Appreciation post for everyone who works backstage on a production
The set designers, the costume designers, the theatre techs, everyone who cleans up between shows. Everyone who works just as hard as the actors and without whom there would be no play, but who get no credit.
So I’ve been seeing a lot of Roman love posts lately, mostly because of Roman’s name day having come around this week, and I love it. Most of them are centered around how precious Roman is, and I agree. Roman “Princey” Sanders is an adorable dork and precious bean that’s too good for this world and needs protection.
But my brain sees fluff and says “but what if angst” so here’s some thoughts on Roman that almost made me cry last night.
Here’s the deal, pals: Roman is so scared of letting Thomas down. And yeah, we get a hint of this:
“I can’t… *sigh* …let you down”
But here’s the thing: That’s not just Roman being inherently afraid of failure. I mean, yeah, I’m sure that’s inherently part of him as a side, but that’s not the end of the story.
Creativity isn’t necessarily vital to a person’s decision making process. Hopes, dreams, fantasies, none of them are absolutely necessary in that way. The way I see it, growing up, Logan, Virgil, and Patton all had a hand on the wheel of Thomas’ mind while Roman kind of lolled in the back seat until Thomas needed a break. After all, creativity and daydreaming are escapes from reality, outlets for when the world gets a little too harsh or overwhelming. This was a great arrangement for Roman - he was purely there to make sure Thomas had fun, that he enjoyed himself and had some healthy time away from the harsh reality that is this world. Sure, sometimes he’d voice his opinions on things and announce his dreams when there were opportunities to follow them, but none of the others took him very seriously.
Then, all of a sudden, Thomas decided that he was going to be a performer for a living. None of them saw this coming - he was gonna go into chemical engineering, for Pete’s sake! - and all at once, Roman had a hand on the wheel and no clue what to do. He was positive, of course - he’s like Patton in that he hides his real feelings and struggles behind flamboyance and optimism - but yeah no our boy was and still is terrified.
He’d never had to deal with reality before, it was never a necessity for him to know what was going on with Thomas’ job or money (his natural habitat is “daydream mode” c’mon), his ideas had never held any sway over those of the other sides, and now all of a sudden he feels all of this pressure to produce more and better content than ever before, most - if not all - being put out for more public ridicule than ever before, and the sudden pressure was staggering. He felt like everything was on him - if Thomas didn’t produce good content, he would lose everything - his job, his friends, his home, everything.
Our boy is SO SCARED
He thinks if he does one thing wrong or doesn’t produce content Thomas’ life will fall apart and it’ll be all his fault. That’s why he needs validation. He wants to make sure he’s doing the right thing, that he’s making the right decisions for the greater good. He doesn’t let it show, since he’s also so worried about keeping up appearances and acting like nothing’s wrong (all of the sides are extreme emotion bottlers/disguisers, let’s just face facts at this point) but we do see it quite obviously in Accepting Anxiety pt. 2
A few more subtle instances of his insecurities shining through (these are my interpretations, please don’t read too deeply into them or think I think they’re fact, they’re not):
how frustrated he gets in the ask episode when he’s the last one to get a question from a fan because he would’ve thought the fans would love him since they love Thomas and he’s the side that Thomas looks to for the videos they love so much
The way he kind of quietly chuckles at Virgil’s “you’re the least popular character” jab at Logan - it seemed like less of a “haha that was funny” laugh and more like a “wow if Virgil thinks the people like me maybe they actually do” relieved chuckle before he recovers himself with the “curse you for making me laugh” comment
“Does it look okay? Because a prince has got to slay” He’s so worried about his image because he wants so badly to be accepted and is terrified that if he can’t keep up appearances then he’ll be rejected
In the Christmas special when he gets frustrated at the others criticizing his line for Virgil and going off about how he has a lot of stuff going on - he’s not kidding. Creating for YouTube is probably bleeding him dry of imagination and ideas (another glimpse of that in Am I Original?) and he doesn’t seem to be getting any support from the other sides until Patton steps in and asks the others to be more positive and not stifle Roman.
how shyly he asks Thomas if they can act together again sometime, like he’s worried that Thomas didn’t enjoy the experience the way he did or is scared that Thomas will reject him
He overcompensates to cover up these insecurities with false confidence that comes off as egoism, which makes sense since he’s the ego. Patton’s the only one that sees through this in Accepting Anxiety pt. 2 (lordy, this episode’s got all the angsty insights) when he asks if Roman has self esteem issues, which he does.
TL;DR: Roman is so scared and fragile and not built for the kind of pressure he’s under and he needs protection and love and cuddles love him please
Don’t feel like you must completely change yourself into a whole new person now that it’s 2018. You do not have to change your entire look, beliefs, and lifestyle. You do not have to reverse yourself into someone completely different.
Instead, look for areas in which you would genuinely like to improve upon. Can you be wiser, kinder, or more considerate? Maybe become more self disciplined, task oriented, or patient?
There are countless ways that we are able to develop ourselves, and instead of being forced to become someone completely different, one should instead try to become the best version of none other than themselves.
What is it that you hope to work on within yourself? What self growth goals does 2018 bring for you?
“Taylor’s been the person I’ve been calling the most when I’m freaking out. She’s been like, ‘Todrick, you got this.’ She’s like, ‘You’re the most fierce person I know.’ I’ve been strutting in my heels for her on FaceTime.”
Y'all Ethan’s content lately is so on point! I absolutely love to see how on fire and energetic his videos are lately. I watch YouTube to help stay happy and get good creative energy flowing so watching Ethan has helped so much! And the editing! Y'all, it’s been so good! Especially the recent videos like Mutant Football and Drunk Side of the Moon. They have me laughing through the entire thing. Even after the shitstorm of October and how busy he is, Ethan’s not only posting 2 videos a day, but he’s super active on social media and busy with traveling all over the place for holidays and tours. I JUST REALLY LOVE HIM AND HIS VIDEOS AND REALLY APPRECIATE ALL THE WORK HE DOES FOR US AND HOW HE IS SO FUNNY AND REAL, OK?!