO. 

anonymous asked:

what are your top 5 or 10 musicals? im curious

glad you asked!

let’s start off with the 60’s, which was the decade that birthed some of my favorite musicals.

Top Five Musicals for the 1960’s:
Oliver!- 1960
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
This past year I played an ensemble role in the musical Oliver and fell in love with the score and the characters. My favorite character would have to be Fagin or Bet and my favorite song is “Consider Yourself” or “I’d Do Anything”

Fiddler on the Roof- 1964
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
It was one of the first musicals I saw as a child and I fell in love with all of the characters and the dance numbers. Plus, it was my grandmother’s favorite musical because it was about Jews. I talked about it waaaay too much as a child. My favorite character would have to be Hodel (honestly dream role #8) and my favorite song is probably To Life

Funny Girl- 1964
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
It’s Funny Girl. Who doesn’t love Funny Girl? My favorite character is of course Fanny and my favorite song is I’m the Greatest Star

Man of La Mancha- 1964
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I discovered Man of La Mancha in the sixth grade when my Spanish class read Don Quixote. I fell in love with Sancho and my favorite song would have to be What Does he Want of Me or The Impossible Dream, (basic, I know)

Hair- 1967
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I fell in love with Hair at about eight years old when I heard the title song. I listened to the entire cast recording (I like the original best) and I didn’t even understand anything about it until I was like twelve. My favorite character would have to be Berger or someone like that, (you can’t really pick a favorite character) and my favorite song is probably Manchester, England or Hair

now onto the 70’s! another one of my favorite decades for musicals

Top Five Musicals for the 1970’s
Follies- 1971
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Believe it or not, this is a relatively new musical for me. I learned about it when we watched a video on it in my musical theatre class and fell in love with the entire soundtrack. My favorite recording is the Follies in Concert recording and my favorite song is by far The Story of Lucy and Jessie

Jesus Christ Superstar- 1971
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
As much as I detest Andrew Lloyd Webber, this one is a classic. I’ve loved it since I was little and I’ve only seen the movie about 600 times. I don’t really have a favorite character but my favorite song has to be Heaven on Their Minds.

A Little Night Music- 1973
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
This is another musical I haven’t known for long, but I fell in love with the soundtrack the moment I heard it. Personally, I sort of prefer the revival to the original, but whatever. My favorite character is Petra and my favorite song is A Weekend in the Country or The Miller’s Son

Rocky Horror (Picture) Show- 1973
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Dude, it’s Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s every little girl’s favorite musical. My favorite character would have to be Magenta (dream role #10) ad my favorite song is of course Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me

Chicago- 1975
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I fell in love with this musical when my show choir did a performance of All That Jazz and I nearly broke my leg on stage. I love everything about this musical. My favorite character is of course Velma and my favorite number has to be Cell Block Tango (sorry Roxie)

next, the 80’s. which ushered in a whole new kind of musical.

Top Five Musicals for the 1980’s:
Les Miserables- 1980
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I hate calling it my favorite musical, but it’s every little girl’s dream to be Inspector Javert. My favorite character is either Eponine or Gavroche and my favorite song is Master of the House.

Little Shop of Horrors- 1982
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
This has been my favorite musical for about five years now and it almost always makes the shortened down version of this list. If I ever got to be in a production of Little Shop I would actually scream. My favorite character is of course Seymour and my favorite song is either Feed Me or Dentist!

Chess- 1984
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I usually never refer to Chess as my favorite musical, but it always makes this list because the story behind this fucking musical is so wild and I have so much respect for it. I don’t really have a favorite character but my favorite song is One Night in Bangkok (duh) or Someone Else’s Story

Sunday in the Park With George- 1984
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
This musical is always number one on my shorted down version of this list. Although I’ve only known this musical for about two years, I couldn’t live without it. It’s my desert island musical and it’s so rare to find a musical where you love and enjoy every song but that’s me with Sunday in the Park with George. I literally love every second of every song and I cry every time I watch the recording.

Carrie- 1988
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I’m sort of obliged to put it on this list since it was one of the musicals I’ve been in, (even though we did the 2012 version there are some similarities) but I really enjoy the story behind the making and revival of this musical and I’ll always love it. My favorite character has to be Norma and my favorite song is of course In

now onto one of the craziest decades for musicals, the 90’s!

Top Five Musicals for the 1990’s:
Assassins- 1990
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
In my opinion, Assassins is one of the most important musical of our time. Not a lot of people know about it, but it’s amazing and very accessible. I love this musical with all my heart and Stephen Sondheim is an unadalterated genius. My favorite character is probably Booth, (I don’t like him as a person, I just like the way his character is portrayed) and my favorite song has to be Everybody’s Got the Right or Unworthy of Your Love.

Children of Eden-1991
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
So I just discovered this musical in April when my musical theatre teacher gave me “Spark of Creation” for a solo project. I immediately researched the musical and fell in love with the concept and everything about it. I love musicals based off religion or surrounding religion and this musical was no exception. My favorite character is probably Eve or Cain and my favorite song is of course, Spark of Creation. (But I also love Lost in the Wilderness and The Naming)

The Secret Garden- 1991
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
This was the first musical I was ever in. I was a little ten year old (yeah I haven’t been doing musicals for that long) and my community theatre put on The Secret Garden Jr. It was a complete mess but I loved it and it’s the reason I’m still acting today. My favorite character is probably Colin and my favorite song has to be Hold On.

Rent- 1996
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Do I even need to explain?
My favorite character is obviously Mimi and my favorite song has to be fucking all of them I literally love all of these songs so much I know it’s cliche but I’ve loved this music since I was nine years old just let me live

Parade- 1998
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Holy shit I love Parade
You guys don’t understand I love Parade so much it’s borderline obsessive
I just learned about this musical in 2015 thanks to my musical theatre class but I fell in love with it instantly. It keeps you on the edge of your seat for the entire production and the music is so titillating and exciting. My favorite character has to be Lucille and my favorite song is either Big News or The Factory Girls

Now onto possibly one of the best and most innovative decades ever for musical theatre: the 2000’s

My Top Five Favorite Musical for the 2000’s:
The Last Five Years- 2001
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
The Last Five Years is one of the most heartbreaking musicals of the twenty-first century and I don’t care if you think I’m wrong, it is. The Last Five Years has been my lifeblood since the sixth grade and I am actually in love with Nortbert Leo Butz. My favorite character would obviously be Cathy and my favorite song has always been and always will be Summer in Ohio.

Tick, Tick…Boom- 2001
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Despite just discovering this musical in like February, I am in love with almost every single song on this soundtrack. I literally cried the first time I heard it. I owe so much to Jonathan Larson and he inspires me every day. This musical is everything to me and it kills me it isn’t as big or as well known as Rent. My favorite character is of course Jon and my favorite song has to be either Sunday or Why. Why breaks my heart every single day.

Avenue Q- 2003
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Avenue Q was my favorite musical as a child and still is my favorite musical. I’ve found it absolutely hilarious since before I could understand it and I loved it more than Sesame Street as a child. My favorite character is probably Rod or Gary Coleman and my favorite songs have always been both The Internet is for Porn Schadenfreude. Even when I was five and had no idea what they were talking about. Imagine a five year old girl running around singing about porn in Trekkie Monster’s voice. My teachers all hated me.

Spring Awakening- 2006
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I know, it’s everyone’s favorite musical. But I love it. I’ve loved this musical since the sixth grade when I first heard Bitch of Living and Touch Me. This musical means so much to me and I have no idea why because I’ve never been able to fully relate to the themes of it (except for of course Martha). My favorite character has to be Melchior and my favorite song is of course Bitch of Living.

Next to Normal- 2009
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
If I try to explain why I’m going to start crying so maybe I’ll tell that story one day, but I don’t feel like sobbing for three hours today. My favorite character is obviously Natalie and I seriously love every song on this soundtrack. There is not a song I don’t like or have skipped when it comes on my playlist. I worship this musical.

(You guys have no idea how hard it was to pick these musicals from the hundreds of choices. This is literally one of my favorite decades for musical theatre.)

And last but not least, onto the most recent decades for musical theatre, the 2010’s.

My Top Five Favorite Musicals for the 2010’s:

Newsies- 2012
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Newsies was a musical that came to me in a dark time. I know it’s sort of juvenile and not exactly one of the greatest musicals of all time, but it’s the reason I started dancing again and the motivation for a lot of good long term choices. My favorite character will always be Davey and my favorite song is either Santa Fe or The World Will Know.

Beautiful- 2013
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Jessie Mueller inspires me to breathe every day and Carole King has been a role model of mine since I was like six. I’ve listened to this soundtrack more times than I can count. I bet it’s not hard to guess my favorite character and my favorite song would have to be I Feel the Earth Move because honestly that performance at the 2014 Tonys ruined my life and had me sobbing on my friend’s couch for the whole night.

Fun Home- 2014
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
Again, it would take a whole semester for me to explain why this is such an important musical to me, but I bet you understand why. My favorite character has to be Allison (all of them, I literally cannot choose) and my favorite song is of course Ring of Keys or Telephone Wire.

Hamilton- 2015
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
I hate that this musical is on the list, but I can’t leave it out. I literally cannot. This musical is too important to me. It would be too hard to choose a favorite song, but my favorite character is definitley Hamilton or Eliza. Or Angelica. Or maybe Laurens. Or Lafayette. Idk it’s one of them.

Tuck Everlasting- 2016
Why is this one of my favorite musicals?
It’s hard to explain, but I can tell the exact moment a musical makes the favorite list. The minute I heard Sarah Charles Lewis sing Everlasting, I knew this was going to be my favorite musical. It breaks my heart that this musical had to close so soon, but I actually love how much everyone loves it and realizes how great it was while it lasted. My favorite character is of course Jesse despite his flaws, and my favorite song has to be Time. Or Top of the World. Or Live Like This. It’s too early to choose, I suppose.

Anyway, thanks for reading my list and sorry for all the obvious cliches! Hope you guys enjoyed this brief glimpse into my tortured musical theatre mind!