Yawn and stretch. Just like every morning, at precisely six a.m., he would yawn and stretch before turning off the annoying buzzer. Or maybe not. He could barely move.
Oh. The sheets had been tucked in tightly on all sides. Dammit, Naruto…
He wiggled out and remade his bed, muttering various choice phrases. Glancing at the calendar on his way to the door, he realized why he had been pranked. It was April Fool’s Day. Of course, Naruto would be participating in this ridiculous tradition of pulling pranks.
“Oh for the love of–!” he yelped, having been drenched by a bucket of water so painstakingly perched on top of the door. He would have to be on full alert today. After he changed into dry clothes.
Wait a minute.
The corner of one of his shirts was poking out of the drawer. His meticulous cleaning methods would never allow for such a thing. The odds that something was in that drawer that shouldn’t be in that drawer was extremely likely. But he was cold, and he needed dry clothes. Bracing himself, he opened it.
On top of his favorite shirt lay a pink and blue rubber snake. One of the squishy ones. Ugh. He set it aside and changed his clothes.
He made his way carefully across the hall into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Before he used it, however, he sniffed his toothbrush. He was glad he did, because there was garlic powder on the bristles. There was also water in his toothpaste. He swapped it for Naruto’s, even though he really liked his cinnamon toothpaste. Peppermint would have to do for today. On his way downstairs into the kitchen, he dodged three trip wires, one plastic wrap blockade, and a banana peel. He left the trip wires and plastic in place, but the banana peel went into the compost pile. Of course, there was tape on the sink sprayer, which he immediately removed.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” Sasuke muttered upon opening a cupboard door. Not only had Naruto been busy setting up pranks all over the house, but he had rearranged everything in the kitchen cupboards. He must have been using shadow clones.
Once he had managed to find a bowl, a spoon, a glass, a box of cereal, and the milk, he was about to sit down at the table when something occurred to him. Sure enough, there was a whoopie cushion on his chair. He removed it and sat down to eat. There were plastic bugs in the cereal, which he had to fish out as he ate.
While he was eating, he happened to glance out the window. He had a clear view of the Hokage Rock from where he sat, and some idiot had been quite busy painting funny faces on all the previous Hokage and the current co-Hokage. Currently, his stone likeness was being turned into a cat-girl by an orange speck. Naruto.
“At least you painted your own face, too…” he muttered.
Wait a minute.
Naruto was outside.
Sasuke stood up immediately, finishing his de-bugged cereal on his way over to the door. With a hollow click, he locked the mischievous blond out. Problem solved. Or so he hoped. He’d better lock the back door, too. And the windows.
Just as he had hoped, there was a rattle, a louder rattle, and frustrated pounding at the door. Sasuke simply smirked and kept washing the dishes. Ignoring the yelling and constant thumping, he focused on the delicate curve of the ceramic bowl as he scrubbed away the cereal bits. Perfect. Now to make that glass as shiny as if it were brand new and keep ignoring Naruto.
“SASUKE! LET ME IN! IT’S COLD OUT HERE AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE RAINING!”
He kept working, even humming a little tune as he did so. For some reason, this twangy little country ditty was stuck in his head. He hated country music, but it was a catchy tune.
“SASUKE PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU!!!!”
He ignored him.
Still ignored him.
“SASUKE PLEASE I’M SORRY AND IT’S REALLY COLD PLEASE HELP MEEEEE!!!”
Alright. He couldn’t be too cruel. He dried his hands on the dish towel and went to unlock the door. Swept in with a burst of wind and rain was a very cranky and soaking wet Uzumaki.
“Fuck you,” he snarled, giving his fiancé a big, soaking wet hug.
“You know I’ve mastered the art of revenge, dobe.”
“Yeah but it’s the day all pranksters look forward to and I couldn’t help it.”
“Even as Hokage, you’re still a dork.”
“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” Naruto replied, nuzzling his lover’s cheek.
“Oh, sure, play the romance card. Smooth bastard,” Sasuke muttered, wrapping his arms around the other man’s shoulders.
Sasuke chuckled, burying his nose in the soft, blond hair. Despite the onslaught of pranks he’d faced this morning, he couldn’t help but smile at Naruto’s antics. He knew that it had been done out of love, and not out of malice. It was definitely worth the occasional chaos and mischief, because these little moments of honest affection could wipe away months of misery in seconds.
“Wanna go make out for no reason whatsoever?” Naruto asked suddenly, glancing up at Sasuke.